


Battling Fate

by Pegtastic



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Danger, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 161,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegtastic/pseuds/Pegtastic
Summary: What if Harvey never told Paula about the kiss? What if Paula never gave that ultimatum? Now that her friendship with Harvey is broken, who will Donna turn to in times of trouble? This is set post 7:10 with some changes to canon. I intend this to be a multi-chapter fic, Some later chapters are mature, but fair warning will be given.
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first ever piece of FF, and I’m nervous as hell about it. I do hope you enjoy it. This is set post 7:10, but with a few changes to canon.  
> Humongous thanks have to go to AlternateShadesofBlue (Twitter: @ashadesofblue) and Kate McK (Twitter: @KateMcK7) for being my most marvellous beta’s. I would never have dared to publish this without their kind words of support and encouragement and of course their top class help and advice.

Battling Fate

CHAPTER 1

She'd promised herself that the late night self pity parties in her office would stop. No more wallowing in misery, drinking too many three finger whiskey measures despite it not even being her favourite tipple. She'd slowly come to the realisation that all she was doing each night was drinking to numb the pain, and doing so in her office to avoid going home to an empty apartment. The thought of which simply filled her with dread. For too long now, each time she stepped over the threshold of her home, the cold stillness would hit her with such force that it would steal her breath and she's sure the only sound she hears is that of another fissure in her heart cracking through the silence.

The loneliness she felt was beginning to overwhelm her. Recent events in her personal life had brought to her attention a stark reality. She was the wrong side of 40, single and with little going on in her life except for work. This was of little concern to her not that long ago, when work was fulfilling, giving her a sense of pride in her achievements, especially when she looked back at her hard fought journey to get to where she is today. PSL had also been her surrogate family, a place where she felt she belonged, felt safe, secure and happy. All that felt like a distant memory now. Sure, she still had friends here, close friends at that. Louis had stepped up and been her rock these last few months, their roles of emotional care giver and recipient seemingly reversed. He'd been kind, patient and fiercely loyal. Never asking for the specifics of what had transpired over the last few months, even though she knew he was chomping at the bit to know what happened

Donna smiled softly at the thought of Louis. It wasn't that long ago that he too was suffering heartache, his confessions of pain and lost love having galvanized her into reckless action. Her eyes instantly shut at the thought of that particular memory, her breath caught and once again she felt the tightness in her chest. Her fingers squeezed the glass of Macallan and she took another large gulp, willing the harsh liquid to burn away the memory of that night as she swallowed it down. Her glass was empty again.

The temptation to refill it once more was strong, but she remembered her promise to herself.

She couldn't carry on like this.

She may not actually be the powerful, strong, all seeing and knowing Donna that people believed her to be. She was well aware that her skills and talents predominantly lay in the care of others, not herself. In fact, when it came to her own life, Donna felt she was seriously lacking, often making bad choices and seemingly doubting herself more and more. Regardless, she knew that change would have to come soon, and she had to be strong enough to face it.

A soft knock on her office door stirred her from her thoughts. She looked up to see Louis, hovering in the doorway wearing a concerned frown. She quickly donned her mask once more, smiling softly at her friend as she rose from her chair.

"Hey Louis...I know, I know..I promised I'd finish earlier today. Time ran away from me."

Louis nodded slowly, not fooled by her words, nor her smile.

"Every day this week it would seem."

"Louis... Please don't!" Donna rubbed her forehead with a sigh.

Louis nodded once more, resigned to not pushing the issue. "If it's because you're still working on the new quarterly forecasts, the deadline isn't for another week yet. I told you there's no immediate rush."

Donna picked up her laptop case, and started packing her things away.

"I know Louis, but you and I both know that if I don't actually have it done by this Friday, I won't hear the end of it." She slammed her empty tumbler back on the drinks tray with more force than she intended, frustration having got the better of her.

Louis winced. He knew she wasn't wrong.

"Donna..." He paused, knowing he was treading dangerous ground now, "How about I bring it up at the partners' meeting tomorrow. I'll tell him that I've asked you to —"

"NO!" Donna snapped, instantly regretting her tone, when she saw Louis visibly blanch. She sighed again, grabbing her coat. "I don't need you to fight my battles for me," she said more softly. "I'll get the work done for Friday, it's not a problem, okay?"

The smile was back on her face, albeit even more unconvincingly than before. Louis's shoulders dropped in defeat. He turned to lead the way out the door, but hesitated, facing her and effectively blocking her exit.

"This can't go on Donna."

She immediately bristled, opening her mouth to respond.

Louis didn't give her the chance. "No, hear me out." He took her hand and gently squeezed it. He dipped his head, making sure they made eye contact. "I haven't asked what happened between you two, and you don't have to tell me, but whatever it is, I refuse to believe that you have done anything to warrant the way he has been treating you recently."

Donna looked away from him, nothing but pain and regret in her eyes. Her lack of verbal response this time gave him the courage to continue.

"It's tantamount to bullying Donna, and … And, well, you just let him do it."

Donna snapped her head back. "Don't be ridiculous Louis. You don't understand"

'No...I don't! I'm completely baffled." He threw his arms up in the air in frustration. "Every goddamn meeting he either pointedly ignores you or he belittles you, and you do nothing."

"Louis."

"The atmosphere is horrendous. Everyone's noticed, the partners, associates...hell even Colin the Janitor asked me the other day if you were both ok."

Donna gritted her teeth, but Louis was on a roll, months of worry, concern and anxiety over his two best friends finally taking its toll.

"Whatever has happened, you've both lost yourselves. I mean, okay…He's always been a dick but the mighty Donna Paulsen curtailed and cowed down? I never thought I'd see the day."

"LOUIS...enough." Donna wrenched her hand from Louis's grasp. "I crossed a line, okay? I made a terrible mistake and now I'm facing the consequences. It's as simple as that."

Louis stepped back, his frown deepened. Donna moved to step past him, deciding she had had enough of this conversation. She knew Louis meant well, and was only trying to help, but the late hour and excessive alcohol coursing through her veins meant she just couldn't face this conversation right now.

"I'm going home, Louis. Give my best to Sheila, I'll...I'll see you in the morning." She patted his arm and swept past him, leaving him still frowning.

She marched towards the elevators, silently thanking the Gods that the office next to hers was in darkness, and that her recent words had not been overheard.

As she made the swift descent down to the lobby, her emotions were in turmoil again. She felt guilty about her abruptness with Louis. He really did seem like her only friend, which she knew was silly, and not the case. However with the way things were at the moment, and Mike and Rachel now in Seattle, she'd never felt so alone and vulnerable. She missed Rachel so badly. What she wouldn't give for a Harriet Specter and Michelle Ross night out. In fact, just a night in with her friend and a bottle of wine would be enough. Someone she could talk to, who wouldn't ever judge her and would give her a much needed hug.

The elevator doors pinged open, and Donna stepped through the lobby, pulling her coat tightly around her to ready herself against the biting New York wind. She hailed a cab, and sank back into the seat, closing her eyes once more as her head started to throb. She really shouldn't have had that extra drink. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and reached for it with a sigh. Probably Louis checking she really was on her way home.

To her surprise the caller ID was her father. She hesitated. She hadn't spoken to him for weeks, but she was tired and didn't have the energy to don her happy, 'everything is fine' voice, knowing full well he wouldn't be fooled anyway. She put the phone back in her pocket and let it ring out, as the cab pulled up to her apartment. He would leave her a message if it was important, if not she promised herself she would call him in the morning.

She paid the driver and stepped out of the cab, and immediately came to an abrupt halt as she looked up and saw the man she'd been avoiding all day. Her blood ran cold, and her heart began beating rapidly. Her headache was now pounding incessantly, not helped by the steely look he was giving her, his deep brown eyes lacking their usual warmth.

"Harvey," she all but whispered. "Why are you here?" She gripped her handbag more tightly in the hope it would disguise her shaking hands.

"This won't take long," he said, devoid of any emotion.

She barely nodded. "Okay.." she noticed his hand twitch by his side. He was nervous, despite his indifferent air. Her stomach dropped, and she swallowed heavily. He wouldn't, would he? After everything they have been through together?

"Are you … are you firing me?" she stammered. Her eyes were wide, and her bottom lip trembled.

Harvey grimaced, his head cocked to one side. "Do you think if I was, I'd do it here … really?"

Donna shook her head and glanced up to the sky, willing her tears to keep at bay. "Honestly? I don't know what to think anymore," she sighed, shaking her head.

Silence fell between them. She dared to look back at him then and this time Harvey broke eye contact first, shuffling slightly on the spot as he looked down at his feet. She took the opportunity to study him a little. He was immaculately dressed as always. Despite the late hour and low light, she deduced he was wearing his Navy Blue three piece Tom Ford suit, his long black cashmere coat, scarf and leather gloves lending him a sophisticated but intimidating appearance. It was the look he normally opted for when he was readying for battle, she painfully realised. This matched the anger and resentment that seemed to seep from his every pore. Whatever he was here to say, it was clear he wasn't here to forgive and forget.

Donna took a step nearer to him and took a deep breath.

"What do you want, Harvey?" she asked, readying herself for whatever was to come.

Harvey looked up, and Donna saw the resolve in his eyes.

"I need the spare key to my apartment back."

Donna's breath hitched. She didn't expect this, but wasn't surprised. She'd probably used that key only a handful of times in the decade that he had owned his apartment, but the fact that she had been the only person he trusted to have it had said a great deal about their relationship. Regardless of the countless women who had been in his bed, and the few relationships he had had, she had still remained his significant other, the only one to have a key.

Until now.

Her fingers twitched around the straps of her handbag. His key was attached to her own house keys, safely ensconced in her bag.

She swallowed and instinctively stepped back from him.

"Couldn't this have waited until tomorrow?" she questioned.

"The office is for business matters… this is personal," he said, his eyes not wavering from hers.

Donna swallowed, and ran a hand through her hair nervously. They'd never had to differentiate between the two before.

"I'm sorry, Harvey, I don't have it here. It's in my desk at work." She lied. She didn't know why. She was clearly only delaying the inevitable, but the hurt of his request had made her panic, not willing to relinquish one more delicate string that attached them to each other.

Harvey had looked away from her again. He sighed and stepped forward to leave. "Make sure it's on my desk in the morning." He huffed as he reached for the car door handle of the black Lexus.

Donna felt her eyes sting, and a lump formed in her throat. His aloofness, and obvious disdain for her cutting far too deep.

"It's for her, isn't it?" she blurted out, inwardly cursing herself for showing a moment of weakness.

Harvey paused as he opened the car door. He turned to look at her, and his eyes narrowed.

"No Donna, I gave Paula a key several weeks ago. I just don't think you need it anymore."

This time there was no hiding the impact his words had on her. She gasped, and nodded quickly whilst fiercely blinking back the tears.

"It'll be on your desk first thing." Her voice cracked on those last few words, betraying her clear distress. For a split second, a look of regret flashed across Harvey's face and he hesitated for a moment...but just as quickly, it was gone, only to be replaced once again with the same stern glare that had greeted her when she had stepped out of the cab. He climbed into the car and slammed his door shut, the car pulling away instantly.

Donna was still stood on the sidewalk several minutes later. Her hand covered her mouth as she let out a sob. The tears were now running freely down her cheeks, and she didn't care that several passers by were eyeing her with concern.

How did it come to this? How had it got this bad between them? All because of one kiss, one impulsive move and now she felt she had lost her best friend indefinitely.

It was bad enough that she had to deal with the realisation that she was hopelessly in love with a man that had made it abundantly clear, he did not feel the same. It hurt like hell, especially as she watched from the sidelines as his relationship with Paula deepened.

She had anticipated his anger, and felt she had weathered the storm of his immediate reaction following the night she kissed him. However, Harvey's anger hadn't waned. If anything, it had intensified which quite frankly baffled her. She had apologised, more than once. She had promised him that nothing like that would ever happen again. She had even lied and told him that she felt nothing, and that therefore it had really meant nothing— although if truth be told —that was more to appease her own humiliation than it was to appease Harvey. Yet each day, their relationship deteriorated further.

"Hey…are you okay?"

Donna felt a hand on her arm, and she turned to see a somewhat attractive man with a vaguely familiar face.

"It's Paulsen, isn't it? Your name? You live here?" He pointed to the building behind her, his hand still on her arm.

"Excuse me?" Donna casually dropped her arm, and frowned quizzically at the man, as she hastily wiped her tear stained face.

"You live in this building right? I live here too... on the ground floor."

"Oh...I see...erm yes. I'm fine, thanks." She gave him a quick smile, and then rifled through her handbag, looking for her keys.

"Are you sure? You look upset." The man stuffed his hands in his pockets, clearly not satisfied with her response.

"Honestly, I really am fine thanks. Just had a bad day." She moved towards the steps of their apartment block.

He followed. "You wanna get a drink...I'm a great listener."

Donna rolled her eyes. This was the last thing she needed tonight. "I'm sure you are, but what I really want now is to go home...so thanks again, but no."

She gave him a weak smile, then jogged up the steps into the building, not looking back to see if he was still standing there.

By the time she made it to her front door, she felt utterly exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. She reached for her key and froze when she noticed Harvey's key dangling next to it. The two keys were separated only by a leather fob. She ran her finger across the fob, and her eyes welled up with tears again as she recalled the day Harvey had given it to her. He'd done so in response to her constant complaints that he was a terrible gift giver. She turned the fob over, and she choked back another sob as she read the words inscribed "Debbie, NY's Best Secretary".

"Asshole," she whispered. She opened her door and stepped into the silence once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is still very angsty, and you will notice that there are some changes to canon here. I switched some of the timings of events around, to fit with my story.
> 
> Once again, all comments and reviews are very much wanted and appreciated xx
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Her plan had gone to shit.

It had been such a good plan too. Simple, sensible and supposedly effective.

She'd had the worst nights sleep imaginable following her God awful day yesterday. Instead of wisely taking herself straight to bed when she got home, she instead reached immediately for the fridge and poured herself a hefty sized glass of wine. Her promises to herself clearly deferred for another day.

When she eventually made it to bed in the early hours of the morning, the events of that day, and specifically her evening encounter with Harvey, had replayed in her mind on a constant loop. The anguish and heartache she felt only seemed to intensify on each rerun of that conversation. Try as she might to clear her mind and focus on something else, so that sleep could find her more easily, she failed to prevent images of a cold and distant Harvey from invading her thoughts.

As dawn approached, she was still awake. Thoroughly exhausted and now thoroughly pissed off that she had allowed herself to succumb to such misery.

So she had made a plan. One that would enable her to start pulling herself out of the mire. She was better than this. Hell, she deserved better than this, but only she could make it happen. She just needed to set herself some simple goals and then tackle each day, one day at a time.

Starting with today. Ten simple steps.

Look even more fabulous than normal.

Get into work early, drink coffee.

Call her Dad - he had left a message and he had sounded worried.

Deliver Harvey's key to him - remain professional and calm!

Attend the partners meeting - remain professional and calm!

Invite Louis out to lunch.

Continue working on the quarterly forecasts.

Finish before 7pm - stay away from the whiskey.

Call Rachel - stay away from the wine.

Early night to bed.

Initially, everything had gone according to plan. She'd arrived at the firm armed with a nonfat triple whipped mocha latte and a fierce smile. She needed her armour today. Feeling and looking good always made her feel better about herself and a boost to her confidence and self esteem was definitely in order. She'd chosen a short black Valentino dress with flared sleeves and skirt. The dress accentuated her long legs as did the nude loubatines she'd paired it with.

She marched towards her office, noticing much to her relief that Harvey hadn't arrived yet. Leaving his key was to be the first action of the day. She wanted to avoid another painful conversation and she also wanted it done and out of the way so that she couldn't dwell or think about it too much. Doing so would just dip her back into that pit of despair.

Just as she'd paused at his door and reached inside her bag for the key, her phone started to ring. Her father was calling her again. Donna frowned. She still felt a little guilty for not calling him back last night, and whilst she had intended to speak to him later that morning, she decided there was no time like the present.

"Hi Dad, how are things?" Donna turned towards her own office, closing the door behind her.

"Donna! It's good to hear your voice," Jim sighed heavily.

Donna lightly chuckled. "No need to be so dramatic, Dad. I was going to call you later this morning." She sat down and swung her chair around to look out at the New York skyline.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I rang last night and left a message, and when I didn't hear back from you…" Jim's voice trailed off, the worry still evident in his tone.

"Dad, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" She could sense there was more to this call than the usual catch up.

"Yes, yes. Everything's fine sweetheart," he said rather too quickly. "It's just the last time we spoke, you sounded troubled. I was sure there was something on your mind, and I just wanted to check that you're okay?"

Donna closed her eyes and sighed. Her father might not have the same powers of observation that she possessed, but she was well aware that she had made a bad job of hiding her emotional state last time they'd spoken. They had met for dinner, and she had smiled, joked, babbled incessantly about Mike and Rachel's pending nuptials, Louis's rekindling of his romance with Sheila and anything and everything except for herself. She had noticed her father's frown deepen as the evening had progressed. He hadn't commented though, so she chose to fool herself into thinking she had gotten away with it.

"I'm fine, Dad, really. Just very busy with work. COO is a step up for me in more ways than one. Lots more responsibility, even longer hours. It takes its toll sometimes, that's all." She bit her lip, hoping her explanation would satisfy his concern.

"Hmmm. I hope Harvey isn't putting too much pressure on you. He does have a tendency to take you for granted, he—"

"Dad! Of course not. This is my job now, and it's what I wanted. I have no regrets on that front. I enjoy what I do, but it's a high pressure environment and some days can be stressful. Nothing I can't handle though." She shuffled nervously in her seat, hoping the interrogation would soon come to an end.

"No regrets regarding your job, but you have other regrets then, yes? Does this have something to do with Harvey? You barely mentioned him when we had dinner, and that has to be a first."

Shit!

Donna stood up from her chair and walked towards her window.

"No Dad. Harvey is fine. I didn't mention him because I haven't really seen much of him. We are both really busy. Robert Zane has joined the firm and he's brought people with him. That's created significant changes and a lot of admin. Harvey and I barely cross paths at work now that I'm no longer his secretary." She was babbling again.

"Yes, but you are more than just work colleagues though. He's your friend, isn't he? Don't you socialize outside of work?" Her father's words were like a clamp around her heart. Donna took a sharp intake of breath, and her eyes instantly watered.

"No time, Dad, we're all working so late at the moment," she said, aware of the wobble in her voice. "Besides, Harvey has a girlfriend, so understandably any spare time he has he spends with her." She squeezed her eyes shut once more, willing an end to this conversation as soon as possible.

"Aah...well that's some significant news. Harvey Specter has a girlfriend? No wonder—"

"DAD! Please, enough… Don't make this into something it's not." She was done with the pretense, and she was done talking about Harvey.

Jim sighed. "Okay Donna, fair enough. I'm glad work is going well…" There was a noticeable pause. "So nothing else is troubling you? Is everything okay at home too?" He asked rather too casually.

Donna frowned. "What do you mean, at home?" she questioned, slightly confused.

"Nothing, just checking you are okay, sweetheart. You're not exactly forthcoming when it concerns yourself, Donna. It's like getting blood out of a stone."

Donna wearily shook her head and was about to respond when she paused, hearing raised voices from the office next door. Harvey had clearly arrived at his office and from the sounds of it, someone was getting an ear bashing already.

"Dad, sorry, I've gotta go. Something has come up." She made her way around her desk towards the door. "Listen, how about we have dinner again soon? We can have a proper chat then and I can put your mind at rest that I really am okay." Donna's tone was deliberately lighter, determined to pacify her father.

"That would be lovely, Donna. How about Saturday?" he asked hopefully.

"I can't this weekend, Dad. It's Mike and Rachel's wedding remember?" she reminded him. The thought of which caused an immediate knot to form in her stomach. She couldn't be happier for her two friends, but she'd be lying if she claimed she wasn't dreading the upcoming weekend.

"That's this weekend? No, I didn't realise. So you're flying to Seattle then...on Friday?" He asked rather cautiously.

"Well, I'm not planning on walking there, no." She chuckled. "Yes, I've got a flight booked Friday afternoon. How about I call you next week and we can arrange something then?"

There was silence on the line as Jim didn't immediately respond.

"Dad…?"

"Yes of course, sweetheart. You have a safe trip and enjoy the wedding," Jim finally answered.

"I will Dad, thanks," she whispered, knowing full well that wasn't likely. "Till next week then…"

"Donna?" Jim paused once again. "Will you do me a favour, and just let me know when you arrive safely in Seattle?" he asked.

"Okay, now you're just being plain weird. Stop worrying about me, Dad. I'm a grown woman and I've flown on a plane before… and on my own too. I didn't even need a booster seat or a pacifier." She giggled.

"You can tease all you like young lady, but I'm your father and I'm allowed to worry about you. Just promise me you'll call and keep an old man happy," he said gently.

Donna sighed. "Okay, I promise. Now I really have to go. Take care, Dad, love you."

"I love you too, Donna."

She ended the call, and tapped the phone against her chin. It wasn't unusual for her Dad to fuss over her, but something felt a little off. Throughout the whole call, she felt he was holding something back.

As she pondered the conversation, it dawned on her that all now seemed to be quiet next door.

She decided she would find Louis and see if he was free for lunch later. She felt she needed to make it up to him after the way she had spoken to him the night before. On her way she could check to see if Harvey was out of his office, the thought of his key still in her bag niggling away at her. She picked up her coffee and her handbag and as she stepped through the door she slammed head first into Robert Zane, the momentum causing her coffee to fly through the air and deposit over both of them.

"What the hell, Red!" Robert bellowed. "What is it with this firm, that folks don't know how to walk anywhere without throwing goddamn coffee all over me?" Robert swiftly removed his jacket, but it was clear his shirt underneath had not escaped the accident.

"Son of a bitch!" Robert scowled.

"I'm so sorry, Robert, I just didn't see you there." Donna looked down in dismay. Her dress was soaked, thankfully being black it wasn't as noticeable as Robert's shirt. Her precious louboutins on the other hand had not fared so well.

"No shit!" Robert scoffed, as he futilely wiped away at his shirt. "I have a deposition in twenty minutes and I look like a goddamn hobo!"

"Don't you have a spare shirt here, Robert?" Donna asked meekly.

"Of course I do, Donna," he snapped. "That's why I'm still standing here flapping my gums with you, and not stressing at all about the fact that I have to meet with a $50 million dollar client looking like shit!"

His sarcasm on on any other day would have washed straight over her, but Donna's normal thick skin was paper thin these days, and she felt her eyes sting as she tried to regain her composure.

"I really am sorry, Robert," she stammered.

"Yeah well, 'sorry' doesn't help me for shit," he grumbled as he turned to walk away.

As he did so she noticed that their entire encounter had been observed by Harvey from his office. She caught his gaze and he immediately looked away, tapping furiously on his laptop. The same familiar blank expression on his face.

Feeling frustrated, Donna called after Robert. "I can have a replacement shirt ready for you by the time you have to be at that deposition."

Robert turned back to face her, eyebrows raised. "In fifteen minutes? I may be aware of the voodoo crap that you can pull, but that just isn't possible."

"For ordinary folk maybe, but I'm not like most ordinary folk." She smiled, a lilt of sass in her voice. "But the clock is ticking, and as you said so yourself, the more you stand around here flappin' your gums, the less time I have to perform miracles." She gave him a wink and a smile.

"Okay, Red." Robert looked amused. "You get this done, and I'll happily forget this whole incident ever happened."

"I'll get this done, Robert, and I don't expect you to doubt my abilities again."

With that she turned back to her office, already dialling up that guy she knows.

Robert had a crisp new shirt delivered exactly four minutes before his deposition was due to start, but that was the only successful thing she achieved that day. The next few hours saw her caught up in one crisis after another, from dealing with a disciplinary in the associate pool, a formal complaint made by one of their oldest clients, and Samantha Wheeler undermining her with Robert regarding expenses. Before she knew it, the afternoon had arrived, she hadn't managed to break for lunch at all, let alone seek out Louis, and thanks to an impromptu visit from David Fox regarding an issue with their lease, she was now late for the partners' meeting. In addition to the queasiness she felt, her head was aching again, and Harvey's key was still burning a hole in the bottom of her Givenchy mini Antigona bag.

She shut down her laptop and made her way to the conference room, inwardly groaning when she realised she was the last to arrive.

"Sorry I'm late everyone," she mumbled, as she hastily took her seat and took out her notebook and trusty tri-color pen.

"No problem, Donna. We've got all day," Harvey snipped.

The atmosphere in the room immediately cooled as everyone readied themselves for yet another awkward meeting. Donna instantly picked up on the tension as she observed the other partners' body language - their clear desire to suddenly be anywhere but here. Choosing to ignore Harvey's jibe, she gave her warmest smile to the room, hoping it might help thaw the icy chill in the air. "Where are we at then?"

Louis cleared his throat, and turned to Donna with a nervous smile. "We were just giving updates on current cases and evaluating everyone's availability for next week. As it stands, most of us are pretty much at full capacity. However, we have established that Alex and Katrina should be able to handle the Akoma acquisition and providing the SEC don't shit the bed with the Allen corp. prosecution, Robert should have Benjamin Lanyon's criminal charges dropped by the end of the week."

Donna quickly scribbled in her notebook then looked back at Louis. "What about Regency Fine Foods?"

"What about them?" Samantha questioned, leaning forward.

"My understanding is that they are looking to cease operations in the U.S and move back to the U.K.," Donna asserted.

"Well that's news to me," Samantha balked. "I only met with Clive Sivitter last week and he said nothing of the sort to me."

Donna nodded her head at Samantha. "That doesn't surprise me, it's not common knowledge and no official decision has been made—"

"So where are you getting this from Donna?" Samantha interrupted.

Donna paused, choosing her words carefully. "Lets just say that my sources tell me Clive's personal circumstances are about to drastically change and the fall out is likely to damage the company's reputation here."

Samantha stared open mouthed. "What sources?"

Donna put her pen down. "I really can't say, but it might be prudent to free up some of the associates for you next week, because I'm pretty sure you're gonna need them."

Before Samantha could respond, Harvey waved his hand. "That won't be necessary, Donna," Harvey said, his tone dismissive.

Donna felt her heart rate increase. Here we go again.

"It is necessary, Harvey, because I assure you the chance of this happening is incredibly high. It's good business practice to anticipate situations like this and be prepared," Donna said authoritatively, knowing each person in the room was now glancing nervously between the two of them.

Harvey leaned back in his chair, his jaw clenched as he looked Donna square in the eye.

"Yeah well, Donna, I'd rather not waste valuable time and resources on the hearsay of someone who quite frankly knows shit about the law, and gets her information gossiping with a bunch of bored secretaries she used to hang out with."

Silence fell in the room, and Donna felt her skin instantly flush with humiliation. She glanced around the table, all eyes were staring at her in either shock or even worse, pity. She swallowed slowly, closing her notebook, her hands shaking.

"I think on that note," she all but whispered, "I should excuse myself from this meeting if that's okay with everyone." Donna stood, every limb trembling, her eyes cast down to the floor. She was desperate to leave the room as quickly as she could, feeling totally exposed and vulnerable.

Louis looked horrified, once again dismayed at Harvey's cruel words and Donna's reluctance to stand up for herself.

"What the fuck, Harvey!" Louis shouted, rage bubbling under his skin.

"LOUIS!" Donna gasped. The last thing she wanted was Louis jumping to her defense. She knew he only wanted to protect her, but making a scene here in front of all the senior partners just ramped up the humiliation she felt. All she wanted was to quietly leave the room with as little fuss as possible and retreat to the safety of her office. "It's okay—"

"Like hell it is!" Louis sprang out of his chair and rounded on Harvey, pointing his finger in his face. "How dare you talk to her like that!" He bellowed. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

No, no, no, no! Donna covered her eyes with her hand, willing the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

"What did you just say to me?" Harvey rose sharply, his chair flying back and hitting the wall.

"I said, who the fuck do you think you are, you piece of shit." They were now toe to toe with each other, staring each other down.

"LOUIS! Enough!... It doesn't matter," Donna pleaded, willing Louis to calm down.

"I'll tell you who I am, Louis. I'm the goddamn managing partner and you can sit the hell down and keep your mouth shut!" Harvey towered over Louis, his voice raised but steely calm.

"Why should I? You gonna hit me if I don't? It wouldn't be the first time, would it—"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Robert banged his fist sharply on the table. His outburst immediately silencing the two warring senior partners.

It was Robert's turn to stand, and he instantly commanded the room. "I think I've just about had enough of this shit show! What kind of operation are you trying to run here, cause it sure as hell isn't a corporate law firm. I've seen kindergarten kids behave better on sugar treat Friday."

"Robert—" Harvey sat back down with a heavy sigh.

"No Harvey, it's your turn to shut up and listen, or I swear to God, I'll walk out of this firm faster than you can say 'kiss my ass'."

Silence once again befell the conference room. Robert continued, "Now, we all know the circumstances that brought us here. This firm was on its knees, and we came together to build something better. Well, if we want any chance of success, I think it's time we had a rethink regarding the management of Zane Specter Litt."

Harvey's head snapped up and he glared at Robert."You have got to be kidding me?" he scoffed. "I wondered how long it would take you. You've just been waiting for an opportunity to sweep in here and take my firm, well I can promise you now, it ain't gonna happen!"

Robert sighed deeply, shaking his head. "I'm not gonna argue with you here, right now Harvey. Tensions are running high, and I think we all need some time to think about what I've said. I'm confident that the three of us can come together and talk this out like grown men, until then I suggest postponing this meeting until next week."

Harvey was still shaking his head in disbelief, whilst Louis was looking sheepishly at Donna, who now had tears in her eyes. She looked back at him and shook her head, despair clearly evident on her face.

Alex broke the silence, clearing his throat. "I think that's a good idea. We've all got a ton of work to do before we leave for Seattle this weekend. We can reconvene Monday. I'm sure we'll all be feeling a lot better after the wedding. I think some time away from this place and celebrating with Mike and Rachel is just the tonic we all need."

Whilst the tension in the room clearly softened at Alex's words, for Donna she felt at breaking point. The humiliation she still felt was visceral, and just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, her mind was now also flooded with thoughts of the upcoming weekend. Any happy notions of seeing her sorely missed friends were overshadowed with thoughts of Harvey with Paula at the wedding. Dancing, laughing, kissing…

Heart beating rapidly, she grabbed her bag and practically fled from the room. Her head ringing as the blood pounded in her ears, drowning out the sound of Louis calling after her.

She ran to the washroom, launched herself into the first stall and immediately threw up. Coughing, and spluttering, she wiped her mouth and slowly stood up, her knees still shaking. Christ, could this day get any worse?

She flushed the contents of her stomach away and gingerly turned back towards the bank of mirrors behind her, quickly realising she wasn't alone. Samantha was stood in the doorway eyeing her with concern, her hands on her hips, and a frown on her face. "I'm not gonna insult you by asking if you're okay," she said, crossing her arms.

Donna smiled weakly, and shook her head. She moved to the nearest washbasin, and proceeded to rinse her mouth out and splash her face with water. Her face was still flushed both from the effort she had exerted retching, and the embarrassment that still lingered.

"Has he always been such a dick?" Samantha questioned.

Donna gave her a wry smile. "Pretty much, although recently he seems to have taken it to a whole new level," she murmured as she stared into the mirror, dismayed at the hollow face staring back at her.

"Hmmm, I guess he must have been on a course then, huh?" she joked.

Donna didn't respond to her attempt to lighten the mood, choosing to reapply her lipstick instead in an attempt to tidy up her now haggard appearance.

Samantha moved to stand by her, catching her eye in the mirror's reflection. "You know he doesn't speak for all of us, don't you, Donna? I know you and I have locked horns a few times—"

"You mean like when you went behind my back to Robert about your expense account?" Donna snapped, twisting her lipstick case shut and popping it in her bag. She turned to face Samantha, eyebrows raised.

Samantha stepped back slightly and pursed her lips.

"Fair comment, but please don't assume I did that because I don't respect you. I'm just… let's just say I'm used to working on my own and with free reign. I generally don't play well with others, and you tying my hands behind my back, pissed me the hell off," she reasoned. "...but you're right, I shouldn't have gone to Robert."

Donna smirked. "Is that an apology?" she asked as she picked up her bag to leave.

"I wouldn't go that far." The other woman rolled her eyes, and grinned back at Donna. She then reached out suddenly, and lightly touched Donna's arm. "I mean it, Donna, nobody in this firm thinks you don't deserve to be here. I may have only been here a short time, but it didn't take me long to realise that you are an invaluable asset to this firm. Clearly there is some kind of history between you and Harvey at play, that I am not party to…" Donna's eyes flashed up in warning, but Samantha continued "...but you need to remember that whatever diatribe comes out of his mouth, it has nothing to do with the way you work or your standing at this firm, and if you ask me, Harvey is fully aware of that too."

Donna nodded slowly as she studied Samantha for a moment. Despite their obvious rocky start, she felt a sudden rush of warmth towards the other woman. There was no doubt in her mind that her words were sincere, and Donna was deeply touched by the sentiment.

"Thank you, Samantha. I appreciate that." She nodded.

"Hey, you fancy knocking off early and grabbing a drink?" Samantha gave Donna a little nudge. "We could grab Gretchen and Katrina and have a proper girls' night out." She winked.

This time Donna rolled her eyes, but she accompanied it with a warm smile, "You don't know how tempting that is Samantha, but I think I need to call it a day today and go home. Maybe next time?"

"Okay...I'll hold you to that." Samamtha chuckled.

They both turned to leave the washroom, but as Samantha pulled the door open she stopped Donna once more. "You know you can talk to me anytime, Donna. I know how close you are to Rachel, and it must be difficult now that she is so far away, but that doesn't mean you don't have friends here too."

"I know Samantha. Thanks."

"Oh, and by the way, I'd appreciate it if you forwarded me any information you have on Clive Sivitter and Regency Fine Foods. I always like to be prepared!" Samantha grinned and gave another wink before the two women turned and went their separate ways.

There was no doubt about it, despite her weariness, Samatha's words had definitely made Donna feel a little better. She was going to call it a day, but not before grabbing some work to take home, determined she would have those forecasts done by Friday. As she swept out of her office, now armed with her laptop and the paperwork she needed, she noticed Harvey pacing up and down behind his desk, sans jacket, sleeves rolled up and nose buried deeply in a file.

Donna felt her temper flare at the sight of him. He seemed almost oblivious to the sheer pain he had caused her today. She was so done with his bullshit. She swung his door open, and marched right up to his desk, slamming his key down with as much force as she could muster.

"Here's your goddamn key!" she snapped.

Harvey looked up, clearly taken aback by her sudden appearance and hostile demeanour. She turned on her heel to leave but then hesitated, her anger and frustration getting the better of her. She swung back and marched right up to him.

"Let me be perfectly clear, Harvey. Don't you EVER talk to me like that again. I know that you're still angry with me, that you obviously have no respect for me anymore, but that doesn't justify the way you treated me in that meeting today. I have worked my ass off for this firm, and my talents, and the methods I use, have solved many a shitty situation for you in the past...and I never once saw you complain about it. How fucking DARE you belittle me like that. If you ever...EVER do anything like that to me again, I swear it will be the last thing you'll ever do."

With that, she turned and left, leaving Harvey stood open mouthed and shell shocked.

As she entered the elevator, and the doors slowly closed, she slumped back against the wall, her heart pounding mercilessly as the adrenaline pumped through her veins. She let her head fall back, and she closed her eyes, expelling a deep shuddering breath.

Yeah!... Her plan had definitely gone to shit!


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

By the time Donna had made it home, she'd decided that as her plan had already spectacularly failed, she might as well top the day off with a glass of wine after all.

As she kicked off her shoes, and slumped back into the sofa, wine in hand, she allowed herself to reflect on the day's events. The adrenaline had worn off by now, leaving her feeling drained and decidedly queasy. She felt herself flush as she recalled the partners' meeting, unable to prevent images of her colleagues' sympathetic expressions from flashing in her head. Her mind then naturally travelled to her encounter with Harvey, and she immediately felt her stomach drop and the now all too familiar feeling of helplessness.

She didn't regret what she'd said to him. Harvey's behaviour had been reprehensible. She'd merely called him out on it, like she'd done so many times before throughout the many years they had known each other.

That was the difference though. On all those previous occasions, she had been his best friend and confidante. Her sometimes harsh words and reality checks were always respected and accepted, even if not initially appreciated in the moment. This time it felt different. The months leading up to the showdown only reinforced the realisation.

They weren't really friends anymore, and it quite simply broke her heart.

As much as it pained her that her feelings for him were not reciprocated, she'd still hung onto the belief that they would always be friends. The sad fact that she was mistaken cut far too deep. She took another large gulp of wine, and tucked her knees under her chin, hugging herself in a vain attempt for some comfort.

It was as she drained her second glass of wine that she heard two soft knocks on her front door. Donna placed her empty glass on the coffee table and padded through her hallway, confused as to who might be calling on her. She certainly wasn't expecting anybody.

Opening her door, she was slightly taken aback to see a man she didn't immediately recognise standing awkwardly in front of her.

"Donna Paulsen. Hi!" He smiled a little sheepishly at her.

"Can I help you?" she asked cautiously.

The man's smile faltered a little. "You … don't remember me, do you?"

Donna frowned. She eyed the man up and down, taking him in. He was of average height and build with short dark curly hair. He was dressed smartly in a nicely tailored suit - Saville Row, she surmised. He had an easy air about him, but what really caught her attention, were his sparkling, icy blue eyes. It was those eyes that succeeded in jogging her memory. She crossed her arms, narrowing her gaze as she studied him.

"You're the guy that reckons he's a really good listener. If I remember correctly." She gave a little smirk.

"That's what they tell me." He grinned.

"Hmm, and what, pray, brings you to my door at…" She lifted her wrist to check her watch. "... 10pm in the evening?"

"Well, I would have been here earlier, but I've only just got home from work."

Donna quirked an eyebrow at him, the only prompt she was prepared to give him to indicate she was awaiting further elaboration. Still smiling, the man opened his arms in a friendly gesture.

"Okay, I was wondering if you might reconsider joining me for that drink."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Donna smiled.

"And why's that?"

"Well for starters, I know nothing about you. I don't even know your name, and I'm not in the habit of having drinks with complete strangers."

"We're not strangers. This is the second time we've met and I live downstairs," he quipped, his smile widening. "Besides, if you want to know more about me, an excellent way to do that would be to come out with me for a drink." He gave her a wink.

Donna gave a heavy sigh, and was about to give this now mildly irritating man his marching orders, when she hesitated. She could refuse his offer, return to her nearly empty bottle of wine, continue over analysing her shit day and ruined relationship with Harvey whilst also stressing out thinking about her pending weekend in Seattle.

Or, she could throw caution to the wind and spend a few hours with someone who knew nothing of her troubles, enabling her to escape her turmoil, if only for a short while.

"Okay." Donna nodded, uncrossing her arms. "One drink!" She held up a finger as clarification.

"Really?" The man's face brightened, his blue eyes twinkling.

"No, of course not… that's why I said 'okay.'" Donna rolled her eyes. "Just give me twenty minutes to get ready."

"Great," he readily agreed. "I'll meet you in the foyer downstairs." He paused and leaned closer towards her. "By the way… the name's Samuel." He gave her another wink, then stepped away.

They went to a quaint little bar just a block away from their apartment building. The conversation flowed easily between them and one drink soon turned into three. Samuel was indeed a good listener, and he was also refreshingly different from anyone she'd met before. He had a dry sense of humour, was not afraid to tease her, and seemed to laugh genuinely at her jokes. He was also quietly observant, intense but not intimidating, and didn't seem to have an ounce of arrogance to him. She liked him.

"So you haven't told me what you do for a living," she noted as she stirred her drink.

"You haven't asked."

Donna cocked an eyebrow.

"I handle security for a private equity firm," he said nonchalantly. "Doesn't sound too thrilling huh?" He smirked, clearly unfazed whether she was impressed or not.

"I don't know, I'm sure it has its moments." She grinned.

"It does, but it hardly makes for riveting conversation. I'd much rather us talk about you," he murmured.

"I've already told you about my job, my love of the theatre and my unhealthy obsession for Chunky Monkey ice cream. What more could you possibly want to know?" Donna asked with mock seriousness.

Samuel pursed his lips. "I'd like to know why you were so upset last night."

Donna's face instantly fell. Samuel seemed to immediately pick up on the change of mood. "I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business. You don't have to tell me anything. It's just that you looked so … I don't know, like you were in a lot of pain, and I…"

Donna's eyes shot a warning "You what, Samuel? You thought you'd swoop in like a knight in shining armour, save the damsel in distress, solve all her problems and then take her home for the night?" Donna challenged, her eyebrows raised.

Samuel lifted his hands in defense. "Hey, I'm sorry. I was just concerned for you okay? I'm not trying to pry, and despite what you might think, my intention last night was not to take advantage of you. I just think that sometimes if you share with someone what's troubling you, it can help," he paused, eyeing her warily. "But like I said, it's none of my business and I don't want to spoil what's been a really nice evening, so how about we change the subject. You could tell me your favourite Harry Potter movie. Mine's 'The Prisoner of Azkaban'." He gave a small smile.

Donna cocked her head to one side, a smile playing at her lips.

"What? It's a classic. The plot devices are exemplary!" he exclaimed.

Donna giggled, her anger dissipated. "It's a good call, but at the risk of sounding controversial, I personally prefer 'The Deathly Hallows'..." she leaned towards him "...part one."

"Ooh, that is controversial. Let me guess, you loved the animation scene in the middle." He leant closer.

"No, I loved Hermione being the leader, keeping those boys under control when they were on the run and generally kicking ass!" She smirked, whilst taking another sip of her drink.

Samuel nodded with a laugh. "I can't argue with that"

Donna chuckled too, and sat back a little, a silence fell between them.

"Would you be disappointed in me if I told you that my story is a simple cliche of 'girl is in love with her best friend and he doesn't love her back,'" she all but whispered.

Samuel looked up in surprise. His face softened as he regarded her. "Are you sure he doesn't feel the same way?" he asked softly.

Donna gave a gentle snort. "Well, he's fucking his ex-therapist, and she's now practically moved in with him from what I can gather, so…" She trailed off as she took another sip of her drink.

"Well, that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't have feelings for you. Have you told him how you feel about him?" he asked carefully.

"Oh, I went one better than that. I kissed him, and to say the shit then hit the proverbial fan as a result, has to be the understatement of the year," she said bitterly.

"Why?"

Donna sighed, closing her eyes momentarily. She looked back at Samuel and gave him a sad smile. "He's angry with me. I mean _really_ angry with me. We've been friends for many years and I not only crossed a line, but I did so whilst he was seeing someone. Now, our friendship has taken the hit. I was upset the other night, because as well as having to watch him be with another woman, I've also lost my best friend," she said with tears in her eyes.

Samuel didn't respond, but nodded slowly in understanding.

"And to make matters worse, our mutual best friends are getting married this weekend. So I have to go to that, minus a plus one, with my happy, 'isn't true love amazing' face and smile all day whilst I watch him...be with her." She wiped a stray tear from her cheek, then looked back at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, Samuel. I'm bringing a real downer to our evening, aren't I?" she sniffed.

"Hey, don't apologise. I pushed you to tell me, and I'm glad you did," he reassured her.

"Really?" Donna lifted a sceptical eyebrow.

"Yes, really! And if you ask me, this guy sounds like an idiot. I would guess that he probably does have similar feelings for you, or he wouldn't be as angry as you say he is...and well, if I'm wrong about that, let's just say he doesn't know what he's missing!"

Donna barked out a bitter laugh at his words.

"What?" Samuel looked surprised at her response.

"Lets just say, you're not the first person to say that to me," she murmured.

"Someone else has excellent insight like me?" he asked with tilt of his head.

"Yup.. the ex fucking therapist!"

Samuel's mouth fell open. "Shit!"

Donna nodded her head in confirmation. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, until they both simultaneously burst out laughing.

"You're right, Samuel" Donna said, still giggling. "I do feel a little better, thank you."

"Anytime. Hey, why don't you just not go to the wedding? Fake a sick day!" he suggested.

"Not an option I'm afraid. Aside from the fact that the bride and groom are two of my closest friends that I love dearly, I'm also the maid of honour," she sighed heavily.

"Okay. Is there any chance this guy won't go? I mean if he's that angry with you, maybe he'll pull a sickie instead," Samuel suggested.

"He's the best man!" Donna said matter of factly.

"Christ Almighty! Okay, I concede defeat," Samuel chuckled. "You have yourself a pretty shit situation, and I'm all out of ideas." He drained his drink. "You want another? For the road?" He pointed to her glass.

Donna shook her head. "No thanks. I think I've had more than enough. I should probably head back if that's okay. I've got a long day tomorrow. I'm flying out to Seattle for the wedding on Friday, so that just leaves me tomorrow to finish off a ton of work before I go." She picked up her purse, and slid off the bar stool.

"No problem. It is late, we should get going." He helped her into her coat, and they made their way outside.

They walked slowly back, chatting about nothing of any consequence. Donna felt the most relaxed she'd been in months. The evening had gone better than she could have hoped. Not only had she been successfully diverted from a certain pit of despair, she'd actually enjoyed her evening. Samuel had been so easy to talk to and she found him to be strangely comforting. It was like he'd been a cushion to her emotions, a buffer to her pain. It was as they approached their apartment building, and Donna pondered her evening, that she was taken by a sudden wild notion.

"Would you come with me? To the wedding?" she blurted out.

Samuel stopped dead in his tracks, and looked at her wide-eyed.

"What?"

"You could be my plus one," she continued.

"Err..Donna, I —"

"Oh God, I'm sorry," she gasped. "That's ridiculous, isn't it? Please forget I said that. I've clearly had too much to drink. Don't—"

"Okay," he interrupted. "I'll come," he said quickly.

This time it was Donna who looked dumbfounded. They both stood staring at each other for a moment, not knowing what to say.

"You sure?" Donna finally stammered.

"Yeah, why not. I've got nothing planned this weekend and I've never been to Seattle, so that'll be fun. Besides, now you've told me all about this guy and his ex therapist harpee, I have to see them for myself don't I?" he smirked.

Donna laughed but then shook her head. "This is silly. We've only just met. You won't know anyone, you'll be bored to tears!"

"I'll know you," he replied gently. He stepped closer to her and took her hand, dipping his head to catch her gaze. "Look, it might seem silly, but it sounds to me like you could do with a bit of moral support this weekend, and I'm more than happy to offer my services. We'd go as friends —"

"That's not how it would look," Donna interjected.

"Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing," Samuel shrugged. "From what you've told me, I reckon this guy could do with a serious kick up the ass in the form of a nice old fashioned dose of jealousy!"

"That's not why I asked you." Donna whipped her hand back, looking shocked.

"No? Then why did you ask me?" Samuel shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I…" Donna opened then closed her mouth. Why did she ask him? She might not have thought it through when she blurted out her suggestion, but the desire for him to accompany her had clearly come from somewhere. Did she just want a bit of moral support like Samuel had proposed, or did her request come from somewhere darker and more primal. Did she want to make Harvey jealous?

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Donna sighed. Her head felt fuzzy, probably due to the number of drinks she'd imbibed, but it had also been a hell of a day and she was now very tired.

Samuel seemed to sense her fatigue, as he stepped nearer to her and lightly touched her arm.

"Listen, why don't we call it a night? It's clear you've had a really tough day. Why don't you sleep on it, see how you feel in the morning. My offer stands, no strings attached. Here's my number…" He retrieved a business card from inside his coat pocket and handed it across to her. "All I ask is that if you decide you'd like me to come, let me know as soon as possible, as I'll have to sort flights and a hotel."

Donna took the card and looked back at him as she bit her lip. "Okay, thanks Samuel."

He nodded and stepped back, pulling the door to their building open, allowing her to pass through before him.

"Well, I'm just down this hall, so I'll say goodnight. I'll hopefully speak to you tomorrow." He gave her a smile, and leant in for a hug. Donna reciprocated, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before pulling away.

"Thank you, Samuel, for a lovely night. It was just what I needed." She said sincerely.

"Anytime, Donna. Good night." With that he stepped away, and Donna turned towards the elevator, her mind buzzing with a myriad of thoughts.

As she climbed into bed later that night, she'd convinced herself that taking Samuel to the wedding would be a bad idea. There was no doubt that she'd spent a lovely evening with him, thoroughly enjoying his company. However she still hardly knew him, and trying to explain who he was to her closest friends would be problematic to say the least, and if they found out how long she'd known him, it would probably just smack of desperation.

No, as much as she was dreading the weekend, she knew she had to go solo and just deal with it - roll with the punches as they came flying her way, which they undoubtedly would.

She awoke early the next morning, still feeling tired and once again more than a little hungover. Thoughts of Samuel and his offer lingered in her head, as she showered, dressed and made her way to work. Except he didn't really offer. She asked, she reminded herself grimly. She was the one that came up with the idea and put it out there. She was still shaking her head to herself as she marched into her office, immediately noticing that it wasn't empty. Louis was sat at her desk waiting patiently.

"Morning Louis," she said brightly, determined this day was going to go better than the last.

"Donna!" Louis stood, he bowed giving her a little flurry with his hand, "Have I thought long to see this morning's face, and doth it give me such a sight as this?"

"Louis—"

"I have heard the cock, that is the trumpet to the morn.'"

"Louis, enough! As much as I enjoy trading Shakespeare quotes with you, I really have a ton of work to do today," she said calmly but firmly.

Louis gave a quick nod and sat back down. "I won't keep you long I promise, I just wanted to apologise for yesterday," he said nervously.

Donna sat down opposite him and pursed her lips. "Louis, it's okay."

"No, Donna, I was out of line. You'd made it perfectly clear that I shouldn't fight your battles for you and I did my usual thing and lost my temper." He looked forlorn.

"Louis, I said it's okay. Harvey was the one out of line. You shouldn't have reacted the way you did, no, but I know that you meant well," she placated.

"I just can't stand it anymore, Donna. He took it to a whole new level yesterday, and when I saw you so upset, I just snapped." Louis looked tearily at her.

"I know Louis, and I spoke to Harvey about it later that day and told him he was out of order," she said with a sigh.

"You did?" he said with genuine surprise.

"I did! So I don't want you worrying about us anymore."

"Are you two okay now?" he asked hopefully.

Donna's shoulders slumped. "I wouldn't say that, Louis, but I'm confident things will be better." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Now, If there's nothing else, I really do need to crack on with this workload, especially if I stand any chance of making it to Seattle tomorrow." She gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Of course, Donna, I won't keep you any longer." At that Louis stood, and promptly left her office.

Donna leant forward on her desk, her head in her hands. The whole situation was taking its toll on her, without a doubt. The constant fatigue, not helped by her reliance on alcohol to get her through the days and nights, was draining her. She needed to clear her mind so that she could focus on her work. She lifted her head and took a deep breath, picking up the first file from her desk that needed attention. As she opened it, she heard a knock on the glass door. She looked up, and her face instantly drained of colour.

Paula.

Donna felt her stomach flip. With the exception of Harvey, this woman was the very last person she wanted to see. There was just something about Paula that totally got under her skin. If asked outright what it was, Donna wouldn't have a problem lying to herself that it was simply because they had too much in common. They both could read people with ease, interpret the feelings of others and offer sound advice. She could quite easily claim that she found it difficult to have discourse with someone that possessed the same skill set as her, and in part this was true. Paula unnerved her. Whilst Donna quite happily studied and analysed others, she did so in the safe knowledge that her own feelings and thoughts were well hidden. Her friends and family were not as gifted in this area and coupled with her acting skills, Donna was confident her own feelings were very much concealed.

However, if she was honest with herself, the real reason Paula bothered her so much, was that she totally felt threatened by her. Paula not only offered Harvey all the talents that Donna had provided him with, but she also seemed to have gained access to his heart. Something that had remained elusive to her. Then, to add salt into the wounds, both women were fully aware of how Donna felt about Harvey. A fact that she found mortifying. She rued the day she had gone, on Jessica's behalf, to Paula's office in search of him. She had unwittingly disclosed her deepest thoughts and feelings to the woman who now held power over the man she loved.

"Paula!" she almost choked out. "Can I help you?"

Paula stepped further into Donna's office. She tucked her blonde hair behind her ear and graced Donna with a less than genuine smile.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Donna, I can see that you are busy. I was just hoping you might know where Harvey is?"

Donna eyed Paula skeptically. She was pretty sure this wasn't the real reason for her impromptu visit. Regardless, she decided to play along.

"I'm sorry, Paula, I haven't seen him this morning. You don't need him urgently, do you?" she kept her tone as even and professional as possible, desperate not to betray how she was feeling.

"No, nothing urgent," she replied. "Harvey left his cell phone at home, and I figured he would need it today," she said whilst staring Donna straight in the eye.

Donna felt her throat constrict at the obvious inference Paula had made, but resisted the urge to swallow, well aware that it would not go unnoticed by the other woman.

"Well, he's probably in a meeting. You should probably just leave it on his desk for him, I'm sure he will be back later this morning." Donna gave her best beaming smile, knowing full well that Paula would see straight through her pleasantries.

"Yes of course," Paula responded as her fingers visibly tightened around the shoulder straps of her bag. "I'll do that." She turned to leave, but then stepped back towards Donna's desk.

"I understand Robert has chartered a flight tomorrow morning for us all … for the wedding." she said, eyeing Donna intently. "I suppose I'll see you there?" she asked far too casually.

Donna rolled her tongue across her teeth in an effort to compose herself, the real reason for Paula's visit now apparent.

"He has yes, Paula. However, I have to work in the morning, so I'm taking a scheduled flight in the afternoon. So I guess I won't see you until Saturday." She raised her eyebrows, almost in defiance.

"Oh, well, make sure you don't work too hard. We wouldn't want the maid of honour to miss her flight." She gave a small chuckle. "I'll see you Saturday then."

With that she was gone.

Donna closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. She took a deep breath and swivelled around in her chair, facing the window as she gazed out onto a New York bathed in morning sunlight. Without thinking, she reached for her handbag and retrieved the card she had placed there that morning. She turned it over in her fingers, her heart racing. She ran her fingers across the embossed typeface.

' _Samuel Lang - CSO_

_Xifaris Capital Management_

_202-555-0113_

Still on auto-pilot, she retrieved her phone and dialled the number. It went straight to voicemail.

"Samuel! Hi, it's Donna. I'm just ringing to say that I've slept on it, and if you're still game, I'd like you to be my plus one! Call me back on this number and let me know… oh and don't worry about the flight and hotel. I'll sort it." She promptly hung up and threw her phone on the desk.

Fuck it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The wedding has arrived!
> 
> Quick thank you to my amazing beta's AlternateShadesofBlue (Twitter: ashadesofblue) and Kate McK (Twitter: KateMcK7), I wouldn't dare publish anything without their help.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. If you do, please feel free to leave a review, your comments are always very much appreciated.

* * *

Donna awoke early on the morning of the wedding.

She stretched her arms and yawned, wincing as the dawn light streamed through her hotel window. She was tired, but at least she wasn't hungover for a change. She'd only had a couple of drinks on the flight yesterday, reducing her current rate of sauvignon blanc consumption noticeably.

She hadn't found it easy though. The temptation to numb the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach with alcohol had been considerable. However, she'd resisted, wanting to be fresh faced and clear headed for the day ahead.

God, the day ahead. To say she had mixed feelings about it would have to be the understatement of the century.

Without doubt she was beyond excited at the prospect of seeing Rachel. She hadn't checked in to her hotel until late evening the night before, and had only managed to talk briefly to her friend over the phone. Donna had assured her that she had arrived safely and she'd also taken the opportunity to give her a heads up that she did indeed have a plus one. Rachel predictably reacted with excitement, demanding to know the details of this mystery man. But Donna had managed to defer that particular conversation for the time being. She hadn't had the energy last night, and quite frankly, she still hadn't made up her mind how she was going to explain Samuel.

Samuel. His flight was due in that morning, and they'd agreed to meet briefly in the hotel lobby an hour before the ceremony. He had called her back quite quickly after she'd left her message, clearly happy that she had made the decision to invite him. She really wasn't sure that she had done the right thing with regards to Samuel, more than aware she'd asked him as a result of a knee jerk reaction to seeing Paula. Her gut was telling her that it was a weak move on her part, a poor decision. It was done though, and she just needed to make the best of it.

Fundamentally, what was bothering her the most was the fact she would be spending pretty much the whole day in the company of Harvey Specter and his irritating British girlfriend.

She hadn't seen Harvey at all since the encounter in his office, when she'd returned his key. Donna wasn't sure who was dodging whom, but it was probably a bit of both. She simply found it too painful to cross paths with him at the moment. A constant reminder of all that she had lost. For Harvey, she was pretty sure that he'd reverted to avoidance and giving her the silent treatment, his preferred method of dealing with confrontation when he knew he was in the wrong, but was being stubborn about it. Regardless, their respective roles of best man and maid of honour meant that their successful avoidance of each would be coming to an end today.

If seeing Harvey with Paula wasn't bad enough, she was also dreading just being in the woman's company, period! Whenever they'd met in the past, she'd always felt as though they were constantly studying and analysing each other. Weighing each other up, picking up on nuances, reading each other's body language. Basically, deciphering every thought and emotion that was not being voiced. She was already stressed about the fact that Paula would see straight through her. Worried that her feelings for Harvey would be painfully, and humiliatingly apparent. Now Donna had the double whammy of being scrutinized with Samuel in tow, and she was sure Paula would see straight through her facade.

Finally, if all of this drama wasn't enough to make her wish the day away instead of savouring every moment with her two dearly loved friends, she was also now a little worried about her father.

On arriving at her hotel the night before, she had dutifully called her dad to assure him that she'd arrived safely, as promised. He hadn't answered, so she'd left a message. Three subsequent calls later that night, and she still hadn't managed to speak to him. Logically, Donna knew there really was nothing to be concerned with. Her dad had probably forgotten that he'd asked her to call and was just busy with his latest project. However, she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that something was amiss. Their last conversation on the phone had been niggling at her, and now that she was struggling to get in contact with him, she was becoming more concerned.

It _was_ just a feeling though. So, for the time being, she needed to shelve her worries and get herself showered and dressed. Rachel was expecting her in an hour and she was determined not to be late. It had already been too long since she'd seen her friend. She would try to call her father again later this morning at a more reasonable hour.

She got ready in good time and made her way to Rachel's suite, knocking on her door with building excitement.

The door swung open and Donna was met with a piercing squeal, followed by two slender arms thrown around her frame.

"Oh my GOD! Donna!" Rachel yelled whilst still hugging Donna in a vice like grip. "It is so good to see you."

Donna pulled back to look at her friend, a smile on her face and a tear in her eye. "You too, Rachel. You have no idea how much I've missed you," she said with earnest.

"You and me both. Come in, come in," Rachel beckoned Donna inside.

Donna followed her into the suite, and placed her bag on a nearby table. She felt herself relax a little as Rachel babbled incessantly about everything from what time the hairdressers were due to arrive, the nightmare she'd had with the wedding florist, her dad's grumblings about the nouveau cuisine menu to her worries about the live band that Mike had organised.

"It was the one thing I allowed him to arrange, and now I'm wondering if we're going to have our first dance moshing to thrash metal," Rachel said with a chuckle.

Donna's stomach dropped at the thought of first dances. She knew it would be expected that as maid of honour, she should dance with the best man. Just the thought of how awkward that was likely to be made her nauseous. Rachel seemed to instantly pick up on her change in demeanor.

"Hey, are you okay?" Rachel reached out and touched her shoulder.

Donna gave her a beaming smile, determined not to spoil Rachel's buoyant mood. "Yeah, of course, Rach. I'm just wondering why you don't have a glass of champagne in your hand already. Have I taught you nothing?"

Rachel cocked an eyebrow. "Firstly, it's only 7am for Chrissake. Secondly, don't bullshit me, Donna. I mentioned Mike and the band and it's like I'd told you someone had died. What's wrong?... And don't even think of telling me 'you're fine' because I'm not buying it."

Donna gave a heavy sigh and plonked herself down on the end of the bed. She pursed her lips as she looked up at her friend.

"It's not Mike or the band, Rachel," she hesitated, well aware they were now at the point where they would be addressing the elephant in the room. "It's the thought of your first dance. We all know who is supposed to follow the bride and groom onto the dance floor." Donna looked down, twisting her fingers in her lap.

"Are things still that bad between you?" Rachel asked in surprise.

"Worse! We don't speak most of the time, and when we do, he's just so hostile," Donna said sadly.

"Is this still because of the kiss, or has something else happened?" Rachel asked with a frown.

"Nothing else has happened, but despite my apologies and assurances that it will never happen again, he's not forgiven me. He's withdrawn himself from my life. At best he treats me like I'm his enemy, at worst, like I'm a stranger." Donna felt her eyes water. Saying the words out loud to her friend, only seemed to compound the gravity of the situation.

Rachel shook her head in disbelief, then seeing her friend's distress, she sat down next to her, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm so sorry, Donna. I didn't realise the situation had gotten so bad. Do you want me to ask Mike to talk to him?" she asked gently.

"Absolutely not!" Donna scoffed. "I have enough trouble trying to prevent Louis from fighting my battles for me, I don't want Mike wading in too."

"Louis knows then?"

"Everyone knows things are bad between us, it's hard not to notice. The atmosphere at work is toxic. Nobody knows the reason why, though," Donna answered with a shake of her head.

"Why haven't you talked to anyone there, Donna? You can't bottle this up and keep it to yourself. It's not good for you" Rachel had now draped her arm around Donna's shoulder.

"I don't want anyone knowing," she whispered.

"Why not? You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I have EVERYTHING to be ashamed of." Donna looked up at Rachel incredulously. "All of this is my fault. I kissed him whilst he was in a relationship, which is possibly one of the worst things I could have done. I knew how he felt about infidelity, but I did it anyway. I'm so angry with myself for putting him in the position of lying to Paula, for jeopardizing our friendship. A friendship that means everything to me. I ruined everything we had, twelve years just wiped away because of one stupid...stupid...mistake…" Donna broke down in tears, her shoulders shaking.

Rachel slid off the bed and knelt in front of Donna, taking both her hands into her own.

"Donna, look at me," she said softly. Donna slowly looked up, and met Rachel's eyes, which were full of warmth and affection, but also a steely resolve.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully okay?"

Donna nodded, and swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"You made a mistake, yes. You shouldn't have kissed him, no. I'll agree with you on those two points alone, but nothing else. You are in love with him, Donna—"

"That's not—" Donna stuttered, her eyes wide in shock.

"Don't interrupt me Donna Paulsen. I told you to listen. You are in love with him, and probably have been for a very long time. And when you are in love, your heart takes over from your brain and you're more likely to do reckless things, make rash decisions. I don't think you were thinking with your head that night. Not only were you were reeling from the whole Malik situation, you'd had both Louis and Mike talking to you about matters of the heart. You acted on impulse. You may be a superwoman, Donna, but you are still human, and that means it's okay to make mistakes once in a while."

Donna sniffed, but shook her head as she looked away.

"You apologised to him," Rachel continued, "more than once. You promised him, you wouldn't do it again...more than once. You did NOT put him in the position of lying to Paula at all. If he didn't invite that kiss, then why hasn't he told her about it? That's on him, not you. You can't hold yourself responsible for every decision he makes in his personal life. If he is still treating you this badly, a whole two months later, then he is the one at fault, not you. Because if he can't forgive you for that one impulsive moment, after twelve years of loyalty and dedication, then he's not worthy of your friendship, Donna."

Donna whipped her head back to see the sincerity of Rachel's words in her eyes. She gave a heavy sigh. She released her hands from Rachel's gentle hold, and reached forward to embrace her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Rachel," she whispered, her cheeks still moist with tears. "I know you're not wrong, and I know he's certainly not blameless in any of this, I just… I just really, really miss him." She choked on the last few words, feeling overcome with sorrow.

"I know you do, Donna. But do you know what? If he's half the man you've always believed him to be, he will come back to you, I'm certain of it." Rachel tucked a loose strand of Donna's hair behind her ear and gave her a smile.

"I'm not so sure, Rach. He's so cold and distant, I feel like I hardly know him anymore," she said sadly.

"Bullshit! You know him better than anyone. You just need to have a little faith. And in the meantime, you need to try and lighten up and have some fun today. Which brings me to 'mystery man'," Rachel grinned.

Donna rolled her eyes, but smiled back at Rachel. "I can't believe it's taken you this long to ask me about him," she remarked.

"I was trying to show restraint! But now I want details. Spill the beans, Paulsen!"

"Okay, but if you want details, I need that glass of champagne. I don't care how early it is. Besides, you want me to have some fun today, we need to start celebrating, and there's no time like the present!" she beamed.

"Deal!" Rachel nodded, and swiftly moved to the dresser table, where a bottle of champagne was already chilling in an ice bucket.

Donna filled Rachel in on everything that had happened with Samuel. She'd initially been hesitant regarding how much she should reveal about who he was and her impulsive decision to invite him. But after their conversation concerning Harvey, she realised that if she couldn't trust Rachel with her fears and insecurities then she really was a lost cause.

Rachel listened patiently to every word, responding regularly with verbal nods and smiles. When Donna finished, Rachel paused for a second before commenting.

"You know what? I think Samuel's right. You need a bit of moral support today, and he's pretty much aware of your situation, which will help... and if you being with him bothers Harvey, then that's an added bonus!" she said, draining her glass.

"I'm sure Paula would be thrilled to hear you say that," Donna snorted.

"Oh Paula Schmaula!" Rachel shrugged.

"Rachel Elizabeth Zane! That is not like you at all," Donna mock gasped.

"I'm not sorry. I find it really hard to warm to the woman, and not just because of my loyalty to you - although of course that's a major influence. I just think the fact that she used to be his therapist is well...it's a bit icky, don't you think?" Rachel asked, scrunching up her nose in disgust.

"Icky is not the word I'd use, but yes, I agree."

"Anyway, if you being with Samuel provokes Harvey in any way today, it might at least break this current situation between the two of you, because something needs to change, and this might just do the trick. That man needs to see exactly what he's missing," Rachel said with confidence, chin in the air in defiance.

"I appreciate the sentiment, Rachel. However, I really do think he only has eyes for her, and I doubt that having Samuel around today will make any difference," Donna said with a shake of her head.

"If you really believed that Donna, you wouldn't have invited Samuel at all. You're not being honest with yourself. Deep down you know that he loves you too. It's the only explanation for why he's treating you so appallingly."

"That makes no sense, Rachel," Donna frowned.

"Yes it does, and you know it." Rachel clearly wasn't phased by Donna's attempt at feigning ignorance of the situation. Before Donna could rebuff her friend though, they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Rachel leapt off the bed and clapped her hands in glee.

"That'll be the hairdressers. Oh my God, this is really happening isn't it?" she said, eyes wide with obvious excitement.

"It really is, sweetie. So go get the door, and let's get this show on the road," Donna answered with a beaming smile.

They spent the next few hours being preened and pampered in what seemed like a whirlwind of stylists, nail technicians and beauty therapists. The room was buzzing with excitement, and the mood was joyful and full of laughter. Rachel's mom had arrived, and the three of them chatted and giggled about anything and everything.

Late into the morning, Donna had temporarily excused herself and had made her way down to the hotel lobby so that she could meet with Samuel and let him know the plan for the day and tell him where he needed to be and when. In doing so, she was a little anxious that she would run into Harvey and Paula, but thankfully they were nowhere to be seen.

Samuel had greeted her with a wide smile, and despite not knowing anyone other than Donna and having to spend most of the ceremony and reception on his own, he seemed pretty calm and relaxed. He assured her he was fine with it and told her to try and enjoy the day, and he would catch up with her after the ceremony.

On her way back to Rachel's suite, she tried to call her father once more. Again, his phone went straight to voicemail. She left him another message asking him to call her. The uneasy feeling in her gut had returned, but as she entered the suite, her breath was taken away as she caught sight of Rachel.

She was standing in front of a full length mirror, looking simply stunning in a Versailles voluminous wedding gown. The dress was exquisite, with a deep V neck, intricate floral beading and a simple pop of colour by way of a black ribbon belt. She looked beautiful. Robert stood next to her, tears in his eyes and looking as proud as any father could be.

"Rachel," Donna gasped. "Oh my god, you look simply stunning. Mike is going to be blown away." She crossed the room and stood next to Rachel, smiling at her in the mirror. She caught Robert's eye in the reflection.

He wiped a stray tear with the back of his hand. "Hey Donna! Isn't my princess a sight for sore eyes?" he croaked.

"She sure is Robert. You're looking mighty fine too, if I you don't mind me saying," she commented with a warm smile.

"Now why would I mind you saying that? A man can never tire of being complimented by a beautiful woman." He winked.

"Anytime Robert." Donna glanced around the room, noticing that Laura had already left. "How long do we have?"

"We should make our way down in about twenty minutes," Robert answered, looking at his watch.

"I'd best go get changed then if it's almost time." Donna gave Rachel another reassuring hug, then left father and daughter alone, whilst she stepped into the bathroom and slipped into her bridesmaid dress. It was an elegant black number, simple and understated from the front, but open at the back with just a few thin straps that criss crossed across her lower back. It was sexy, but classy and chic. Her hair had been styled into soft curls, left down but swept over one shoulder. She glanced at herself in the mirror. She knew she looked good, her armour was on. She was as ready as she was ever going to be.

As the music started and the moment came for her to step inside the terrace room where the ceremony was to take place, Donna took a deep breath. The doors opened, and she began her slow procession down the aisle.

The room was filled with both familiar and unfamiliar faces, as all the guests stood to welcome the bridal party. Donna focused on the podium at the front where the celebrant stood waiting with a beaming smile. She allowed the sea of faces to blur together, so as not to distract her from her mission to get to the front still calm and collected. But, it was as she took the final few steps, and she heard the gentle sighs from the congregation as Rachel had clearly entered the room behind her, that she spotted him.

He was looking at her, directly.

Despite her mental preparations, the sight of him literally took her breath away. So much so, that she had to look away immediately. His deep brown eyes were studying her so intensely that it felt like they were boring into her soul.

She took her place, and fixed her gaze on the beautiful floral arrangement of hypnose roses and astrantia bulbs that were placed either side of the podium. She never wavered throughout the entire ceremony. She heard the celebrant address the congregation, listened to Mike and Rachel's heartfelt vows to each other and heard the rapturous applause as the bride and groom kissed. It was as they turned to face the room and make their way back up the aisle, that her stomach flipped at the realisation that she could no longer avoid Harvey Specter.

Clutching her bouquet tightly in her right hand, she slowly lifted her gaze. Harvey was still staring at her intently, his face for once, unreadable. He stepped towards her, and without breaking eye contact, he held his arm out for her to take. With a slight tremble, she dutifully took it as they turned to follow the bride and groom. They slowly walked back towards the open doors at the end of the room, both turned away from each other as they acknowledged the guests either side of the aisle with a nod and a smile. As they stepped out into the foyer, Donna paused, removing her arm from Harvey's elbow. Her heart was pounding and she was well aware her face was flushed. She briefly closed her eyes, willing someone to rescue her from this crucifying situation.

"Here…" She heard Harvey's deep baritone, and she glanced up. He was holding out a glass of champagne in her direction. "You look like you could do with this," he quipped, eyebrow quirked.

She hesitated, but then took the glass from him. "Thanks," she whispered. He nodded, then turned away from her to congratulate Mike.

She took a swig of her champagne and then held out her arms to Rachel, who spun into her embrace with another squeal. "We did it, Donna. No more Michelle Ross, I am now officially Rachel Ross!" she laughed, pure happiness and joy emanating from her.

"I am so happy for you, Rachel. Congratulations, Mrs Ross!" she said as she embraced her friend.

"Hey, when do I get a hug?" Mike interrupted.

Donna gave him a beaming smile. "Right the hell now!" Donna laughed.

Mike stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Donna. "It's been too long, Donna, we've missed you. I'm so glad you are here to share this with us," he whispered into her ear before gently releasing her from his embrace.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Mike," Donna said sincerely.

They were soon surrounded by the rest of the congregation as everyone else filed out of the terrace room. Donna felt a hand gently placed on her back and she turned to see Samuel, beaming down at her.

"Hey, how you holding up?" he asked, as he casually let his hand slide round to her waist.

"Hi, Samuel. I'm okay," she answered softly.

"Good. You look beautiful by the way," he murmured in her ear. Donna's breath hitched at his close proximity.

"Thank you," she responded, a little shakily.

"So that's him then?" Samuel beckoned discreetly towards Harvey, who had now been joined by Paula. She was chatting animatedly to him, but his eyes were locked firmly in their direction.

"That's him," Donna confirmed.

"...and I assume that's the ex therapist harpee currently chewing his ear off," he added with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Donna nodded with a little smirk. "You would assume correctly."

"Hmm, well as it's quite apparent he's not listening to a word she's saying due to the fact that his attention appears to be taken elsewhere. What do you say we give him something even more interesting to ogle at?" he suggested, clearly enjoying himself.

"What?" Donna frowned, slightly alarmed.

"Just trust me and go with it," he answered nonchalantly.

"I—" Before Donna could respond, Samuel had cupped her cheek with his other hand, and leaning in, softly brushed his lips against hers. It wasn't a heated kiss at all. It was so brief and tender that it could comfortably be viewed as just a friendly peck. However, it was also subtly intimate enough to be easily misconstrued as something more.

Samuel released Donna from his hold, but not before casually running his forefinger through a lock of her hair that was resting on her collarbone.

"I'd better go check the seating plan," he said with a grin. "I'll see you after the meal." He gave her a wink and left her standing slightly shell-shocked, as the remaining guests filed past her into the ballroom.

All the guests except Harvey, who was still rooted to the spot, rigid and wide eyed. She locked eyes with him momentarily, neither of them making a move to leave, until Paula called Harvey to her side. Her crisp voice breaking through the hushed tones of the now nearly empty foyer. The brief spell broken, he quickly glanced back to his girlfriend, and instantly accorded her his custom smile.

Donna turned away from them, composing herself for a few seconds. She placed the half empty champagne glass, that Harvey had given her, onto a nearby table. She took a deep breath and then made her way to the ballroom, to face the next challenge of the day.

The meal went smoothly. The food was exquisite, which was of little surprise to everyone in the room who knew Rachel's predilection for fine food. Even Robert cleared each course with relish despite his initial misgivings. Donna was seated between Mike and Louis, which led to easy and enjoyable conversation with her two dear friends. Louis was excitable, clearly relishing his role as groomsman. He chatted and giggled with her throughout the meal. She was grateful that she could have a proper catch up with Mike, who happily filled her in on how much he and Rachel were enjoying working in their new Seattle clinic. It wasn't until after the cutting of their wedding cake, and dessert was served, that he finally broached the topic of his best man with her.

"Rachel tells me that the situation between you and Harvey has gotten pretty bad," he said, his piercing blue eyes conveying nothing but understanding.

"Things aren't great with us, no," she mumbled, taking a sip of her wine.

"He's an idiot you know," Mike said with a wry smile.

Donna smiled weakly back at him but chose to say nothing, hoping Mike would get the hint and change the subject.

"I am sorry Donna, for my part in this mess. I shouldn't have said anything to you that night, especially after everything that had happened that week."

Donna waved her hand dismissively. "Don't apologise Mike. You told me to talk to him not kiss him, that was all me," she whispered sadly.

"So despite what you said to me that night, I was right. You do have feelings for him."

"I needed to know, Mike," she said with a shrug. "...and I think looking back, I wanted him to know too." She took another sip of wine, hoping it might soften the lump that had once again formed in her throat.

"So, dare I ask, is that the reason Mister tall dark and handsome is here then?" Mike nodded towards Samuel, who was sat engaged in what appeared to be a riveting conversation with Samantha and Katrina.

"God, am I that obvious?" Donna's shoulders dropped. "I look pathetically desperate, don't I?"

"No, Donna. You could never look pathetic or desperate. What you look like, is someone who is trying to move on with her life. My guess, is that very notion might just remind Harvey of where his true feelings lie." Mike had taken her hand on the table, and given it a light squeeze.

"That's a nice idea, Mike, but I think it's very plain to see where Harvey's heart lies," she said dejectedly.

"You're right, Donna," he agreed, picking up his glass and clinking it with hers. "I think from the way he was staring at the two of you in the foyer earlier, it was obvious to everyone exactly where Harvey's heart lies."

Donna stared at Mike, slightly dumbfounded. He gave her a little wink but then turned back towards his bride. She shook her head a little to clear her thoughts and looked up, casting her eyes around the ballroom for the first time since they had sat down.

Most of her ZSL family sat around the table nearest to the bridal party. She observed them for a moment, smiling as she noticed Alex, Katrina and Samantha in fits of laughter at something Gretchen had said. Sheila seemed to be trying to engage in conversation with a rather petrified looking Harold, his eyes out on stalks in response to whatever she had said to him. Benjamin was nervously sipping what looked like a lemonade, whilst twiddling with the corners of his napkin. Then her eyes fell to the two remaining guests sat at the same table, and her mouth went dry. Samuel was having what appeared to be a tete a tete with none other than Paula.

Harvey's girlfriend was smiling, nodding and without doubt putting on a good show of polite friendly grace. However, Donna was observant enough to know that Paula was more than a little uncomfortable. She noticed the excessive blinking, the rigid jaw, and the constant shuffling in her seat. Samuel on the other hand was all sparkly blue eyes, open body language, wide grins and full of ease and charm. He was enjoying himself, and Donna could only dread to think exactly what they were talking about.

Donna leant forward slightly and risked a quick glance to her right. Harvey was also staring at the couple, a slight frown on his face. He seemed to notice Donna's movement as his gaze flicked to her in a flash. Donna looked away, and decided that a conversation with Louis about his desperate attempts to coax Sheila to his mud club, was long overdue.

It wasn't long before Donna's moment of truth had arrived. The food had been cleared away, the toasts given, and the next thing she knew the band had started to play "The Way You Look Tonight", and Mike and Rachel were making their way to the middle of the dance floor.

The guests stood clapping and cheering, as the happy couple settled into their first dance as husband and wife. As they swayed slowly to the rhythm of the song, Donna was sure the sound of her heart thumping wildly might drown out the music. She tried desperately to control her breathing as she became acutely aware of Harvey's presence standing behind her. She swallowed heavily before turning to look over her shoulder at him. His face was still impassive, but his deep brown eyes had lost some of the frostiness she had become familiar with of late.

When she failed to move or say anything to him, he cocked his head to one side in that typical Harvey way, his eyebrows raised as he held out his hand to her.

"Shall we?" he said softly.

Donna took a deep breath and nodded as she took his hand and rose from her chair. Her heart was hammering so violently, she was afraid it might actually burst out of her chest. With trembling nerves, she allowed Harvey to lead them to the dance floor as he weaved his way through the crowd of guests.

They took their place on the dance floor, as Harvey gently pulled Donna around to face him. Still not brave enough to look him in the eye, she caught Rachel's gaze from over Mike's shoulder. Her friend gave her an encouraging smile and nod as if to assure her that all would be okay.

Harvey then gently placed his other hand on her waist and in an instant it was like an electric shock to her system. She slowly lifted her left arm, and rested her fingers on his shoulder, as their other hands were clasped together. Harvey pulled her closer to him, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the scent of him. A heady combination of soap, leather and expensive scotch, all gloriously him. With her forehead barely touching his cheek, they began to move slowly to the music.

Donna decided she needed to focus on something, anything other than him in order to control her now erratic heartbeat, and trembling limbs. She chose to concentrate on the song that was being played, only to realise that the lyrics really weren't helping her situation. They continued to sway to the music, his hand now burning her skin at her waist, and his scent now intoxicating. She briefly closed her eyes as the realisation dawned on her that nothing would ever feel as good as this sensation of being held in Harvey's arms. The awareness of that fact brought her both pleasure and despair.

It was as the other guests began to join them on the dancefloor that Harvey suddenly cleared his throat to speak.

"Who's the guy?" he asked, the timbre of his voice deep, causing goosebumps to break out across her flushed skin.

Donna swallowed a gasp as she contemplated his sudden question.

"A friend," she answered simply.

"I know most of your friends, Donna, and I've never seen him before."

Donna turned her head slightly to look at him square in the eye for the first time since they started dancing.

"Well then, clearly you don't know me as well as you think you do, do you?" she responded rhetorically, a slight edge to her voice.

Harvey didn't bite, but gave a little snort. "Oh, I'd say I know you well enough to figure that this guy is clearly very new on the scene," he said with a grimace.

"And what's it to you Harvey?" Donna asked, her chest now rising up and down rapidly as the butterflies were doing the conga in her stomach.

Harvey gave a slight shrug, but tightened his grip on her waist at the same time. "I just find it surprising that you would bring a guy that none of us have ever met before to Mike and Rachel's wedding. It must be serious between the two of you." He smirked, although his eyes seemed to flash dangerously.

"Like I said, he's a friend, and again, why does it matter to you who I bring?" she challenged, quickly growing tired of his questioning.

"It doesn't. It's just he really doesn't seem your type at all. He's _very_ friendly, isn't he. He sure knows how to work a room. He kinda reminds me of—"

Donna pulled out of his hold, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Just stop! Okay? Stop it. I don't need your observations on who I choose to be friends with."

"Donna—"

"You shut me out, Harvey! You closed the door on me, on us! Well, that means you don't get to comment on my life anymore," Donna's voice wavered, as she felt her eyes water. She turned to walk away from him, but Harvey grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her back.

"Donna…" He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Paula and Samuel had appeared next to them. He instantly let go of Donna's wrist, and looked up at Paula with a smile.

The four of them stood in silence for a few seconds, although it felt to Donna more like several awkward minutes.

"Any chance I can cut in here? I've been waiting to dance with this beauty all day," Samuel said smoothly.

Donna winced, but took the opportunity Samuel had presented to her. She smiled graciously and took his hand as they moved away from the other couple, who were still standing awkwardly in silence.

Samuel swept her into his arms, and they began moving to the latest song that was playing.

"So, how did I do?" Samuel grinned.

Donna didn't answer, her heart still pounding, and her skin still tingling from Harvey's touch. She was both angry with him and reeling from the fact she knew she was just as much hopelessly in love with him as she'd ever been. It was infuriating how he could get under her skin so easily, just with a few chosen words and the lightest of touches.

"Hey, are you okay? You're not angry with me, are you?" Samuel frowned as he studied Donna's expression.

Donna lightly shook her head. "No, Samuel. I'm not angry with you. Don't get me wrong, that kiss earlier really wasn't necessary and a heads up would have been nice… but I do appreciate all that you've done for me today. Coming here, and being so at ease with my friends. I really am grateful," she said sincerely.

Samuel shrugged. "It's no problem, I actually had quite a bit of fun today."

They continued dancing in relative silence, as Donna tried to mentally process the day, and in particular her conversation with Harvey. It was as the latest song came to an end that she noticed Louis approach them, a slight frown on his face.

"Hey Louis, everything okay?" Donna asked.

"Yeah fine, Donna, well, actually I'm not sure. I promise I wasn't snooping, but I couldn't help but notice that you have three missed calls from your father on your cell phone. I thought you should know," he said.

Donna took a sharp intake of breath, the recent butterflies instantly replaced with a twisted knot in the pit of her stomach.

"Thank you Louis. If you'll both excuse me, I need to go call him." She nodded to both men.

"Of course, Donna."

Donna walked swiftly back to her chair at the top table and picked up her phone, noticing there were now five missed calls. She instantly dialed her father's number and tapped her fingers on the table as she waited for him to answer.

On the third ring, she heard the click of the line as she was greeted with her father's voice. She felt herself instantly relax as he began to speak, only for her blood to run cold and her face turned white as a sheet as she listened to the words he was saying.

Ending the call, Donna threw her phone into her purse and rushed out of the ballroom, only pausing briefly to speak to Alex on her way out. She asked him to make her apologies for her, and assured him she was fine, but that she had to leave. With that, she promptly left the room, leaving Alex looking slightly bewildered.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Donna stood poised in the empty corridor of the 50th floor of Zane Specter Litt. She'd been pacing her office for nearly half an hour, her mind in turmoil and her nerves on edge.

Now that the senior partner she wanted to speak to had finally arrived, she found herself hesitating, still unsure she was doing the right thing.

Biting her bottom lip, and swallowing heavily, she lightly tapped on the glass door of the office she'd been staring into for the last few minutes.

Samantha Wheeler looked up, and her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She then frowned at Donna, beckoning her in with a wave of her hand.

"Donna! You're back!"

"Hi Samantha … are you busy?"

"No, come in. Is everything okay? Everyone's been really worried after you took off so abruptly on Saturday." Samantha's voice was laced with concern.

"I know, I'm sorry about that, Samantha." Donna gave a weak smile.

"Can I ask what happened?" Samantha asked, her frown deepening.

Donna sighed heavily. "I had a bit of a family emergency. I know I shouldn't have absconded like that without giving Alex a better explanation, but I really wasn't thinking straight at the time," she said, her eyes looking down into her lap.

Samantha sat up straight, resting her elbows on her desk. "Donna, what happened?"

Donna closed her eyes and shook her head, when she opened them they were full of unshed tears.

"Donna?" Samantha's tone was more firm, but still full of sympathy.

Donna wiped a stray tear from her cheek, then seemed to find her resolve as she looked up at the other woman.

"I need your help, Samantha," she said as she stared intently into her eyes. Her breathing was rapid, and she was well aware that Samantha had picked up on how anxious she was.

"Okay. Of course, Donna. What do you need?" Samantha asked.

Donna briefly glanced through the office glass wall as two third year associates walked past. She'd deliberately chosen this early in the morning so that she had the best chance of speaking to Samantha privately, knowing full well that the lawyer was always in early on a Wednesday. She'd also wanted to avoid as many members of the senior team as possible, not feeling ready to face a barrage of questions regarding her abrupt exit from the wedding. She certainly didn't have the patience to face the Spanish Inquisition, also known as Louis Litt. She knew that with the exception of Mike and Rachel, Louis would have been the most worried about her.

She looked back at Samantha, aware the other woman was waiting for her to elaborate.

"I need you to look into something for me. It's regarding my father, and a company he's in business with." Donna took a deep breath, her eyes wide and cautious.

Samantha tilted her head slightly and frowned. She clearly wasn't expecting that response from Donna. "Would I be right in thinking it's not legal help you're after?" she asked with a twitch of her lips.

"Not entirely, no," Donna confirmed with a small shake of her head.

"Is this why you haven't gone to Louis or Harvey? I mean they have both always represented you and looked after your legal interests, Donna. I wouldn't want to—"

"This is too delicate a situation for me to talk to Louis about," Donna interrupted, her tone adamant. "He is an outstanding lawyer and I love him dearly, but he can't help me with this. And as for Harvey…" she paused, biting her lip and looking away again. "You know that he and I are not on good terms, Samantha."

"Maybe not, Donna. But if you're in trouble, there's no way he wouldn't help you." Samantha had leaned forward and reached her hand out.

Donna was shaking her head vehemently now. "I can't, Samantha. I won't go to Harvey with this. It's too personal, and we just don't have that kind of relationship anymore." Donna had lifted her hand to her mouth, in a vain attempt to hide her trembling lips. She swallowed heavily as she forced back her tears. "Please, Samantha. I'm not one to beg, but I need someone with your particular skill set. I need your discretion, and I don't know who else to turn to."

"Donna. You need to tell me what the hell has happened, right now." Samantha ordered her.

"I will tell you everything, but first I need your word that you won't breathe a word of what I tell you to anyone. Not Robert or Louis and certainly not Harvey." Donna's tone left no room for doubt that she wouldn't say another word to Samantha, without that assurance.

Samantha leaned back in her chair and nodded, studying Donna intently as she did so.

"You have my word, Donna. Now … start talking."

Donna chose not to stay at the office once she'd finished her meeting with Samantha. She still didn't want to see or speak to anyone if she could possibly help it.

She gathered up her coat and handbag and swiftly made her way past the reception desk, pressing the button to call for an elevator. As she stood waiting, she gazed across the office space of ZSL, looking out over the reception desk ahead of her, through the conference room beyond and out on to the cityscape, the early morning light bouncing off of the buildings and bathing the room in a warm glow. In contrast, she felt anything but warm and sunny. Cold, dark fear was coursing through her veins, and she instinctively pulled her coat tightly around herself as though it might protect her from her worries.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ding of the elevator, heralding the arrival of her ride down to the lobby.

The doors slid open and her stomach flipped when none other than Harvey Specter stepped out. This was early for Harvey, and she cursed her misfortune. She'd banked on him arriving at his usual hour, therefore enabling her to escape the firm without having to set eyes on him at all. Clearly fate had other ideas, and her throat ran dry when he looked up and clocked her.

"Donna!" Harvey looked genuinely surprised to see her, but then the veil of hostility soon fell across his face. "Nice of you to show up for work, finally."

Donna momentarily closed her eyes as she composed herself. The last thing she needed right now was a fight with Harvey, and particularly one here, out in the open space, even if no one else was around.

"I was actually just leaving." She moved to step past him, but he immediately blocked her path.

"Leaving? It's 7.30 in the morning, where the hell do you think you're going?" he demanded, his eyes narrowed.

"I'm sorry, Harvey. I'm taking some time off. It's long overdue," she said less than confidently.

"The hell you are," he snapped. "Last time I checked, I'm still managing partner of this firm, and if you want time off, you need to make the request through me!"

"Okay," Donna huffed. "Harvey, I am hereby formally requesting the rest of this week off."

"Request denied!" Harvey was glaring at her dangerously now.

"Harvey! This is ridiculous. I can't remember the last time I took any annual leave, and I need this week off."

"And I need to discuss the quarterly forecast report that you completed, with the senior team, not to mention it's the partners meeting this afternoon. A meeting where the management of this firm is up for a vote."

"I think you made it quite clear last time, that my presence in that meeting is not required by you," Donna snapped.

Harvey blanched at her response. "You are a member of the senior team. Your attendance is mandatory," he said a little less harshly.

"If you are worried about my vote, Harvey. You have it. Despite what you may think, I will always have your back. I can vote by proxy, and that's what I plan to do. So, if there's nothing else, I'd like to go home now." Donna knew she was doing a bad job of hiding the emotion in her voice, so she turned to step aside from him once more.

Harvey clearly wasn't finished though.

"Let me be perfectly clear, Donna," he spat. "Unless you've failed to notice, we've recently gone through a merger. The role of COO is critical in ensuring this transition happens smoothly. So if you're truly committed to the job you so desperately wanted and fought for, you won't be asking for time off. Especially if it's just so that you can have afternoon delights with your new boyfriend!" he snarled.

Donna took a step back in shock at his words. "How dare you say that to me. How dare you make those assumptions about me!" she cried indignantly.

"What the fuck am I supposed to think, Donna? You turn up at the wedding with some dickhead in a shiny suit that no-one has ever seen or heard of before, and you're all over each other like a rash. You then leave, boyfriend in tow, without saying goodbye to anyone, not least Mike and Rachel, for fuck sake. You don't show up for work for the last two days, again without telling anybody where you are. Now here you are, it's Wednesday morning, you've not explained to anyone where the fuck you've been, and all you have to say to me, your managing partner, is 'fuck you, I'm going home, and I won't be back until next week'!"

Donna felt her eyes sting with tears. She shook her head as she bit her lip. "Are you finished?" she asked, her tone flat.

Harvey clenched his jaw as he seemed to ponder his next words. He then glared back at her. "Unless it's an emergency. Your request is not authorised, Donna," he said firmly as though challenging her to disobey him.

Donna stepped past him and into the elevator. She turned to face him.

"Harvey, I'm going home. Something has come up with my family and I need the time off. I will email you a formal request as soon as I get home. Authorise it, don't authorise it. I really don't care."

Harvey's expression instantly shifted, the previous anger and hostility immediately replaced with a look of genuine concern.

"Something has happened with your family?" he all but whispered.

Donna reached over and pressed the button for the lobby. "Yes, Harvey … but it's nothing that concerns you."

They stared at each other, a thousand unspoken words and deep felt emotions filled the charged air between them, before the doors of the elevator closed, and Donna began her descent down to the lobby.

Her heart was aching. As angry as she was with Harvey, and particularly at some of the things he had insinuated, her overriding emotion was that of heartache. She still longed for him She missed him terribly, and now more than ever, she wished she could confide in him.

She wasn't sure if he would know what to do regarding her current predicament, but she missed that sense of security that he had always offered her. She knew that there was an element of truth to what Samantha had said to her. If she was to tell Harvey what had happened, he probably would try to help.

However, she wasn't 100% sure anymore. She imagined if he did, he might do so begrudgingly, or even worse, do so because he felt he owed her a favour and not because she was his friend. The mere notion that he might consider his help as a simple case of her calling in a chip was like a vice around her heart. In her mind, it would be just as painful as if he out and out rejected her plea for help. He was the man who still held her heart in his hand, and he had the power to destroy her.

However, having said all of that, she knew that if push came to shove, and Samantha wasn't able to come through for her, she would go to him eventually. She would have to. Even if it broke her heart in the process. There was simply too much at stake, not to. She would sacrifice her dignity for her father. He was more important. Besides, the damage to their friendship was already done.

She replayed his words in her mind as she stepped out into the lobby. His biting accusations about Samuel had stung. Her fears that bringing him to the wedding might have smacked of desperation, resurfaced.

Harvey's assumption that Samuel had left _with_ her, told her that her plus one must have left shortly after she had. She felt guilty about Samuel to say the least. She had managed to message Rachel the day after the wedding, apologising for her sudden departure whilst assuring them that she was okay. She'd avoided Rachel's subsequent phone call, not wanting to disclose what had happened, but not wanting to lie to her friend, either.

She hadn't messaged Samuel though, and she felt awful about it. The man had done her a massive favour and put himself out there to help her. He'd been kind, friendly and patient with her, and he deserved better than how she'd treated him. Regardless of the events that had happened over the weekend, she should have contacted him. She was determined that she would rectify that situation as soon as possible.

She hailed a cab, and made her way home. She gazed out of the window of the taxi, watching the busy New York streets go by in a blur. Her head ached, no doubt brought on by stress.

As her cab pulled up outside her apartment block, she quickly paid the driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She looked up to the front doors of the building, pausing on the sidewalk when she saw Samuel coming down the steps.

"Samuel!" she called out.

He stopped and looked across to her, and he gave her a smile that instantly relieved any fears she'd had, that he might be angry with her.

"It's the runaway bridesmaid!" he said still smiling, as he walked across to meet her.

She gave a sigh and looked up at him apologetically.

"Hey Samuel. I am so, so sorry about Saturday. I left you high and dry without any explanation. I feel terrible about it."

"It's okay, Donna. Honestly, I was fine. More importantly, are you okay? I heard from your colleague, Alex, that you left looking quite distressed," he asked, his smile replaced with a concerned frown.

"I had a bit of a family emergency, yes. It doesn't excuse me not getting in contact with you and explaining myself though, does it?"

"Of course it does, you had more important things on your mind. Can I ask what happened? Is everything okay now?" He had reached out a hand and rested it on her arm.

Donna shook her head and her eyes welled up once more.

"Not really, no. My father was rushed into hospital. He's okay now, well, he's stable at least. It's just been a bit of a rollercoaster of a weekend, to say the least."

"Christ, I'm so sorry, Donna. Is he going to be okay?"

Donna nodded but her face betrayed the severity of the situation.

"I think so, it was actually him that called me from the hospital, on Saturday. But then he was rushed into surgery shortly after his call, and I almost lost him before I even managed to get there. It was touch and go for a while…" her voice trailed off as she began to sob.

Samuel immediately took Donna into his arms and held her as she broke down and wept. She sunk into his embrace, and felt herself let go of a lot of the tension she had been bottling up over the last few days. His hands ran up and down her back as he soothed her, and she clung to him, gratefully soaking up the comfort that he offered.

Eventually, Samuel pulled away from her, as he tenderly tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"How about we go get a coffee? Maybe grab some brunch. I bet you haven't eaten yet today," he suggested softly.

"I don't know. I need to get back to Connecticut, and I haven't packed a bag yet."

"What time is your train?" Samuel asked, checking his watch.

"They're every half hour, but I really just want to go see him again as soon as I can," Donna said as she dried her eyes with the back of her hand.

"How about you go and sort out what you need to do at home, then we'll go and grab something to eat at Grand Central. I know a little place there that does the most amazing breakfast bagels. You have time and I'll feel better knowing you've eaten before you go."

"You don't have to do that Samuel, I'll be fine," she answered, biting her lip.

"I want to. Come on, you need sustenance and I reckon you could do with a bit of company too," he paused, taking her hand. "Don't make me play the 'you owe me for abandoning me at your friends wedding' card, because I will if I have to." He smirked.

Donna gave a little chuckle. "Well when you put it like that, I can't really refuse, can I?"

"Nope!" Samuel grinned.

After swiftly packing a small carry case, they made their way to the little cafe Samuel had recommended. The bagels were indeed to die for, and Donna realised when she finished the last crumb, just how hungry she had been.

They kept the conversation light. Donna was grateful Samuel didn't pry any further regarding her father. He seemed happy to talk about her work colleagues whom he'd met at the wedding.

"I'm telling you, I wouldn't cross her. She certainly seems like a formidable woman," Samuel chuckled.

"Samantha certainly is that. She takes no prisoners," Donna admitted. "When she first arrived as part of the new merger, she locked horns with practically every partner in the firm. I think we all thought she was going to be nothing but trouble. She's turned out to be a real asset, though." Donna looked away, her expression faltering as she recalled her earlier meeting with Samantha.

"I'm sure she is, although I sense that there's more to her than meets the eye." Samuel nodded as he took a sip of his latte.

"Definitely. Put it this way, if someone were to tell me that she previously worked for the CIA or MI6, I wouldn't doubt it." Donna gave a little laugh. "She's actually proving herself to be a real friend to me, especially with things the way they are with Harvey."

Donna hesitated, not sure whether she should say anymore than she already had.

"This thing with my Dad… I don't want to go into details, but I needed some help and advice and traditionally, I would have gone to Harvey about it." Donna swallowed and looked up to Samuel with a sad smile. "I don't feel I can do that anymore, and so I found myself turning to Samantha instead. She certainly stepped up and I'm realising now how much I might have initially misjudged her."

Samuel nodded in understanding and he reached out and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I am sorry that you feel like you've lost Harvey. It sounds like you have other people out there that support you though. I certainly got that impression from speaking to them at the wedding. They all seem to care very deeply about you. Well… all except one," he said with a wry smile.

Donna quirked an eyebrow when she realised who he was referring to. She instantly recalled the rather in depth discussion she'd observed him having with said person.

"I meant to ask you about that. What the hell were you talking to Paula about at the wedding? She looked uncomfortable as hell, and you looked like you were enjoying yourself far too much," Donna asked, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I _was_ enjoying myself...Immensely," he grinned.

Donna tilted her head to the side, indicating that she required further explanation.

Samuel gave a little shrug. "Lets just say it became clear to me very quickly that she feels incredibly threatened by you. She's Harvey's girlfriend, yet during the service and the meal, she spent more time watching you than she did watching him. So I decided to have some fun by pushing her buttons and watching her squirm."

"How exactly?" Donna asked, more than slightly alarmed.

"I basically raved about how wonderful you were. How lucky I was for being your plus one at the wedding, because let's face it, no offence to the beautiful bride, you were clearly the most stunning woman in the room...and that was the least of your qualities," he paused as he noted Donna's eyes widening in apparent horror. "I might also have finished off by telling her how wonderful it was that her and Harvey had such a loving, trusting relationship, how refreshing it was that she _didn't_ feel threatened by some of the beautiful women he worked with."

"Oh my God. You did NOT!" Donna's hand flew up to her mouth in shock.

"Come on Donna, if they are really that tight and secure, then every word I said is true and no harm was done," he responded, clearly unfazed by her reaction.

Donna shook her head in disbelief, a conflict of emotions racing through her. She felt like she should rip him a new one for overstepping the line and saying what he did. However, the other part of her was secretly pleased that his words unsettled Paula so much. Samuel was right, if things were solid between them, Paula really shouldn't have anything to worry about. Even though Donna was certain her feelings for Harvey were not reciprocated, she was ashamed to admit to herself that it felt good that the other woman had been so unnerved by his words. Donna was sure that that must be a new low for her.

Samuel seemed to sense her uneasiness. "Hey, I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not. We both agree that the woman is pretty loathsome right? I mean, his ex-therapist? Really?"

Donna sighed and opened her mouth to respond, but they were interrupted by an announcement over the p.a system. Donna's face fell in dismay when she registered the news that due to an incident on one of the rail lines, all scheduled trains to Connecticut had been cancelled until further notice.

"You have got to be frickin' kidding me!" Donna's hand flew up to her forehead in frustration, as she ran to the nearest departures board seeking clarification of the announcement she had just heard. "No, No, No…" she wailed. "I have to go see my father. This can't be happening to be me. Not today!"

"Hey," Samuel was at her side, he reached for her hand. "It's okay, Donna. I'll drive you there."

"What?" She whipped around to face him in shock.

"I'll drive you there, it's not a problem." Once again, Samuel seemed unfazed by the situation and completely at ease with his offer of help.

"I can't ask you to do that Samuel—"

"You're not asking, I'm offering," he interrupted.

"Do you even have a car?" she asked, still bewildered by his suggestion.

"I would hardly have offered if I didn't. I have access to a company car," he clarified.

Donna shook her head, her mind struggling to resolve her current situation.

"Donna, you desperately want to get back to your father, yes? We don't know when the trains will be running again. I am happy to take you there, it's only a few hours drive. I really don't mind, so let me help you," he said earnestly.

Donna looked into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. She still felt like she was imposing on him, but her desire to get to Connecticut overrode any other reservations she might have had.

"Okay, Samuel. Thank you. I'd really appreciate that." She sighed in relief.

"Okay then. Let's go and pick up the car, and get on the road. I reckon if we're lucky, we'll get you there just after lunchtime." He smiled, reassuringly.

She nodded, but then felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She reached for it and saw that Samantha was calling her.

"It's Samantha," she informed him. "I just need to take this, I won't be a minute."

"Sure. I'll just go get us a coffee for the road." He stepped away to give her some privacy.

Donna slid back the answer button and held the phone to her ear.

"Hi Samantha"

" _Donna! Where are you?"_

"I'm at Grand Central. I'm just about to drive up to Connecticut to visit my Dad, though. Is everything okay? Have you managed to find anything out yet?" she asked nervously.

" _Not much, but what I have discovered so far, isn't good, Donna. Are you staying with anyone when you get there?"_

"I was planning on staying at my Dad's house. Why?"

" _I just need to know where and how I can get a hold of you, if I need to. What time is your train?"_

"Actually there is a problem with the trains, so Samuel is going to drive me up there. I'll have my phone on me at all times though," she assured her.

" _Okay… How are you holding up?"_

Donna sighed. "I don't know. I'm a nervous wreck if I'm being honest. I just feel so helpless, and I'm so worried about what might happen."

" _We'll get this sorted, Donna. I promise! Hang in there. I'd better go, Louis is walking towards me as we speak. I'll call you as soon as I have any news."_

"Thanks, Samantha."

Donna hung up just as Samuel appeared with two take away cups of steaming coffee.

"Everything okay?" he asked, picking up on Donna's worried expression.

Donna gratefully took her coffee and cradled it in her hands. She decided there and then that she had to have faith that Samantha would come through for her. She looked across to Samuel and gave him her best confident smile.

"It will be, Samuel. It will be."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Big thanks again to my two wonderful Beta's, Kate & Blue xxx
> 
> This chapter brings a change in POV (finally). I hope everyone still enjoys the story.
> 
> Jo x

* * *

"Red one or the blue one? What do you think? I just can't make up my mind."

Paula alternated the dresses in front of her as she studied herself in the full length mirror. She frowned, tilting her head to the side, and gave a frustrated sigh.

"I've never been to a Thanksgiving dinner before, I have no clue what I should wear or what the etiquette is. I mean are neither of these outfits appropriate? Are they too dressy?"

When she failed to hear any kind of response, she turned away from the mirror and gazed at the man sat in the corner of their bedroom. At first glance, it appeared he was watching her closely, but Paula soon realised his gaze had fallen beyond her, out onto the city skyline. His mind was clearly on anything but her.

"HARVEY!"

His eyes snapped back to her, slightly startled. He gave her a quick smile as though on auto response.

"Sorry, Paula. What were you saying?" He looked at her intently hoping to convey she had his full attention.

Paula pursed her lips in frustration. This wasn't the first time Harvey's mind had wandered. In fact ever since the wedding, it had become a regular occurrence, and Harvey sensed Paula was acutely aware of that fact.

"Which dress should I wear for Louis's Thanksgiving dinner?" she asked, her voice laced with irritation.

"Erm, whichever one you feel most comfortable in. They're both nice," he answered with a shrug.

"'Nice' isn't exactly what I'm going for." Paula tossed both dresses on to the bed. She didn't try to hide the disappointment she felt with his response.

Harvey stood up from his chair and walked over to stand behind her. He laced his arms around her middle, and kissed her shoulder, his eyes locking with hers in the reflection.

"What _are_ you going for?" he asked softly.

"Something that will divert your attention away from whatever is bothering you, and back towards me," she said as she stared right back at him challengingly.

Harvey tensed. In the six months that he had been with Paula, her ability to read him had initially been a blessing. He never really had to try and explain himself to her, or try to find the words to convey how he was feeling. Lately however, this particular skill set of hers had started to grate. Rather than making life simpler for him, he felt exposed, and he didn't like it. His uneasiness was doubly compounded by the fact that not only could she read him like a book, she would also readily voice her thoughts on the matter without any reservation. She constantly called him out on every nuance, thought and expression and she never held back.

As a consequence, he now found himself constantly guarded and on edge around her. Whereas before, Paula helped him escape everything else that was going on in his life, now he was starting to feel like he was on the defensive all the time, and it was mentally exhausting.

He knew that part of the reason he felt this way was his own fault, not Paula's. Ever since that infamous day, the day of Jessica's disbarment, the night Donna had kissed him, he had been racked with guilt. He had never told Paula what had transpired that night, and he deeply regretted it.

He should have told her. He should have said something the second he got back to his apartment and she was there waiting for him. He didn't though, and now the guilt had morphed into a sense of betrayal that festered inside of him. Day by day he felt worse. He'd foolishly kidded himself that because he didn't invite what had happened, he had done nothing wrong by not saying anything to his girlfriend. He'd convinced himself that the turmoil that he felt, would just fade away over time, as he was an innocent party in the matter.

Except, deep down he knew he wasn't innocent. He distinctly remembered the way he had felt that night. His feelings and desires for Donna had been deeply buried for over ten years, smouldering away like embers of a long ago lit fire. That kiss had reignited the flame within him. It was as if gasoline had been poured directly onto the glowing cinders.

However, the sudden reawakening of those desires had blindsided him. He couldn't make sense of what had happened, and the only two people who could possibly have helped him understand his feelings were the last two people he could turn to. He felt helpless, confused and vulnerable.

He panicked.

As a consequence, his first course of action with regards to Paula, was to pretend it didn't happen. If anything, he found that he overcompensated for his guilt. He immediately asked her to move in with him, something that he now realised was a knee jerk reaction to what had happened. Paula had initially turned him down, gently suggesting that it was too soon in their relationship and they should wait awhile before taking such a monumental step. So, with the guilt still burning inside him, he began lavishing her with affection. He wined and dined her, bought her expensive gifts, spent every evening he could with her, until eventually she relented and agreed to move in with him.

At the same time that he threw himself wholeheartedly into his relationship with Paula, he systematically set about destroying what he had with Donna. He didn't consciously make the decision to do so at all, but the same guilt that had shaped his behaviour with his girlfriend, also drove him to attack his best friend.

His guilt and feelings of betrayal had transitioned into sheer anger and resentment. He was furious with Donna.

Up until that kiss, Harvey felt that everything was going well in his life. He had promoted Donna, thereby satisfying her need for 'more'. He was in a proper grown up relationship with a woman that understood him, meaning he didn't have to expend a lot of effort. He was managing partner of his firm, and the business was doing well. All things considered, life was good.

Then, Donna kissed him, and it was like the proverbial rug had been pulled out from underneath him as his whole world had been turned upside down. He was left disoriented, confused and unsure of his own feelings. Not only was he livid that she had turned him into the one thing he despised, his anger was also fueled by the fact that Harvey hated doubting himself, he hated feeling vulnerable. He lay the blame for all his inner turmoil squarely at her door.

In quiet, lucid moments, normally times when he was on his own at his condo, he would reflect on the last few months. In these moments, he would acknowledge to himself that he was being unfair, cruel and unreasonable towards Donna. He knew he loved her, and he knew how important she was to him. He wasn't blind to the fact that he was driving her away and as a result he would chastise himself and resolve to fix their broken friendship.

But then Paula would be there, and she would unknowingly say something that would spark his guilt again, and the feelings of animosity would return. The same would happen when he would see Donna at work. He would start the day with the intention of building bridges with her, but then as soon as he would see her, his mind would be flooded with forbidden memories. He would remember the taste of her lips, the gentle scratch of her nails on his neck and the sensation of her tongue toying with his own. Left unchecked, these memories would transform into images from even further back, and he would recall naked pale freckled skin, the sounds of gentle sighs and moans and the sweet taste of strawberries and whipped cream. To Harvey, Donna's kiss had opened Pandora's box and unleashed a myriad of taboo memories, wants and desires, and he seemed incapable of controlling those thoughts and emotions. His frustration would then lead to anger once again and he would inevitably lash out at Donna as a result.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you? Or do I have to guess?" Paula interrupted his thoughts.

Harvey sighed and his arms dropped to his side, as he held her penetrating gaze in the mirror.

"It's just work stuff, Paula. The merger is proving to be a painful transition... I have a lot on my mind," he said, hoping that would be enough to answer her question.

"Of course, I'm sorry, Harvey. The partners meeting was today, wasn't it? What happened with the vote?"

She turned to face him and placed her hands on his chest, a look of concern on her face.

Harvey shook his head. "It didn't happen. Robert was stuck in court all day and Samantha wasn't available, so I postponed it."

Paula nodded, her eyes still studying him intently.

"I take it Donna was back then? Did she explain herself, why she disappeared from the wedding?" Paula asked with a slightly disapproving tone.

Harvey swallowed, but he didn't look away, well aware by now of some of his possible tells when he felt uncomfortable.

"She came in briefly this morning, but only to ask for the rest of the week off. She had a family emergency apparently."

"Oh. Is everything okay?" Paula asked cautiously.

Harvey shrugged. "I don't know. She didn't give me any details."

Harvey turned away from her then, and moved towards his closet to get changed, hoping that would be an end to the conversation.

Paula frowned. "She had a family emergency and she didn't give you details? That has to be a first," she scoffed.

Harvey's jaw tensed and he paused slightly as he removed his tie. "I'm not privy to everything that goes on in her life, Paula," he said defensively.

"Since when?" she challenged.

"Since...she no longer works at my desk. Since I have someone else to share stuff with…" Harvey threw his arms out in frustration, as he failed to keep the edge of irritation from his voice.

"There's no need to be so defensive, Harvey. I've told you before, I'm well aware how important a friend she is to you. Which is why I am surprised that she hasn't talked to you about whatever has happened."

Harvey clenched his fist and composed himself before answering. "Well just like me, maybe she has someone else she confides in now," he said with a shrug, but once again he did a poor job of hiding the bitterness in his tone.

Paula studied him for a moment, crossing her arms. "Has something happened between the two of you?"

"What?" Harvey visibly blanched.

"I couldn't help but notice the tension between the two of you at the wedding. I wondered if something had happened," she suggested, her eyes boring into his.

Harvey just stared back at her in response, unsure what to say. He shrugged again whilst shaking his head.

Paula stepped nearer to him, her eyes raking up and down his form, as though reading everything he was failing to verbally communicate.

"I _had_ assumed you two might have had a fight or falling out over something. But now I'm starting to wonder if it's the fact that she's started seeing someone that bothers you."

Harvey's shoulders dropped and he huffed as he threw his shirt on to the bed. "Paula! That's ridic—"

"Save the mock outrage, Harvey," she interrupted, her hand held up to halt is protestations. "We've discussed this before. We both know that Donna is in love with you, and you like the fact that she is."

"I would never …" Harvey faltered, his heart now racing.

"I'm not suggesting that you would, Harvey. But regardless of our relationship, you still want to be the focus of her attention and the centre of her world. The fact that she appears to be trying to move on is clearly unsettling for you."

Harvey gritted his teeth, his patience wearing thin.

"That's bullshit, Paula. If you must know we _did_ have a major row a few months ago, and things haven't been the same between us since. How about you stop fucking analyzing me all the goddamn time, because you might have a Harvard medical degree but that doesn't make you right about everything. In this instance, you are way off the mark, and I am done with this conversation."

Harvey threw his sweater over his head and picked up his keys before storming out of the bedroom. Paula watched him go, a terrible sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. His reaction not convincing her in the slightest, but confirming her fears instead.

Harvey left his condo and stepped out into the cold New York air. He wrapped his coat and scarf tightly around himself and began walking at a fast pace, his heart already racing.

His mind was in a jumbled mess. Each day seemed to bring more confusion and more stress. He really didn't know what his next move should be, but one thing was certain, he knew he had fucked up big time.

He had been so certain that the decision to seek out Paula was the right one. She made him happy, she understood him, it was simple and easy. However, try as he might he couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. Paula ticked all the boxes, yet he still felt incomplete.

Then there was Donna. No-one seemed to spark the intensity of feelings in him, more than her. Be it anger, joy or frustration. Did that mean something? Or did it just come from a friendship that spanned over a decade and the fact that until recently, he had trusted her more than anyone. The anger he felt towards her felt like a poison seeping through his veins. It clouded his judgement and it steered him down a path that was slowly destroying what they'd had.

She had apologised for kissing him, several times. Yet he hadn't forgiven her. She had tried to maintain a professional relationship with him at the very least, but he had blocked her every attempt, belittled her at every opportunity, humiliated her on more than one occasion. All the time, part of him was screaming at himself to stop, as he saw the pain in her eyes, as he felt the anguish he was inflicting on her. Yet despite being racked with guilt for the way he knew he was treating her, he seemed unable to stop. The betrayal he felt as a result of the kiss had flicked a switch inside of him. It was like he was on autopilot, slowly and methodically removing her from his life as punishment for turning his life upside down.

It was that auto pilot that had caused him to ask for his key back. His steps faltered as he thought back to that night. The moment that he had climbed back into his car, the numbness he'd felt was instantly replaced with remorse as visions of her tear filled eyes and pained expression scorched his mind. So much so that he'd been determined to take back his request when he saw her the next day.

However when she arrived late at the partners meeting, he felt the all too familiar hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention. His temper flared and he took hardly any time at all to rip her to shreds, stooping to a new low when he insulted her past as a secretary. It was utter bullshit, they both knew it, but the mere fact that he would say such a thing to her, and in front of the management team was possibly the shittiest thing he had ever done to her.

He totally deserved the mouthful he got off her later that day, if anything he was relieved that she had called him out on it. He should have apologised there and then but the key being chucked back at him threw him for a loop once again.

Harvey had thought that episode was the turning point for him...for them. He knew without a doubt as he watched her march away from him, her shoulders shaking as she went, betraying the sobs that she was desperately trying to conceal, that if he didn't eradicate this poisonous anger that he felt, he would lose her forever.

So he made a decision there and then that at the wedding he would put things right. It was the perfect opportunity, as they could hardly avoid one another. He would apologise, he would own up to being a dick, he would beg for _her_ forgiveness. It wouldn't remove the guilt he felt towards Paula about the kiss, but it would hopefully bring back his best friend, and Christ, he had missed her. It was like there was a part of him missing.

Except all that went out of the window, when she had turned up with that douchebag. Where the hell had he come from? Harvey had watched as the guy fawned over her, his blood boiling when he had kissed her after the ceremony, his hands all over her. He didn't like the way he charmed his way around their friends and colleagues. He was too at ease with everyone considering he'd never met any of them before. He didn't like him. He knows that Paula would claim it was just pure jealousy. That anyone that Donna was attached to would bother him, and if he's honest with himself, that was probably true. However, there was just something else about this guy. Something about him got right under Harvey's skin.

So he hadn't apologised. He hadn't asked her to forgive him for his behaviour. He'd felt his annoyance and anger rise again instead. He had managed to restrain himself from his usual pattern of attacking her, it was Mike and Rachel's wedding after all, and he had promised Mike faithfully that he wouldn't cause a scene. Instead he'd seethed quietly to himself.

When it came time for them to dance, though, Harvey hadn't been prepared for how holding her in his arms would make him feel. His anger abated as her warmth and softness enveloped him and took his breath away. She fit perfectly into his frame and Harvey realised in that moment just how much he needed her and how much he missed her. He'd noticed her trembling, he knew she was struggling just as much as he was, but his attempt at conversation had failed spectacularly, when he made the mistake of asking her about Mr. Douchebag. Their conversation spiralled, and once again they had been left at an impasse, neither of them seeming able to fix the mess they'd found themselves in.

She'd then disappeared, and when she hadn't turned up for work on Monday morning, Harvey wrestled with yet more conflicting emotions. On the one hand he was concerned and worried. It wasn't like Donna to just not turn up for work without any notification as to why. On the other hand, he immediately assumed that it had something to do with this 'Samuel' guy, and that pissed him off to say the least.

So when he'd seen her this morning, he did his usual and went for the jugular. His anger spewed out of him like bile and once again part of him was aghast at the pain caused by the wounds his words inflicted on her. It wasn't until she eventually divulged that something had happened with her family that he was stopped in his tracks. The realisation that something serious might have occurred and she hadn't spoken to him about it, hit him square in the chest.

Harvey's thoughts were interrupted when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He looked at the screen and noticed several missed calls from both Paula and Samantha. At that moment, a text message arrived from his girlfriend.

" _ **Samantha is here, she's insisting on speaking to you. She says it's urgent. You need to come home"**_

Harvey frowned, it was now quite late in the evening, what could Samantha possibly want with him at this hour?

He quickly typed _**"I'm on my way"**_ in response then swiftly turned back in the direction of his apartment building, his steps picking up pace as the cold air started to bite and a feeling of unease propelled him home.

As he entered the hallway of his condo, he spied Paula sitting on his couch, a gin and tonic in hand and an uncomfortable frown plastered over her face. He then spotted Samantha sitting on one of his kitchen stools, and she immediately stepped down to face him as he approached her, throwing his keys down on the counter.

"Okay, I'm here. What's this about, Samantha? What's the urgency?"

"I need to talk to you about Donna," she said, her tone alarmingly serious.

Harvey's eyes flickered momentarily to Paula, his sense of unease growing by the second.

"What about her?"

"I think she's in trouble."

Harvey swallowed heavily as he felt his throat run dry. "What do you mean, trouble? Is this to do with the family emergency she told me about?"

Samantha placed her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at Harvey. "What exactly did she tell you about that, Harvey?"

Harvey shook his head. "Nothing really, just that she needed time off because of something to do with her family… look, what's going on?" His anxiety levels were rising, and his patience was wearing thin.

"Donna came to see me this morning. She asked for my help regarding a situation concerning her father and a business venture he was involved in. She was upset and, well, for want of a better word, she was frightened."

"What?"

"She left the wedding early because her father had been taken to hospital. He'd been mugged apparently and he was in a pretty bad way. He almost died in fact. Anyway, to cut a long story short, when she went to go see him, it soon became apparent to her that this wasn't a random mugging. He'd been targeted. Apparently, the people he originally went into partnership with sold their interests to a new company, and well, this other company is dodgy as hell. They've been threatening him for weeks, trying to coerce him into doing some shady shit, totally illegal!"

"You're fucking kidding me?" Harvey's eyes were wide, his heart now racing as his brain tried to digest everything Samantha was telling him.

"He'd refused to do what they wanted, and the next thing he knows, he gets jumped a few yards from his front door."

"Christ!"

"That's not all. They threatened Donna too. They told him that if he didn't come through for them, she would be next."

Harvey visibly paled. He felt his knees buckle and he staggered to the nearest kitchen stool.

Samantha continued. "Her father only disclosed this to Donna because he's convinced they won't think twice about going after her. He's fully prepared to do what they are asking, but Donna—"

"Let me guess, she won't have any of it. She's insisting he not back down." Harvey ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "Goddamn it, Donna," he muttered to himself, shaking his head in despair.

He then looked up at Samantha, his expression stern. "Why didn't she come to me about this? Why did she go to you?"

Samantha took a deep breath, glancing briefly across to Paula, who was watching the whole conversation like a hawk.

"I think you know why, Harvey."

Harvey closed his eyes. His blood had run cold, and that old familiar feeling of guilt was now twisting and turning in his stomach.

Samantha stepped towards him, as she placed a hand on his forearm. "Donna was reluctant to tell me anything at all as these people have made it painfully clear to her Father that he's not to breathe a word to anyone. But she decided to risk speaking to me as she wanted me to look into this company for her, to see if I could find any leverage to get them out of this situation. She knew that I wouldn't think twice about going above and beyond the normal legal avenues to get what's needed," Samantha paused as she observed Harvey's expression. "She was hesitant though as she's really worried that they'll find out we've been digging. She swore me to secrecy."

Harvey looked back up at her, his senses now on high alert.

"So why are you breaking your promise and telling me now?" Harvey asked.

"Because I looked into this company and I found all manner of serious shit. They're just a front for an organised criminal gang that's had its hand in everything from drug dealing, people trafficking and extortion to money laundering and even murder. Harvey, these aren't empty threats and the more I dug, the more worried I became for Donna's safety."

Harvey felt sick. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and his mind was working at a rate of knots, already trying to work out a solution.

"So you realised you needed my help?" he practically whispered.

"It's not that, Harvey. As soon as I realised how deep this goes and how serious this is, I knew I had to tell Donna straight away. She was travelling back to Connecticut with Samuel, and she assured me that she would have her phone on her at all times… only she's not answering. Her phone is switched off, I can't get hold of her."

Samantha paused and she visibly swallowed, before she continued. "I figured maybe her battery had died, so I tried to get hold of her at the hospital. The staff there told me that she was due to see her father this afternoon but she never turned up."

Harvey stared back at Samantha in horror, he was now trembling. "What are you saying, Samantha?"

"I'm saying Donna is missing."


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

The silence in Harvey's condo was deafening.

It seemed everyone was holding their breath in the mere seconds after Samantha had spoken.

Harvey felt the blood pounding in his ears as his brain worked at a manic rate, trying to digest what Samantha was telling him whilst also simultaneously trying to think rationally, come up with a solution, and not let the rapidly rising feelings of guilt and remorse consume him.

It was Paula that broke the silence. "Is it not possible you might be jumping to conclusions, Samantha? If Donna is with Samuel, maybe they decided to have some alone time before arriving in Connecticut," she suggested.

Samantha raised her eyebrows as she gave a huff in astonishment.

"I mean to say, Donna has had a stressful few days," Paula pressed on. "Her father is making a recovery, she has a new man in her life, I don't think anyone would blame her if she took a bit of a break and spent some quality time with her new boyfriend."

Harvey winced at Paula's words, as she smiled condescendingly at Samantha. The blonde senior partner had flushed a slight shade of crimson as she looked incredulously at his girlfriend.

"Were you not listening to anything I just said, Paula?" she challenged, irritation dripping from her words.

"Of course!" Paula bristled. "It's just the woman has only been out of contact for a few hours and you are immediately assuming something sinister has happened. Whilst I'm sure it might be unusual for her not to be where she said she would, I think it's a bit early to start panicking."

"Well, I don't remember asking you for your opinion on the matter," Samantha snapped.

"Samantha!" Harvey cut in, eager to to stop this spat escalating any further. "Enough. This isn't helping."

Samantha bit her cheek as she scowled at Paula, before deliberately turning away from the woman. "I'm sorry, Harvey, but we really don't have time to debate this. I know in my gut that something is wrong, and I know you do too."

Her eyes flashed in warning to him, as though daring him to dispute what she was saying in some weak attempt to back his girlfriend. Samantha wasn't having any of it. Harvey, however, nodded in agreement.

"You're right. Something is definitely wrong. After everything you told me, there's no way that Donna would be out of contact for this long. I also know that she wouldn't want to be away from her father if at all possible, so if she hasn't turned up at the hospital today, we need to establish when and where she was last seen."

Samantha relaxed at Harvey's words, relieved he was taking the situation as seriously as she was.

Paula on the other hand scowled at the pair of them, clearly incensed that her opinion had been so quickly dismissed.

"If you are both so certain that she is in danger, why don't you just call the police?" she asked, her arms outstretched in a gesture that told them it was the obvious thing to do.

Samantha sighed in frustration, but before she could respond to Paula, Harvey stepped towards his girlfriend and beat her to it.

"Samantha said that these people are likely to be part of an organised gang and they explicitly warned her dad not to breathe a word to anyone. If we go to the police, they'll know, and that could have catastrophic consequences for both of them. It's too risky. We need to find out as much as we can about these people and find Donna to make sure she's safe. We have to be clever about this."

"I understand that Harvey, but the police are more equipped to deal with this situation than you are. If these people are as dangerous as you think they are, you and Samantha should stay the hell away and let the professionals handle it." Paula was breathing rapidly now, clearly anxious.

"Paula, the police are tied to strict rules, regulations and protocol, and we don't have time for that—"

"Bullshit!" Paula snapped. "It's their job, Harvey. Whereas you are both lawyers. What the hell do you think you can do, that they can't, except put yourselves in harm's way? Call the police and tell them what has happened, call the FBI if you have to, but you both need to stay out of it!"

Harvey straightened his back as his eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. "I'm sorry, Paula, I can't do that. As far as I am concerned, in this situation, going to the police is way too risky and not an option." His voice was raised and firm, leaving Paula in no doubt that his decision was not up for discussion.

She shook her head, her eyes watering. "It might be risky, Harvey, but everything I have said is true. I still doubt that Donna is in trouble at the moment, but if she is, it's the authorities that should be handling it. You are not equipped to deal with this." She reached for her coat and walked over to where her shoes were. She slipped them on and turned back to face him. "If this concerned anyone else, you would be agreeing with me. You'd probably be on the phone to the police right now, calling it in." Paula bit her lip. "But you're not because this is Donna, and it's always different with her, isn't it?" she challenged him, the tremble clearly evident in her voice.

Harvey's shoulders dropped, but he stood his ground, not willing to admit or concede to anything.

"Paula—"

"Don't!" she stopped him with a shake of her head. "I'm going back to my apartment whilst you deal with this. Please keep me updated with what's happening and let me know that you're okay." She collected her purse and made her way to the front door.

Harvey followed silently, already decided he couldn't waste time fighting her on this.

As Paula opened the door, she turned towards him.

"Be careful, Harvey, please. You know where I am if you need me for anything. I really do hope that you find her safe and well." She reached up and kissed him softly on his cheek and then promptly left.

Harvey closed the door and immediately marched back to his kitchen where Samantha was stood, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"Whatever you're going to say, Samantha… save it," he said, as he swiftly retrieved his cell phone from his coat pocket and began dialling Donna's number. To his dismay the call went straight to her voicemail, not even ringing out once, indicating that her phone was indeed switched off, just as Samantha had claimed.

Harvey felt the coil of fear twist in his stomach and heart pounding, he reached for a glass and poured himself some water. He was well aware that his hands were trembling and that Samantha had probably already picked up on that fact. He chugged down the water, as he unbuttoned his collar and loosened the tie around his neck.

"Are you okay?" Samantha asked, knowing that it was a stupid question considering the circumstances, but alarmed at the state he was in, having never seen him like this before.

Harvey nodded. "I will be, as soon as we find out where Donna is and we know that she's alright." He took a deep breath, before continuing. ""Okay, when exactly did you last speak to her, and what did she say to you?" Harvey asked.

"It was this morning. I'm not sure of the exact time, but I know it was after 9am. I'd just got off the phone from one of my contacts that had been doing some digging for me. I called her straight away on her cell phone. She was at Grand Central station, and she was with Samuel."

Harvey swallowed as he nodded. "So we know they got a train then. That's good, we should be able to trace—"

"No," Samantha interrupted. "She said there was a problem with the train line, so Samuel was going to drive her."

Harvey frowned. "So Samuel was definitely going to be with her then, for her trip to Connecticut?"

Samantha nodded. "That's what she said."

"What else did she say and how did she sound?"

"Not much really. She initially seemed nervous when she answered the phone and asked me if I had managed to find anything yet. I didn't go into details, but I did tell her that it wasn't looking great. I asked her where she would be staying once she got to Connecticut, and she said she was planning on staying at her father's house. I told her I needed to be able to get in touch with her and that's when she assured me that she had her phone with her and I could call her anytime." Samantha said with a helpless shrug.

"Anything else?"

Samantha paused, her eyes scouring the room as she desperately tried to recollect the conversation they'd had.

"I did ask her how she was feeling. She said she was worried. I think she said she felt helpless and frightened about what might happen. I know that she wasn't sure coming to me was a good idea. I think that she was concerned that they would find out and it would put her father in even more danger."

Harvey closed his eyes as he brought his hand up to his forehead. He felt nauseous, sick to the stomach as he imagined the fear and turmoil she must have been in, and yet she hadn't come to him, she hadn't confided in him. He'd succeeded in driving her away, making her think that he couldn't or wouldn't help.

Samantha seemed to sense what Harvey was thinking, and she leaned forward, reaching a hand out to him. "Harvey, don't do this to yourself," she said in warning.

Harvey recoiled, and stepped away from her, his hands wringing through his hair. "Do what, Samantha? Feel like shit about my role in this, or lack of one."

"You had nothing to do with what's going on with her father. How is any of this your fault?" Samantha reasoned.

"Don't you get it? I wasn't there for her. I've spent the last few months pushing her away, isolating her from my life and then when she really needs me…" Harvey's voice faltered and he shook his head. "It's killing me, Samantha." He threw his arms out in despair. "I can't lose her."

Samantha walked up to face him. "Then we need to find her so that you can put things right with her. But that's not going to happen if you're too busy indulging in your very own pity party!"

Harvey's shoulders dropped as he took in Samantha's words. She was right of course. Berating himself was not going to help, he needed to clear his head and focus. However he was struggling to push aside his feelings of anguish. Ironically, Donna was the one person who would normally pull him up and out of his current state of mind and help him ready for battle. He closed his eyes and imagined what she would say to him now, if she was standing right in front of him instead of Samantha.

" _You need to put that armour of yours on, and go do the kind of shit only Harvey Specter can do."_

" _I have faith in you, Harvey._ "

He opened his eyes and looked at Samantha, who was staring at him expectantly, her hands on her hips. He nodded, his resolve strengthening with every passing second as he reached for his phone once more. He accessed his car club on speed dial, and placed the phone against his ear. After quickly barking out his order for what he needed, he stepped towards his bedroom with the intention of sorting out an overnight bag. He was moving rapidly between his bedroom and ensuite as he began throwing clothing items into a carry case.

"Where are you going?" Samantha asked as she observed him haphazardly packing his bag.

" _We_ are going up to Connecticut, to speak to Jim!"

Samantha frowned and was quick to voice her concern. "Harvey, I know we need to see him and he has vital information for us, but the man almost died a few days ago. I honestly don't know if he's in any fit state to see us, let alone what our visit could do to him. He'll probably freak out that we know what's going on."

Harvey had never been a big fan of Jim Paulsen. As far as he was concerned, Jim was a man that took irresponsible risks but without the balls or business acumen to back it up. Sure, he'd been a successful businessman at one time, but he'd lost it all and he'd been failing ever since. He never doubted, however, just how much the man loved his daughter. Jim had already considered giving in to these thugs demands in a bid to protect Donna, so if he suspected that she might now be missing, Harvey couldn't bear to think what the man might do in a panic to secure her safety, whether he was currently in a hospital bed or not. They needed to visit Jim as a priority, find out what he knew whilst also placating him as best they could.

"Samantha, we need to speak to Jim, and find out exactly how this all started and everything he knows. Who he's dealt with, names, dates, places … everything. Not to mention the fact that he must know by now that Donna is missing, and that makes him a loose canon, liable to make rash decisions that could just make matters worse."

Samantha bit her lip as she considered Harvey's plan. "Let me at least call the hospital and find out his condition before we traipse all the way up there?" she suggested.

Harvey threw his bag over his shoulder and stepped back out into the living room. "Fine, but do it quickly because we are leaving in the next five minutes!" he said as he grabbed his phone once more and placed a call to Ray, asking him to come and collect them from his condo as soon as possible and take them to the car club. It did occur to him that Ray could drive them all the way to Connecticut, but with the way things were panning out, he didn't want to get his faithful driver involved. Besides, Harvey was confident he could drive them both there himself, faster than Ray would anyway, and he needed the distraction of driving to help keep his mind focused and away from the ever present desire to panic.

Samantha in the meantime quickly made a call and ascertained from the hospital that while Jim was still in critical condition, he was conscious and thankfully able to talk.

"Okay then," Harvey said. "You got everything you need? Like all the information that you have collected so far from your investigations because I need you to run through every detail with me on our way up to Connecticut."

Samantha nodded, and without waiting for one more second, they both left Harvey's condo. As they stepped into the elevator, Harvey's brain was still working at a million miles per minute.

"We need to establish how Samuel fits into all of this," he said.

Samantha looked across and studied Harvey's face. "You think he's involved somehow?"

Harvey grimaced. "I don't know, but if he was driving her to Connecticut and she never arrived, I'd say that makes him suspect number one, wouldn't you?"

"Maybe. Or he's been caught up in this too and he's just an innocent party," she suggested.

Harvey shook his head. "Of course that's possible, but there was just something about that guy that bothered me from the moment I first saw him. He was too familiar with everyone, too friendly. He appears on the scene out of the blue at the same time that all this shit is going down with Jim Paulsen?"

"That could just be a coincidence." Samantha bit her lip as she eyed Harvey warily. "Are you sure your opinion of him isn't just clouded because of how you feel about Donna?" she challenged.

Harvey rolled his eyes but didn't bite. "No, Samantha. Reading people is what I'm good at, it's what I do and I'm telling you, I don't trust him. Besides, the mere fact that he was the last person with her —"

"No, you're right. We need to find out who he is, even if it's just to rule him out."

They stepped out of the elevator and into the foyer of Harvey's building. Ray was thankfully already waiting outside for them. They climbed into the back of the black lexus and as the car pulled away, Harvey glanced across to Samantha.

"How did she meet him?" he asked, his fist clenched at his side.

"Samuel? I think he lives in her building. Donna didn't say much about him when we spoke, but I vaguely recall that's what he told me and Katrina when we were sat with him at the wedding." Samantha frowned as she tried to remember their conversation.

"You think or you know for sure?" Harvey asked, failing to hide the hint of frustration in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Harvey, I drank quite a bit of wine that day, my memory is a bit hazy. He talked a hell of a lot, I do remember that. Although he seemed more interested in us than he was in talking about himself."

Harvey sighed heavily. "We need to try and pinpoint exactly when you spoke to Donna this morning. You said after 9am, but can you be any more specific than that?"

Samantha bit her lip as she recalled the conversation with Donna. "I ended the call because Louis was coming to talk to me. He had a deposition to go to at Bratton Gould at 10am, and he wanted to check something with me before he left. So it can't have been any later than 9.30am. I could probably check the phone records at work if we need more specifics."

"No, we don't have time for that. It gives us a decent enough window to work with. I'm guessing you know someone that could check CCTV to see if we can see them at the station?" Harvey asked, his eyebrow quirked.

"I do. Already in hand. They promised me footage by tomorrow morning."

Harvey nodded. "You said that the hospital confirmed she never arrived there, do we know for sure she never made it to her father's house?"

Samantha shook her head. "I did have someone check it out. I can't say for certain she hasn't been there at all today, but they did confirm that no-one was in and the neighbours claimed they hadn't seen anyone. There was no sign of anything unusual at the property."

Harvey drummed his fingers on his knee as he digested everything Samantha had told him so far. The twisted knot in his stomach was ever present but his mind was now managing to focus, to sort through every detail, and begin to process a plan of action. He pushed the crippling fear aside and allowed his steely resolve to take over. This is what he did, what he was good at. He had to treat this like another crisis case, attack it head on, methodically and ruthlessly to get the win they so desperately needed.

He looked across at Samantha. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. Once we pick up the car, I'm going to call Mike and see if he or Rachel can tell us anymore about this mysterious Samuel. Donna brought him to the wedding, so I figure they must know something."

"How are you going to ask Mike without raising his suspicions? We can't risk anyone else finding out what's going on, Harvey." Samantha sounded more than slightly alarmed.

"Leave me to worry about Mike."

They pulled up outside the car club and Harvey was out of the car before it had barely come to a stop. Ray opened the door for Samantha, and as she stepped out onto the sidewalk, Harvey retrieved his bag from the trunk.

"Thanks Ray, I'm sorry I had to call you out this evening." He acknowledged as he stepped around the car.

"Is everything okay, Harvey? I couldn't help but overhear you talking about Donna," his driver said with a look of deep concern.

"No it's not, Ray. But it will be," he answered with a less than convincing smile.

They bid a brisk farewell to Ray and entered the car club showroom, where Harvey collected the keys to an Aston Martin Vanquish with little fuss and in record time. Within just half an hour of leaving Harvey's condo, they were already on the interstate out of the city and on their way to Connecticut.

"You still going to call Mike?" Samantha asked, as she observed Harvey deep in thought, a frown on his face as he stared intently ahead.

"I will, but first do you think you could arrange for someone to keep watch over Jim until we get there?" he asked, his inflection leaving no doubt in Samantha's mind that he believed Jim to still be in real danger.

"You mean like a guard outside his door?" she clarified.

Harvey nodded.

"I can make sure he's protected." Samantha assured him. "Won't that raise a red flag though? It'll send a message out that we know he needs protecting and that Jim must have spilled the beans already."

"Samantha, hasn't it occurred to you that the mere fact that Donna is missing, means it's possible they already know? Why else would they have taken her?" he asked, his voice pained.

Samantha paled at his words. "You think my investigations alerted them?"

Harvey was quick to reassure her. "I'm not saying that, Samantha, but Jim was only attacked a few days ago. If their intention was to frighten him into doing what they wanted, they've hardly given him chance to do so have they? He's still in hospital recovering. Abducting Donna now seems a bit premature, unless—"

"Unless they realised she came to me for help, and that we're looking into them. Surely they'd only know that though, if she was being followed." Samantha paused as a possible realisation dawned on her. A realisation that had already occurred to Harvey quite some time ago. "Oh my God! Samuel!" she gasped.

"Samuel!" Harvey confirmed. His fists tightly clenched around the steering wheel and his jaw grew rigid, as he tried to keep his temper in check and his anger at bay.

"We still don't know that it's him though do we, Harvey? We shouldn't jump to conclusions!" Samantha tried to reason.

"No we don't, and I'm prepared to keep an open mind as we look into him more, but at the moment, if you consider the possibility that Samuel has been working for this gang all along, suddenly, everything fits!"

"Maybe, but it would also mean something else, Harvey," Samantha said, her breath more rapid as her mind worked quickly to process this new possibility.

"What?"

"If they've taken her because we are digging, they must be really worried about what we might find!" Samantha dared a wry smile.

"What do you mean?" Harvey all but whispered.

"From the information I already gathered, these people won't hesitate to use ruthless and extreme methods to get what they want, but they're not stupid and they're not reckless. They run their operations like a business and so far they've been pretty goddamn clever and shrewd with every dodgy deal they've done. Every move they've made is calculated and measured. Kidnapping someone is a precarious and hazardous move to say the least, and it risks exposing them which is the last thing they'd want to do. If they have taken her, it would only be because they felt they had to, to protect themselves."

"So they're hiding something big?" Harvey was even more petrified for Donna's safety at the hands of these bastards, but for the first time that evening, he felt the first tinglings of hope.

"It's all still speculation though at the moment," Samantha reminded him. "We have to find out who this Samuel is, and you're right, we need to speak with Jim as soon as possible."

She immediately called in a favour from one of her ex army buddies whom she knew now lived and worked near Hartford, asking him to make his way to the hospital and stand guard over Jim, no questions asked.

Harvey couldn't help but be impressed with the wealth of Samantha's resources, and any other time, he might have been a little envious. However, right now, he was more than grateful for them.

He took a deep breath and using the car's hands free service, he dialled Mike's number. His stomach sank when the dial tone rang out several times with no answer. Just as he was expecting Mike's voicemail to kick in, the line finally picked up.

" _Harvey! You'd better be calling me to tell me you're at death's door. In case you've forgotten, I got married on Saturday, and I'm kinda busy at the moment."_

"Sorry, Mike. This is kind of an emergency."

" _What's Louis done now, or have you run out of hair gel again?"_

They heard a giggle that clearly had come from Rachel in the background.

"Mike!" Harvey's tone left no room for doubt that this was no prank call.

" _What's happened, Harvey. Are you okay?"_ All sense of fun and jest was instantly gone from Mike's tone.

"I need your help with something and it concerns Donna."

" _Donna? Is she okay? Does this have something to do with why she left the wedding so suddenly?"_

"Yes, and she's not okay, and I need your help, Mike. She's in trouble and I can't go into too many details now, but I need you to fly out to Connecticut tomorrow and meet me at her father's house."

" _Christ, Harvey, what's going on?"_

Samantha was now glaring at Harvey, visibly incensed that he was blatantly filling Mike in on the situation.

Harvey ignored the daggers she was throwing his way. "I'll bring you up to speed tomorrow, and I'm really sorry to do this to you so soon after your wedding, but we need you. If I text you the address, will you come?"

" _Of course I will...we both will. You know we'd do anything for Donna, but you're really worrying me now. What the hell happened?"_

"Don't bring Rachel. I'm not asking you to hide anything from her, but the less people involved the safer it is for everyone. I promise I will explain everything tomorrow."

" _Okay, Harvey. I'll book the flight now and I'll be there tomorrow. Do you need me to bring anything?"_

"Just that big brain of yours," Harvey said, a slight sense of relief seeping through his veins. "Mike, I also need you to tell me what you know about Samuel."

There was a slight pause on the line. _"Samuel? You mean the guy Donna brought to the wedding? Why do you ask?"_ Mike sounded perplexed by the question.

"I just need you to tell me what you know about him. Everything! I'm assuming Donna spoke to Rachel about him."

" _She did. Is this to do with him? Has he done something to her?"_ Mike was sounding panicked, and Harvey was conscious that Rachel would be well aware by now that there was something clearly wrong.

"Mike, put me on speakerphone."

" _Okay, done… speak."_

" _Harvey, what's going on?"_ Rachel's voice was laced with worry.

"I'm not going into details now, but Donna is in trouble, it has something to do with her father, and we think that Samuel is involved. I will explain everything to Mike tomorrow, but right now I need you to tell me everything that you know about this Samuel."

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line, before Rachel cleared her throat.

" _Okay, well, there's not much to tell you I'm afraid. She hasn't known him for long. He lives in her apartment block, that's how they met. I think she said he runs security for a financial firm?"_

"Did she say how long he's lived there? How exactly they crossed paths? Did he approach her?"

Once again Rachel hesitated. _"Harvey, what's this guy done? You're frightening me."_

"We don't know he's done anything yet, Rachel, but I don't trust him and at the moment, everything is pointing to the fact he is involved in some shady shit and he's been manipulating her."

" _What do you need to know?"_

"Everything. I need to know everything she said about him, what they talked about, why he was at the wedding—"

" _Harvey, she spoke to me in confidence. She'd be mortified if she knew I'd disclosed any of that to you."_

"Damn it, Rachel, I don't give a shit about that. This is important. As far as we know, she's with him at the moment and I don't think she's safe!" Harvey snapped, his patience wearing thin.

" _Okay, okay. She'd only known him for a few days. He approached her the night you showed up asking for your key back. She was upset and he asked her if she was alright."_

Harvey swallowed heavily. Samantha glanced across at him but said nothing.

" _She dismissed him, but he called on her again the next day. She wasn't feeling too good, I believe she'd had another run in with you at work, and she decided on a whim to go out with him for a drink. She said they had a fun evening. She told me he was charming, funny and he listened to her."_ Rachel hesitated once again.

" _Go on, Rachel. Tell him the rest," Mike said softly._

" _It got to the end of the night and she found herself asking him to join her as her plus one at the wedding. She said she didn't plan on inviting him, but it kinda just happened. He said yes, and that was that. She instigated it Harvey, not him, and she maintained that he was there as her friend, nothing more."_

Something in Rachel's voice told him that there was more to that last statement than she was letting on. "Why would she invite him if she'd only just met him? Donna has never been that impulsive, it doesn't make sense… and at the wedding they looked like more than just friends," he added bitterly.

" _Harvey…"_ Rachel sighed. _"She was in pain. A lot of pain. Mike and I know about the kiss, Harvey. We also know how things have been between the two of you since that night. When she spoke to me on Saturday morning, I don't think I'd ever seen her that broken."_ Rachel paused again. _"I'm just gonna come out and say it, Harvey. She's in love with you, and she's hurting deeply because she has to stand by and watch you be with another woman. You've also been treating her like shit since the night of the kiss and she's heartbroken. Not only because you've chosen someone else, but because she also feels she's lost you as her best friend. She's racked with guilt and pain, and that made her vulnerable and impulsive. She tried to hide it, but I knew she was dreading Saturday, and I think Samuel gave her the safety blanket she needed to get through the day."_

Harvey was now squeezing the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles were white. His heart was pounding at Rachel's words, and the lump in his throat was so prominent he didn't think he could swallow, even if he tried. He briefly glanced across to Samantha, who was staring at him open mouthed as she digested everything that Rachel had revealed.

"I… I didn't realise…" he croaked out, his eyes now filled with unshed tears.

" _Didn't you?"_ Rachel scoffed in disbelief, her anger at Harvey more than apparent.

" _Harvey, we're not here to judge,"_ Mike interjected. " _... But you wanted to know the circumstances regarding Samuel. If he does have a hidden agenda with Donna, then he's been really lucky with the circumstances. She definitely invited him, although to be honest, I'm pretty sure she felt ashamed about it."_

"Like I said, I think he's clever and manipulative," he retorted, his voice still shaky. "Is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

" _Only that she told him all about the situation between the two of you. He said he would happily be there for her as moral support, and even suggested that his presence might make you jealous," Rachel admitted, clearly uncomfortable revealing this detail to Harvey._

"You're kidding me." Harvey gritted his teeth, he disdain for this son of a bitch was increasing exponentially second by second.

" _No I'm not, and Donna was horrified at that notion, Harvey. But I think it might explain why he seemed to come across as more than a friend to her. Him kissing her and getting handsy with her was at his instigation, not hers."_

Harvey didn't respond, but he felt another wave of nausea wash over him at the thought of Samuel's hands all over Donna, made worse now by the notion that his intentions might be more than a little sinister.

" _That's all that we know, Harvey,"_ Mike said. _"He left within minutes of Donna, and we haven't seen him since. Donna messaged Rachel on Sunday and apologized for leaving so abruptly, she assured us that she was okay and would call us to explain what happened, but we didn't hear from her again. Rachel tried calling her but she never picked up."_

"Okay, thanks to you both. Rachel…" he paused, trying to find the words to appease the woman that was obviously pissed off at him for treating her friend so badly. "Thank you for being there for her. I promise you, I'll put this right" he said with conviction.

" _Okay, Harvey. If you need me to do anything, don't hesitate to ask."_

"I will, I promise."

" _Harvey, I'll see you tomorrow,"_ Mike answered before the line clicked and went dead.

Harvey glanced at Samantha, who was back to looking angry again.

"What happened to keeping it discreet and not letting them know what's going on?" she snapped.

"We need Mike. We've already established that we think they know we are onto them, so I'm going to use every resource available to me to find Donna and sort this shit out once and for all."

Samantha huffed, but she nodded in agreement. Silence then fell in the car as they both considered everything Mike and Rachel had said.

"So… you and Donna kissed then?"

Harvey pursed his lips as he glared through the windscreen. "We're not discussing that. It's not relevant, so if it's okay with you, how about you start running through all that discovery with me" Harvey growled.

Samantha gave a little smirk, but opened her briefcase and retrieved several files and her laptop.

"Yes Sir. Message received, loud and clear!"


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

Harvey hated the smell of hospitals.

It was that nasty combination of disinfectant, antiseptic, food from meal trays, the slightly sickly aroma of get well flowers and something else indescribable that Harvey had always assumed was the scent of death.

He wrinkled his nose as he marched back towards Jim's room. The hospital stench wasn't doing anything to help ease the anxiety he felt, that was for sure.

They'd arrived late at the hospital, way after visiting hours had finished, but Harvey had made it abundantly clear to Samantha, that he had no intention of waiting until the morning to speak to Jim. After listening to all of her findings throughout the remainder of their journey to Connecticut, Harvey was even more determined to find out all he could from Donna's father, and he wanted to do so without any delay.

He had to admit, he'd been impressed with just how much she'd been able to unearth in the space of one day. She'd uncovered details of the deal that Jim was involved in, the company that he'd originally gone into business with, and now this new seemingly sinister band of criminals that had taken over the business venture. She'd obtained names, financial transactions, dates of meetings, but there were lots of gaps and missing information that Harvey was sure Jim could help them with.

While they knew that Jim was vital to them finding out what the hell was going on, Harvey was getting more and more frustrated with the fact that Donna was still missing and they had absolutely no idea where she was. He had tried calling her several more times from the car to no avail, and each unanswered call seemed to chip further away at his composure. The logical part of his brain knew that they had to approach this methodically, which wouldn't normally be a problem. That was his modus operandi after all. Switch off his emotions, focus on the task, stay calm and collected as he deals with the problem at hand and he'd be guaranteed to get the win.

However, this was Donna. She was in danger and he was struggling to keep his emotions in check. He didn't want to sit in a room with Jim Paulsen and talk about his shitty business deal. He wanted to be out there, actively looking for her, leaving no stone unturned and beating the shit out of anyone that stood in his way.

He turned the corner and spied Samantha in conversation with her ex army buddy as they stood outside Jim's door. They both looked up at Harvey as he approached and Samantha raised her eyebrows, questioning whether Harvey had managed to get permission from the nursing manager they needed.

"We're good," Harvey said. "We can have twenty minutes with him before he's due his next lot of meds, providing we don't upset him."

Samantha nodded then pointed to her colleague. "This is Pete by the way." Pete was looking Harvey up and down in surprise.

"How did you manage to get them to authorise that?" he asked.

"Specter charm," Harvey answered with a shrug and Samantha gave a smirk.

"How has he been? Had any visitors?" Harvey asked earnestly.

Pete shook his head. "Only the medical staff. He's been sleeping most of the evening, but he's awake now."

Harvey nodded, then held out his hand to the other man. "Thank you for this. We really appreciate you coming here and watching over him," he said with sincerity as Pete shook his hand and gave Harvey a nod.

"I've asked Pete to stay after we've gone, until we know for sure Jim's safe," Samantha whispered.

"You sure that's okay?" Harvey asked.

"Of course. Anything for Samantha," Pete responded without any hesitation, before giving them both a small smile and then sitting himself back down in the chair outside Jim's room.

Harvey reached for the door handle, but Samantha placed her hand on his arm pausing his movement. "Harvey… I know we need to get as much as we can from Jim but remember what he's been through. What he's going through. You need to go easy with him," she said softly in warning.

Harvey cocked his head to one side and glared at Samantha. "Are you done?" he snarled, not interested in reassuring her regarding his intentions with Jim.

Samantha removed her hand in surrender, her tongue lodged firmly in her cheek. Satisfied she wasn't going to delay him any further, Harvey pushed the door open and they stepped into Jim's hospital room.

Harvey was immediately shocked by the sight before him. Jim Paulsen was sitting slightly up in his bed, his head resting against several pillows. Surprisingly, considering the man had recently had surgery and had apparently almost lost his life, there weren't as many monitors, wires and machines hooked up to him, as Harvey thought there would be. He had a drip attached which seemed to be administering medication, probably painkillers, and a heart monitor was quietly beeping away behind him. What shocked Harvey, however, was Jim's physical appearance.

His face was swollen almost beyond recognition. His left eye was cut badly, as was his bottom lip. His nose was bandaged and Harvey surmised his cheekbone was probably fractured. Harvey had no doubt the man's whole body was covered in cuts and deep bruises and he suddenly felt sick at the notion that the people responsible for these injuries were most likely also holding Donna, doing God only knows what to her.

Jim's eyes flashed towards the door, and grew wide in surprise when they landed on Harvey.

"Harvey?" he croaked out as he tried to lift his head from the pillow, but immediately slumped back in obvious pain.

Harvey instantly stepped forward towards the bed and held his hand out towards Jim as though to warn the injured man not to try and move. "Jim. Take it easy okay?" he said quickly.

"Is Donna with you? Is she here?" Jim asked as he looked frantically around the room.

Harvey swallowed nervously. This was always going to be the most difficult part of their conversation, trying to keep Jim calm in his obvious distressed state.

"No, she's not Jim. I'm here with my colleague from the firm. This is Samantha Wheeler."

Samantha stepped forward to the end of Jim's bed. She gave him a nod and a small smile. Jim studied her for a few seconds, but then his eyes switched straight back to Harvey.

"Where's Donna? Where's my daughter? She was supposed to be here!" He was now glaring at Harvey.

Harvey took a deep breath before looking back at Donna's father with an unwavering stare. "Jim, Donna isn't here because she's missing—"

Before Harvey could say another word, Jim made a strangled sound as his eyes conveyed nothing but fear and panic. He looked petrified and the sound of the heart monitor indicated his heart rate had increased dramatically.

"Jim, I need you to calm down, okay? We are going to find her and we are going to sort this mess out, I promise you." Harvey had leaned over Jim and stared intently at him as he spoke.

"No!" Jim gasped, his breath still rapid and his eyes darting all over the place, as he grappled with the words he was hearing. "No...please, not Donna." The beeping from the monitor was still increasing and Harvey was beginning to worry that Jim would start to hyperventilate.

"Jim!" Harvey shouted. "I need you to calm down. Donna needs you to calm down."

That seemed to get the older man's attention, he looked back at Harvey, his distress still evident, but he seemed to regain his composure slightly.

Harvey bowed his head to him. "We will find her, and we will make sure she's safe, but in order to do that, we need your help. Donna needs your help, and time is critical. So I need you to focus, alright?" he said calmly.

Jim swallowed as he searched Harvey's eyes, as though seeking further assurance of his words. He then nodded at Harvey, who felt a release of tension as the beeping sound of the heart monitor abated.

"She told you, didn't she?" Jim whispered.

Harvey felt a stab of pain at the reminder that no, she hadn't told _him_ anything. She hadn't sought his help. As far as Jim was concerned though, that was mere semantics. So Harvey just dipped his head in acknowledgement. "She did, but not everything. That is why we are here—"

"Have they taken her?" Jim sobbed.

Samantha stepped around the bed so that she was standing behind Harvey. "We don't know for sure. We haven't heard anything from anyone. We just haven't been able to get a hold of her since this morning. Assuming they have though, we need to know as much as we can about these people."

"We need to know how this started, how they got involved in your business deal," Harvey added.

Jim closed his eyes briefly as he took a shuddering breath. He then looked between the two lawyers and gave a small nod. "I was in partnership with a good, reputable finance company—"

"Tilson group," Samantha interjected.

"Yes. They were providing most of the finance. Everything was great, we'd spent six months negotiating and planning. The development then began three months ago, I'd sourced all the contractors and everything was running smoothly, to plan and on time. They were happy, I was happy and so were all the contractors." He paused. "Then suddenly, Tilson group pulled their finances. No warning whatsoever. They wouldn't meet with me either, to explain, it made no sense. I just kept getting emails telling me the project was no longer in their best interest, or words to that effect. It was bullshit."

"Then what happened?" Harvey asked grimly.

"I was in a whole lot of mess. Building work had already begun, contractors were on site and suddenly I had no money. My cash flow was gone," Jim said.

"That's a breach of contract. Didn't you threaten to sue?" Samantha asked incredulously.

"Of course I did. They just referred me to their lawyers. My attorney was confident we had an open and shut case, no contest, but you both know how long these things can take, and time was something I didn't have. The building project had already started. There were other companies invested in it and they were looking to me to see it through. Then, just when I thought we'd lost everything, I got visited by two representatives from a new finance company."

"Our new friends from QCG Inc." Harvey clenched his fists. "Let me guess, they said they would provide all the finance you needed, with immediate effect, and you just said 'yes, please, where do I sign?'"

Jim nodded but he averted his eyes away from Harvey's glare.

"Goddammit, Jim. Did you not think to check them out? Have you never heard of due diligence?" he practically bellowed, his hackles raised at the thought of such a stupid move.

"Harvey!" Samantha warned.

Jim blanched. "I didn't have time! I literally had days left before the whole project was going to fall apart. We're talking about hundreds of jobs, other business enterprises that could go under—"

"Then you let them go under! That's what you have litigation for, for chrissake. Those people would have been compensated. What you don't fucking do, is get into bed with a company you know shit about."

Jim narrowed his eyes at Harvey. "I was trying to save peoples jobs—"

"You were trying to save your own neck," Harvey spat. "Well congratulations. You endangered Donna in the process!"

"Harvey, enough!" Samantha said in a loud whisper.

Jim had visibly paled, and his face creased in pain. Harvey instantly regretted his words, anger once again having got the better of him.

"I'm well aware of the danger I put my daughter in. I don't need a hypocrite like you to tell me so," Jim murmured.

Harvey winced at Jim's words, cognizant of the fact he was referring to all the times Harvey had placed Donna in danger as a result of his actions, not least, hiring Mike.

"Jim...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he said as he held his hand up with genuine remorse.

"We're running out of time," Samantha interjected. "They'll be in to do your meds soon, Jim. Can you briefly tell us what happened next?" she asked, anxious to get the information they needed before they were forced to leave.

Jim sighed. "The development was back in full swing. All was going well, and then they asked me to wire some additional funds through the business and out to an offshore account. It wasn't a huge amount, just under 100k. I questioned it and it soon became clear to me that it was dirty money. I said I wasn't happy doing it and they said if I didn't, they would pull all my finance. I couldn't go down that road again, so I just did it. I know I shouldn't have, but I thought that would be the end of it."

Harvey shook his head but said nothing.

"Then, a month later. They came to me again, only this time it was for a huge amount of money."

"How much?" Samantha asked.

"Just under a million dollars. I knew I couldn't say yes this time, especially as I had by now done some digging into QCG. They initially seemed like a legitimate finance company, but then I heard rumours that they were affiliated with the Karimov brothers. I realised that not only could I go down for serious fraud, but the money was probably dirty in ways I just couldn't bear to think about. So I refused." Jim had started trembling.

"That's when they threatened you?"

"Yes. I still refused, but then they mentioned Donna." He looked at Harvey helplessly. "They showed me pictures of her leaving her apartment, and I… I just panicked. I told them I'd do it, but they'd need to give me some time. I said that it was in all our best interests if I could find a way to do it that wouldn't immediately raise alarm bells."

Harvey's blood ran cold. He was now in no doubt that the Karimov brothers were responsible for Donna's disappearance.

"They agreed to give me a few days, but told me I couldn't breathe a word of any of this to anyone. Without help, I soon realised I needed longer. I asked for more time, but they refused. A day later I got jumped on my way home and the next thing I remember is waking up here, with Donna at my bedside."

Harvey stood up and walked towards the window, he squeezed his eyes shut as he braced his hands against the window ledge.

"Did you tell her everything?" he asked.

"Not initially. I told her I was mugged, but you know what she's like, Harvey. She knew straight away that I wasn't being honest with her, so I came clean and told her everything. I felt so ashamed, but I figured if she knew, at least she might be on her guard." Jim began weeping then.

Harvey turned away from the window and looked back across the room at Jim. He pictured Donna sitting at his bedside, having to listen to her father's sorry tale. He imagined her despair, her fear, her worry for this man that infuriated Harvey, but whom he knew she loved deeply. Then he realised just how alone she must have felt in all of this. There was no doubt in his mind that had this all happened a year ago, she would have come straight to him and asked that he fix the situation, regardless of the threats made to her father. They had always trusted each other implicitly, and she'd always had faith in him, no matter the circumstances. He would have fixed this problem, without a doubt.

But this wasn't a year ago, this was happening now. It was happening after months of him pushing Donna away, months of him making her feel that he was no longer there for her, no longer her friend. He was sure that she still had faith in him, faith in his skills and abilities, but the fact that she'd obviously felt she couldn't come to him for help and support when she most needed it was crucifying him. Now she was missing, and the situation was ten times worse than it could have been.

"Where is the money now?" Samantha asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"It's sitting in the project's corporate account," Jim answered.

The door suddenly opened and a nurse entered carrying a chart and medication. "Times up, I'm afraid. Mr Paulsen needs his meds, and he needs to rest." She busied herself checking her paperwork as Harvey crossed the room and stood next to Jim's bedside.

"It goes without saying that if anyone contacts you, you let us know immediately. You have my number, yes?"

Jim nodded. "Take my keys, Harvey, you can both stay at my house. My laptop and any paperwork you need will be there too. Take whatever you need. Just promise me you'll find her and bring her safely home. I don't care what happens to me, just make sure my baby girl is safe," he choked out as he looked at Harvey with pleading eyes.

"I will, Jim. I promise."

They left shortly after. Samantha had another quiet word with Pete while Harvey updated the nursing manager, discreetly allaying her fears as to the reason there was someone standing guard outside Jim's door.

Less than fifteen minutes later they had pulled up outside Jim's house, having hardly spoken a word to each other. Samantha seemed to sense that Harvey was struggling with the situation, and although she was conscious she needed to help keep him focused and out of a pit drenched in regret and guilt, she was also aware that they were both fatigued. He needed downtime, and he needed to process. She'd seen it many times in the battlefield, and that's what she likened this situation to. A highly tense, high stakes battle. She also recognised that it had now become Harvey's battle to fight, and he was the best person to lead the charge. She might not like working with others, but she was slowly adapting to working in a team and in this situation, she was happy to be Harvey's wingman.

Harvey unlocked the front door, and they stepped inside. The property was in complete darkness so Harvey flicked the light switch, bathing the hallway in light. They were standing in front of a staircase, the kitchen straight ahead, and the living room appeared to be to their right. It seemed a simple, but well kept abode.

"We should have a look around. Make sure no-one has been here. Find his laptop—"

"Harvey, I think we should get some rest," Samantha interrupted. Harvey looked as though he was about to protest. "Even if it's just for a couple of hours. It's late and we're going to need our wits about us tomorrow."

"You think I could sleep?" he scoffed.

"I think you should try," she countered.

Harvey continued to protest for the next few minutes, clearly anxious that they should be pressing on with their investigations. Eventually, he conceded to Samantha's reasoned argument that he'd be no good to Donna tomorrow if he was dead on his feet.

Harvey spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling of Jim's spare bedroom. His mind awash with every piece of startling information it had been subjected to that day. He felt frustrated. It was becoming abundantly clear that unless the CCTV from Grand Central Station provided them with any revelations tomorrow, they weren't going to be any nearer to finding out where Donna was. If she had been abducted, they needed to wait for her captors, or captor to make contact. Harvey could be patient when he needed to be. It was something he had to do regularly in many cases. Wait patiently and allow the other side to cave, but once again, this was different. He felt powerless with this wait, he didn't have a trump card. He had nothing. All they could do was try to solve the original problem that Jim had been presented with in the hope they could gain some leverage over the other side. Except, try as he might, he couldn't focus. His mind kept wandering, constantly imagining where Donna might be, what she was doing, how she might be suffering. It felt like torture. A combination of helplessness and guilt consumed him, and although he knew it was not productive, he couldn't stop his mind from going there.

With dawn fast approaching, he eventually gave up on trying to sleep, and he made his way downstairs.

After rummaging through Jim's kitchen cupboards, he found some ground coffee and filter papers and set about making a pot of coffee. As he waited for it to percolate, he stepped into Jim's living room.

The place was smartly but sparsely furnished, a three seater couch coupled with a single armchair and a TV in the corner. An extensive bookcase filled one wall with a desk and chair at the opposite end by the window. It wasn't too dissimilar to Harvey's own decor, in that it clearly lacked a female touch. It was less luxurious and opulent for sure, but it did have some warmth that Harvey's condo lacked. That warmth came from the many family pictures that were liberally scattered around the room. Mostly of Donna.

Harvey walked over to the mantelpiece, and picked up one of the photo's frames that had taken pride of place there. It was different from many of the other standard posed photos, this one appeared to have been taken in a spontaneous moment. She was looking over her shoulder at the camera, the widest open smile on her face indicating she was laughing at the time. Her beautiful red hair filled the rest of the frame as it seemed to be blowing in the wind. Harvey 's breath hitched as he gazed at the photo. It had been so long since he'd seen her laugh like that, with such joy and abandon.

"Did you manage to get any sleep?" Samantha's voice broke through the silence in the room. Harvey placed the photo carefully back on the mantelpiece before turning around. He gave her a look that confirmed her suspicions.

She shook her head.

"Coffee is ready. How do you take it?" she asked.

"Black with a drop of v…" he stopped himself, biting his lip. "Just black, thanks."

Samantha looked at him curiously but then nodded before turning back toward the kitchen.

Harvey breathed a heavy sigh as he walked across to Jim's desk in the corner. He spotted the laptop he had mentioned, and picked it up, plugging it into the wall and switching it on. As he waited for it to boot up, he noticed a large brown envelope placed on the edge of the desk. It had already been opened, so Harvey slid his finger under the flap to empty the contents. His stomach lurched as several large black and white photos spilled out onto the desk. He splayed them out with his hand, his eyes darting across each one. They were all surveillance photographs and they were all of Donna. Most of them were of her coming and going from her apartment, or outside of work, but there was one of her walking out of a bar and she was walking alongside Samuel. He felt his chest tighten as he peered more closely at it. Samuel appeared to be in mid conversation, his mouth open and his hands gesticulating. Donna was smiling softly at whatever he was saying.

"I take it those are the photo's Jim was referring to?" Samantha asked. She was peering over Harvey's shoulders, two steaming cups of coffee in her hands.

"Look." Harvey pointed at the last photograph.

Samantha put the coffee's down on the desk and picked up the photo. She then looked up at Harvey with a frown.

"Samuel... but if he's in the photo, he can't be the one taking it," she said.

"He's still our number one suspect. I never said that he had to be working alone, Samantha. The Karimov brothers have many employees."

"I know, but we also said we'd try to keep an open mind. He could still be an innocent party in this," she reasoned.

Harvey bit his bottom lip, but he didn't respond. He was still convinced that Samuel was involved, but Samantha was right, they had to keep an open mind. Harvey picked up his coffee and took a large sip, the hot liquid burning his throat but awakening his senses. Before he could say another word, the sound of three loud knocks from the front door reverberated around the house.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds. Harvey glanced at the clock, it was 7:30am, still quite early.

"I'll go," he said.

He made his way down the hallway, nerves on edge. He took a tentative breath as he stepped up to the front door and looked through the spyhole. The first genuine smile he'd managed for days broke out on his face as he immediately unhooked the chain and swung the door open.

"You're early!"

"When Batman calls for help, Robin answers straight away!" Mike grinned. He gave Harvey a brief hug, before stepping past him into the hallway.

"I basically got the first flight I could last night. From what you told us on the phone, there was no way I was going to wait until the morning."

"Thanks Mike," Harvey said, as he patted his friend's arm. "Listen, it's not just me and you. Samantha is here too. She was the one that came to be about all of this."

Mike looked a little surprised, but he nodded as they walked into the living room. He immediately acknowledged Samantha before throwing his bag down on the floor and looking back at Harvey. "Okay, how about you both bring me up to date with exactly what's going on?"

Harvey and Samantha spent the next hour briefing Mike on everything they knew, from Samantha's investigations to their conversation with Jim. Mike looked more and more horror stricken as the story progressed. He was quickly reading through some of the paperwork Samantha had provided, detailing the business deal that Jim was involved in.

"Here's what I don't get," he said suddenly. "Jim was right, this was a good deal, and everything was running smoothly and on schedule which is unusual for a building project. It's a great deal and it would have made all parties involved a lot of money."

"So?" Samantha frowned.

"So why did the Tilson group pull out? This wasn't a case of them trying to get out of a shitty deal. It's a good project Jim had here, and pulling out when they did not only meant they must have lost a shit ton of money, but it opened them up to a huge expensive lawsuit."

"You're saying they were forced to pull out." Harvey grimaced.

"It's the most obvious explanation. QCG threatens Tilson to get them to back out of the deal and then they swoop in just at the point Jim is about to lose everything. I'd say that they were behind this right from the beginning. Which means this was all premeditated to get Jim in the position he's in now."

Harvey sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he contemplated what Mike was suggesting. "Why though? I mean a million dollars is a lot of money to launder, granted, but this is all very convoluted and risky, especially with someone like Jim Paulsen."

"I don't think so, Harvey," Samantha interjected. "I'd say Jim is the perfect candidate. His project is big enough to handle a transaction of this size and he's not exactly squeaky clean, is he? I've no doubt they know about him inflating his assets a few years ago and the trouble he got into with the DA. He's the perfect target."

Harvey leant back against the couch with a sigh as he rubbed his temple. He then slammed his fist down by his side in frustration. "Why haven't we heard from them yet? That's what's really getting to me. She's been missing for nearly 24 hours now and still nothing. If he's laid one finger on her..." his voice trailed off, as he squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to remove the images that his imagination had conjured up.

A look briefly crossed between Mike and Samantha, then Mike closed the file on his lap and he leant forward towards Harvey.

"Harvey, we can't jump to conclusions. I'm sure we will hear from them in good time," he paused before taking a deep breath. "I did some more digging on Samuel after your phone call last night."

Harvey's eyes snapped up to Mike. "And?"

"I found out from the hotel that his full name is Samuel Lang and he is CSO for an asset finance firm called Xifaris Capital Management. I looked into this company and they seem completely legitimate. So, I ran through the list of all their contacts, investors, clients...everyone. I didn't see any connection with QCG or the Karimov brothers. I don't think he's involved with them, Harvey," he said cautiously, already well aware of Harvey's view of the man.

"How can you be sure about that, Mike?" Samantha asked with a confused frown. "You only found out about QCG and the Karimov's today?"

"He has a photographic memory," Harvey said with a heavy sigh, as he slumped back against the couch again in defeat.

Mike gave a little shrug. "Once I read something, I never forget it. If I'd come across them in my findings, I'd remember."

"What about his personal life?" Harvey asked.

"Not a great deal there. Fairly average. He grew up in New Jersey, no siblings. His mother died when he was young, his father remarried and now lives in Oregon. He was in the military for a while, that's probably how he got into security. He travels a lot with his job. He's solvent, no debts. Never married. I'm sorry, Harvey, but once again, I didn't come across any connection with the Karimov's."

"It feels like just when I think we might be getting somewhere, we take two steps back." Harvey mumbled dejectedly.

Harvey shook his head and the three of them sat in silence for a moment, until it was broken when Samantha's phone pinged. She glanced at her phone and then immediately stood up and grabbed her laptop.

"My contact has just sent through the CCTV from Grand Central Station," she said quickly. She fired up her laptop then placed it on the coffee table in front of them, turning it around so they could all see the screen.

"I doubt this is going to show us much, other than to clarify that they were there, and the time they left the station...but you never know," she said, as she clicked on a file that had been emailed to her.

The screen filled with a black and white video clip of the main concourse of the terminal. The time stamp in the corner showed 9.16am, and whilst there appeared to be many people walking back and forth across the concourse, the terminal didn't appear to be too busy.

It was only a few seconds before Harvey spotted Donna straight away. She was standing by the departures board, and she appeared to be on her cell phone.

"There she is," he pointed, his heart in his mouth as he recognized her long wavy hair, even though the image was not in colour. He watched her as she spoke, thankful that the image was so clear, but also regretful that he could clearly see the look of anguish on her face.

"I bet that's me she's talking to there," Samantha said. "It's about the time that we spoke. Where's Samuel though?"

They all peered closer, scouring the screen for any sign of him.

"There…" Mike pointed. Samuel had approached Donna with what appeared to be two cups of coffee. He handed one to her as they exchanged a few words.

"What a hero!" Harvey quipped. Samantha and Mike exchanged another look, but didn't respond.

Suddenly the mood in the room changed. The next few seconds of video footage, caused a deafening, painful silence to fall between them. All three lawyers stared at the laptop screen in horror.

As Donna had turned away to leave the station, with her new friend just behind her, Samuel suddenly paused. He turned to look over his shoulder and straight into the lens of the CCTV camera.

He lifted his hand and gave a small wave, winked at the camera with a smirk on his face, before quickly turning back around to follow Donna out of the station.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apologies that this chapter took a little longer than normal. I really struggled with minor plot details and got myself into a bit of a tizz over it. I think I got there in the end though, and I really hope you still enjoy this story.

* * *

She was reaching for something. She wasn't sure what that something was but her arms were outstretched, fingers straining, but to no avail.

Try as she might, no matter how much effort she exerted, she sensed that whatever it was, it was slipping further away from her. A dead, heavy weight would pull her back down, back into a dark abyss.

The darkness consumed her. It was soundless, heavy and suffocating. Her breath constricted as she desperately tried to grasp out into the emptiness and profound tenebrosity. The unbearable pressure that was now weighing her down from all sides was almost paralysing. With one last gasp, she succumbed to the shadows, yielding her last hope of resistance.

She wasn't sure how long she lay, helpless in obscurity, but slowly she discerned that the darkness had abated, her limbs felt lighter and the blackness gave way to a veil of grey. She sensed movement and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity she thought she recognised sounds, maybe voices.

She felt that desire again. A yearning to reach out, to grasp hold of, to run to...what? Her mind was muddled but her instinct to reach out was intense. She tried to lift her arms again, but didn't seem able to move them. She tried to call out, but no sound came. She was struggling to make sense of not only her surroundings, but also her thoughts and feelings. Was she dreaming? It felt like a dream. Everything was off kilter, not quite real or tangible.

Then she heard him. He was whispering her name in that special way that only he could. That soft timbre that permeated through every fibre of her being and set her bones alight. She tried to move her head towards his voice, to call out to him, to reach out to him, but once again she was just out of touch. She thought she could see him, or a shadow of him at least, yet as she sensed his presence coming closer she also bizarrely felt him slipping away. A sudden iciness washed through her veins and desperation gripped her as she once again fought against the now familiar pull from the depths beneath her. Internally she was screaming for him, yet she made no sound. Once again she collapsed into the darkness.

* * *

"Harvey!"

The sound of glass shattering filled the room, as remnants of Mike's orange juice steadily dripped down the wall.

"Tell me again, Mike!" Harvey thundered as he rounded on his friend.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me again how you found no connection between that bastard and the Karimov brothers," Harvey seethed, his breathing shallow as he willed himself to keep calm.

"Harvey—"

"Tell me again that he's not involved, I fucking dare you!"

Harvey was raging. The fear and anguish he had been feeling since Samantha had come to him with her concerns, had increased tenfold. He'd known, right from the outset that Samuel was involved. He'd felt it in his gut. His natural instinct had not let him down, yet he had allowed a little doubt to seep in. Conscious of his impartiality with Donna, Paula's relentless psychoanalytic voice forever in his ear, telling him that he couldn't be impartial when it came to his favourite redhead, coupled with Mike's lack of findings had allowed him to doubt his normal trusted instinct.

"Harvey. This isn't Mike's fault. I didn't see any connection either. That doesn't mean it's not there. We just have to look deeper to find it," Samantha placated.

Harvey squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he needed to calm down. He needed to think rationally if he was going to be any use to anybody. Any use to Donna.

_Donna._

The nausea he'd felt at seeing the CCTV images had given way to a feeling of sheer desperation. She was at the mercy of a man they knew virtually nothing about. He'd never felt so helpless or useless.

"Harvey, I understand how difficult this is, but we will find the connection. I promise you," Mike said earnestly.

Harvey looked back at his friend, the despair he felt acutely written all over his face. Mike had stepped towards him, his hand placed on Harvey's shoulder not only to comfort him, but also to ground him in an attempt to stop him spiralling out of control. With the exception of Donna, no one understood Harvey better than Mike. If this concerned anyone else, Mike was sure that Harvey would already be operating on autopilot. Emotions would be switched off and he would be coming up with several possible solutions to the problem at hand. However, Donna was always the exception with Harvey. If she was under threat, all his normal rules and method of operating went straight out of the window.

"You were right, Harvey, about Samuel. But you being proved right, is all that has changed," Mike reasoned.

"No! It's not," Harvey countered. "He looked at the camera, Mike. He was looking directly at us. He knew that someone would be checking that CCTV and he knew that it would be us."

"Samuel must have known that Donna had come to me," Samantha said with a shake of her head. "We know they've been watching her—"

"And you said that he was asking a lot of questions at the wedding. He wanted to know all about us, how we operate," Harvey cut in. "He was waiting to see if she would go to someone at the firm for help, and she either told Samuel she had or they found out some other way."

"Are you suggesting that once they realised that Donna had revealed to Samantha what was going on, they took her to scare us off from investigating any further?" Mike asked nervously.

"I don't know what I'm suggesting, Mike. None of this makes sense. They beat up Jim, almost killing him. How is he supposed to carry out their demands if he's in intensive care? They then take Donna before Jim has any chance to capitulate, which would indicate that her abduction has nothing to do with them coercing her father. So why take her? If it's purely to stop us from digging, why haven't we heard anything from them yet? If they want to scare us off by kidnapping Donna, you'd think they'd have let us know about it as soon as it was done. Not just wait for us to slowly realise she's missing. It just doesn't add up."

Harvey was now pacing the room, a discernible nervous and agitated energy about him. He knew he was missing something. A piece of the puzzle that would help shed light on events and hopefully not only solve this nightmare but also point the way to finding Donna.

"Okay, Harvey," Mike said. "How about I take what Samantha has found out about QCG and the Karimov brothers and see what more I can find?"

Harvey stopped pacing and looked back at his friend. He nodded in agreement before turning to Samantha. "Do you think you could find out what you can about Samuel's army career? See if that leads us anywhere."

"I can make a few calls, yes. I'll also check in on Pete. Make sure Jim's had no unexpected visitors… and Harvey?" she paused. "It might be an idea to let Robert and Louis know about the situation."

Harvey shook his head vehemently.

"Harvey, we need to at least explain why we aren't at work," she reasoned.

Harvey gave a heavy sigh. "Okay, I'll call Robert and give him a brief lowdown, but I am NOT speaking to Louis. If he finds out Donna is missing, he'll be here faster than you can say 'shit's gone sideways', and there's no way I can deal with a histrionic Louis right now."

Without another word to one another, they each began to work through the tasks they had assigned themselves. Samantha made a fresh pot of coffee whilst simultaneously calling a few of her army contacts to see if she could find anything on Samuel that might help them.

Harvey dutifully called Robert and gave him enough information, albeit cryptically, so that the older man was aware that something serious had happened but that it was best if he didn't ask too many questions about it.

As he ended the call with Robert, he noticed with a sinking feeling that he had received about four missed calls from Paula. He knew he should probably call her and update her, especially as he had promised her that he would, but he just didn't currently have the stomach for that conversation. She would no doubt insist again that they contact the authorities, and whilst he wouldn't rule out getting them involved at some point, until they knew all there was to know about the people they were dealing with, Harvey had no intention of calling it in. He was becoming more and more certain that in order to get everyone out of this shitty situation unscathed, they would no doubt have to do something shady and most definitely questionable. The fewer witnesses to that, the better.

He sat back down on the couch and reached for one of the files that Mike had already read, digested and discarded. His former protege had moved on to Jim's laptop, speedily clicking through and absorbing everything he could find. An uneasy silence had settled in the room as the two of them desperately tried to find the snippet of information that might crack open the case for them.

Samantha had returned with three more cups of coffee, her phone nestled in the crook of her neck as she was verbally nodding to whoever was on the other end of the line. She gave Harvey a little shake of her head, indicating she hadn't found out anything useful as yet.

They continued like this for some time, until the steady sounds of Mike's fingers tapping the keyboard, the rustling of paperwork in Harvey's lap and the soft steps of Samantha as she paced the living room were interrupted by the harsh ringing of Jim's home telephone.

Everyone paused what they were doing, looking at each other with trepidation. Before either one of them had a chance to make the decision to answer the call, the sound of Jim's voice on his answer service kicked in, advising that he wasn't available and cheerily inviting the caller to leave a message. The machine made it's obligatory beeping tone, and they all held their breath as they waited to see if the caller would say anything.

Initially there was silence, but after a few seconds an unfamiliar voice sounded through the answer phone.

" _Harvey Specter!... I know you're there. How about you pick up and we can all have a little chat about our current predicament?"_

Everyone froze for a split second, but then Harvey sprung out of his seat and dashed over to Jim's desk. He hastily pressed the speaker button on the machine as he looked back at his two friends with a frantic expression.

"I'm here. Who am I speaking to?" he asked, his voice surprisingly steady considering the extreme nervous tension he was feeling.

" _That's not really relevant. What's important is who I represent."_

"The Karimov Brothers," Harvey said bitterly.

" _Very Good. I'm glad to see that the bit of time we've given you to do your homework, wasn't wasted," the voice was eerily calm and friendly, and it sent chills up Harvey's spine._

"Where's Donna?" Harvey snapped, not willing to play the game.

The man on the other end of the other line gave a little chuckle. _"Patience, Mr Specter. Or can I call you Harvey?"_

"Where the fuck is Donna? What have you done to her?" Harvey's patience had run out, and the crack in his voice betrayed his earlier confident tone.

_"We'll get to that in a moment—"_

"Like hell we will. You're going to tell me what you've done with Donna right now, or I'm not saying another word," Harvey interrupted.

_"Harvey, while I admire your bravado, I hardly think you are in any position to make demands. I suggest you rethink your strategy or I'll insist on speaking to one of your two stooges there instead...or even worse, I'll just end this call right now."_ The man's voice was still calm but was now devoid of any pretense of friendliness.

Harvey gritted his teeth as he took a deep breath. "You may currently be holding a better hand, but all the cards haven't been dealt yet, and I already know you want something from us. So if we're going to solve this 'predicament' as you call it, I need to know you're not going to deal in bad faith. I need to know that she's okay. Non negotiable," Harvey said unwaveringly.

Mike and Samantha were both staring at Harvey wide eyed, apparently a little shocked at his approach. Harvey glanced across at them, and with one look he assured them he knew exactly what he was doing, a steely look of determination deep in his eyes.

The man on the other end of the line gave another soft chuckle.

_"You really don't disappoint, Harvey. I suppose I shouldn't expect any less from New York's finest closer. However, as much as I'd love to do this back and forth with you all day, we really do need to get down to business, so, here's what's going to happen. You are going to get into that very nice Aston Martin Vanquish of yours and drive to The Beaufort Casino Club in Bridgeport. You are going to come unarmed and alone. Your two little helpers, I'm afraid, are not invited. You will of course not say a word to anyone about this meeting and we expect you to be here within two hours. If you can do that, I promise that we'll not only update you regarding Donna Paulsen's current condition, but we may even let you see her."_

Harvey felt the air leave his lungs as the weight of the man's words resonated through every fibre of his being.

"What do you mean, her current condition?" He choked out, the panic rising like bile from his gut.

_"You have two hours, Harvey. Don't be late."_

The line went dead.

Harvey slumped forward over Jim's desk as his legs buckled beneath him. His breathing had become laboured, and his skin began to glisten with perspiration. Gasping for air, he tried to steady himself as his surroundings blurred. He could hear Mike's voice but his words were muffled, as though he were talking under water.

Mike had shot out of his seat and rushed over to his friend, placing a hand on Harvey's back.

"It's okay, Harvey. Just breathe," Mike said. He turned his head towards Samantha. "Go get a glass of water...please."

"Is he having a heart attack?" Samantha asked, looking more than a little alarmed.

'No, it's a panic attack. He needs some water," Mike responded, more urgently.

Samantha wasted no time fetching the glass of water, which Harvey took with a trembling hand. The liquid sploshed over his arm as he shakily brought it to his lips, chugging down several gulps. The sound of his heart beating wildly in his ears practically drowned out Mike's words as his friend attempted to calm him down. He tried to look up, his eyes bulging and his face red. He was still struggling to breathe properly.

"Trash c…" he barely managed to cough out.

Samantha quickly grabbed the trash can that was under Jim's desk and held it out for Harvey who grasped hold of it, leant over it and then promptly threw up.

Mike and Samantha stood helplessly next to him as his retching subsided. He was still panting, and the sweat was now dripping down his face, but he seemed to be calming down.

"I'm okay," he wheezed, as he slowly staggered away from Jim's desk. Samantha helped him to the couch as Mike took care of the soiled bin, grabbing another glass of water in the process.

"Here, drink this," Mike said as he returned to the living room, holding out the glass.

"Thanks," Harvey whispered. He took a few sips, and then closed his eyes, leaning his head back, so that it rested on the couch cushions. His breathing was more steady now, and he lifted his hand to wipe the sweat from his brow. As he did so, his face crumpled up in anguish. The recent bone-chilling words spoken by that bastard, reverberating around his brain.

"If they've hurt her in any way—"

"Don't go there, Harvey," Samantha interrupted. "That piece of shit was just trying to goad you."

Harvey inhaled slowly and heavily, his fists balled at his sides as he willed himself, with all his might to keep the panic at bay.

"Samantha's right, don't dwell on what you can't control. Let's focus on the fact that now they've made contact, we might finally get some answers," Mike added.

"I'm still going to be walking into this more or less blind though, aren't I? We don't have anything on them," Harvey said desperately.

"Not yet," Samantha replied. "But you were right earlier when you said they want something from you, and until they get that, despite what that asshole said, it's unlikely that they'll do anything to Donna. They need her as a bargaining chip in order to coerce you."

Harvey gritted his teeth, his jaw rigid. He didn't disagree with Samantha's words, but just because The Karimov brothers needed Donna alive, that didn't guarantee that they hadn't hurt her in some way.

He needed to see her, desperately, and he wasn't going to waste another moment.

"I have to get going." Harvey stood with a slight wobble. The after-effects of his panic attack evident as the rush of adrenaline still lingered in his bloodstream.

"Are you sure you're okay to do this, Harvey?" Mike asked as he looked worriedly at his friend and mentor.

Harvey tilted his head and glared back at Mike. The younger man instantly raised his hands in defense.

"Okay, Okay. Stupid question, I know," he mumbled, as he watched Harvey collect his coat and keys.

"Harvey, I can have someone shadow you, keep an eye on you and make sure you're okay," Samantha offered.

Harvey shook his head. "No, I need to do this alone just as they demanded. They seem to know every step we take, so for now, I'm gonna do exactly what they've asked. They've got Donna and I won't risk her."

He made his way down the hallway to the front door, as Samantha and Mike followed, a sense of deep unease palpable in the air. As he reached the front door, Harvey turned to face his two friends.

"As soon as I'm able to call you, I will," he said.

The three of them looked at each other in silence. The knowledge of what Harvey was about to do, and the clear and present danger that he would soon be walking into, unspoken between them.

"We'll keep digging," Mike said, the air thick with tension.

Harvey opened the door. "Just find me something on these mother fuckers," he said angrily, before stepping through the front door.

* * *

She thought she might be moving. Then again, her senses kept betraying her. Sounds, smells, touch...even sight kept changing, morphing.

She had no concept just how many times she had sunk into the darkness and re-emerged into a muffled blanket of grey. Her perception of the passage of time was also skewed. The only constant she was aware of was this forever pattern of falling, nothingness, rising, yearning, reaching and then being pulled back into the abyss, over and over again. It felt like an endless torturous cycle.

But what stayed and lingered with her the most, was _him_.

Every time the darkness abated, the desire to reach for him overwhelmed her. She sensed him, felt him near, heard him whispering her name, but no matter how hard she tried she could never reach him. What tormented her the most was just when she felt he might hear her, just at the point she thought she might finally touch him as she grasped for him, the iciness would return to her veins and she'd be pulled away from him, back into the blackness, the nothingness, doomed to repeat the pattern again.

She thought she could hear voices again, although the sounds drifted in and out like a radio being constantly tuned far off in the distance. She tried to turn her head. She thought she could see darker shadows now forming across the muted veil of grey. Her skin tingled as the longing to reach out for him returned with a vengeance. Once again, she tried to call out.

This time she managed to make a muffled cry.

The shadows before her began to move closer. She tried to reach out to him, to call his name, but her arms still felt like dead weights and she only managed to groan. He was looming over her now and she tried desperately to grab hold of him, to beg for him to hold her, to help her before the iciness crept up on her once more, and dragged her away from him.

Only this time, the iciness never came. Instead, the shadows began to morph into clearer images, and she was suddenly aware that the man she yearned for was now crouched down by her side, his hand softly stroking her face.

Relief flooded her bones. She slowly managed to lift her weak arms, as she blinked several times, trying desperately to focus her still blurred vision.

"H..Harvey?" she croaked out, her mouth and throat parched.

"Shhhhh," he soothed. He was alternating between stroking her hair and running his fingers gently down her cheek.

She sobbed as she tried to grasp hold of his fingers with her limp hand. Her vision was still struggling to find focus as she gazed up at him, desperately seeking out his warm brown eyes.

Their eyes met, and she frowned in confusion as a pair of sparkling blue orbs, stared down at her.

"Shhhhh," he whispered again. "It's okay, Donna. I'm right here."

She instantly recoiled from his touch, her senses sharpening with each passing second. Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool, and her surroundings continued to blur and distort. Her limbs still felt numb and a sickening sense of nausea was rising from her stomach. What she felt more than anything though, and overwhelmingly so, was a deep sense that something was very, very wrong.

"Samuel?" she wheezed.

He smiled at her as he continued to run his fingers through her silky auburn hair.

"Shhhh. You need to be quiet, sweetheart."

She was trembling now as she stared at him. Her mind was desperately trying to process where she was and what was happening. Nothing seemed to be connecting in her brain, and her dire need to make sense of the situation was not being helped by her still distorted vision, the pounding in her ears and a growing desire to throw up.

"What's h..happening...where's Harvey?" she managed to garble out, her speech slurred.

Samuel placed his finger on her lips. "Harvey will be here soon enough, but if you want to see him, I need you to do as you're told," he said softly.

"But… I...I don't understand," she said with an increase in volume as she became more alarmed.

"You have to be quiet, Donna."

"My father—"

"Unless you want me to _make_ you shut up."

Donna's eyes widened and her blood ran cold as she studied his face. He was still smiling at her, but she now saw a distinct coldness in those icy blue eyes. The realization that this man was not who she thought he might be was rapidly dawning on her, and she felt her heart rate increase rapidly.

"That's better," he said as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Now, I want you to listen to me carefully. You don't have to worry about your father anymore. He's more than served his purpose and from what I hear, he's going to make a full recovery." He beamed at her.

Donna just stared at him, rigid with fear.

Samuel gave a light chuckle as he picked up her hand and pressed a light kiss against her fingers. She felt her insides churn and the desire to bolt burned through her.

"I can see you're a little confused, Donna. That's okay. I'm afraid I can't tell you too much, but rest assured we were never really interested in Jim. He was a means to an end really, it just took a little longer than we anticipated." Samuel laughed softly as he shook his head. He reached out with his other hand and ran a finger down her arm. Donna wanted to scream, but she didn't dare move.

"No, it was always Harvey that we wanted." He stood up, leaned across her and placed a kiss against her forehead. "...and now he's on his way."

Donna let out a gasp and a sob as a tear trickled down the side of her face.


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

The two men sat across the table from each other, neither one prepared to be the first to break eye contact.

They had been sizing each other up for a few minutes now, but to Harvey it felt like a few hours.

He had arrived at The Beaufort Casino Club fifteen minutes earlier after what had to have been one of the most harrowing car journeys he'd ever made. He had just about managed to keep the guilt, nerves, and panic at bay, knowing it would not serve him well here. Those feelings would undoubtedly destroy any chance he might have of solving this crisis and more importantly, safeguarding Donna.

The temptation to dwell on the veiled remark made on that phone call and in turn allow his tortured imagination to speculate as to what might be happening to her, had been overwhelming. However, every time on the hour-long journey to Bridgeport he'd felt his mind go there, he had forcibly pushed it away from his thoughts. He had to focus. He was on his own now, and he was about to walk into a situation the most blind he had ever been when heading into a negotiation. Not only that, the stakes could not be higher.

By the time he had pulled up outside of the club, he'd managed to temper his nerves to the point that he felt relatively calm. Deep down he was still in anguish and turmoil, but on the surface he was resolute. Determination and a stubborn refusal that these bastards would get the better of him flooded his system.

The casino was a two-story building that was situated near the coastline of the East End neighborhood of the city. There was nothing remarkable about it. It was flanked on either side by an Irish bar that had seen better days, and a modest but well-kept roadside hotel. Harvey surmised that the club was intentionally inconspicuous.

He'd approached the front door of The Beaufort with a confidence in his step that belied his trepidation. He was met by two meaty bouncers who nodded at him without even asking who he was. One of them led him through a dimly lit hallway whilst the other followed closely behind.

He was escorted across a spacious floor that appeared to host most of the roulette, blackjack and Craps tables. Due to the time of day, there was only a smattering of customers, desperate gamblers no doubt frittering away what pittance they had left, chasing that elusive win. Harvey quickly scanned the room anyway as he strode through, before coming to a halt at a discreet door that was situated behind the bar. Bouncer number one opened it and with a menacing grin, he indicated that Harvey should step through.

The room on the other side of the door was even more dimly lit. The deeply scarlet painted walls were adorned with a few non-descript pictures and some lacklustre wall lights that did little to add any real brightness to the room. There was a small, seemingly well-stocked bar positioned in the corner, and a suite of dark leather couches lined the walls. In the centre of the room was a large circular table with several chairs placed around it, and three ceiling lights that hung low, directly above. A private poker table, no doubt.

Harvey was told to take a seat at the table, which he did. The two heavies then stationed themselves at opposite ends of the room.

He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably no more than ten minutes. He knew what they were doing, leaving him to fester, allowing his anxiety levels to peak so that he was well primed. He fixed his gaze on the painting opposite him, a gaudy abstract print of turquoise and burnt orange. As he stared at the picture, he used the time to steady his train of thought, calm his nerves, determined not to succumb to their tactics.

Eventually, the door opened and several dark-suited men entered the room, accompanied by a couple more muscled bodyguards. Harvey darted his eyes across the new arrivals, deducing quickly that the third man in the group was the man in charge, and therefore, no doubt the one he was about to have a conversation with. He wore the most expensive suit, if not a little too flashy, and he accompanied it with an air of arrogance and authority that was unmistakable. Harvey's assumption was affirmed when one of the new heavies promptly pulled out a chair for this man to sit down, directly opposite Harvey. He studied the man more closely as he watched him take the seat.

He appeared to be just below average height, a slim build but with wide shoulders. He had a strong face. High cheekbones coupled with a heavy jawline and a narrow pointed chin were offset by a pair of deep-set, almond shaped eyes. Those eyes were now in turn, taking the measure of Harvey as he looked him up and down with a slight smirk on his face.

After sizing each other up for those few long minutes, Harvey decided enough was enough. He was willing to play the game, but he'd be damned if he was going to play by their rules.

"So, which Karimov are you?... no, don't tell me." Harvey gestured across the table, as he pointedly looked him up and down. "You're the younger brother. Roman Karimov."

The man gave a wide smile, but Harvey noted the tiniest hint of unease in his expression at Harvey's correct assumption.

"Lucky guess," Roman said, still smiling.

"No," Harvey said unwaveringly. "It's quite obvious, actually."

"How so?"

Harvey gave a little shrug. "A number of factors really, all of which scream to me 'younger sibling syndrome'."

Roman quirked an eyebrow, indicating subtly that he expected Harvey to elaborate.

Harvey sighed. "That suit screams exhibitionist, which tells me you probably vie for attention all the time from your older, more intelligent brother. You feel under-appreciated, and your actions are normally reckless. This current situation is a perfect example. Like I said, younger sibling syndrome." Harvey never broke eye contact.

Roman's eyes narrowed and he leant forward, his elbows resting on the table. "You're pretty bold, considering the position you're in."

Harvey gave another shrug. "I speak as I find. Now, where's Donna?"

Roman leaned back in his chair again and grinned. "All in good time, Harvey," he said nonchalantly. With those few words, he'd regained control and they both knew it.

"Bullshit! I was told, no, _promised_ that if I came here as instructed I would get to see her," Harvey said, his voice raised.

"No, Harvey. You were told that we would update you on her condition. I believe we said that we _might_ let you see her," Roman sneered.

Harvey swallowed heavily as he willed himself to keep calm. He desperately needed to see Donna. The fears and emotions he had pushed aside for the last few hours were threatening to break through his calm facade. He had relied on the fact that they would take him to Donna, using that knowledge to keep him focused and level headed. He felt his composure slipping as the possibility that it might not happen suddenly reared its ugly head. He knew, though, that losing his cool now would be a disaster.

"How about a compromise, Harvey?" Roman opened his arms out in a pseudo friendly gesture. "We always keep our promises, and I reckon I can go one better. Just for you." He winked.

Harvey's heart began to pound as Roman clicked his fingers, his eyes never wavering from Harvey's.

One of the other suited men stepped towards the table and placed a laptop between them. He flipped up the screen and after tapping a few keys, a black and white video image immediately flickered up on to the screen.

Harvey felt his stomach drop as flashbacks to the CCTV images he had witnessed a few hours previous, raced through his mind. He had a distinct feeling, he wasn't going to feel any better about what he was about to see this time around either.

The video image showed a sparsely furnished, small room with one high window. It was most likely a basement. There was a desk underneath the window, with a single chair, a laptop and some other paraphernalia that Harvey couldn't determine, nor did he bother trying to, as his eyes were immediately drawn to the other side of the room, where a single bed was positioned against the wall. There, lain strewn across the bed, was the unmistakable form of Donna Paulsen.

Harvey couldn't help but gasp. His immediate reaction was a combination of both relief and horror. Donna was clearly asleep or unconscious, but he could just about determine that she was breathing.

"What have you done to her? Is she unconscious?" he asked angrily.

"She's on a cocktail of drugs that are keeping her nice and quiet. But don't worry, Harvey, she's getting round the clock attention."

Harvey felt a wave of nausea in response to Roman's words as he stared at her lifeless form. "How do I know this is a live feed?" he whispered.

Roman didn't answer Harvey's question, but clicked his fingers once more. The suited man that had provided the laptop, handed him a cell phone, the number of whomever Roman wanted to call, already entered and dialled.

Roman held the phone to his ear. "Mr. Lang...Our friend here wants proof that the current video feed I am showing him is live."

Harvey looked up at Roman, who simply smiled at him before nodding back at the screen. Harvey turned back to the laptop to see that Samuel was now standing in the centre of the room.

"How about you give Mr. Specter a nice friendly wave, just so that we can assure him that what he is seeing is really happening right now," Roman suggested with a wry smile.

Samuel grinned at the camera and gave a jovial wave, not too dissimilar to the one he had given in Grand Central station. Harvey felt his blood begin to boil, wanting nothing more than to reach through the screen and wipe that smug grin off the bastard's face. Permanently.

Then, to add salt to Harvey's wounds, Samuel proceeded to walk over to the bed where Donna lay. He knelt down by her side, and picked up her hand which he kissed, before leaning over and kissing first her cheek, then her lips. He turned back to the camera and gave another beaming smile, whilst simultaneously running his hand down her side.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Harvey flew out of his chair, reaching over to grab Roman by the throat. "Tell that bastard to keep his fucking hands off of her! NOW!" he roared.

Within seconds, two pairs of heavy hands had grabbed hold of him, dragging him away from Roman and throwing him back into his chair. He struggled as they held him down, rage surging through his body.

Roman was chuckling to himself as he adjusted the collar of his shirt where Harvey had grabbed him.

"You really have got it bad for her, haven't you?" he remarked, clearly pleased with Harvey's reaction. Harvey watched on helplessly as the laptop was slammed shut, cutting him off from his only current access to Donna. He stopped struggling, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Now, I think it's time we got down to business. I've kept up my end of the bargain, now it's time you paid the piper, Harvey."

"I need to see her," he said. He was breathing rapidly now. He could feel the edges of another panic attack and he was sure the only thing that would keep it at bay would be seeing Donna.

"You agree to do what I ask, and you will."

"Not with her in that state, I won't. I need to be able to speak to her," Harvey snapped.

Roman leaned forward again. "Mr. Lang does have the means to wake her up, but only on my say so. Therefore, I suggest you stop lashing out and making idle threats and listen carefully to what I have to say instead," he bit back.

Harvey gave a heavy sigh, but gave a small, almost imperceptible nod.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked resignedly.

Roman gave him a satisfied smile. "That's better," he said. He reached an arm out and one of the other suited men handed him a folder, which he placed on the table and opened out. He made a show of perusing through the paperwork inside, as though he needed to verify a few facts and figures before making any demands. Harvey was well aware that it was pure bullshit. Roman was clearly enjoying himself, and was just prolonging Harvey's agony as a form of power play. However, whilst this particular situation might be unique for Harvey, it wasn't his first rodeo and he was smart enough and experienced enough to rise above such tactics. So he just sat gazing across the table, breathing steadily as he waited for the other man to speak.

Roman finally looked up and grinned at Harvey.

"Firstly, there's the small matter of a considerable amount of money currently sitting in Paulsen Developments corporate business account. We need you to move that money, as we had originally instructed James Paulsen to do."

Harvey nodded. He was expecting this, and he was already prepared to launder the money for them if he had to, if it meant Donna's safety. However, he also knew that Donna would want her father completely removed from this nightmare. When he got her out of this, he was well aware that if Jim's reputation was permanently damaged or even worse, he faced prosecution, she would be devastated. He couldn't have that.

"I can do that, but in return, I want any record of his involvement in this, removed. He needs to look squeaky clean. You're also not going to ask him to do any more shady shit. Nothing questionable. Let him finish his development, legitimately."

Roman shook his head with a laugh. "There you go again, making your demands like you have nothing to lose."

Harvey leant forward. "You don't need Jim Paulsen anymore. You have me. I think you've made him suffer enough." He crossed his hands in front of him as he looked Roman squarely in the eye. "You like to think of yourself as a businessman don't you? Well, this makes good sense. The less people involved in your crooked dealings the better. Less people for the Fed's or the SEC to sniff around. Less people to crack under pressure."

A flash of something darted across Roman's eyes, but before Harvey could decipher it, it was replaced once again with a look of indifference. Roman ran his tongue across his teeth as he considered Harvey's words. He leant back in his chair and gave a shrug.

"Nice try, Harvey, but I generally find that the more people in our pockets the better. However, I'm feeling generous, so, how about I promise not to involve Mr. Paulsen in anything more...clandestine. You're right, we don't really need him anymore, and I'm willing to give him a free pass from now on," Roman smirked.

"I need his name removed from all previous records, too. This can't come back to bite him, further down the line," Harvey pushed.

"Well, that's up to you, Harvey. I'm sure that when you handle those funds for us, you'll also work your Specter magic and erase any trace of Jim's name."

"Not without access to QCG records, which I don't have," Harvey said with a frown, a growing sense of unease now settling in the pit of his stomach.

"Oh, but you will have. When you sign us as your new client."

Harvey failed to hide the look of shock on his face. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. There's no way in hell I'm representing you."

"Yes, you will. If you want to clear Jim's name completely, you're going to have to. Put it this way, the only way I'm giving you access to all of our books is if you are our lawyer. So it's up to you," Roman said smugly.

"I don't represent organised criminal gangs, and our firm cannot be seen to be in business with the likes of you. It could ruin us," Harvey replied indignantly.

"Look, Harvey, I don't care how you spin it, but you will sign us. If it helps, we only need you to sign QCG, which is a legitimate company."

Harvey scoffed. "It's not that hard to discover that you and your brother are behind QCG. We managed to find out in the space of an hour for chrissake. How do you—"

"I think you're forgetting that this isn't up for debate," Roman interrupted with a wave of his hand. His face had hardened as he narrowed his eyes at Harvey. "It's my second condition, and if you want to speak to that beautiful redhead, as well as clear her father's name, you'll do as I say."

Harvey bit the inside of his cheek as he gently drummed his fingers on the table. Signing this piece of shit to the firm would be disastrous for their reputation. However, in a way, Roman was correct. For all intents and purposes, QCG was legit, and if he wasn't able to find a way to spin the signing then he didn't deserve his name on the firm's wall. He was Harvey Goddamn Specter for chrissake. Besides, if it meant he could 100% protect Jim, he'd do it. He still had faith that he would get them all out of this situation, in which case QCG wouldn't stay a client for long, making it the shortest signing in history.

"Okay," Harvey agreed. "Is that it?"

Roman chuckled to himself. "No, Harvey. I was saving the best till last." He glanced down at the paperwork in front of him, once again feigning an interest in the facts and figures before him.

"You represent Tony Gianopolous," he said more as a statement than a question, before looking up at Harvey.

Harvey frowned, not sure where this was going. "I do," he replied.

"Rumour has it that Tony recently sold a significant number of shares in four of his biggest acquisitions."

"That's not a rumour, it's common knowledge," Harvey said.

"Maybe, but Tony isn't in the business of selling for no reason. He acquires, he doesn't sell, unless...he did it because he's gearing up to make a really big move," Roman intimated as he stared Harvey down.

Harvey felt his stomach drop yet again. Realisation of what The Karimov's wanted from him becoming disturbingly clear.

"We're not having this conversation, Roman," Harvey said without blinking.

"But we are, Harvey. That's exactly what we are doing. Cause I've now reached condition number three." He beamed at Harvey as he spread his arms out across the table. "You're going to bring me all the details of the deal you are brokering for Gianopolous. I want to know who he's going after, why, and when he's planning on making a move."

"You know I can't do that without breaking privilege," Harvey said in a dead tone, knowing for sure Roman was well aware of this fact.

"Oh don't worry, Harvey. For every bit of juicy information you send my way, you'll be handsomely rewarded."

"...and that's insider trading! You're asking me to do something that could not only lose me my license, but could have me prosecuted for fraud!" Harvey was glaring at Roman now.

Roman gave another shrug. "Surely that's a small price to pay for the life and well being of Donna Paulsen, no?"

Harvey balled his fists as he glared at Roman. He didn't say anything, his mind already working at a million miles an hour now that he knew exactly the terms The Karimov's had set.

"So, Harvey. Do we have a deal?"

Harvey spread his arms out to mirror his opponent.

"Okay. You're gonna get that asshole to wake Donna up and you're gonna take me to see her." He paused before swallowing heavily. "Then I'm gonna need 24 hours to get you the information you need and prepare an engagement letter for you and your brother to sign. In the meantime, I need assurances that no harm comes to her and Samuel Lang won't lay one finger on her. You agree to all that and you have yourself a deal."

Roman raised his eyebrows and smirked. "You know I don't have to agree to anything, Harvey."

They were staring each other down again. Harvey knew that technically Roman was right, but at the same time, the bastard had gone to a lot of trouble and risked a hell of a lot to get Harvey here to do the things he'd asked. Roman not only wanted this badly, Harvey also had a niggling feeling that there was still something else at play.

Eventually Roman just nodded with a grin, breaking the stalemate and he held out his hand behind him once more for the cell phone. He placed the phone to his ear as he continued to smile in Harvey's direction.

"Miss Paulsen has a visitor, and he'd like to be able to talk to her. Can you make sure she's ready to see him?" he said into the phone.

Harvey felt his whole body relax slightly at the realisation that he would finally get to speak to Donna. He was without doubt, in a shitty situation. He'd agreed to a number of demands that would spell nothing but massive trouble for himself and the firm. But he had 24 hours to work on a solution, and he would have Mike and Samantha to help him get there. Right now though, all he could focus on was that he would finally get to see Donna.

"Would you like a drink, Harvey, while you wait? We have Macallan 36," Roman offered, all geniality and friendliness, as though they were old friends sharing a drink. Harvey stared at him in disbelief. It was like Roman was completely oblivious to what was really happening.

"I'll pass, thanks," he answered through gritted teeth.

Roman shrugged as he eyed Harvey with amusement. "You'll have ten minutes with her, that's all...and I don't think I need to tell you that if you try anything, we'll end both of you."

Harvey felt his blood run cold but he didn't flinch. "I'll be back here tomorrow at 4pm with the information you need and the paperwork for you to sign. Your brother needs to be here too," Harvey responded coolly.

"Maxim will be here," he assured him. He then glanced down at his phone as it buzzed on the table. "Ah!...looks like she's ready," he said in a creepily joyful tone as he stood up swiftly from his seat.

If it wasn't for the fact that it would jeopardize his chance of seeing Donna, and her safety in general, Harvey is pretty sure he could have swung for Roman right there and then - four beefy bodyguards be damned. Instead, he bit his tongue and clenched his fists as he also stood and stepped away from the table.

"These fine gentlemen here, will escort you. I'm afraid I have some other business to attend to. It was an absolute pleasure meeting you, Harvey." Roman held out his hand for Harvey to shake. "Until tomorrow?" he grinned.

Harvey stared at the open hand in disgust. He pointedly stuffed his fists into his pockets and without any further acknowledgment of the other man, he stepped past him toward the door. As he walked away, he heard Roman chuckling smugly to himself. Harvey was raging inside, but Donna was now what predominantly consumed his mind.

He followed Roman's henchmen down another corridor and then down a flight of steps. It was looking more and more likely that he was right in assuming that they were holding her in a basement. With each step, Harvey felt his heart pounding harder. A mixture of nerves, fear and an urgent longing or need that he couldn't properly decipher were all battling for precedence in his mind.

Finally, they reached a heavy wooden door. One of the henchmen banged his fist on it to announce their arrival and a nervous silence followed, broken only by the sound of a lock and bolt being unfastened. The door then swung open and Samuel stood smiling at him from the other side.

"Harvey! It's good to see you again," he smirked.

Harvey pushed straight past Samuel, purposely shoving his shoulder as he did so. He couldn't even bring himself to speak to the motherfucker, knowing if he did, he'd totally lose it and his visit would be over before it had even begun.

He soon stopped dead in his tracks though when he caught sight of her. She was sitting upright on the bed, leaning against the wall. Her hands and feet were tied, and she had a gag across her mouth.

"What the fuck?!" he bellowed at the sight of her bound and gagged. She was looking up at Harvey with drowsy but teary eyes. She seemed to gasp slightly at the sight of him and he could tell she was breathing rapidly.

"I believe it was agreed that you could talk to her. Not that she could talk to you," Samuel said smugly.

"You son of a bitch!" Harvey roared as he launched himself towards Samuel, all self-restraint gone out of the window. Once again he felt himself being pulled back by his two escorts as he was grabbed around the neck, and he felt excruciating pain shooting down his left arm as it was pinned behind his back.

"Tut tut… Harvey!" Samuel walked slowly up to him until they were toe to toe. Harvey was struggling to breathe as the arm tightened around his throat. "I get that you are a little frustrated, but you really do need to work on your anger management techniques."

Harvey was gasping, his eyes bulging as he tried to pull the arm away from his neck with his right hand.

"You're upsetting Donna here. I can't have that, Harvey. You need to calm down!" Samuel said as though scolding a child. Harvey could hear moans and sobs from behind him, and he squeezed his eyes shut, the sounds of Donna's distress were like a knife through his heart. He opened his eyes. He was still struggling for air, but he managed to lift his free hand as a show of surrender.

Samuel smiled, and then nodded to the goons behind Harvey. They released their hold and Harvey immediately slumped forward, hands on knees, as he coughed and choked.

"Now, by my watch, you only have five minutes left, Harvey. I suggest you stop wasting time and make the most of it."

Harvey stood up, his breathing more stable. He glared at Samuel but said nothing.

"Good. I'll leave you two lovebirds to it, then." He beckoned to the two bodyguards to leave as he too walked towards the door. Just as he was about to exit the room he turned to Harvey one last time. "Now don't even think about removing any of her bindings, Harvey. I'll be right outside keeping an eye on you and if you do...well, this little rendezvous will be over and you'll be out on your ass before you know what hit you," he smirked.

As soon as the door was shut and they were finally alone, Harvey instantly spun around and took two giant strides towards Donna. He fell to his knees by her bedside and immediately gathered her in his arms. She rested her head underneath his chin as she collapsed into him and sobbed. He held tightly on to her with one arm, as his other hand cupped the side of her face. He alternated between gently placing his cheek on the top of her head and peppering her forehead with soft kisses.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm here," he said softly. "I've got you."

Despite her hands being tied, she gripped his shirt at his waist as she continued to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Donna. I'm so, so sorry," he whispered. He was rocking her slightly as he desperately fought back his own tears.

She pulled back then and looked up at him. Her eyes were red raw, her pupils dilated unnaturally so, no doubt due to whatever concoction of drugs that were still in her system. She frowned at him though and shook her head as she tried to reach up to touch his face with her bound hands.

Harvey desperately wished he could untie her, and remove the horrific cloth tied around her mouth that was forcing her silence, but with her gentle touch to his face and her deep, penetrating stare, he knew exactly what she was trying to tell him. He placed his own hands around hers as he stared intently into her hazel eyes, the pain behind them tearing him in two.

"This isn't your fault, Donna. Do you hear me? This is totally on me!" he said sternly as his eyes flickered between hers.

She shook her head again as tears trickled down her cheeks, clearly not willing to relinquish blame for the situation they were in.

He lifted a hand and gently stroked her hair, before tucking it behind her ear. He then tenderly cupped her face in both hands as he rested his forehead against hers.

"I have so much to say to you, and so little time," Harvey choked up, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him as he felt the pressure of the seconds ticking away. "I've promised you more than once that I would never let anything happen to you, Donna." She whimpered and he knew she was trying to protest, to reassure him.

Harvey pulled away slightly so that he could look into her eyes as he spoke. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, as he continued to hold her face in his hands. "I told you that you never had to feel scared like that again, and I...I've let you down. So badly."

She was trembling now, as her tears continued to fall.

Harvey's breath hitched in despair as the sound of heavy footsteps could be heard approaching the door.

"I am going to fix this, Donna. I promise," he said earnestly. "But I need you to stay strong for me, okay?"

Her forehead creased in anguish as she too realised that their time was up, but she nodded to him in answer to his request.

"This time tomorrow it will all be over, I promise," he said quickly. "I'm coming back for you, Donna," his voice finally cracked, unable to hold his emotions back any longer as he heard the door open behind them.

She stared at him with desperation and panic in her eyes, as though she were pleading with him not to leave her. Harvey couldn't bear it, and before they could drag him away from her, he swiftly and impulsively tugged the gag from her mouth and immediately pressed his lips against hers, pouring every emotion, every feeling, every word that he hadn't been able to say into the kiss. They both wept as their lips met, but it only lasted mere seconds before Harvey was yanked away from her.

"Harvey?" she gasped as he was dragged from the room, the sound of her voice both simultaneously igniting a fire in him and stabbing him through the heart.

He was thrown against the wall of the corridor, as the door to her cell was slammed shut and locked again from the inside.

"Donna!" he yelled, knowing it was futile, but desperate that she hear him. He heard her sobs and the sickening voice of Samuel, and the desire to lash out and break down the door permeated his bones.

"You have to leave now," said one of Roman's suited stooges, his tone left no room for argument.

"Get your hands off me," Harvey growled at the muscle head who still had him pinned against the wall.

With a toothy grin, the heavy released his hold, and Harvey straightened his jacket.

He turned to the suit, and stared at him coldly. "I meant what I said to Roman. If that bastard lays one finger on her, the deal is off and I'll fucking kill him," Harvey said, his tone low and menacing.

"Just make sure you're back here by 4pm tomorrow with the goods, or you really don't wanna know what could happen." The suited guy nodded his head towards the door of Donna's makeshift prison cell, not needing to say anymore.

Harvey squeezed his eyes shut as once again his stomach clenched with the desire to throw up. Not only did those words chill his very bones, but he was also now conscious that Donna's sobs had been silenced. Samuel had no doubt rendered her unconscious once more and that thought made him want to scream.

But instead, he allowed Roman's henchmen to escort him from the building, his legs like jelly and his breaths becoming more sporadic as he ventured outside.

He knew it was coming, and despite his desperation that he get on the road straight away, call Mike, and start working out how to solve this mess, he couldn't help but just yield to it. He managed to stagger into the front seat of his car as his vision began to blur and the blood pounded in his ears.

The panic attack held him in its grip for more than ten minutes, before he finally managed to open his door and throw up onto the road. Only then did he feel the symptoms slowly abate, and he was grateful for the bottle of water that Samantha had given him before he'd left, as he rinsed his mouth and took a few refreshing gulps.

Eventually, he was able to pull away from the curb and once on the road back to Hartford, he immediately dialled Mike.

_"Harvey, thank God. Are you okay?"_

"I'm okay, Mike," he said, although he was well aware his tone screamed otherwise.

_"What about Donna? Did you see her?"_

"I did. She's…" he paused. "She's alive, and she's relatively unscathed, but I need to get her out of there Mike, and we have 24 hours to do it," he answered.

_"Well before you do anything Harvey, you need to call Paula!"_ Mike said urgently.

"What? Not my priority at the moment," Harvey said, slightly baffled. He glanced at his phone sitting in the hands-free cradle, and noticed for the first time that there were about a dozen missed calls from his girlfriend.

_"I get that, Harvey, but she's called both Samantha and I, Christ knows how many times. She hasn't heard from you and she's worried. I just got off the phone from her a minute ago, and she said if she doesn't hear from you in the next half hour, she's going to the police!"_

Harvey groaned. He needed that added complication like a hole in the head.

"Fuck!... Okay, I'll call her now. I should be with you in about 45 minutes okay? We've got some work to do!"

_"Wait, Harvey. What were their demands?"_ Mike asked before Harvey could end the call.

"They had three Mike, I'll go through them with you when I get back, but suffice to say we need to find a way around each one otherwise we're in deep shit. I'll tell you this though, their demands prove that they never wanted Jim, they were after me and the firm all along, and it's serious fraudulent shit they want me to do, so please, please tell me that you and Samantha have found something that I can use."

_"That's just it, Harvey. We_ have _found something, and it's big!"_ Mike said excitedly.

"Spill!" Harvey said, his heart rate accelerating.

_"I don't wanna say anything more over the phone, but let's just say that you're right that they never wanted Jim. They wanted you alright, but not for your legal expertise."_

"What are you saying, Mike?"

" _I'm saying that what we've found, changes everything!"_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was a tough one to write, but I think I got there in the end! I had a bit of a collywobble about it, smacked myself in the face with a huge slab of self doubt. Thankfully, Blue was there yet again to reassure, advise and encourage. She is amazing!
> 
> Finally, a slight trigger warning. It's not overly graphic but there is mention of physical violence in this chapter.

* * *

Donna had always taken pride in her emotional intelligence. Not only in her capacity to read, understand and empathise with the feelings of others, but also her ability to manage her own emotions positively and calmly. Mostly. Her feelings for Harvey being the only exception.

However, she was fairly sure that she had never felt such hatred and disgust as she did right now. The sheer fury she felt was burning through her like fire, as she glared at the back of his head.

She was certain that if looks could kill, he would have keeled over the desk, several times over by now.

She watched as he feverishly typed away on his laptop keyboard.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been conscious this time. Her concept of time and reality had long since abandoned her, but she was lucid enough to realise that her ordeal was clearly not over, and the man that sat with his back to her was an evil son of a bitch that had betrayed her in the worst possible way.

"Is there something you want to say to me, Donna?" Samuel said softly, without bothering to turn around.

Donna began to breathe rapidly as her rage spiked yet again. The absurdity of his question fueling her anger considering she was once more bound and gagged. She refused to acknowledge his words with any sound, determined not to give him any indication that his mind games were having an effect on her.

She wasn't sure what she was most angry about. She had fallen for his charms, hook line and sinker and that made her sick to her stomach. How had she not seen past his over-friendly and excessively slick demeanour? It was Stephen Huntley all over again, but this felt much, much worse. Stephen had been despicable, ruthless and manipulative, but even she eventually acknowledged that for all the terrible things he had done, it was never his intention to hurt her.

Samuel, on the other hand, had targeted her. He had inserted himself into her life, exploited her vulnerability when she was at her lowest ebb, and fooled her into believing that he was there as a friend. There to help. This enraged her, but thinking on it now, she was most angry at herself. She was furious that after the humiliation of her ill fated liaison with Stephen, she hadn't learned her lesson. She'd succumbed once again to the charms of a nefarious bastard!

No. That particular root of her anger was more directed at herself. The fury she felt towards Samuel was born from the mere fact he made her feel afraid.

Her feelings for Harvey aside, Donna was not afraid of anything. She tackled issues head-on. She was full of confidence and sass. She drew inner strength from a belief in her own abilities and talents. It wasn't arrogance. She was well aware of her shortcomings, but she would never apologise for who she was, and she feared nothing and no-one.

Except, she was afraid now.

She felt helpless, and more frighteningly, she felt totally out of control. She had no power over her situation, and it scared her witless. He had done that to her. He had made her weak. He had stripped her of her armour, taken away all that made her strong and formidable and she despised him for it.

Samuel spun around in his chair. He cocked his head to one side and studied her as though she was a specimen in a jar.

"I sense a little hostility from you, Donna." He smirked at her.

Donna turned her head away from him, refusing to engage in his little mind games, but her heart was beating out of her chest. She felt the fear lick up her insides as the tone of his voice fanned the flames of her anxiety.

He rose out of his chair and casually walked towards her. He stood towering over her before crouching down, reaching a hand out and delicately running a finger over her knee. Despite being determined not to reveal her fear, she couldn't help but recoil from him. It was instinctual. Her breathing was rapid now and she knew he sensed her terror. She felt his hand reach up and stroke her hair. Donna closed her eyes, desperately trying to block this current horrific reality from her mind.

His fingers lingered down the side of her face, before he swiftly pulled the gag from her mouth, the action startling her somewhat.

"Shall I kiss you?" he asked, his eyes sparkling. He was revelling in her discomfort.

Donna stared at him in horror.

"If you're asking my permission, the answer is 'No'!" she said with as much confidence as she could muster.

He gave a little chuckle. He brushed his fingertips across her lips and Donna held her breath, completely petrified.

He continued to stare at her, as though challenging her to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. She held his gaze, but didn't move a muscle. His smile dropped and he stood up, he looked her up and down briefly before stepping back towards the desk and chair on the opposite side of the room.

Donna wasn't sure which frightened her more. The possibility of what he might do to her, or the realisation that she didn't have a clue what his next move might be. She couldn't read him. He was unpredictable, clearly unhinged and undoubtedly dangerous.

She decided then that it was the uncertainty that was crippling her. So she decided to be brave, and change the status quo.

"Why are you doing this, Samuel?"

He was about to sit back down in the chair and resume his typing, but he turned on his heel and looked back at her. He grinned as he bit his bottom lip, eyebrows raised slightly at her sudden question.

"I have my reasons," he answered vaguely with a shrug.

She nodded at his answer but decided it was safe to probe further.

"You don't seem the type to take orders from the likes of The Karimov brothers."

"I don't," he snapped.

This time it was Donna who quirked her eyebrows in disbelief.

His apparent annoyance at her insinuation was fleeting. His mask of indifference back in place. "I don't work for them," he clarified. He smiled widely at her then, and lifted a hand, wagging his forefinger. "I see what you are trying to do, Donna. Weedle information out of me that you no doubt believe you can pass on to your beloved Harvey Specter somehow. I'm afraid that would be a pointless exercise."

He stepped back towards her then, dragging the chair with him. He placed it in front of her and sat down.

"Did you enjoy his little visit?" Samuel asked as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "He certainly seemed keen to see you... and to think, Donna, there you were, believing he didn't care about you," Samuel said with a mock pout.

Donna swallowed heavily and she started to tremble. The combination of Samuel's close proximity and his unpredictable behaviour coupled with her now hazy and muddled memory of Harvey's visit made her stomach flip. She chose not to answer him, deciding to change the subject instead.

"So you're a gun for hire then?" she dared to ask.

"I didn't say that," he responded. "...and you're deflecting, Donna. Trying to avoid talking about you and Harvey by asking all about me." He winked at her and she thought she might throw up there and then.

"There's nothing to say, Samuel. Certainly not to you, anyway," she said bitterly, as she leaned further away from him as best she could.

"I'm hurt, Donna," he said as he placed a hand over his heart. "You know how I was always rooting for you two."

Donna looked back at him then, incredulously. She was shaking her head in disbelief.

Samuel cocked his head to one side and gave her a sympathetic smile. He leaned closer to her. So close that she could feel his breath on her face. "You know, I never lied to you, Donna. Not once."

"I beg to differ," she dared to say, despite the fact she was now shaking. "I believe you said you'd take me to see my father, yet somehow, I ended up here. Drugged, bound, and gagged."

Samuel screwed his face up and his shoulders lifted in an over-exaggerated shrug. "Okay. You got me on that one. That was more your fault than mine, though," he said, leaning back again with a chuckle.

"What?" Donna gasped in disbelief.

"Don't look at me like that. If you'd have done what you were supposed to do from the start, this wouldn't have been necessary. The same goes for your stupid, stubborn father."

Just when Donna didn't think she could hate him anymore, her anger peaked once again. Despite her fears, she couldn't help but lash out. "Don't you dare say that about him. You almost killed him! His heart stopped, you evil bastar—"

The force of the blow knocked her sideways, her head snapped back against the wall and Donna was momentarily stunned. Samuel was stood over her, his eyes filled with rage, his hand still raised as though to strike her again. Her head was ringing, a sharp pain shooting down her neck. That was nothing though, compared to the stinging pain in her right cheek where he had struck her.

"Don't you dare put that on me!" he roared. "I had nothing to do with the number done on Jim. That was all Roman and his cronies."

Samuel lowered his hand. He was still glaring at her as she whimpered from the shock and pain.

"Now look what you've done!" He'd stepped away from her now, and was pacing back and forth. "We were having a nice, friendly conversation about you and Harvey, and you go and ruin it."

Donna was shaking uncontrollably from head to toe. She was lying on the mattress, where she'd fallen, her tears falling freely.

Samuel flexed his fingers, still pacing. "I just suggested they scare him, that's all... to move things along. They took it too far and almost ruined everything," he shouted.

Donna was still trembling. Her head was throbbing from the impact and the stinging in her cheek was worsening, but she willed herself to calm down so that she could listen to Samuel's rant. He was no doubt revealing more than he should in his current agitated state, and while still petrified, she didn't want to miss a word.

"All Jim had to do, was come to you for help, like he's done before. That was it! Only he didn't, he tried to keep you out of it. We threatened him, we even threatened you! Showed him pictures of you, but the stubborn fool still wouldn't tell you what was going on. So we had to make sure you found out. Except, Roman is reckless, he gave his thugs carte blanche and they went too far!"

He'd stopped pacing now, and Donna held her breath. He looked at her then and immediately strode back towards her, taking a seat again in the chair by her bedside. She flinched away from him as he lifted his hand. But he just ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head to himself.

"He pulled through though, and you went to see him at the hospital, and finally he confessed all. Roman claimed everything was back on track, but I told him... I told him that you and Harvey weren't on the best of terms." He gave a huff before leaning towards her again.

Donna lifted her head slightly, wincing with pain as she looked at Samuel and frowned.

"You were supposed to confide in Harvey, Donna!" he said angrily. "I told you, it was him we wanted all along. But you didn't go to him! You fucking went to Samantha instead, and she started digging, and Harvey was still oblivious. So once again, I had to intervene. See? It's your fucking fault!"

He was bellowing in her face now, and she squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for him to strike her again. When nothing happened, she dared to open her eyes. He'd moved away from her again and was standing back at the table. He had his back to her, but she could tell he was doing something with his hands.

"Why do you want Harvey?" she asked desperately. She knew it was a risk saying anything after his recent outburst, but his revelation had fired up her curiosity.

"Enough questions," he said coldly as he turned on his heel to face her. Donna was gripped by fear once again when she spotted the syringe in his hand.

"No! Please, Samuel, don't. I won't say another word, I promise." She whimpered.

"I know you won't," he sneered as he stepped towards her.

She gasped and moaned as she bucked her knees up, in a feeble attempt to scrabble up the bed away from him. She was desperate to escape him despite the futility of her attempt. She was bound at her wrists, knees, and ankles and there was no way out of this prison cell anyway.

"Please, Samuel. No more, not again, I'm begging you," she cried.

His face was blank, his steely blue eyes, cold and devoid of any emotion. He knelt on the bed next to her, pinning her down with the weight of his body as he forced her sleeve up her arm. She was still whimpering and squirming when she felt the sharp sting. She gasped, still crying 'no' repeatedly. It was mere seconds before the dreaded but now all too familiar iciness began creeping up her veins. She could feel the pull, the weight bearing down on her. Before she surrendered to it, she willed her memories to resurface, if only fleetingly.

_The feel of his arms holding her, his musky scent of soap and leather, the softness of his soothing voice, the feel of his lips on her forehead, her cheek, her mouth._

She allowed the memory to comfort her, like a warm blanket as she was inevitably dragged down into the cold abyss.

xxxx

"Enough, Paula! I know you're worried and I'm sorry I didn't call you but under no circumstances are you to go to the police—"

" _Harvey—_ "

"I'm fine, everything will be fine. We know what we're doing. Mike and Samantha are helping, they have a plan," he lied. He still had no clue what exactly they had uncovered, or whether that meant they were any nearer to a solution, but he had to pacify his girlfriend somehow.

Before he'd even had a chance to call her, she'd rung him again, and when he'd answered her call, the panic she was in was clearly evident from the way she had screeched down the phone at him. He'd spent the last five minutes trying to reason with her, but she wasn't having any of it.

" _I don't believe you, Harvey. You're fobbing me off. Don't take me for a fool,_ " she snapped.

Harvey let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm not, Paula. I just need you to trust me on this. I know what I'm doing."

" _I do trust you. It's these people you're dealing with that I don't trust. They are dangerous and violent and you need to step away from this situation and let the police handle it._ "

"And abandon Donna in the process?" Harvey yelled, his temper rising with every second this conversation continued. "Like you said, Paula. They're dangerous and violent, so what the fuck makes you think I could ever just leave her at the mercy of those evil bastards! Are you fucking crazy?"

There was silence on the other end of the line. Harvey knew he had gone too far, but he had no time for doubts. It had killed him to leave her behind. The image of her trussed up, gagged, frightened and traumatized was burnt into his retinas. It's all he could see and even though he'd had no choice, leaving her there had felt like he'd failed her yet again. It was eating him up. He knew that Paula was coming from a place of worry and concern but the mere suggestion that he could just step back and hand Donna's fate to someone else was abhorrent to him.

" _Harvey. I would never suggest that you just abandon her. I'm trying to be subjective, because you clearly can't be. You are too close to this,_ " she said calmly but decidedly coolly.

"You mean I'm too close to _her_ ," he couldn't help bite back. He knew he was probably being unfair, but she'd hit a nerve and his patience was worn to the bone.

" _I'm not going to respond to that. You are clearly frustrated and worried and you are lashing out at me as a means of coping—_ "

"Do you think, just for once, you could quit goddamn analyzing me? I'm not interested!" he spat. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't call you. I was a little preoccupied, and right now I need to focus on solving this nightmare, so if you're done, I need to go."

This time it was Paula who sighed heavily. " _Okay, Harvey. I'm obviously not going to change your mind on this, so you go fulfill your desire to be the hero, a knight in shining armour or whatever other guilt-ridden complex it is that is driving your decision making process at the moment. But know this, if I haven't heard from you by this time tomorrow, I_ _ **will**_ _go to the police,_ " she said in that clipped tone that told him, this wasn't over by any means and she hung up before he had a chance to respond to her insinuation.

Harvey thumped the steering wheel in frustration. He hadn't handled that conversation well at all. She was his girlfriend and she was worried about him. Her concern for his safety was understandable. It should be touching, really, it should warm his heart. So why did he find it irritating instead?

Without a doubt, the things she'd said had touched a nerve. The suggestion that his actions were born out of guilt, ran a little too true. The months he'd spent punishing Donna, the cruel words he'd thrown at her in full awareness of the pain he was causing were now like a heavy chain of remorse and shame around his neck. Not that he needed motivation to come to Donna's aid, but Paula was right. Guilt was driving him and it was like an unstoppable force.

However, he dismissed her accusation that he refused to go to the police because of some sort of hero complex. Harvey knew he had what it took to solve this situation better than the police. He felt it, deep in his core. There wasn't anything he wasn't prepared to do and that included breaking the law if necessary. Not only that, but aside from Donna, no-one was more effective than him at reading people. He was New York's finest closer for a reason, and he fiercely believed he was the best person to get them all out of this mess.

Yet, despite his absolute surety that managing this crisis themselves was the right move, he'd still handled that last conversation with Paula, badly. He could put it down to his current anxiety, his impatience to get back to Mike and Samantha so that he could find out what they'd discovered. But if he was honest with himself, his short temper and angry responses had more to do with the confusion he felt regarding his feelings.

Ever since Donna had kissed him, he'd been battling with a myriad of different emotions and desires. That battle was what lay behind his recent atrocious behaviour. Now, following his brief and painful reunion with her, where she had been so frightened and vulnerable, those reawakened feelings were even more profound. He'd held her, comforted her and he'd impulsively kissed her, and while he could argue that he'd done that from a desperate need to protect her, he knew, deep down, it was more than that. He couldn't put a name to what he'd felt. If asked, he wouldn't have been able to describe his emotions in those few minutes. All he knew for sure, was that seeing her, holding her and touching her had felt like coming home. It made sense, despite the chaos, danger, and horror around them. He felt safe.

Reconciling that against his comfortable and relatively easy, pain-free relationship with Paula quite simply threw him for a loop. He wasn't sure what it all meant, but he was sure it wasn't something he could presently think too much about. It would have to wait. He would cross that bridge once Donna was home safe and well, and they were all out of the woods.

The sun had finally dipped beyond the horizon by the time he pulled up outside Jim's house. Mike was already standing in the doorway as Harvey marched up the front path.

"I'm not gonna ask exactly how many speeding limits you broke getting here, but suffice to say, you've made good time."

The temporary relief they felt at seeing each other was evident as they briefly embraced, slapping each other on the back with a heavy sigh.

Harvey followed Mike into the house, the smell of food hitting his nostrils immediately. Despite his agitated and nervous state, he couldn't help but react to it as his mouth watered and his stomach clenched with hunger. He realised he hadn't eaten anything for at least 24 hours, his appetite lost through sheer panic and worry.

He pushed the thought of food from his mind though as he made his way into the living room where he found Samantha reading through the Karimov files. She looked up from the couch and gave him a nod.

Harvey wasted no time filling them both in on what had happened at The Beaufort Club, the condition Donna was in and what Roman Karimov's demands had been.

"I'm so sorry, Harvey. That must have been tough, seeing Donna like that," Mike said earnestly.

"It was...which is why I really need some good news. What have you found?"

Samantha, having briefly left the room, returned straight away with what looked like a plate of lasagne with some salad. "You need to eat, Harvey," she said.

"You cooked?" he asked, pointing back at the kitchen she'd just walked from.

"Me?" she scoffed. "Christ, no. I don't cook. Mike made it."

Harvey turned and looked incredulously at Mike. "You found time to cook? Did you do Jim's laundry and take the trash out too?" he snapped.

"Hey! I think better when I cook. I find it helps me process information better. So quit criticizing, sit your ass down, and eat."

Harvey shook his head impatiently. "I need to know what you've found, Mike."

"Yeah, well, that's gonna take a bit of time to explain, so while you sit and eat, we'll talk!"

Harvey didn't bother continuing to argue. The food smelled delicious and he was happy to give in to his hunger knowing he might finally get some answers at the same time.

"Okay. Well, where do we start?" Mike said with a huff, as he sat down opposite Harvey.

"From the beginning, but just give me the basics," Harvey said as he shovelled a fork full of lasagne into his mouth.

"Well...Samantha and I decided to delve into the Karimov's again, both their criminal activities and their more legitimate enterprises," Mike began. "Nothing jumped out at first, but then we discovered that just over twelve months ago, they suffered a major bust from the FBI."

Harvey lifted an eyebrow. "Really!"

"Yup," Samantha cut in. "They'd had a few investigations into them before, in their early days, but since then they'd always managed to navigate under the radar successfully. It seems that may have been due to the fact that as they expanded, they grew the legitimate side of the operation more substantially than the criminal side. It enabled them to launder money more easily, and keep their heads down and not get noticed."

"So what changed?" Harvey asked.

"Well, from what we can make out, one of their legitimate businesses, a car dealership in Boston, got into a fight with a rival company and, well, to cut a long story short, the Karimov's resorted to extortion, bribery and all manner of nasty shit. As a result, the FBI started sniffing around, and the more they looked, the more they uncovered. The feds couldn't prove much though, until they finally had a bit of good fortune. The Karimov's accountant caved under pressure and started feeding them information."

Harvey gave a wry smile as he finished his plate of food. "No shit!"

"But then, just as the feds were building a case, the accountant disappears, never seen again," Mike said with a grimace. "No doubt the Karimov's found out they had a mole and took care of the problem."

Harvey leaned back in his chair and shook his head with a look of disgust. He then looked up at Mike and frowned. "But you said they got busted."

"They did. The FBI still didn't have enough to take down the brothers themselves, but some of their closest right-hand men were prosecuted, and they got jail time," Mike said. He then hesitated before leaning forward. "But that's not the most interesting part, Harvey. The Karimov's had their assets frozen… and they were still frozen when the Tilson group pulled out of Jim's deal and QCG, aka The Karimov's, stepped in to save the day!"

Harvey tilted his head and glanced between the two other lawyers. "So where did they get the money from?"

"Exactly!" Samantha grinned. "They were in no position to muscle in on that deal. We're talking millions of dollars, and let's not forget the extra million they wanted Jim to launder for them. "How could they finance any of it when they couldn't access any of their own funds?"

"Which means it had to be someone else's money," Harvey whispered, the cogs whirring in his head.

Mike took a deep breath, glancing back at Samantha. She nodded at him to continue. "Harvey, we think Samuel gave them the money."

Harvey's eyebrows shot up in bewilderment, but then he quickly shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense. Samuel works for the Karimov's, not the other way round, and why would—"

"He doesn't work for them, Harvey. He's been working _with_ them on this, but not _for_ them."

"Where the hell did he get the money from then? You said he was ex-army, worked in security… and what the hell is his motivation in all of this? It doesn't add up," Harvey said, now completely baffled with what Mike was telling him.

"Well, that's the thing, Harvey. He doesn't work for the Karimov's, but he does answer to someone else."

"Who?"

"His billionaire step-brother."

Harvey cocked his head to one side, his shoulders dropped and he slowly started to shake his head as realisation finally dawned on him.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," he said as he glared at Mike, who just nodded back at him.

"Charles Forstman," they both said in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I do beg for a bit of artistic license regarding American law, the FBI and their investigations. I don't really have a clue, but I hope that if I'm way off the mark, you'll forgive my ignorance.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, let's start with a warning. This next chapter is pretty plot heavy and dialogue heavy. I've edited it numerous times (thank you Blue for your marvellous feedback) and tried to simplify as much as I can. I hope you still enjoy it and I don't fry anyone's brain with too much information! My excuse is that I needed to explain quite a bit of stuff in order to move the story along.
> 
> Second thing, this chapter does venture a little into the 'M' category, but it is fairly tame. (I'm new to writing that kind of thing)
> 
> Lastly - Please, please, keep the reviews coming. I am so grateful for them, and I love reading every single one!

* * *

They sat momentarily in silence as the revelation sank in.

Samantha glanced between the two men, waiting for one of them to say something, to react in some way. Mike was perched on the edge of his seat. He was staring at Harvey, watching several emotions ripple across the older man's face as he digested this discovery.

Harvey was slowly and almost imperceptibly shaking his head, his mouth slightly open, his eyes staring off into the distance. His fists were clenched at his side, knuckles white.

He felt himself slowly unravel, the coil in his stomach that had been so tightly bound was unfurling in the wake of this moment of clarity. He looked up suddenly at Mike.

"You're sure?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

Mike nodded. "Samuel was the connection. We didn't spot it before because I'd only looked briefly at his personal background."

Harvey's eyes narrowed. "I always knew Forstman was a cold, vindictive bastard, but this? I never thought he would orchestrate something like this. Kidnapping? That's not his M.O...and Jesus Christ, Mike, the attack on Jim… he almost died!"

Samantha leaned forward. "We think he orchestrated the plan to screw with Jim's deal. Put Donna's father in the crosshairs so that you would have to step in, do some shady but very traceable underhand shit to save the day," she cut in. "However, we don't think he specifically arranged for Donna's kidnapping or the attack on Jim. From what we've found out, it's more likely that change of plan came purely from Samuel or the Karimov's."

Harvey held his hand up to halt the conversation. "Change of plan? Okay, wait a minute. You're saying the attack on Jim and them taking Donna was not the original plan?" he asked with a confused frown.

Mike and Samantha exchanged a concerned look, both seemingly reluctant to explain their hypothesis. Their cautious glance did not go unnoticed by Harvey. He dipped his head to one side, sucking in his cheeks as he quirked an eyebrow at them.

"What?" he barked.

Mike sighed as he looked up and met the questioning eyes of his friend. He opened his hands out in an almost defensive gesture. "You were always the target, Harvey, but we think things escalated when Donna didn't behave the way Forstman thought she would."

Harvey flinched slightly at Mike's words. He still wasn't sure exactly what Mike was getting at, but from the look on the younger lawyer's face, he guessed it probably had something to do with him. "What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"How about we back up a bit and we tell you exactly what we found out and how we came to that conclusion," Mike suggested as he stood and reached over for his bag. He opened it and pulled out a bottle of Macallan 18, and placed it on the table in front of them.

"I need to keep a clear head, Mike," Harvey said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"I'm not suggesting we drink the whole bottle, Harvey," Mike said as he gave a wry smile. "One isn't gonna hurt, and I'm guessing you could probably do with it. Shit, I know I definitely could."

"Me too," said Samantha as she placed three tumblers on the coffee table and proceeded to pour them each a generous measure.

Harvey didn't offer any further objection and he leant forward, reaching for one of the glasses. He took a large sip and the welcome burn down his throat did indeed help calm his frayed nerves. He took a deep breath before looking back at Mike and Samantha with a grateful nod.

"Okay, I'm listening," he said.

"Right, well… just at the point that I found out about the FBI investigation and the fact that the Karimov's had all their assets frozen, Samantha got a call back from one of her army contacts."

"It seemed that Samuel had quite a dubious army record," Samantha sneered. "He'd been involved in a few altercations, was reprimanded for inappropriate behaviour and was eventually suspended from duty pending a psych evaluation."

Harvey gripped his whiskey glass a little tighter, but said nothing, allowing Samantha to continue.

"Following that psych evaluation he was discharged on medical grounds. He then went to ground for a few years. No trace of him whatsoever—"

"Until he turns up at a top corporate Insurance firm in New York, Dewar Life, heading up their security," Mike interjected. "Now, Samuel getting a job like that from nowhere, I knew he had to have been getting help from someone, somehow. So, I looked into his personal background a bit more. I started with his family. I already knew Samuel's mother had died when he was young, and his father had remarried. So I checked the marriage records, and lo and behold, one Josiah Lang had married a Sarah Forstman in Oregon. Bingo!"

"I believe your exact words at the time were, 'Jesus Fucking H Christ!'" Samantha interrupted with a smirk.

"Well, it was the piece of the puzzle we'd been looking for," Mike responded with a smile. "I quickly verified that Sarah Forstman _was_ related to Charles, and that it wasn't just a coincidence. Then I tried to find out what I could about their new family set up."

"And?" Harvey took another gulp of whiskey, his heart racing at Mike's words.

"By all accounts, they weren't close at all. Charles is considerably older than Samuel, and they were both adults when their respective parents married. Samantha then got her investigator to discreetly dig a little deeper."

Samantha nodded as she placed her empty glass on the coffee table. "My contact managed to confirm that neither Charles nor Samuel went to their parent's wedding. Charles was already making a name for himself on the financial scene in New York and had considerably distanced himself from his family and background. Samuel was in the military and was stationed in Germany at the time, although the general consensus was that he wouldn't have gone to the wedding anyway. He hadn't spoken to his father in several years."

"So...yes, they were step brothers, but we couldn't find anything that suggested that they'd even met each other," Mike said with a frown. "But I knew that Forstman had to be the connection. I mean, how could he not be? So I went back to that lucrative job that Samuel had landed himself at Dewar Life. It was then that I discovered that Forstman used to own a considerable amount of shares in Dewar Life."

Harvey gave a snort as he nodded his head. "Of course he did," he said with a look of disdain.

"We'll probably never know the particular details of how it all happened, but Samantha and I surmised that Samuel approached his new step brother. Maybe he had something on Charles, maybe he just outright asked Forstman for a favour, being as they were family now—"

"The family thing might have got Samuel through the door," Harvey interrupted. "But Charles doesn't do anyone a favour. He's as cold as they come. I would guess that Charles got him that position at Dewar Life in return for Samuel's services."

"Agreed," said Mike. "So now we come to our current scenario. We know that Charles has been stewing in jail since you and Cahill put him there," Mike said. "He has undoubtedly been waiting for an opportunity for revenge. We think that somehow, he got wind of Jim's deal. It's anyone's guess how, but I think it's safe to say a man as powerful as Charles Forstman has many resources and contacts still feeding him information."

Harvey nodded in agreement, soaking up every word as he twisted his whiskey glass on his knee.

"At the same time he hears about Jim's deal, he's also joined in prison by some new inmates. A couple of high ranking organised gang members who were previously employed by the Karimov brothers until a recent FBI investigation saw them incarcerated. He discovers that while the Karimov's have managed to escape direct prosecution themselves, their organisation is severely wounded thanks to their accountant selling them out. Their assets are frozen and they now have a serious cash-flow problem," Mike said with a wry smile. He reached forward and poured all three of them another drink. Harvey didn't object, he just took the drink, his eyes never wavering from Mike's, as his heart rate continued to steadily rise. He nodded at Mike to continue.

"Forstman sees an opportunity. He summons his stepbrother, and tells him to offer the Karimov's a lifeline. He'll fund their organisation, but in return, he wants a favour."

"Muscle in on Jim's deal," Harvey murmured. His mind whirring, he suddenly frowned. "Why Jim, though? I mean the link to me is still a bit tenuous, no?"

Mike and Samantha exchanged another look of apprehension.

"Opportunity, primarily," Mike responded as he looked back at Harvey with a sombre expression. "But I think he believed the link to be more than just tenuous. He knows you, Harvey, and he's been watching and waiting, biding his time, constantly gathering information on you. Which means he would've found out about the deal you once struck with Anita Gibbs to get Jim off the hook. The letter that we got Professor Gerard to write? He'd have taken note that you basically risked us losing my court case when you surrendered that statement by Gerard to Gibbs, purely to take the heat off Jim, and he would have rightly guessed that you did it for Donna."

Harvey swallowed heavily. "Mike, that statement never would have stood up in court—"

"I know that… but Forstman didn't. As far as he was concerned, you risked me, the firm and even your own freedom for Donna's father."

Silence once again fell in the room. There was no doubt that Mike was right, but it was the gravity of his unspoken words that weighed heavily. The two men stared at each other, sharing a look between them that held one implicit, simple truth. If Gerard's statement _had_ held more substance, if it _had_ held the power to exonerate Mike, Harvey still would have traded it for Donna and her father. They knew it then, just as they knew it now and neither needed to say anything to acknowledge that fact.

Samantha picked up on the unspoken conversation between the two men but decided it should stay between them as she cleared her throat. "Forstman believed he could reel you in using Donna and her father. The Karimov's would threaten Jim, Jim would turn to Donna for help and then you would step in and save the day. He was now certain that you would cross any line and risk anything for her, so he just had to make sure that whatever you were prepared to do, it would not only ruin your career, but possibly put you in jail too," she said carefully. "Unfortunately…Jim didn't initially confide in Donna. We know that he tried to handle it on his own first. When they told him not to breathe a word to anyone, he took them at their word. So they attacked him, putting him in hospital, knowing that he would have no choice but to confide in her eventually. Which of course, he did."

"However…" Mike paused, looking across at Harvey nervously. "Forstman was not aware how bad the relationship was between you and Donna. He didn't know that you two were barely speaking to each other. He'd assumed that the moment she knew of her father's situation, she would turn to you for help, like she always had," Mike said with trepidation.

"But she didn't," Harvey whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut as the realisation washed over him, taking his breath away in the process. "She didn't trust me with it, she turned to you instead." Harvey looked at Samantha with a pained expression, his eyes heavy with unshed tears.

Samantha pursed her lips as she took in Harvey's almost broken spirit. "I did try, Harvey. I told her that whatever had happened between you, if she was in trouble there was no way you wouldn't help her, but she—"

"Don't!..." Harvey had lifted his hand to halt her words. "You don't need to explain, Samantha. She didn't come to me because I'd given her every reason to believe that I was no longer there for her. I was no longer her friend…" His voice broke on the last few words, and he covered his eyes with his hand as his body shook with the sheer wretchedness of the realisation.

"Harvey—" Mike tried to comfort his friend.

"No, Mike," Harvey almost shouted then. "Don't tell me that it's okay, that I shouldn't dwell on what I can't change, or any other platitudes you might be thinking of offering me. I deserve to feel nothing but pain about this. It's my fucking fault!"

"Harvey, it won't help —"

"That's why that bastard took her isn't it?" Harvey said with a look of horror. "She went to you, Samantha, and you started investigating and digging, but I was still out of the loop. So they had to up the ante again."

Harvey had stood up now and he was wringing his hands through his hair as all the pieces of the horrific puzzle started to fall into place.

"Samuel was watching all the time. Jesus, he was asking all those questions at the wedding. He was trying to find out if I knew, and when he realised that I was still blissfully unaware…" Harvey had been pacing up and down, but he stopped and looked back at Samantha and Mike. "They decided to abduct her. To make sure I found out."

They both looked back at Harvey, but said nothing. It was the conclusion that they'd come to as well, but they were well aware just how agonizing the awareness of that fact would be for Harvey. They had been dreading his reaction to it the moment they had come to that conclusion.

Harvey slumped back on the couch. Everytime he thought he'd reached his lowest point, every time he thought he couldn't hate himself more, he'd be hit with another revelation that just twisted the knife further.

Mike waited a few beats, taking in the demoralized demeanor of his former mentor. He then leant forward and clasped his hands together as he rested his elbows on his knees.

"Harvey, I'm not going to bullshit you. You're right, Donna didn't come to you because of the state of your relationship at the time, and if she had, she wouldn't have been taken by Samuel," he hesitated as he observed Harvey wince with pain at his words. "But don't you fucking dare take the blame for this current nightmare. Let's not lose sight of who is really culpable here."

Harvey looked up with weary eyes, his face screwed up in anguish but said nothing as he tried to remain calm.

Samantha reached out and touched his arm. "Forstman might be cold and ruthless, but I think we all agree there are certain lines he wouldn't cross. From what we now know about Samuel on the other hand, he's a sociopath, with psychopathic tendencies. We think the attack on Jim and everything that has happened since has Samuel's name written all over it."

Harvey's jaw clenched and he scowled as he reached for the whiskey glass, knocking back the contents. He considered Samantha's words for a few moments before speaking.

"Having met the son of a bitch, I have no doubt that you're right. He's a cold, evil bastard. Roman Karimov too... But Forstman started this. This was instigated by him, and so help me god, I am gonna make _all three_ of them pay!" he said in a tone of voice that ran chills up Mike's spine.

* * *

_His hands were like his lips, soft and warm. Underneath that inflated ego, there was an innate tenderness to him that surprised her. She'd guessed that he would be skilled at this, that he would be able make her come undone with relative ease, with just a few strokes and brushes of his fingers, and the flick of his tongue. But as his mouth travelled down her naked body, caressing her breasts, stomach and thighs with gentle, wet kisses, and his hands softly kneaded and fondled her flushed skin she found that it wasn't just his ministrations that left her breathless, but the way in which he seemed to regard her with a kind of reverence. Every time she moaned and gasped in pleasure his eyes would sparkle with warmth and genuine affection._

_He was moving inside of her now, a measured and sensual rhythm that was in stark contrast to their earlier, more frantic thrusts against her living room wall. When he'd first come knocking on her door, their playfulness and flirtations had soon given way to a passion and hunger for each other that had prevented them from even making it to her bedroom. It had been frenzied and ebullient, both needing to quickly satiate their desire for one another._

_But now the whipped cream and strawberries had been discarded and it was just the two of them, limbs entwined, skin on skin, whispers and moans in a slow, erotic dance. Their fingers were interlocked as he pinned her hands above her head. He trailed soft kisses from behind her ear, to her neck and finally to her lips, his tongue gently curling around her own, as he gradually and steadily picked up the pace. "Come for me, Donna," he whispered to her as he stared intently into her eyes, still thrusting deep inside her. She answered him with a cry of his name, her back arching as she felt the first tinglings of her release…_

"Harvey!" she gasped as her eyes flew open. For a moment she felt completely disorientated. Her heart was pounding, her skin felt hot yet she had goosebumps all over, the heat of desire still coursing through her veins.

It wasn't long though, before the reality of her situation and surroundings came crashing down. She was still in her makeshift cell, her hands and feet were still tied, and she still felt a terrible, longing ache for him.

Harvey's brief yet painful visit had stirred up a hornet's nest of feelings within her. Alongside her fear and rage at Samuel, she was also suffering a heady combination of joy and loss. Her initial relief at seeing Harvey stride through that door had been countered by a fear that something terrible might happen to him. The knowledge that her captors were using her simply to ensnare him was sickening her. More than that, it frightened her... to her core.

She still didn't know where she stood with Harvey. She had no clue what the future held for their friendship. She had been swept up in more than just his arms when he'd cradled and consoled her. She'd embraced his warmth, his affection. She'd clung to him, and clung to everything that she felt for him. She'd allowed herself in that moment to bask in the love and protection that he'd offered, so much so, that when the moment came for him to leave, she'd never felt such despair and panic.

Then he'd kissed her.

It was brief. All too brief. Deep down she knew that the kiss was just his answer to the fear he'd seen in her eyes. He was offering her comfort in her darkest moment. She also knew that Harvey would be racked with guilt at her situation. Guilt that she had been used purely as a means to get to him. These feelings are what drove that kiss, yet she couldn't help but dwell on it. She could still feel his lips now, soft and gentle. The memory of it had comforted her when she'd been gripped by fear, soothed her when she'd suffered Samuel's cruelty, and cradled her when she'd succumbed to the darkness.

Donna had indulged in that memory, and in doing so, she'd opened the door on her precious, previously guarded memories of 'The Other Time'. She allowed herself to dream of that night. That one time when he'd been her's. She knew it was dangerous. Perilous to wade in those waters that reflected a time when they could have been something more. It was a fantasy, though. She was risking daring to hope again, for a future that most likely would never be realised.

For now though, thinking of him in this way, remembering the way he had touched her, the way he'd made her feel, gave her much needed solace. It gave her strength and she had promised him that she would stay strong. It was the least she could do for him. Her faith in him hadn't wavered. If anyone could get her out of this situation, it was Harvey. She was just terrified that he would compromise his own safety to do so. Whatever lay ahead of them, whether their friendship could be mended or not, she fundamentally couldn't cope with the idea of anything happening to him.

Loud voices interrupted her thoughts. Loud, angry voices coming from above. She quickly looked around, only now realising that she was alone in her cell for the first time since her ordeal had started. She managed to sit up, despite her bindings. She tried to free her wrists from their restraints, but there was no give at all.

She shuffled to the end of the bed, and hooked her arms over the metal frame, rubbing the cable ties that bound her wrists, back and forth in a vain attempt to cut them open. Her wrists were already red raw, and the action did nothing to help the soreness, but she gritted her teeth and ignored the pain as she desperately tried to weaken the restraints.

The shouting match above had ceased, and to Donna's despair, she heard footsteps approach the door. She quickly unhooked her arms from the bed frame and backed herself against the wall, before the door swung open.

Samuel stepped into the room, followed by two other men that she didn't recognise. He smirked at her as he approached her bed casually.

"What are you doing, Donna?" he asked softly in that tone that chilled her blood.

Donna didn't reply, but looked nervously between him and the two new men that had entered the room.

"You do realise that we have eyes on you all the time, sweetheart." He chuckled. He pointed at a camera in the corner of the room, it's red light flickering as though it were taunting her. Samuel moved to sit next to her on the bed, and once again, fear struck through her in an instant. She tried to recoil from him, but he reached out and grabbed her by the neck.

"Where are you going?" he whispered. "You know, you can't escape me." His breath was hot on her face, and to her sheer horror, he pressed his mouth to hers, as his other hand gripped her knee.

She whimpered and struggled as the hand around her neck squeezed ever so slightly in warning as he continued to try and kiss her. A wave of repulsion and panic washed over her, doubly compounded by her awareness that the smaller of the two men behind Samuel were laughing at her obvious discomfort.

"That's enough!" The third man in the room stepped forward and the laughing instantly stopped. Samuel simultaneously released his hold on Donna, and looking slightly vexed, he stood up and stepped away from the bed.

Donna gasped, her body trembling as she desperately tried to contain her fear and revulsion.

"You don't touch her again, Samuel," the man said. "Is that clear?"

Samuel scowled, but then in a flash his expression changed again and he grinned back at the other man.

"Of course, Maxim...Crystal clear," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Samuel moved to the side then, allowing the third man, Maxim presumably, to step forward. Donna eyed him warily. He was smartly dressed in a well-tailored suit, his posture and stance screaming authority. A quick glance between him and the other man told her that the two were related. The resemblance was uncanny. The Karimov's no doubt. Maxim was studying her with a slight frown, the only expression she could determine, as otherwise, his face was unreadable. He showed no emotion, certainly no kindness or warmth in his countenance, but neither did he project any hostility toward her.

"Why is her face marked?" he asked, his tone cold.

Samuel shrugged. "She needed to be taught a lesson, be reminded who was in charge."

Maxim turned slightly and looked at Samuel with disdain. "Weren't the drugs, bindings and gag enough of a message already?" he asked softly. His voice sent a chill through Donna. The man may have put a stop to Samuel's unwanted advances, but he completely unnerved her. He had an air of unpredictability about him, a calmness that screamed danger.

"I find it never hurts to reinforce the message," Samuel said with a sneer.

"No, you just enjoy it too much. It needs to stop. It's sloppy and it's unprofessional. Harvey will be here tomorrow and we assured him that no harm would come to her."

"So what, Maxim? We hold all the cards. What is the fucker going to do?" the second man scoffed.

"I live in hope, Roman, that one day you will learn that no-one ever holds _all_ the cards… and you should never underestimate your opponent. Especially Harvey Specter," Maxim said cooly, his tone dripping with disappointment.

Roman scowled at his brother, but said nothing more except to exchange a look with Samuel.

"No more drugs, either. They're not necessary. If you can't control a woman that's tied up and in a locked room, you're clearly not up for the job," Maxim said as he narrowed his eyes at Samuel.

"I know what I'm doing. We may disagree on many things, Maxim, but don't question my methods," Samuel snapped back in warning.

"Oh but I do, Samuel. As far as I'm concerned this situation is already way out of control. You might be comfortable being this reckless, but I like to minimise my risks and this...here…" He waved his hand towards Donna. "Exposes us hugely."

"You worry too much, Maxim," Roman said as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I appreciate it's not ideal, but it was necessary. We needed this deal to get us back to full strength. We'll take care of Harvey tomorrow and then this chapter will be over."

Maxim looked impassively at his younger brother. "I wish I shared your confidence, Roman," he said with a raised eyebrow.

Donna watched the interchange between the three men with fascination. Her fear had given way temporarily to a keenly felt curiosity regarding the dynamic that was at play here. She sensed that the conversation was coming to an end though, and with Roman's last words striking fear in her heart, she decided to be brave.

"What do you mean, 'take care of Harvey'?" she choked out, her eyes fixed on Maxim, despite it being his brother that had inferred the threat.

Maxim tilted his head slightly as he returned her stare. He seemed to consider her properly for the first time since he'd entered the room. "You don't need to concern yourself with that, Miss Paulsen. Just be quiet, do as you're told and this ordeal will be over soon enough," he said, his face still expressionless.

He turned to leave then, and Donna felt the panic rise in her stomach, his words not pacifying her in the slightest.

"Please!" she cried out. "I don't know what it is exactly you want from Harvey, but I know he can help you solve whatever crisis you're facing at the moment. Just please don't hurt him."

It was a gamble, calling him out on an assumption that she'd made purely on the snippets of conversation she had heard. But her instincts told her that this wasn't just a simple case of extortion or blackmail. Having listened to what had been said, and having observed their body language, Donna believed she was witness to an additional, unspoken conversation between the three men. It was clear to her that there was a definite power struggle playing out in front of her, and the reasons for her incarceration and the trap set for Harvey were more complicated than she'd originally thought.

Maxim raised his eyebrows slightly at her outburst. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, and he took a step towards her. He studied her closely, as though taking the measure of her before responding.

"I admire your loyalty to him. Especially considering how badly the man has been treating you recently. However, unfortunately, Donna, the game is nearing its conclusion. The pieces are already in play and moves have already been made," he said cryptically.

"That doesn't mean you can't still change the rules," she quickly retorted.

Maxim stared intently at her then, and he smiled, clearly intrigued by her words. He turned away from her though, as he made his way out of the room.

"Good night Miss Paulsen," he called out, before he disappeared from view, Roman and Samuel following closely behind.

She heard the lock click on the door, and she instantly let out the breath she'd been holding during that last exchange. She was alone again, with just her fears and worries for company...and something else. For the first time, she felt the slightest flicker of hope.

* * *

"Has he had a stroke?" Samantha asked with a concerned frown.

"No...I think that might be his 'I'm having an epiphany' face, but it's hard to tell," Mike answered.

"I can hear you both, you know. I'm right here!" Harvey scowled.

Since Harvey's promise to make the bad guys pay, they had spent the last few hours going over the facts of the case, in an attempt to come up with a solution to their problem.

Finding out that Forstman was the instigator of this whole mess was a much-needed revelation, and a huge boost to their previously waning morale. However, whilst it was a crucial piece of the puzzle, it hadn't yet provided them with a means to get them out of this mess.

However, as the cogs continued to whirr in Harvey's head, he'd recently fallen silent, not having said a word in the last ten minutes. He'd been staring off into the distance, completely zoned out. Hence Samantha's concern for his health.

"Mike… tell me again about the accountant that turned on the Karimov's," he said suddenly.

Mike frowned at Harvey's question. "What exactly do you want to know?"

"Everything," he said.

"Okay, well. His name is, or was, Glenn Mathison. He'd worked for the Karimov's for approximately 8 years. When the FBI began digging into the organisation, they kept pressing where it hurt, and he caved. He began feeding them information—"

"Do we know what type of information?" Harvey interrupted.

"No, but the indication is that it was juicy stuff. It pointed the FBI in the right direction, and if he'd been able to testify, it would have put the brothers behind bars, that's for sure."

"Hmmm." Harvey slowly nodded.

"Where are you going with this, Harvey?" Samantha asked, intrigued.

Harvey didn't answer. He was drumming his fingers on his knee. He looked up at her then. "Samantha, do you still have a contact within the FBI?"

"Yes, although it depends what you want to know. Last time I did business with them, we didn't exactly part on the best of terms," she said with a grimace.

"I just need to know what this accountant told them. What information he gave them that cracked open the case and exactly how it implicated the Karimov's."

"Well, I can try," she said as she reached for her cell phone.

"It's important, Samantha," he said earnestly.

She nodded and stood up to make the call. She grabbed her notebook and left the room. Mike was still frowning at Harvey.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, but I have a hunch. Something hasn't felt right about this all along, I mean, beyond what we already know," he hesitated as he appeared to ponder another thought. "Maxim Karimov is going to be there tomorrow. What can you tell me about him?" Harvey asked.

"Well, he's older and cleverer than Roman. He runs the organisation, and until the FBI swooped in last year, he was doing a pretty good job of it. He seems to be the one spearheading the more legitimate businesses, leaving most of the dirty work to his younger brother. He's still dangerous though. Ruthless to the core and he doesn't suffer fools easily."

Harvey nodded at the information as though it was what he was expecting to hear. He stood up then and walked over to the mantelpiece. He reached for the photo of Donna, and sighed heavily as he ran his finger down the frame.

"She'll be okay, Harvey. She's the strongest person I know, if anyone can make it through this ordeal, it's her," Mike said softly from behind him.

"I know. I just… I have a theory, Mike," he said, still staring at her picture. "If I'm right, I know how to get us out of this mess, and there's every chance I can do it so we all come out of it unscathed." He placed the photo back on the mantelpiece, shoving his hands in his pockets as he continued to stare at her smiling face.

"But?" Mike asked.

"But, even if I'm right, it's still risky… and if I'm wrong…" his voice trailed off and he shook his head.

"How sure are you of your theory?" Mike said, failing to hide the excitement in his voice, his eyes popping out of his head.

"That depends on what Samantha manages to find out."

"Did someone say my name?" she said with a smirk as she walked back into the living room.

"Well? Any luck" Harvey looked at her expectantly.

"Some," she said as she placed her phone on the table and sat back down. "My contact wouldn't tell me everything, but what he did say was that Glen Mathison initially resisted every effort they made to coerce him into giving them information. He wouldn't budge and he seemed fiercely loyal to the Karimov's. Then suddenly he changed his tune and started singing like a canary. They wouldn't tell me the details of what he'd disclosed, Harvey. As far as they're concerned, it's still an open investigation. Mathison has never been found, and he could still turn up."

Mike scoffed. "Yeah, right,"

"What he did say was that it was Maxim Karimov who stood to lose the most, if Mathison had testified. The majority of the incriminating evidence indicated that although on the surface, he appeared to be the more legit of the two brothers, it was actually Maxim that was the kingpin in all their illegal activities, from drug smuggling, people trafficking, all of it. He was the one giving out the orders. Roman was more like a loyal soldier, just doing as he was told. A week before they were due to arrest both brothers, Mathison disappeared. Without his testimony, all they had was the documentation that he'd provided. The brother's names were never on any of the paperwork, so there was nothing concrete to link them to anything."

Harvey sat in silence as he contemplated everything Samantha had said.

"Does that back up your theory?" Mike asked.

"He has a theory?" Samantha said, her eyes wide.

"I do… and it does. But there are still no guarantees," Harvey murmured.

"When are there ever, Harvey? The way I see it, you have two choices. Choice number one, you tell us what your theory is and we start working on a plan."

"I don't think I can risk Donna. I'd have to commit to it 100%, but if I'm wrong… Jesus, I'd be fucked, and Donna… she'd…" he shook his head, his heart pounding.

"Then you go with choice number two. You do everything they ask, you get disbarred, probably arrested and prosecuted, The firm goes under and we keep everything crossed that they leave Donna and her father alone."

"I think I prefer option one," Samantha mumbled.

Harvey was staring at Mike, his heart pounding, he was still shaking his head.

"Harvey, we have no other options. You once told me that when you're backed against the wall, you break the goddamn thing down. Well, this is where you are right now."

"I know that Mike, but this time, it's Donna on the other side of that wall," he said as he screwed his face up in anguish.

"I know you, Harvey. I saw that glint in your eye. Your gut is telling you that you're right, you know it deep down that whatever you've come up with is the only solution that will solve this nightmare. It's only the thought of Donna that is making you doubt yourself. Well, let me ask you this. If she were here now, what would she tell you to do?"

Harvey narrowed his eyes. His breathing was rapid now. Mike and Samantha both stared back at him, waiting for him to respond with baited breath.

"She'd tell me to break the goddamn wall down!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was a struggle to write. It's another plot heavy one I'm afraid, but I hope you still enjoy it.
> 
> Thanks to Blue again for her reassurances when I succumb to self doubt, and also for picking up on language and vocab differences from across the pond.
> 
> I say it every chapter, but please, please, please leave a review if you can, and you are still liking the story. It's the best part of writing, hearing what people think and seeing that what we do is appreciated. I love hearing from you, and get such a buzz of excitement when I see a notification that someone has left me feedback.
> 
> Love to all x Jo

* * *

"So… Did you manage to get any sleep at all?"

Mike and Harvey hadn't said a word to each other on the drive to Bridgeport. Both of them had been preoccupied, overthinking everything that they'd agreed, everything that could possibly happen. Everything that could possibly go wrong - which was quite a lot.

The atmosphere in the car was tense, to say the least. They realised that this was probably the most precarious position either of them had been in. They were walking into a situation with no guarantees that they'd be able to walk out of it again, alive, let alone unscathed.

"Did _you_?" Harvey answered.

"Not really, no," Mike said with a sigh. He looked across at Harvey, who was gripping the steering wheel tightly as he stared ahead. They were only a few minutes away from the Beaufort Club, the tension rising with every mile closer to their destination.

"You sure about this, Harvey?" Mike asked finally.

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Now you're asking me? Mr. 'We have no other options, Harvey' ... 'you need to break down the goddamn wall, Harvey'… Really?"

"I meant, about me coming along. They were implicit when they said you should go alone," he responded.

"That was last time," Harvey said with a shrug. "They didn't specify this time." He glanced across to Mike with a wry smile.

"God, you're such a lawyer sometimes." Mike chuckled as he shook his head. His smile was soon replaced with a frown again though, as the gravity of their situation weighed heavily between them. "Seriously though, Harvey, do you really want to risk antagonising them?"

"Honestly, with what we're planning to do, I think it's the least of our worries. Besides, I need you there." He hesitated then as he bit his lip, the reality of the danger they were facing hitting him squarely in the chest. He glanced across at his friend. "Shit, Mike, that's selfish of me. You've only just got married and these are dangerous people. If you'd rather not, I'll completely unders—"

"Are you kidding me? Just try and keep me away," he scoffed. "Anyway, if I ducked out now, could you imagine me trying to explain that to Rachel? I promised her before we left, that I would help bring Donna safely home, and I fully intend on keeping that promise."

Harvey pursed his lips together in a pained smile, as he nodded at Mike's words.

"Anyway… I can't let you take all the glory, now can I?" Mike added.

Harvey chuckled lightly. "We're here," he said, as he pulled the car up outside the Beaufort club. He switched off the engine, and they both sat for a moment, contemplating what they were about to do.

"Have you heard back from Samantha yet?" Harvey asked nervously.

"No, but don't worry, Harvey. If she'd had any trouble getting through to Cahill or her FBI contact, she'd have told us by now."

"Okay...and you're sure you got everything we needed from Jim?"

"Yep. I have all the bank details we asked for," Mike reassured him. That hadn't been an easy conversation. Jim was beside himself with worry at the news that Donna was still in danger, especially as he knew that they couldn't guarantee her safety, despite their promises and assurances that they would fix the situation.

Harvey took a deep breath then and glanced across at his friend, giving him a nod. They both stepped out of the car, walking up to the club, Harvey rapping his knuckles on the front doors to announce his arrival.

"You ready for this?" Mike asked one last time as they waited to be greeted.

"You bet your ass I am," Harvey said with a grimace. "I'm gonna make him an offer, he can't refuse."

They heard footsteps approaching. "You did _not_ just quote The Godfather?" Mike mumbled as the door swung open.

Just as before, they were allowed to enter without much acknowledgement, their two escorts quickly searching them and the bag Mike had brought with him, before silently leading them through the club. It was only a few minutes later that Harvey found himself sitting in the same room he'd been in less than 24 hours earlier. Even with the risks and the danger they faced, he felt a little more reassured this time, knowing they had a plan in hand and he had Mike at his side. Despite them having no guarantees it would work.

"Whatever happens, whatever they threaten, we stick to what we agreed, okay?" Harvey muttered under his breath.

Mike's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to respond but thought better of it when the door opened and Roman Karimov strode into the room, flanked once again by several bodyguards. Roman grinned at them both, quirking an eyebrow as he acknowledged Mike's presence. This time, however, he was accompanied by an impeccably dressed man that Harvey immediately deduced was Maxim. His physical resemblance to Roman was the first clue, but it was also the air of authority that he exuded that confirmed it for him. He had a natural poise and a sense of fearlessness about him that unnerved Harvey.

Maxim sat himself down at the poker table, opposite Harvey and Mike. Roman casually strolled over to the bar in the corner and proceeded to pour himself a generous measure of Vodka.

"I see you've brought your wing-man with you today," Maxim said softly, as he looked between the two men with a slight smile.

Harvey made to reply but was struck silent when the door opened again, and Samuel stepped through dragging Donna by the arm behind him. Harvey immediately tensed, his heart pounding mercilessly as he watched Samuel haul her over to one of the leather sofas that lined the wall.

Her hands were still tied behind her back, but she was no longer gagged, much to his relief. That feeling, however, soon dissipated, replaced instead with pure fury when she finally risked a glance over to him and Mike, and they caught a glimpse of her face. She'd no sooner met their worried stares before immediately casting her eyes away from them, letting her head drop down so that her beautiful auburn hair fell forward about her face. Despite her vain attempt, there was no hiding the ugly, mottled, purple bruise across her right cheek.

"What the fuck?" Harvey bellowed as he jumped out of his chair. He only managed one step towards her though, before he was pulled back and unceremoniously shoved back into his seat and held down.

"Harvey," Maxim said in warning, but his tone suggested that he wished to mollify Harvey rather than antagonise him. "You have every right to be angry at the state you find Miss Paulsen in. It is regrettable."

Samuel was sitting next to Donna, his arm draped behind her across the back of the couch. He was smirking at Harvey, fully cognizant of the emotions his actions were provoking. She was leaning as far away from him as possible, her body curled in on itself. The only way she could have distanced herself from him further would be if she had clambered up the wall. The physical marks on her face sickened Harvey to his core, but that was nothing compared to the realisation that her body language was screaming nothing but fear. She was quite clearly petrified and repulsed by the man sitting way too close to her. Harvey's stomach lurched as thoughts flooded his mind of what else she might have suffered at the hands of Samuel. His breathing accelerated as white hot rage permeated his bones.

"Regrettable?" Harvey repeated, incensed. His eyes never wavering from Samuel, who was still grinning, clearly enjoying goading him. Harvey turned his head to Maxim then, and pointed at Samuel. "What else has that bastard done to her?" he shouted, his voice wavering slightly, betraying the anxiety he felt.

Maxim held his hands up, his face stern but his demeanor calm and lacking any intent to antagonize him further. "Harvey, I understand your anger. I apologise that Donna has been harmed. It should not have happened—"

"You think?" he bellowed, struggling to free himself from the restraining arms that were pinning him down.

"The sooner we get down to business, the sooner you can take her home with you, yes? So I suggest you calm down, Harvey. Your anger might be justified but these outbursts need to stop." Maxim's tone left no room for doubt that he wouldn't tolerate Harvey acting out. The subject of Donna and the way she had been treated was apparently closed. Harvey glared at Maxim, but he acquiesced, recognizing that losing his temper and lashing out when they were so outnumbered, served little purpose. He could also feel Mike's gaze, no doubt pleading for him to stay calm.

Harvey's shoulders sunk in surrender, and Maxim nodded at the men behind him. They released their hold and stepped away. Harvey heard Mike expel a deep breath, no doubt relieved at the situation having been diffused. The tension in the room remained though, especially when Samuel could be heard chuckling to himself.

Harvey gritted his teeth, his jaw tense as he forced himself to look straight ahead in Maxim's direction and not back at the evil asshole invading Donna's personal space.

"Would you like a drink, Harvey? Mike?" Maxim gestured to the bar where Roman was still propped.

Harvey shook his head slowly.

"No thanks," Mike answered with a small smile.

"Okay, then. Well, shall we get down to it?" Maxim rested his elbows on the table as he crossed his hands in front of him. "I believe there were three conditions that had to be met in order to facilitate Donna's release. Why don't we start with the engagement letter? Once that is signed, I'll give you access to QCG's finances and records, and you can then finally move that money."

Harvey turned to Mike, and the two exchanged a knowing look as he gestured with a nod back to Maxim, that he should do as the man asked. Mike reached into his bag and pulled out a laptop and several folders, opening the top one and retrieving the paperwork from inside.

"I'm assuming you'll want to check over the contract," Mike said as he passed over the file. "Providing you are happy with the terms set out, both you and Roman will then need to sign here… and here." Mike indicated with his finger.

Maxim took the paperwork and cast his eyes briefly over the document. He held his hand out and one of his cronies handed him a pen.

"You're not going to check it more thoroughly?" Mike asked, surprised.

"Oh, I think we're way past the stage where you would be stupid enough to consider screwing us over, no?" Maxim answered Mike but he was staring at Harvey intently as he spoke.

Harvey met his stare. "Of course not," he responded with a smile.

Maxim lightly chuckled as he signed his name. "Roman," he called to his brother. The younger Karimov knocked back the remains of his drink and casually strolled over to the poker table, pulling up a chair. He took the document from his brother and signed his name without any hesitation before passing the paperwork back across the table.

Harvey checked their signatures then scribed his own name too. He handed the file back to Mike with a nod. "Okay then. I am now officially representing you."

"Great. Now move that money!" Roman said with a smirk.

Harvey quirked an eyebrow at Roman as he bit the inside of his cheek. "I need access to QCG finances first. I'm not moving any funds until I can remove any trace of Jim's name from those records… as we agreed."

"I don't remember agreeing that one was dependent on the other," Roman snapped. "I said that once you signed QCG and moved the money, _then_ you were free to amend the records in Jim's favour if you wished."

"I think we can make this allowance for Harvey, don't you Roman?" Maxim interjected. "As long as he moves the money as directed, it's not important to us whether Jim is involved anymore."

Harvey risked a glance across to Donna who was staring back at him, her eyes wide as she took in the conversation at hand. They looked at each other fleetingly, a thousand unspoken words exchanged between them in just a split second before Harvey quickly diverted his attention back to the two brothers before him. Focusing on Donna would just spin his emotions into free fall, risking his ability to see this through.

Roman gave a huff as he leaned back in his chair. "Okay," he said resignedly. "This had better not take too long though. We want that money moved pronto, not to mention we still have to get to condition number three," he added with a grin.

The suited goon that had provided the pen, placed a flash drive on to the table. Roman pointed to it as he looked across to Mike.

"That will give you access to all of QCG records. So do what you gotta do and then move that money. Here's where you need to wire it to." Roman passed over a piece of paper with some details written on it.

Mike plugged the drive into the side of his laptop and proceeded to type away at great speed as the information they needed flashed up on his screen.

Silence descended on the room, save for Mike's tapping of the keys.

Harvey kept his focus on the Karimov's, despite the ever-present yearning to check back on Donna. She had been silent save for the odd whimper, which he could only imagine was due to something Samuel was doing. He clenched his fists under the table as he tried to smother the deep-seated desire he had to rip the son of a bitch's head off.

After a few minutes, Mike looked up from his laptop. "I'm nearly done, I'm just transferring the money now from Jim's corporate account," he said.

Roman retrieved his cell phone from his pocket and proceeded to tap a message into it. He then placed it on the table and rocked back in his chair, his hands in his pockets.

"Okay, done," Mike announced to the room, and a few seconds later, Roman's phone pinged with a message. He reached forward and glanced at the screen. He smiled and nodded to his brother in confirmation.

"Excellent," Maxim said. "Now that's all done, I believe that brings us to condition number three." He pointed to the other two folders that Mike had retrieved from his bag. "I'm assuming those contain all the information pertaining to Tony Gianopolous's new business venture?"

Mike closed his laptop screen and slid the files across to Harvey, who placed his hand on top before leaning forward towards the brothers.

"I'm afraid you've assumed incorrectly," Harvey replied.

"Oh?" Maxim said, eyebrows raised.

"I won't be providing you with that information, Maxim. I represent Tony Gianopolous, and I'm not going to break privilege, let alone break the law."

Harvey's words reverberated around the room and it seemed everyone held their breath. Nothing was said, the silence only shattered when Roman burst out laughing.

"Very funny, Harvey. Hand over the information," he said still grinning, but his eyes conveyed a very different sentiment.

Harvey didn't flinch. He didn't respond to Roman in any way, he didn't even look at him. He held Maxim's gaze instead. The older Karimov gave nothing away as he eyeballed him back.

"It's not a joke," Harvey said calmly.

Maxim narrowed his eyes then and tilted his head slightly as he studied Harvey. "I understood you to be a clever man, Harvey. If what you're saying is true, that would be a very stupid move on your part," he said softly, his gaze unwavering.

"I didn't say I came empty-handed, though. I've got something else for you instead," Harvey responded with a slight quirk of his lips.

Roman scoffed. "Yeah, well, we don't want fucking flowers and chocolates or membership to Louis's mud club. I made it perfectly clear what the third condition was, and I think I also made it pretty clear, what would happen if you didn't cough up."

Harvey felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, but once again he didn't flinch. He had expected this kind of initial response from Roman, and he knew he couldn't react to any threats made.

"What I have, is much more valuable to you than what you're asking of me," Harvey said directly to Maxim.

"That's fucking doubtful!" Roman shouted.

Maxim placed a hand on his brother's arm as though to calm him. He then leant back in his chair and tapped his finger's on the table, as he looked between Harvey and Mike.

"You may or may not have something for us, Harvey. It might even be hugely valuable. But you agreed to certain conditions, and you haven't met them. So I'm going to give you one final chance to keep your end of the deal, or I'm afraid this meeting is not going to end the way you want it to."

Harvey could feel the nervous energy emanating from Mike as his friend shuffled slightly in his seat. He took a deep breath though, and placed his hands out on the table as he once again looked directly at Maxim.

"Here's the thing, Maxim. I can read people pretty well, and I'm sensing that while you have a head for business, you also like to gamble. You like to take risks, but you're not reckless. Turning down what I'm offering over an agreement that I was forced to make by your brother, would be reckless. What I have for you is not only valuable, I'd go as far to say, it's crucial information."

Maxim smirked. He then started chuckling as he shook his head at Harvey's words.

"I like you, Harvey. You've got balls… well, for now, anyway," he said. "But I don't like to be taken for a fool. I don't appreciate being played. I find it tiresome."

Harvey swallowed thickly, but he said nothing. He knew he was pushing the situation to its limit, and he hated with every fibre of his being that he was risking Donna in the process. He still couldn't look across at her. He couldn't waver from the path that he'd chosen, and seeing her vulnerable and frightened would shake his resolve without a doubt. So he continued to focus on the two men before him, his heart pounding as he waited to see what they would do.

It was as though Maxim had sensed Harvey's thoughts because he _did_ glance across at Samuel and Donna before returning his gaze to the two lawyers.

"I meant what I said when I told you I regretted the violence used against Donna. So how about I offer you a lifeline… as some sort of recompense."

Maxim hunched forward and with a smirk, he nodded at Harvey. "You're right, I am a gambler. I'm a pretty good one too. Like you, I'm _also_ good at reading people and I'm really good at tapping into what people want, what they desire. That's why we started in casinos, you know. It's a lucrative business, feeding those desires. This club was one of our first." He pointed at the room about them. "So how about you and I have a little wager. I've been told you think of yourself as a great poker player."

Harvey raised his eyebrows, and he nodded in response. "I am."

"Well I am too, Harvey. Never lost a game. So, I'll give you a choice. You and I have a game of poker. You win, I'll allow you to tell me about this valuable… sorry, crucial information you've brought with you. If you lose—"

"I won't lose," Harvey said with a smile.

Maxim smirked. "If you lose, you will be escorted from this room and you will never see Miss Paulsen again," he said, all humour gone from his tone. Harvey paled at his words.

Mike cleared his throat. "Is there another option? What if Harvey chooses not to play?" he asked, looking more than slightly alarmed.

Maxim shrugged. "Your only other alternative is to give us those details on the Giannopoulos deal as originally instructed." He looked back at Harvey then and smiled. "...and I know you have that information on you, Harvey. It's your back up plan because there is no way in hell that you would risk her. You might like to give the impression that you don't care about anyone but yourself, but she's the exception isn't she?"

Harvey's breath hitched. The bastard wasn't wrong when he'd said he could read people. They had indeed brought everything that they had on Tony Giannopolous, just in case. He'd come to an agreement with Samantha and Mike that if their plan failed, he would give the Karimov's what they wanted. It was their fail-safe. Better to lose his license, better to go to jail than to risk losing their lives. Risk losing Donna's life.

But Maxim had seen through their bluff, and from the look on the smug bastard's face, he was well aware they knew it.

"It's one or the other though, Harvey. I'll only listen to what you have to say if you can beat me at poker. If you lose, the deal is off and you and your sidekick will leave here without her and I promise you, she will pay the ultimate price. So... if you're not willing to risk her life, we'll forgo the poker and you just hand over the Giannopoulos information instead, right now!"

Harvey visibly deflated and he let out a deep sigh before turning to face Mike. His friend looked back at him with apologetic eyes. They both knew that this had always been a possibility. That there was every chance The Karimov's wouldn't budge on their original demands. They also both knew that there was no way Harvey would risk Donna's life if there was any way he could avoid her coming to harm. His own sacrifice was a price he was more than willing to pay.

Harvey acknowledged his friend's sorrowful look with a tiny shake of his head. Mike sighed deeply as he reached back into his bag to retrieve the files they were hoping they wouldn't have to use. However, before he had a chance to remove the folders, a determined female voice cut through the tension in the room.

"Deal! He'll take your offer. Set the game up!"

Every pair of eyes in the room turned towards her in surprise.

Harvey was horrified. "Jesus Christ, Donna!...No!" he gasped.

Donna was staring at Maxim, avoiding Harvey's pleading eyes. "He'll do it," she repeated. "And once he's beaten your ass in poker, he'll then save that same sorry ass by giving you the information he's brought for you. The information that you seem to think you don't need."

Harvey stared at her open-mouthed. She was noticeably shaking, but she looked resolute, her words spoken with true conviction.

Maxim smiled at her, not phased by her cutting words. He seemed amused, if not impressed by the bold move she'd made. "The lady in the room has spoken, it would seem," he said with a nod towards her.

"No!" Harvey bellowed once again, he was shaking his head vigorously now. He'd started to sweat, his hands clammy, as he desperately fought to think of a way to put a stop to this madness.

"I think that as it's Donna's life on the line, it's only reasonable that she should make the call," Maxim added, ignoring Harvey's panicked protestations.

"Are you sure about this, Maxim?" Samuel piped up. He was no longer looking smug. His expression indicated that he wasn't happy with the turn of events at all. Something that Harvey would normally have noted and taken comfort from had he not still been reeling from Donna's outburst.

"I am...very sure." Maxim gave Samuel a cold hard stare.

"Excellent," Roman sniggered, and he clapped his hands, rubbing them together in glee before turning to one of the muscle heads standing guard behind them. "Go get one of the poker dealer's," he barked. He grinned at Harvey as he stood from the table. He stretched and then walked back to the bar to fix himself another drink.

Mike had placed his hand on Harvey's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. Harvey barely noticed. He was glaring at Donna. She slowly lifted her gaze to him then, so that she was staring right back into his brown orbs. They were looking at each other properly for the first time since entering the room. Harvey's shoulder's had slumped, his head had fallen to one side as he gave her a look of pure desperation. How could she do this? Risk her life like this? He felt a surge of anger, and something akin to panic. How could she lay the responsibility of such a life or death decision on him? Why would she put that burden on him?

Then, as though she could hear every question he was screaming at her in his mind, she nodded at him imperceptibly. The realisation of what she was trying to say to him, hit him squarely in the chest. For she was looking at him the exact same way that she'd done when he'd come to her the night before Mike's trial. Her eyes conveyed the same message she'd given him that night.

" _I have faith in you."_

Harvey swallowed down the lump in his throat. He was still furious with her, but his jaw tightened and he nodded his agreement. It was clear that Maxim had left him little choice but to agree, and he now needed to reassure her that he was okay with it. Except that he wasn't, he was far from okay with it.

It was mere minutes later that a dealer from the Casino had joined them in the room. He proceeded to open and shuffle a brand new deck of cards as Maxim returned to the table with a drink in his hand.

Roman had remained at the bar. He was on his third drink already and was looking pretty smug and confident. He'd been briefly joined by a more pessimistic looking Samuel. He seemed less convinced of Maxim's chances of winning, no doubt concerned what might be revealed if the game went Harvey's way.

Mike had been moved to one of the other sofas. He'd wished Harvey luck, despite his former mentor's previous claim that luck had no bearing on winning at poker, but it seemed the only appropriate thing to say at the time. He'd tried glancing across to Donna a few times, in a vain attempt to reassure her that everything would be alright. Ridiculous, really, considering everything was pretty far from alright, and it was her life on the line. She wouldn't look at Mike though, and he was fairly sure it was her way of protecting him. If Harvey lost the game, she wouldn't be leaving this room ever again, and Mike would no doubt torture himself with images of her frightened face.

Harvey sat quietly at the poker table. He'd accepted Maxim's second offer of a drink, and was sipping a Macallan 36. It occurred to him, as he let the smooth liquid warm his throat, that Macallan 36 was Forstman's drink of choice. He wondered whether that was a mere coincidence.

"So, Harvey, 5 card stud. We play until one of us goes bust, is that okay?" Maxim asked as he opened his hands in a friendly gesture.

"Works for me," Harvey replied with a shrug.

Maxim waved his hand at the dealer to begin dealing the cards. A hush descended in the room as they began to play. Mike leant forward, his initial decision to avoid watching the game soon went out of the window. His nerves got the better of him, and he found himself compelled to watch.

Harvey started well. Ten minutes into the game and Maxim had lost nearly half of his chips. A combination of a few strong hands and some tactical bluffing were working well for New York's finest closer. Maxim only seemed slightly perturbed though, and Mike guessed that he was biding his time, using those first few games to get a read on Harvey, suss out his tells. Which concerned Mike a little, as, from memory, that's also how Harvey liked to play.

Sure enough, the tables started to turn. Maxim had begun to even the score, and then he hit Harvey hard with a brazen bluff that seemed to shake the lawyer, somewhat. Maxim had raised the pot to $300,000 and after a few minutes consideration, Harvey had folded. No-one seemed shocked as the elder Karimov was oozing confidence by this point. Mike didn't doubt that it was the right move by Harvey, and assumed Maxim must have had a strong hand. However, when the cards were turned, Harvey revealed two pairs, which would have easily beaten Maxim's 'Jack' high.

Mike felt his breath catch in his throat, and he stared at his friend, hoping to see his normal swagger and confidence. However, Harvey looked anything but confident. He was sweating, and Mike noticed a tremble in his hands as he picked up the next round of cards, dealt to him.

Maxim on the other hand, was as impassive as ever. He gave nothing away. He maintained this air of quiet, understated confidence. Mike was pretty sure at this point that it was his cool composure that was getting under Harvey's skin, and he began to wonder if his old mentor had finally met his match. That thought terrified him. This was no ordinary game. Donna's life was at stake, and as Mike spotted a bead of sweat trickle down the side of Harvey's face, his stomach lurched at the prospect that Harvey could lose.

Maxim glanced at his cards, his face once again devoid of any emotion. He looked across to Harvey, whose turn it was to bet.

Mike studied his friend closely as Harvey briefly looked at the cards dealt to him. He didn't outwardly give anything away. He seemed unruffled, but Mike knew his friend well. He picked up on the slight twitch of his eye as he'd peeked at his cards. The faint swallow in his throat, as he'd reached for his chips. This wasn't good. He had a weak hand, and he was trying to bluff it. All Mike could do was pray that Maxim hadn't picked up on those subtle, ever so slight tells.

Harvey threw a few chips onto the table, and he looked up and eyeballed Maxim with the tiniest quirk of his lips.

Maxim leant back in his chair and without breaking eye contact, he matched the number of chips Harvey had bet, adding a handful more. "I raise you $100,000," he said softly.

Harvey quirked his eyebrows and softly chuckled. He seemed to consider his own dwindling stack of chips before looking back across to Maxim. He smiled his cheshire cat grin at him, but the other man did not bat an eye.

' _Don't do it, Harvey, Don't do it. He knows you're bluffing. Don't do it,'_ Mike was screaming in his head. Everyone else observing the game seemed mesmerised by the battle of wills being played out before them. Mike, on the other hand, wanted to throw up.

Harvey cocked his head to one side, and then with a satisfied smirk, he abruptly pushed his chips into the middle of the table.

"All in," he said more as a challenge than a statement.

_FUCK!_ Mike felt the bile rise up in his throat, as the reality dawned on him that Harvey was indeed going to try and bluff his opponent with a weak hand. His mentor was expecting Maxim to fold, but Mike was becoming more and more convinced that Maxim had seen through his bravado.

"That's a bold move, my friend. Are you sure it's the right one?" Maxim asked with a wry smile.

"I'm sure," Harvey answered with a grin. "So the real question is, are you going to call, or fold?

_Fuck! No, Harvey. This is not happening._ Mike was shaking now, and he craned his neck to risk a glance at Donna. She had her head bowed, she wasn't watching the game at all. Mike couldn't even begin to imagine what must be going through her head at that moment.

Maxim started laughing, and he wagged his finger at Harvey. "You really are good, Harvey. I have to hand it to you. I can see why you are renowned for being an excellent poker player." Maxim's eyes sparkled as he leant forward in his chair. "You nearly had me fooled you know, you put on a great show of confidence. However, I've been studying you closely this whole time, and I know when you're bluffing. Even the best players have tells. They may be minute, undetectable to most, but I spotted them."

Mike wanted to scream as he noticed Harvey's smile falter just a fraction.

"So, Harvey. I'm not folding." He pushed all of his own chips across the table. "I call."

Harvey's shoulders slumped. He picked up his Macallan to take a sip, and this time there was no mistaking the trembling of his hand. All the colour had drained from his face.

Samuel started to laugh then. "Oh dear, Harvey. You're looking a bit pale. Come on, let's see your hand. No, wait, let me bring Donna over to you so she can see what cards you got. I think that would be quite poetic, don't you?" He hauled Donna up from her seating position and pushed her towards the poker table. She whimpered, her legs buckling beneath her but she didn't look up, keeping her head bowed.

Harvey lifted his head then and glared at Samuel as he slowly turned his cards over.

**_Four 9's and a 4 of clubs_ **

"Four of a kind," he said as he turned his head back to Maxim.

Samuel's face fell in shock, Donna let out a sob, and Mike could have punched the air with joy and relief. There were only two hands that Maxim could possibly hold to beat Harvey, and from the look on Karimov's face, he didn't have either.

For the first time that evening, Maxim looked bothered. No, not bothered. He looked pissed. Really pissed. He tossed his cards towards the dealer, revealing that he only had two pairs.

Harvey leant back in his chair with a self-satisfied smile. "You were right, Maxim. I did put on a great show. I made sure you saw exactly what I wanted you to see." He took another gulp of his drink. "Like I said to you before, I can read people, and I had you sussed the moment you walked through that door. You like to be in control, Maxim...but you just got played, and as unsettling as this has been for you, hopefully you can now see that I'm the best at what I do. Even when the odds are stacked against me, I win anyway. It's just who I am. So when I tell you that I have something for you that you're gonna want, you're gonna need, you don't pass it off."

Maxim bit the side of his cheek as he stared at Harvey. He pursed his lips and nodded slowly, before turning to the dealer. "Leave us," he ordered.

As soon as the dealer exited the room, Samuel shoved Donna so that she fell back onto the sofa. He then approached the poker table looking alarmed. "Maxim, they reneged on the deal we made. You can't let him get away with that. _This_ is him playing you, right now."

Maxim huffed in annoyance before dismissing Samuel's opposition. "No, I agreed to changing the terms of the deal. Something I would never have considered doing if you hadn't laid a finger on Miss Paulsen," he snapped.

Samuel scowled, but he didn't respond.

"Now," Maxim said as he addressed Harvey once again. "I think you've made your point. I agreed to hear you out if you won, and I always keep my word. So… I'm all ears, Harvey. Just be warned though, if it's not as valuable as the Giannopoulos files—"

"I assure you it is," Mike interrupted, as he got up and stepped back towards the table. He sat next to Harvey, giving his friend a brief smile and a nod.

Harvey took a deep breath, and he placed his palms on the table. "You never wanted this whole arrangement, did you Maxim? Muscling in on Jim's deal, the physical attack on him, Donna being kidnapped...none of it. It's been thrust on you because of circumstances that came about following the FBI investigation you suffered last year."

Maxim said nothing.

Harvey pressed on. "You had your assets frozen by the FBI, that had to have hurt. You were at risk of losing everything you'd worked so hard for. It had been going so well too, your legitimate businesses were thriving, your more clandestine operations were way under the radar. Then you had a bit of trouble with that car dealership, the FBI came sniffing around and things started to take a nasty turn."

"Is this going somewhere?" Samuel snorted. "This is hardly new information, we knew you'd look into them. We even gave you time to do it."

Harvey ignored Samuel. He was still staring at Maxim. "Then Glenn Mathison happened. He sold you out. Boy, I bet that must have pissed you off. Your faithful and loyal accountant, suddenly turning on you like that?"

"It must have been so fortunate for you when he suddenly disappeared before he had to testify, no?" Mike added.

Maxim didn't flinch. He gave a small smirk and shook his head. "All I'm hearing at the moment is that you're good at research. I'm still waiting for the bombshell," he said as he drummed his fingers on the table.

"I'm getting there," Harvey said with a wave of his hand. "So you manage to escape prison, although two of your most loyal lieutenants weren't so lucky...but then all your money is frozen, and you're up shit creek without a paddle. Until this guy appears." He pointed at Samuel. "Samuel offered you a way out of the mess you'd found yourself in. Money. Lots of money. Only it came with a catch, didn't it?"

Roman thumped the bar where he was standing. "This is bullshit. Is this honestly all you've got? What kind of—"

"You're being manipulated, Maxim," Harvey interrupted. "There's a puppet master pulling all the strings, and he's making you do a merry dance."

Silence followed Harvey's statement, which was immediately broken by Samuel bursting into fits of laughter. "Is that it?" he shouted. "Is that your big revelation? Because I hate to break it to you, Harvey, but if you're referring to my step-brother, Charles Forstman… Maxim already knows!"

Harvey was still staring intently at Maxim, but he slowly shook his head at Samuel's reaction.

"Yes, Samuel. We discovered your connection with Charles Forstman. We know he was the one that wanted me involved in this, wanted to see me ruined…" Harvey hesitated, and he sat forward so that his elbows rested on the poker table. "But, I'm not talking about him."

Maxim's eyes grew wide then, as he took in the words Harvey was saying. "What do you mean?" he asked carefully.

"I'm saying that while Charles is definitely deeply involved in this, and he _is_ most definitely using you to his advantage… _He_ isn't the one that's been behind the scenes, playing you right from the start."

"Oh…? Who is then?"

"Let's just say that when money and power are involved, blood really isn't thicker than water... Isn't that right, Roman?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is not beta'd, so if there are any mistakes etc. I am sorry. I have edited and reviewed myself so I'm keeping everything crossed that you still enjoy this latest chapter.
> 
> Finally, I beg a great deal of poetic license regarding FBI, SEC, The American legal system etc.. I have no clue, so forgive my ignorance if I'm way off the mark!
> 
> Thank you
> 
> Jo x

* * *

Mike had never believed in the phenomenon known as 'your life flashing before your eyes when faced with death'. He'd always chalked it up to dramatic license, something storytellers used for theatrical impact. In fact he used to tease anyone that claimed it happened, telling them that it was a romantic notion, full of melodrama. He would joke that if you were unlucky enough to be faced with the high probability of sudden death, it was more likely that the only thoughts that would probably go through your head, would be a string of profanities.

However, he was now willing to concede that he'd been wrong. For, in the last few seconds, sitting there, in a backroom of The Beaufort club, he'd seen every significant moment of his life flash through his mind, in rapid, non-chronological succession. Plus a few insignificant ones too.

Right after Harvey had dropped his Roman Karimov bombshell, and the hysterical laughter from said younger brother had subsided, the distinct sound of guns being cocked reverberated around the room, followed by a few sharp intakes of breath.

As Mike felt the cold steel of the muzzle of one of those guns, pressed firmly into the back of his head, he found himself taken on a three second trip down memory lane.

He saw his Dad clapping and cheering as he rode his bike for the first time without stabilisers. He heard his mother singing him to sleep after he'd had a particularly nasty attack of chicken pox. He saw Nick Rinaldi with his settlement papers, poised to offer his Grammy a meagre sum of money just days before his parent's funeral. He listened to his college dean telling him with relish that he was never going to Harvard. He saw Trevor laughing hysterically at a quip he'd made while they were stoned. He recalled the panic he felt when the briefcase fell open, spilling packets of weed all over the hotel room floor, as Harvey looked on with shock and amusement. He saw Frank Gallo with a knife in his hand ready to strike. Then he saw Rachel. He watched her glide down the corridors of Pearson Hardman as she conducted his orientation. He heard her giggle as he tickled her beneath their bedsheets in their apartment. He saw her as his beautiful bride, her eyes wet with unshed tears as she recited her vows. He felt her gentle touch as he swung her around the dancefloor at their wedding.

Yes, he'd been proven wrong, and God, how he wished he hadn't been in a situation where the theory he'd mocked, had been proven right.

"Have I hit a nerve?" Harvey asked with a boldness that did little to comfort Mike in any way.

"I think I've had enough of listening to you, Harvey," Maxim said, his eyes narrowed. "It's all smoke and mirrors. Nothing has any substance. You've had your chance, and I'm afraid—"

"You know it's not though, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. You know that it actually makes a lot of sense."

Maxim didn't flinch. He stared at Harvey intently.

"This is such bullshit. I'm bored now, just fucking kill them already," Roman shouted. He gave a nod to their armed associates as though giving an order.

Mike squeezed his eyes shut.

"If you're gonna kill us, you're gonna kill us. But you might as well hear me out first, no?" Harvey said to Maxim, his tone still calm, but Mike detected the tension in his voice.

"Nice try, Specter. He's not interested. Your time has run out!" Roman snarled.

"What are you afraid of, Roman? If I'm totally wrong, and you and Maxim trust each other implicitly, then what's the harm in hearing what I have to say?" Harvey countered.

Roman launched himself forward then from the bar he'd been propped against. His face was red with rage.

"The harm is that I don't want to stand here, listening to you spout utter bullshit about me to my brother. Why the fuck should I?" He turned to his brother then. "Enough, Maxim. Let's finish this and be done with it."

"Maxim!" Donna's voice once again echoed around the room. "Please hear Harvey out. Killing us now, only raises your chance of exposure, something I know you want to avoid at all costs. I know that you already feel that this situation is out of control, and just like I told you before, Harvey can get you out of this mess. At the very least, hear him out, and if you're still not convinced then—"

She was silenced when Roman turned on his heel, took two strides towards her and struck her across the face. She fell back with a cry.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" Harvey roared as he made to leap out of his chair, his movements halted instantly when he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"That's enough!" Maxim shouted.

Harvey sunk back into his chair, his eyes darting between the gun in his face and the crumpled form of Donna. He was panting now, his previous composure shattered as a combination of fear and rage flooded his system.

"Roman, I will not tolerate behaviour like that. Control yourself," Maxim warned.

Roman spun around and looked incredulously at his brother. "You expect me to stand around and listen to this? What...I'm just supposed to take it, while they try and twist everything? Pin everything on me in order to save their own necks?"

"I expect you to do as you're told. I'm inclined to let Harvey have his say. If you've done nothing wrong, Roman, then you have nothing to fear, and they will pay the price for daring to insinuate otherwise," Maxim said softly but firmly.

"Oh, right!" Roman scoffed. "So I can't touch her, but it's okay for you to put a bullet through her head."

"Roman, I said, that's enough. I've made my decision."

Roman scowled as he shook his head. He cast his eyes to Harvey and glared at him before smirking to himself. He then sauntered back to the bar, pouring himself a tumbler full of Vodka.

Samuel had sat quietly throughout this whole exchange. Now that they seemed to have a brief reprieve, Mike dared to glance across at him, interested to see his reaction to what had been said. Samuel was watching the two brothers intently, his eyes constantly darting between them. He seemed agitated, nervous. This made Mike feel only slightly better. An apprehensive Samuel indicated they were getting close to the mark, which was great if the bastard wasn't such a psycho. Mike had rapidly come to the conclusion that with Roman impulsive and violent and Samuel slightly unhinged, they had no guarantees of getting out of this nightmare, even if they managed to convince Maxim of Harvey's theory.

"Okay, Harvey. I'll hear you out, you have my attention. I very much hope for your sake that you're not wasting my time." Maxim crossed his hands over his knee as he leant back casually in his chair. He fixed his stare on Harvey.

Harvey Swallowed heavily. " I can guarantee your brother is not gonna like one word that comes out of my mouth, so can I first get some assurances that he's not going to flip out or do anything stupid while I talk?"

"Just say what you need to say, Harvey!" Maxim said in warning, clearly growing impatient. Roman snorted to himself in disgust as he leant against the bar.

Harvey flashed a look at Mike who nodded back at him. The older lawyer took a deep breath.

"Okay. When I was last here listening to Roman make his demands, Mike and Samantha, meanwhile, were busy digging in to you and your brother, and Samuel of course."

"Naturally," Maxim said nonchalantly.

"When I left here and returned to Jim's house, Mike revealed to me that he'd found the connection between Samuel and Charles Forstman. Suddenly, Roman's demands made perfect sense. They were designed to ruin me. They would incriminate me, force me to break the law. To make me pay dearly for ever crossing swords with Forstman. Mike also uncovered the FBI investigation and how you had lost access to your money as a result, so I could easily see how Forstman fit into the equation. He could fund your organisation for you, and in return, you would take me down for him."

Maxim shrugged. "I'm still waiting, Harvey."

"Mike theorised that when your two loyal lieutenants were jailed following that investigation, they came into contact with Forstman, and once Charles heard about your predicament, he sent Samuel to meet with Roman to make a deal." Harvey paused. "Except, I don't think that's how it happened at all. I think Mike got it the wrong way round."

"Really," Maxim huffed. He looked less than impressed with what Harvey had said so far.

"Let me explain. I'm going to tell you a story, Maxim. An interesting story about Roman Karimov and his unrequited ambition."

"Oh, this is gonna be good," Roman said rubbing his hands together. "Should I get popcorn?"

Harvey ignored his sarcasm, and he leant back in his chair, mirroring Maxim's laid back body language.

"Roman's been in your shadow for a long time, hasn't he? You've known for some time that he's not happy being seen as the younger, less important Karimov. Everyone always deferred to you, and he felt no more important than any one of your other high ranking employees. He's less intelligent, less sophisticated, more impulsive and definitely not as shrewd."

"Remind me not to ask you to fill out my Tinder profile," Roman sneered. He was making a show of finding the whole thing amusing, but there was unmistakably a flash of danger in his eyes.

"Roman, be quiet," Maxim snapped. "...and I think you've had enough to drink by now, don't you?"

"I'll fucking drink if I want to. I need it to get through this bullshit." He gestured at Harvey with a wave of his drink, some of the liquid sploshing on to the floor. "But, please, carry on. I can't wait to hear what comes next."

Harvey pursed his lips, but pressed on. "At some point, probably about a couple of years ago, Roman felt he'd had enough of living in your shadow. He was greedy, ambitious and definitely ruthless. I reckon it was around the time that you were trying to legitimize a lot of your businesses, move away from your more criminal activities that he decided to make a move. Roman isn't as patient as you Maxim, so he definitely didn't share your desire to let go of your illegal practises. In his eyes, they made the most money in the quickest amount of time, and with enough people in your pockets, that side of your operation was way too profitable and therefore more than worth the risk. You'd made it clear though, that going legit was the direction that you wanted to go in. Roman didn't agree and had had enough. So he came up with a plan."

For the first time since losing the poker game, Mike noticed that Maxim looked a little disconcerted. A frown had formed on his face and he shuffled slightly in his seat. Mike sensed that Harvey's words were starting to ring some truth.

"He wasn't bold or brave enough to challenge you to your face, and he was well aware that you had a lot of loyal support. So his first move was to create a nasty fight between the car dealership you own in Boston and one of your rivals. He did enough underhand, shady shit to make sure you got noticed by the FBI. When the investigation started, he began whispering to certain members of your organization, planting seeds of doubt and discontent. He was weakening your authority, making it look like you weren't up to the job anymore. It wasn't enough though, so he raised the stakes even further. He coerced Glen Mathison, your accountant, into leaking information to the FBI. Not just any information though. Doctored information that made it look like you were the one instigating all of the criminal activity. He was setting you up to take the fall, with the intention of taking over the business once you were taken down by the Feds."

"This is such a jok—"

Maxim held his hand up, silencing Roman immediately. Mike glanced across to the bar. Both Roman and Samuel were looking more and more nervous and agitated. In turn, Mike was more and more convinced with every passing second, that Harvey's hunch had been right.

"Then the plan suffered a bit of a set back," Harvey continued. "As well as passing on the information Roman was feeding him to the FBI, Mathison was also supposed to ensure that the majority of the finances still looked squeaky clean. After all, once you were arrested and charged, Roman fully intended on taking over and continuing to grow the business, _his_ way. However, Mathison shit the bed. The FBI found enough evidence to authorise the SEC to freeze your assets. I can only guess what happened next. Mathison disappeared. I still don't know if _you_ made that happen when Roman fed you the line that it was your accountant that had betrayed you, or whether Roman killed him because of his fuck up."

"We didn't touch Mathison," Maxim said slowly, but his expression betrayed his uncertainty. "He was paid off, that's all."

Mike scoffed. "Did _you_ pay him off? Or did your brother handle it for you? Because if it's the latter, I highly doubt he's sunning himself somewhere in the carribean."

Maxim didn't reply, but he was breathing more heavily now as he contemplated everything he was hearing. He glanced at his brother and tilted his head slowly as if studying him more closely. "Roman?"

Roman cackled as he shook his head. He was swaying slightly on the spot, clearly more than a little inebriated. "Yeah...of course, Maxim. I killed him, right before I shot Kennedy and I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby." He drained his glass before immediately pouring another. "I took care of it, that's all you need to know."

Maxim tightened his jaw and closed his eyes briefly. Mike noticed that his fists were clenched under the table.

"Is that it?" Maxim all but snapped at Harvey.

"Nope, not quite." Harvey paused as he chanced a quick glance at Roman. The younger Karimov was glaring at Harvey as he slowly sipped his vodka. Harvey quickly turned back to Maxim.

"With Mathison out of the picture, you escaped prosecution. However two of your most loyal employees weren't so lucky, and with them now in prison, Roman had also managed to remove any threat they might pose to his planned coup d'etat."

"I've had enough of this!" Roman roared as he pulled a gun from the inside of his jacket and pointed it at Harvey.

"No!" Donna screamed and Mike sucked in a sharp intake of breath. He felt his blood run cold.

Maxim gave a quick nod to his men. In an instant, they turned their guns from the two lawyers, and trained them onto the shaking and now swaying form of Roman Karimov.

Roman stood open mouthed, clearly shell shocked at the action, however it was Samuel that spoke up.

"Maxim, this is ridiculous. Harvey is playing you, just like he did in that poker game. Losing to him must have really knocked you off your g—"

"When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it Samuel," Maxim bit back.

"For fuck sake...Maxim! It's me…" Roman shouted incredulously. "You can't possibly believe this bullshit."

"Right now, I don't know what to believe. But Harvey hasn't finished his tale yet, so if it's okay with you, little brother, I'll reserve judgement until he's finished. Now put your gun away."

Roman was still shaking with what appeared to be a combination of fear and rage, but he lowered his arm.

"Continue, Harvey," Maxim said softly, but there was a fire behind his eyes. He too was full of rage. Who he vented that anger on though, still remained to be seen.

Harvey cleared his throat and swallowed before continuing.

"Roman kept in touch with the patsies that had gone to jail for you. He discovered that Forstman was holed up in the same prison, and he immediately saw an opportunity. Who better than a corrupt, convicted billionaire to get you out of your financial jam. He used those two loyal employees to make contact with Forstman. Float the idea of financing your operation, help him usurp you, Maxim, and in return he would allow Charles joint control of your business. Obviously, as he was in prison, Roman would run everything on the outside."

Roman was shaking his head, his breathing rapid as he tightly gripped the gun at his side. He looked like a man unravelling before their very eyes. Harvey seemed to sense it too, so he pressed on, not wanting to lose any momentum or allow Roman or Samuel the chance to stop him.

"Charles, meanwhile, had heard about Jim's deal and saw his own opportunity. He would take over your business and get revenge on me at the same time. He sent Samuel to liaise with Roman and finalise the deal. A deal that would see me ruined and you, Maxim,...gone! Of course, what your brother didn't realise is that Charles had no intention of sharing the business with the likes of him, either. He'd promised Samuel control instead, once everything was settled. Both you and Roman would have been finished, one way or the other."

"What?" Roman almost screamed, as Samuel's head also shot up in alarm. "You're talking out of your ass! Forstman was happy with the deal I offered him. He saw it simply as a good investment, a means to make some money. He wouldn't—"

"Wouldn't double cross you?" Harvey laughed as he shook his head. "You forget, Roman. I've known Charles Forstman for a long time. I know that bastard all too well, better than his own step-brother over there. As I've told others before you, there are only three things that Charles Forstman is interested in, and Money is only third on that list. The first two are getting revenge on people and getting control of people, and you, you pathetic, sorry son of a bitch, played straight into his hands."

Roman opened and closed his mouth like a guppy fish. He was trembling from head to toe, the gun visibly shaking in his hand.

Maxim took one look at his brother and he stood up then to face him. His expression was resigned. He knew without any actual proof being provided that everything Harvey had said was true. The whole story had been legitimized for him, simply by Roman's countenance and the look of sheer panic on his face.

"Maxim… I would never…" Roman was stuttering, his face pale with fear.

"My own brother! I gave you everything you have. I helped raise you for fuck sake. This is how you repay me?"

Fury flashed across Roman's face then at his brother's words. "Gave me everything? Are you fucking kidding me. I worked my ass off for you! I did everything you ever asked of me. All the nasty work, all the shady, underhand shit that you didn't want to get your hands dirty with, and for what? For you to talk down to me, treat me like shit...like a child?" he thundered.

"Don't pretend that you didn't relish doing all that dirty work, Roman. That was the reason I kept you on a tight leash. You had a taste for it, a preference for violence even when it wasn't necessary."

"Bullshit! You kept me on a tight leash because you felt threatened. I was a risk to your power and control!"

"Well if I did feel threatened, it wasn't unfounded was it? Clearly!" Maxim stepped closer to his brother then, his expression, that of disgust. "So what was the plan then Roman? How exactly did you plan on deposing me? Were you going to take care of me the same way you took care of Glenn Mathison?" he spat.

Roman didn't answer. He stood paralysed. His body rigid, but his eyes darting frantically about the room, from his brother's outraged face, to the several men who were all pointing their firearms at him. His panicked gaze then fell on Harvey, and with a sudden roar he raised his gun again and launched himself towards him.

"You fucking bastard! I'll fucking kill you-"

With another swift nod from Maxim, Roman was seized before he managed to reach Harvey, his gun dropping to the floor with a thud.

Maxim then directed his men with a flick of his head towards the door. Roman, while still trying to lunge at Harvey, his face incandescent with rage, was dragged away kicking. He was screaming a string of swear words at Harvey, but then he began desperately yelling Maxim's name, as the reality of his situation dawned on him.

Silence swiftly descended in the room, as Roman's cries faded into the distance.

Maxim stood motionless. His face now showed little emotion, a mask had fallen down across his features.

"I take it, you do actually have some proof, Harvey. To back up everything you've said?" he said quietly.

Harvey had been sat in shock at the turn of events. Maxim's question stirred him from his thoughts.

"We had enough to convince you, yes," he said shakily. "Samantha obtained confirmation from the FBI that they were given info by Mathison, that specifically implicated you. They have incriminating documentation that has your signature, your name was peppered all over it. I think knowing how you were trying to legitimise your business, it's safe to say that any damaging evidence they held should have had Roman's name and signature, not yours. Samantha has forwarded copies of some of that documentation to us. Mike can show you, if you want."

Mike reached to open up his laptop again but Maxim shook his head and dismissed Harvey's offer with a wave of his hand. "That won't be necessary," he said before falling back into silence again.

Harvey glanced at Mike, who was looking and feeling decidedly queasy by now. He felt like he had run the full gamut of emotions since arriving at The Beaufort club. Things had definitely improved for them in the last ten minutes or so, that was for sure. Not hard, really, considering they'd had guns pointed to their heads. However, they weren't out of the woods yet. Mike had no idea what Maxim's next move might be, not to mention Samuel who now standing near the bar, looking decidedly jittery.

Mike's thoughts were interrupted when Maxim suddenly strode towards the couch where Donna had been slumped since Roman had struck her. She looked at him with fear and trepidation as he lifted her up and turned her around.

Harvey was straight out of his seat in a flash but was once again halted by a gun to his face.

Harvey opened his mouth to protest, but noticed Maxim cutting the ties that bound Donna's hands together. He then stepped away back towards Harvey.

"You are free to go, Harvey, and you can take Donna with you," he said, his voice almost monotone. "I have something I need to attend to."

Harvey looked relieved and then alarmed when he realised the implications of what he was saying.

"Maxim, whatever you are planning on doing with Roman...don't!" Harvey said.

Maxim quirked his lips and gave a soft, humourless chuckle. "That's of no concern to you, Harvey."

"Yes, it is. I hate that son of a bitch. He's brought us nothing but pain and grief, and I would like nothing more than to beat the shit out of him, but you need him alive. The Feds never closed their investigation, and when Samantha contacted them again today to ask for proof, they insisted on her disclosing what we knew. They now know all about Roman's deal with Forstman, but just like before, they don't have any proof to enable them to arrest him. If you kill him, they'll have nothing, and you _will_ go down for it all instead. They could even go after you for Mathison's disappearance. You need him alive, Maxim."

"Like I said, Harvey. You, Mike and Donna are free to go. I suggest you do so before I change my mind."

"No-one is going anywhere!" Samuel's voice rang out in the room. Everyone turned to look at him. He was standing in front of the bar, a gun in his hand and he was pointing it at Maxim.

Maxim rolled his eyes. "If you shoot me, Samuel. You'll be dead before I even hit the floor." The one remaining bodyguard that was standing next to Maxim immediately raised his own gun to prove Maxim's point.

Samuel shrugged. "Well as it's unlikely that you're gonna let me leave this place alive anyway..."

"What is it that you want, Samuel?" Maxim asked calmly.

"I want what I was promised. Control of your little empire." he answered with a smirk.

"Well that's not going to happen. You'll have to kill me first."

Samuel straightened his shoulders and he gave a little chuckle. Then all humour disappeared from his face. In the blink of an eye, he shifted his aim slightly and squeezed the trigger. There was a loud bang and Maxim's bodyguard clutched his chest and fell forward, blood oozing from him.

"Jesus Christ!" Mike yelled, as Donna cried out and Harvey froze on the spot.

Maxim stared at the body on the ground before looking back up to Samuel, his eyes wide in shock. He took one step toward Samuel but the gun went off again. Twice. This time it was Maxim that slumped to his knees, the whites of his eyes prominent as he gasped. He clutched the two wounds in his stomach, tried to say something, but could only splutter before he collapsed.

Samuel then turned the gun on Harvey, who instantly raised his hands in surrender. "Samuel, you don't have to do this. Let us leave, you can have everything you want then."

"Really?" Samuel sneered. "What about Charles's revenge on you, Harvey? He wanted to see you suffer. You've proven yourself quite the adversary. I've a suspicion that left to your own devices you'll weedle yourself out of all the little traps we set for you. That won't please my brother, now, will it?"

"You don't care about Charles, just like he doesn't care about you. You've got what you want. You have The Karimov Empire and management of your brother's estate while he's in prison."

"Yes, but I don't like loose ends," he tapped his finger on his chin as though deliberating something. "I'm just trying to decide. You and your friend Mike, really are too clever for your own good. I shoot you both now, and that will put an end to any trouble you could cause me...but then, I did promise Charles I'd bring you a lot of pain. I mean, it's the least I can do for him. What with him giving me so much!"

Mike felt his legs almost give way. This was it. One way or the other, they were _not_ walking out of here unscathed. He'd never felt so helpless. They could charge at Samuel, but while they might overpower him, it was almost guaranteed that one, if not both of them could be mortally wounded in the process.

Samuel started laughing. "Of course!...I've got the solution. What better way to make you suffer than to end the life of this beautiful redhead standing behind me!"

Harvey's eyes bulged out of his head as all breath seemed to be knocked out of his lungs.

Samuel wasted no time as he pivoted on his heel so that he was facing Donna, but blocking her from their view.

Everything then seemed to happen in slow motion.

Harvey and Mike both lurched forward instinctively, Harvey screaming "No!" at the top of his lungs, but it was to no avail. They couldn't reach Samuel in time.

The gun went off.

The sound echoed around the room as Harvey and Mike both recoiled in shock.

"No!" Harvey gasped frantically. "No, no, no, no…"

Samuel took one step nearer to Donna and the gun went off again. Twice.

There was then a momentary silence.

Samuel dropped his gun… then he collapsed to the floor.

Donna stood, arms stretched forward, a gun in her hand. Roman's gun. Smoke was still furling out the end of the barrel.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apologies for any medical or legal inaccuracies in this chapter - I beg artistic license once again.
> 
> Thank you all, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Jo x

* * *

"You did what?"

"I don't think I need to repeat myself, Samantha. I made it abundantly clear to Harvey, and you and Mike for that matter, that if I hadn't heard back from him by now, I would go to the police."

"I appreciate that _Paula_ , however, I understood from _Harvey_ , that _he_ made it abundantly clear that it was the last thing he wanted you to do!"

Samantha couldn't help but spit out her words. Her inflection leaving little doubt of her disdain for the woman stood on the doorstep.

"I know what Harvey said," Paula bristled. "However he's not thinking rationally. I've indulged his need to swoop in and save the day, but enough is enough. I am worried sick! God knows what's happened to them. Poor Rachel must be out of her mind."

"Of course she's worried, Paula. But she trusts their judgement and their decision...and did you honestly think we hadn't already covered all possibilities, that we would let them go in there without any backup?" Samantha snapped, now irritated with this woman and the conversation.

"What am I supposed to think when nobody tells me anything?" Paula had flushed red.

Samantha sighed. She wasn't in the mood to argue with Harvey's girlfriend. It had been a trying few hours. There'd been nothing but radio silence from Harvey and Mike, which was to be expected but it still hadn't helped her nerves. She hated waiting. Life-threatening situations weren't new to her. Her time spent serving abroad had seen her thrown into many treacherous and tense scenarios. It was always the waiting though, that she hated the most, even when she knew it was all that she could do.

After playing her part with the FBI and the SEC she had then ensured that someone was discreetly stationed outside The Beaufort Club, keeping an eye on the place. They wouldn't be able to do much as they had no eyes or ears inside the building, but Samantha felt a little better knowing that if Mike needed to, and was able to send a coded message for help, she could send them in. She hadn't been able to do much else other than give a quick update to Robert. She'd spent the rest of the time pacing up and down, constantly checking her phone for a possible message from Mike. Then Paula had turned up, out of the blue, agitated and more than a little irascible.

Samantha pursed her lips, shook her head and then turned on her heel as she marched back down the hallway, leaving the front door open so that Paula could follow if she wanted to.

She strode across the living room and picked up her phone. Still no message. She quickly typed out a text to Mike and sent it.

' _Code_ _P'_

"What are you doing?" Paula asked, her tone clipped.

"How long ago did you go to the police?" Samantha replied, ignoring the other woman's question.

Paula frowned and she threw her arms out in a shrug. "I don't know… I came here straight from the station precinct in Hartford, why?"

Samantha looked up and scowled. "I need to warn them. You do realise that if the Karimov brothers discover that the police are on their way, all bets will be off the table and Donna, Mike _and_ Harvey could be in serious jeopardy."

Paula narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest in a defensive gesture that wasn't lost on Samantha. "They're in bloody jeopardy anyway! They're gangsters for christ sake! We haven't heard from Harvey or Mike for several hours now, for all we know they could be severely injured or wounded, they could have had their phones taken from them, not able to contact us. I'm not waiting any longer!" she said adamantly.

Just as Samantha was about to retort her phone began buzzing. She looked down and her heart began beating rapidly. "It's Mike!" she gasped, as she swiped her thumb across to answer, holding the phone up to her ear.

* * *

Harvey stared at her.

Nobody moved. It was only a split second, yet it felt like an eon as the reality of what had just happened stunned them into silence.

Then, like a switch being flicked, and with rising panic propelling him forward, he flew towards her, stepping over the slumped form of Samuel in the process without even a glance.

She was still standing with her arms outstretched. The gun was held so tightly in her hands that her knuckles were white. She was trembling fiercely, from head to toe, as she stared off into the distance, the whites of her eyes so prominent. She was breathing rapidly and heavily, in short, sharp gasps.

"Donna?"

His eyes fearfully raked over her body, the dread and panic almost paralysing him as he desperately tried to ascertain where she had been shot by Samuel. He couldn't see any obvious wound and in confusion he reached out, cupping her face in his hands.

"Donna?" he said again more softly, although his voice caught as the worry and terror gripped him.

"Is she okay?" Mike's panicked voice rang out from behind him.

"I don't know. I think she's in shock. I can't see any blood though," Harvey said quickly. Donna hadn't reacted at all to his touch. She seemed completely incapacitated, nonresponsive except for her rapid breathing.

Mike then swiftly dropped to the floor behind Harvey and carefully rolled Samuel over. He swallowed heavily, before looking up at his friend with fearful eyes.

"He didn't shoot her, Harvey. There are three gunshot wounds here...one in the stomach and two in the chest."

Harvey gasped and then swallowed heavily as he continued to hold Donna's face gently in his hands.

"Okay…" he almost whispered in reply. His mind was whirring at a million miles an hour. He knew that there would be ramifications to what had happened here, but his primary response was relief. Absolute, utter and complete relief. This was swiftly followed by concern at the state she was in and the reality of their situation. They were by no means out of the woods yet.

"Check Maxim and his bodyguard!" he said quickly to Mike, as he moved to stand directly in Donna's line of sight.

"Donna? … Donna, it's okay. We're here, you're gonna be okay," he said gently but firmly.

She was staring right through him.

He slowly dropped his hands from her face, and carefully prised the gun from her tight grasp, placing it gingerly on the poker table behind him. Her eyes flickered then and she gradually looked across to him as her arms fell to her side. Harvey felt his chest tighten when he saw the pain, horror and confusion there behind her frightened stare.

"Neither of them have a pulse, Harvey," Mike said in alarm.

Harvey let out a deep breath and nodded in response, his eyes never wavering from Donna's. "There's nothing we can do for them. We need to get out of here, Mike," Harvey said with some urgency.

Mike stood up and stepped towards Harvey, a look of worry etched across his face. "We can't leave the scene of a crime, Harvey. How is that gonna look?"

Harvey didn't answer. He reached up and gently cradled Donna's cheek once more as his eyes darted between hers, desperately looking for any kind of reaction but there was still none. "You're safe now, Donna. I got you!" he whispered to her. Then without any further delay, and in one swift movement, he scooped Donna up in his arms, holding her tightly as he spun on his heel to face his friend.

"I don't care, Mike. As far as we're aware, Roman is still in this building, and any opposition he had to his ultimate quest for power has now been removed. I'm getting Donna out of here and I suggest you don't stick around either. We can call this in on the way to the hospital."

Mike stood open-mouthed as Harvey's words sunk in. He had momentarily forgotten about Roman, and he knew in an instant that Harvey was right… not that he would have argued with him anyway. Just one look at the determination on Harvey's face as he stood with Donna in his arms told Mike there was no room for discussion. Donna still had her eyes open, seemingly staring into the unknown without even blinking. Her whole body had fallen limp now, as Harvey cradled her. Her head was resting against his chest but both her arms were hanging loosely down.

"What about the gun?" Mike said.

"We leave it here. We leave everything here. We're not hiding what's happened, Mike, but we need to leave...Now!"

Mike nodded. He grabbed his laptop and rucksack and with one final glance at the three dead bodies that lay at their feet, he made his way to the door. He paused when he felt his phone buzz. They'd agreed with Samantha and Rachel that they would only contact him in an emergency, so he quickly glanced at the screen, noting the coded message.

"Shit!" Mike exclaimed.

"What?"

"Paula called the police. They could be here any second."

Harvey pursed his lips, briefly squeezing his eyes shut as he held Donna a little tighter to his chest. "We need to go," he said with a nod to Mike.

Without wasting another second, Mike pulled the door open and they stepped back through into the bar area of the main casino. The place was deserted, which on the one hand was fortunate, but on the other felt a little disconcerting, as there had previously been a few customers, scattered amongst the tables when they'd arrived.

They didn't linger, marching straight across the floor, towards the casino foyer. Daylight could be seen at the end of the corridor by the front doors, and it felt poignant, like light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

As they stepped outside and towards the Aston Martin, Harvey opened the back door of the car and carefully placed the still nonresponsive Donna on the back seat.

"I'm sitting with Donna, so here…" He threw Mike the car keys. "You drive!"

Mike gave a nod and as he rounded the car to the driver's side, he gave a quick gesture to the sedan stationed across the road, about 50 yards away. Samantha's friends, or ex-colleagues, or whoever they were, flashed their lights back in response, and Mike climbed into the car, starting the engine immediately. He placed his phone in the hands-free cradle, and checked his rearview mirror. His breath caught in sadness when he glimpsed Harvey supporting Donna, her body leaning against him, his lips pressed to her forehead as he ran his hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her out of her comatose state.

Mike looked away again. He checked everything was clear and pulled away from the curb, putting his foot down so that they could get away from the scene of horror as quickly as possible. Once on the road, he placed a call to Samantha.

" _Mike?"_

"We're okay, Samantha, but things didn't go as we planned. Shit went decidedly sideways," Mike said.

" _What do you mean?"_

"I mean Maxim, Samuel and one of the bodyguards are dead, Roman is on the loose and we're on our way to Bridgeport hospital right now."

" _Oh my God! I thought you said you were okay?"_

"We are, but Donna is in shock, and she's been knocked about quite a bit, we need to get her to the hospital. Can you meet us there? We'll explain the rest later."

" _Okay, we'll see you there. It'll probably take us about an hour."_

"We?"

There was a brief pause on the line. _"Paula is with me."_

Mike glanced in the rearview mirror and immediately caught Harvey's eyes as they flashed up at him. Harvey turned his face away then, tilting his head so that it rested against Donna's forehead.

"Okay," Mike said. "Samantha, before you leave, will you call Hartford hospital and just let Jim know that we have her and that she's safe."

" _Of course. Do you want me to call Rachel for you too? Let her know you're okay?"_

"No...thanks Samantha. I'll call her now," Mike said. After everything that had happened, he needed to speak to her himself. He didn't think he could function much longer without hearing her voice.

" _Okay, we'll see you in an hour."_

Samantha hung up, and Mike immediately called Rachel, her voice on the other end of the line instantly calming his nerves and settling the nausea that had been churning in his stomach since the first threats had been made. Rachel had wanted to speak to Donna as soon as she heard that they were all safe and together. Mike didn't want to tell her what had happened, not over the phone and he didn't think he was ready anyway to articulate the chain of events that had occurred. He promised to call her again once Donna was seen at the hospital and after trading 'I love you's' with each other, he hung up with a heavy sigh.

Silence once again descended in the car, the only sounds being the ambient noises of the engine, the wheels on the tarmac, and the other traffic on the road.

Harvey held Donna a little tighter. It was a vain attempt at making himself feel a little better as well as hoping that she might break out of the shocked trance she was still in. He wanted to say something to her, console her in some way, tell her that everything would be okay, but he couldn't find the words and he sensed that she was unlikely to hear them, let alone absorb their meaning in her current state.

"How is she doing?" Mike asked suddenly, their eyes locking once again in the rearview mirror.

"Her breathing has calmed, but she's in shock, without a doubt. It's like she's shut down completely," Harvey answered, his voice thick with emotion.

Mike nodded. "And what about you? How are you doing?"

Harvey didn't answer, the reflection of his eyes in the mirror saying everything that needed to be said. Mike nodded again. "Yeah… me too," he mumbled.

Mike had felt a little better after speaking to Rachel, but his stomach was still in knots and he could feel himself trembling. He'd never seen anyone die in front of his eyes before, and to experience it so suddenly and so violently had shaken him to the core. It didn't help that he felt such a confused mix of emotions. He was relieved that they'd escaped a situation that they'd initially had no guarantees they would ever get out of. Donna's life had been threatened, more than once. Their own lives had hung in the balance too, and yet, they'd made it out. But the horror of what had gone down was still with them. The choices made in that room, the actions and reactions taken, not only pretty much guaranteed there were more problems to come, but the psychological ramifications were profound.

"Donna?" Harvey said softly in that tone that he had only ever used with her. "Can you hear me? We're almost at the hospital, okay?"

She still failed to respond. Harvey looked down at her face, she was staring blankly at the back of Mike's seat. He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly, the lump in his throat seemed to be permanently lodged there. He didn't say anything more to her, but continued to caress her arm in a soothing motion, until Mike pulled up in front of the main entrance of the hospital.

"You take her in, Harvey, and I'll go park. I'll see you in there, okay?"

Harvey lifted Donna out of the car and carried her through the hospital doors and up to the main desk of the Emergency Room. He wasted no time demanding to see a doctor, and when he was initially met with resistance and told to take a seat and wait in triage, he didn't hesitate or feel guilty about name dropping the CEO of the health group that owned the hospital, who thankfully happened to be one of Louis's clients.

It was mere minutes later that Donna was placed in a private room and Harvey was told to wait outside while they assessed her.

That was how Mike found him, not long after, pacing up and down in the corridor outside her room. Harvey barely had a chance to acknowledge Mike's presence when the door to Donna's room flew open. A couple of nurses and a number of medical staff exited the room followed by Donna herself, as she was wheeled out on her hospital bed.

"What's happening?" Harvey asked in panic.

"Mr. Specter?" One of the medical staff approached Harvey, who had visibly paled, sweat forming on his brow as he watched helplessly as Donna was wheeled away.

"Where is she going? What's happening?" he asked again, his voice now raised in alarm.

"Mr. Specter, I'm Dr. Wynn. I examined Miss Paulsen." The doctor reached out a hand and gently touched Harvey's arm in an attempt to divert his attention away from Donna's disappearing form. "She is just being taken for an MRI scan. She appears to have several injuries that indicate a possible head trauma, and as she seems confused and somewhat unresponsive, we suspect she may have a cerebral contusion."

"What?" Harvey felt his legs buckle slightly.

"I know it's natural to worry, but it may be just minor bruising. We just want to make sure, okay?"

Harvey's eyes widened in shock. He had been worried and concerned about Donna, but mainly regarding her mental state. When he'd realised with relief that she hadn't been shot by Samuel, he'd not even considered that she still might be in any serious physical danger.

"...and what if it's not...minor?" he choked out.

"Then we'll treat her accordingly. It's best not to jump to any conclusions yet, let's see what the scan results show first," she replied calmly, clearly used to having this kind of discussion. "Until then, do you have any further questions for me?"

Harvey's chest tightened and his breath caught as his mind caught up with the words he was hearing. He was shaking his head, more in shock at yet another about-turn in events than in answer to the doctor standing before him.

Mike sensed that Harvey was struggling, and he stepped forward. He placed a hand on Harvey's shoulder to help ground him, as he addressed Dr. Wynn.

"How long will it take, before you get the results?" Mike asked.

"It won't take long, probably about an hour. She'll be brought back here, and you can sit with her then if you wish. I take it one of you is her next of kin?" she asked as she looked between the two men.

Mike shook his head but it was Harvey that spoke up, a pained expression across his face. "I was always her emergency contact, but I don't know if that's still the case…" his voice cracked and he took a step back, although it was more like a stumble. He slumped into the seat that was stationed outside Donna's room, his head fell back so that it was resting against the wall.

Mike pursed his lips as he looked back at the Doctor. "Her parents are her next of kin. Her Dad is currently in Hartland hospital, though. I believe her mom lives abroad, but I'll find out and make sure she is contacted."

Dr. Wynn nodded and then with a sympathetic glance at Harvey she took her leave.

Mike sat himself down next to Harvey, who was staring at the ceiling, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Mike didn't say anything for a while, letting Harvey process instead. It seemed as though they were battling against one crisis after another, in a continuous, relentless succession.

"She'll be okay, Harvey. I told you before, she's the strongest person I know. She'll get through this," Mike said finally.

"You don't _know_ that, though, do you?" Harvey mumbled in response. His head dropped forward then so that he was staring straight ahead.

"Maybe not, but I have faith that she will...and you should too."

Harvey gave a light huff and shook his head. "I appreciate the sentiment, Mike, but just… don't."

Mike sighed but he nodded. He knew that even if Donna made a complete and full recovery, Harvey would berate and beat himself up over everything that had happened for some time to come. The man had been almost drowning himself in guilt ever since she'd gone missing. The only reason he'd held it together so far was because he'd been focused on the task of saving her. Now that they were sitting there, helplessly waiting, Mike sensed that if not diverted or kept in check, Harvey would start spiralling again. He decided he needed to change the subject and get Harvey to focus on something else.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Harvey replied with a wry smile.

Mike rolled his eyes. "You really can't turn off the lawyer in you, can you?"

"You walked in to that one. Asking if you can ask a question is such a rookie thing to do. I'm disappointed in you, Mike." Harvey was leaning his head back again and had his eyes closed as he spoke.

"Well, you know how I always aim to disappoint!"

"Just ask your goddamn question," Harvey said with a heavy sigh.

"I was wondering how you knew," Mike said.

"Knew what?"

"Your hunch about Roman?"

Harvey gave a shrug. "Gut instinct. When I met Roman, his whole demeanor screamed 'ambition'. Despite the fact that he answered to his older brother, he talked and acted like he was the big kahuna. He had a chip on his shoulder the size of Wisconsin and an ego twice as big as that! He hated the fact that I guessed he was the younger of the two brothers and therefore not the man in charge. It pissed him off."

Mike looked across to Harvey, eyebrows raised. "That was it? Just his personality?"

Harvey nodded. "Well that, and I just had a feeling he was hiding something. When I was bartering for Jim, I mentioned the FBI and I specifically mentioned removing Jim from the scenario. I think I said that if Jim was no longer involved, it would be one less person that might crack under pressure if they were investigated. It was only fleeting, but he reacted to that, which would have been nothing on its own, but then he covered his reaction up and that told me more. It told me he was hiding something and my words had hit a nerve. I didn't really think much more about it until you revealed the FBI investigation and the previously loyal accountant that had suddenly betrayed them. As soon as it occurred to me that Roman might be planning a coup, the pieces all fell into place."

Mike stared at him open-mouthed. "Jesus, Harvey. I mean, I know you turned out to be right in the end, but that's a bit tenuous. I mean, talk about taking a huge risk on pretty much nothing but an assumption."

"Harvey Specter… pleased to meet you," Harvey said with a smirk. His face then dropped, his frown returning. "I knew it was a risk. Why do you think I was reluctant to go through with it? I mean, it's always the way I've worked, it's how I operate. I trust my instinct, always have, but never had so much been at stake. Donna's life was on the line...it still is…" Harvey faltered then.

"But you were right though," Mike said, eager to get the conversation back on track and away from thoughts of Donna's possible prognosis. "Although, I have to admit, my heart was in my mouth when you suggested I show Maxim the proof that Samantha had sent through. You and I both know that the documentation would've shown Maxim absolutely nothing. The FBI had already told her that neither Maxim nor Roman's name was on any paperwork, that's why they were never arrested in the first place. It was only the accountant's testimony that pointed the finger of blame at Maxim. If he'd taken you up on your offer, he'd have known that we had nothing."

Harvey shrugged again. "Maxim already knew by then that what I was saying was true. He'd read it all over Roman's face. I knew he didn't really need to see that documentation, so that was an easy bluff."

Mike smiled and shook his head in awe at his former mentor. They were quiet then for a few moments, before Mike decided to pluck up the courage and ask the question they had been avoiding since they left the Beaufort club.

"Are we gonna talk about what happened in there?" he asked, finally.

Harvey swallowed, and he tensed his jaw. "Mike…" Harvey said in warning, his body language also shutting Mike down.

"No, Harvey, we can't avoid the elephant in the room for much longer. The police will no doubt be all over that crime scene, as we speak. They have three dead bodies. Roman's at large and our prints will be everywhere. We'll be number one suspects. It won't be long before they track us down here, and we need to agree with what we're going to say to them when they start asking questions."

"We tell them the Goddamn truth. I told you that I had no intention of hiding anything. As far as I'm concerned, we were in an impossible situation and we had no choice. Samuel shot Maxim and his bodyguard, the forensics will back that up."

"... and what about Samuel's dead body?" Mike all but whispered.

Harvey turned to look at Mike then, his gaze steely and determined. "That was self-defense, and you know it!" he snapped, under his breath, conscious that they weren't overheard.

"Of course I do. But you also know it won't be as simple as that. We need to be prepared that this might not be brushed under the carpet that easily." Mike wasn't letting this go. He knew that Harvey was only focused on Donna at the moment, but they couldn't pretend that they weren't facing a shit load of trouble.

"Right now, Mike, all I care about is that Donna is okay. We'll deal with the rest as and when it happens."

Mike opened his mouth to argue but found himself faltering when he spotted Samantha and Paula striding towards them. "Harvey…" he said quickly as he looked pointedly in their direction.

Harvey followed his line of sight and his stomach sank when he saw his girlfriend approaching.

"Paula!" he exclaimed as he stood up to greet her.

"Harvey!" she shouted in relief as she ran the final few steps and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. "You're okay, thank God. I've been so worried."

Samantha scowled and she rolled her eyes as she watched the exchange. She then nodded to Mike and indicated with a gesture of her head that she wanted a private word. Mike was more than happy to step away from the awkwardness of Harvey's forced embrace.

"The police are at The Beaufort club," she whispered. "My colleagues watched them enter the premises about 45 minutes ago. Ten minutes later, the Fed's arrived."

"Shit!" Mike said.

"It was inevitable. Everyone knows that the Karimov's own that club. As soon as it went out on alert that bodies were found, the FBI would have been there faster than hot shit off a shovel. I don't know what went down, Mike, but I'm assuming that you left in a hurry and your DNA is going to be all over that club?" Samantha asked in a hushed tone.

"Roman was still in the building. We had to get out of there, fast."

Samantha nodded. "I have to ask. Did you—"

Mike stopped her with a shake of his head. "Samuel murdered Maxim and his bodyguard. He was then going to shoot Donna… she killed him in self-defense!"

"Fuck!" Samantha said under her breath, her hand shooting up to her forehead. She then recomposed herself back into business mode. "Look, I don't know if Harvey is going to be mad as hell with me or not, but I made a quick judgement call. I told the FBI that you are here." She bit the inside of her cheek as she studied Mike's reaction but she looked resolute in the decision she made.

Mike's eyes widened at her words and he glanced nervously back at Harvey who seemed to be having an intense conversation with Paula. "You're saying they're on their way?"

She nodded. "The FBI already knew about the kidnapping, about the blackmail, everything. So once Paula contacted the police we had to get ahead of the situation. We have to make sure that it _looks_ like you only left the scene of the crime because you had no choice, and that you're happy to cooperate with them and their investigation. Regardless of what actually happened, Mike, if we're going to make sure that Donna comes out of this unscathed, we have to be smart and we have to be seen to be doing everything by the book."

Mike took in a deep breath as he acknowledged the truth of Samantha's words. "Okay… but I can tell you now, he's not going to want to leave here anytime soon. Not until he at least knows that Donna is okay."

"How is she? You said on the phone that she was in shock?"

"We thought that's all it was, but they've taken her for a CT scan. They think she might have a cerebral contusion."

Samantha's face fell and her hand came up to cover her mouth as she shook her head.

"She'd been knocked about quite a bit... more than once," Mike added through gritted teeth.

Samantha's eyes flashed with anger. "Spineless fuckers!" she spat under her breath.

"What's all the whispering?" Harvey's voice interrupted them. They both turned to face him. He was looking less than happy, the atmosphere between him and Paula decidedly tense. She was holding on to his arm though, almost defiantly.

"The FBI are on their way here, Harvey," Mike said tentatively. "We're going to need to talk to them about everything that's happened."

Harvey straightened his back and his eyes narrowed. "They'll have to wait, Mike. I'm not leaving here until I know that Donna is going to be okay."

"Harvey, there are three dead bodies back at that club," Samantha tried to reason. "They know you were there at the scene. They're going to insist on you talk—"

"Are you fucking deaf? I'm NOT leaving here!" he shouted.

Paula cleared her throat, and gently rubbed his arm. "Harvey, we understand how worried you are about Donna. However, she is getting the best care available, and I'm sure Samantha will be happy to stay here with her. You and Mike need to speak to the authorities as soon as possible. The longer you leave it, the higher the chance that you two might fall under suspicion."

Harvey snatched his arm away from Paula's grasp as though he had been burned. She looked shocked by his sudden and obvious withdrawal from her and the hostility that was emanating from him. He opened his mouth to respond when Samantha decided it was best to intervene. She had no love for Paula, but now wasn't the time for a domestic fall out.

"Harvey, I'm going to suggest that you and Mike talk to them here, okay? You _have_ to give a statement at the very least," she said adamantly.

Harvey's shoulders dropped then and he sighed in defeat. He gave Samantha a nod and sat back down outside Donna's room. Paula meanwhile, had flushed a deep shade of red and looked visibly upset.

"If you're staying, Harvey, I think I'll head home. Unless of course, you want me to stay with you. You've been through quite a traumatic exper—"

"Go home, Paula." Harvey said firmly but with less aggression than he'd shown earlier.

She pursed her lips and swallowed. "Okay then." She bent down and kissed him on the cheek, her hand gently squeezing his arm. "Call me in the morning and let me know how Donna is. I hope everything goes okay with the FBI." She waited a beat for a response from him, but he said nothing. He merely gave a slight nod before leaning back, resting his head against the wall once again.

Paula glanced at Mike and Samantha and gave them a faint smile, before turning on her heel and leaving.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, but as if on cue, no sooner had Paula left than the doors to the corridor opened and Donna was being wheeled towards them. As she was taken into her room, Dr. Wynn approached Harvey who stood immediately. His eyes darted between the doctor and Donna as the medical staff began hooking her up to monitors and administering a drip.

"Well? Is she okay?" he asked desperately.

Dr. Wynn gave a small smile and indicated with a wave of her arm that they should take a seat.

"Please tell me she's going to be okay," Harvey repeated.

"Mr. Specter, the CT scan showed that Miss Paulsen does have a cerebral contusion. There is a small bruise of the brain tissue at the back of her skull, most likely caused by a blow to the head."

Harvey's face crumpled in pain and anguish and Dr. Wynn immediately reached out her hand and placed it on his shoulder. "I'm happy to say that it is a mild contusion which she has every chance of making a full recovery from."

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"We'll need to keep her in for a few days. She needs to rest. We'll be giving her some medication and closely monitoring her to check for any increases in intracranial pressure."

"But she's going to be okay?"

"The signs are good. But she's been through quite an ordeal. Not only has she suffered a number of physical injuries, but we also found traces of some quite potent drugs in her system. Like I said, we need to monitor her closely." She gave Harvey a reassuring smile.

"Can we sit with her?"

"Of course. Did you manage to get a hold of her mother by the way?" she asked as she looked at Mike.

"Not yet, but we will," Mike replied.

"Okay... I should also tell you that the FBI are here. I have explained to them that Miss Paulsen is currently sedated and therefore in no fit state to talk to them, but they do wish to speak to you. Shall I send them through?"

Samantha nodded, as Harvey stood up and slowly walked into Donna's room. The nurses and medical staff had finished settling her and they gave him a warm smile as they left the room. Harvey stepped forward to the side of her bed and looked down at her, his heart aching as he observed her overly pale features. She appeared to be just sleeping, almost peaceful and Harvey grimaced at the thought that when she did wake, she would not only have to face the trauma of what had happened but also have to deal with an unpleasant and no doubt harrowing investigation.

Mike was right, Donna was the strongest person they knew, but she'd suffered so much. Too much. She'd endured months of pain inflicted by him, suffered the shock of almost losing her father, then had to deal alone with the threats made by the Karimov's. If that wasn't bad enough, she'd suffered a terrible ordeal at the hands of Samuel and then, what she'd been forced to do to save not only her life, but theirs too, was just horrific. He was an evil bastard that deserved to rot in hell, but to take someone's life, no matter how much they deserved it… well... He didn't know how you dealt with something like that.

He knew the law should be on their side. He knew that they had been in an impossible situation, that Donna had acted out of self-defense, after suffering horrific abuse. But he also knew how cases like this could go badly. Facts could be twisted. Her ordeal could be far from over.

Harvey took her hand in his, and gently rubbed his thumb across her palm. He would do everything he could to protect her. With Mike, Samantha, Rachel, Louis, hell the whole goddamn firm fighting for her, he was almost certain that they'd make sure her actions would be vindicated. Charges would never be brought.

_Almost_ certain.

"Mr. Specter?"

Harvey turned his head to the door to see two agents standing with Mike and Samantha.

"Mr. Specter? I'm Special Agent Gutierrez and this is my partner, Special Agent Wade. I appreciate that this has been a difficult time for you, but we need to ask you a few questions regarding the events that occurred at The Beaufort club earlier today?"

Harvey took a deep breath and nodded. He stepped closer to Donna and squeezed her hand, before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I promised you I would protect you, Donna," he whispered to her. "I promised you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you and once again I've let you down. I'm so sorry."

He kissed her cheek. "Please forgive me."

He let go of her hand then and stepped away from the bed, making his way out of the room.

The agents accompanied him, Mike and Samantha to a small table across from Donna's hospital room. They all sat down as Agent Wade took out a notebook and pen.

"We appreciate this Mr. Specter. We just need you to briefly run through what happened. And as long as you're cooperative, we can take a more detailed statement from you at a later date."

Harvey nodded as he continued to look past them and towards Donna's room. Mike cleared his throat and began to recount what had happened when they had arrived at the club.

Harvey allowed Mike to tell the story, his photographic memory making for a much more accurate recollection of the sorry tale. Not that he'd forgotten any of it, it was burned into his brain.

The agents barely interrupted Mike. They seemed satisfied with what they were hearing. There was the odd question, clarifying something that someone had said, understanding where everyone was in the room at any given time. Harvey gave the odd verbal nod to back up Mike's words, but he mainly remained silent.

"So, Samuel Lang shot the bodyguard just once… to the stomach."

"Yes. I don't know if he died straight away, but he had no pulse when I checked on him later," Mike confirmed.

"And after he shot Maxim Karimov, twice, he then turned the gun on the two of you, yes?"

Mike took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, he was threatening to shoot us, but then he said he wanted to make Harvey suffer, and he was going to do that by killing Donna in front of him," Mike said tentatively, knowing the memory of those moments would be torturing Harvey.

"I see, so what happened then?"

Mike opened his mouth to answer but Harvey chose this moment to speak up.

"Samuel was going to kill Donna...so I picked up Roman's gun from the floor...and I shot him!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, i know Mike can't drive on the show - another little tweak i made to canon! I needed him to drive goddammit! ;-)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I once again have to beg for a huge slab of artistic license with regards to all legal matters and police / FBI procedure. If there's stuff in this chapter that screams "that wouldn't happen" I'm claiming 'writer's prerogative' ;-)
> 
> Thanks and hugs to Blue for reviewing and reassuring… On her birthday too! She is ace!
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Love to all, Jo xx

* * *

It was a bit of a cliche, she knew, waking up to a blur. She'd slowly come around and had become gradually aware of her surroundings, but everything was hazy and vague. Not visually. She could see Mike and Rachel in the room, clear as day, no problems there, whatsoever.

No, it was her memory that was a blur. She was instantly confused. She was struggling to work out why she was lying in what appeared to be a hospital bed, with her two recently married friends by her side. Fragments of moments came to her sporadically and in a jumbled order.

_Trying to free herself from her restraints in her makeshift cell._

_Being told that her father's heart had stopped._

_Samuel leaning over her with a syringe._

_Harvey asking for his key_.

"Donna?" Rachel stood from the chair she'd been resting in at the side of her bed.

Donna stared at Rachel with a confused frown. She studied her friends face as though doing so might order her thoughts, help her recollect. However she was still not able to make sense of why she was there. More images rushed forward.

_Samantha standing with her arms folded in the ladies restroom._

_Harvey taking her hand and leading her towards the dance floor._

_Louis quoting Shakespeare at her in her office._

_Her father in tears._

"Donna?" Rachel repeated. "Hey… it's okay. You're okay, you're safe now. You're in the hospital," she said, as she seemed to pick up on Donna's confusion and bewilderment. Her voice was gentle and soft as she looked to reassure her friend.

Donna squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to focus her thoughts and rationalize where she was, and what had happened to cause her to be there. But try as she might, the images in her head kept jumping in and out of focus.

_Panic, ice-cold veins and a suffocating darkness._

_Harvey holding her face as he kisses her._

_Four 9's and a 4 of clubs._

_Samuel firing a gun._

_Blood._

_Harvey!_

"Rachel?" Donna croaked. "Where is Harvey? Is he okay? Oh my god!"

Mike stepped forward then. "Donna, he's fine," he said with a quick glance to his wife, who bit her lip nervously as they exchanged a knowing look. "Everyone is okay. You're in the hospital because you suffered a few injuries and you needed medical attention, but the doctors tell us that you're going to be fine, and you'll be able to go home in a few days."

He took her hand and gave it a light squeeze as he gave her a reassuring smile. Donna's frown intensified as she looked between them, eyeing them up.

"What are you not telling me?" she asked. She may have been as confused as hell, but she was still able to tell when someone was hiding something from her.

Mike gave a heavy sigh and pulled up a chair so that he was sitting alongside her bed. "What is the last thing you remember, Donna?" he asked carefully.

"I…" Donna hesitated. She really wasn't sure. She knew that her memories were there but they were still scattered in her mind. Broken fragments pushing forward at random. "I don't know, Mike. I'm so confused."

As she stared helplessly at her friends, the door swung open and Dr. Wynn entered. She smiled at Donna. "I hear someone is finally awake," she said as she moved towards the bed with a quick nod to Mike to assure him that he didn't need to move out of the way.

"This won't take long, I just need to do a few checks. How are you feeling, Donna?"

Donna's frown deepened as she eyed the doctor before her. "I…uhm... weird. Like my head is full of cotton wool. What happened? Why am I here?"

Dr. Wynn proceeded to flash a torch in Donna's eyes as she studied her patient. "I'm afraid you were assaulted, Donna. You sustained a head injury that caused some minor bruising to your brain. We have been monitoring you closely, and I'm happy to say that the swelling appears to have reduced and we are optimistic that you should be good to go home in a day or two. We need to keep an eye on you in the meantime, though, and you need plenty of rest."

"I don't remember," she said with a tremble in her voice that indicated how disconcerted she felt.

"That's quite normal with the type of injury you have sustained, and the quantity of drugs that were in your system…"

_Syringe… Samuel …_

Donna began to breathe a little more rapidly as Dr. Wynn's words sparked that particular memory, and the heart monitor she was hooked up to reflected her anxiety.

"Donna, I know this is incredibly confusing for you, and coupled with the ordeal you've suffered, I appreciate that you're probably feeling disorientated and worried. However, please know that you are safe." She checked the monitor and then moved to Donna's chart, quickly checking the information and signing her initials as she looked up and smiled at her patient. "The confusion you are feeling should only be temporary, and all your memories could still return."

" _Could_ return?" Rachel asked with concern.

Dr. Wynn tilted her head slightly and hesitated before answering. "Physically, Donna should make a full recovery. However, suffering a traumatic and stressful event can result in suppressed memories. It's your mind's way of protecting itself in the immediate aftermath. Whether or not you do remember what happened to you, Donna, I would strongly suggest you seek some counselling once you are discharged from hospital," said gently.

Donna nodded slowly, still frowning.

"Are you feeling any pain?" Dr. Wynn asked.

"Not really. My wrists feel a bit sore, and my stomach is a bit queasy," Donna answered.

"Okay, well we do have you on some pain medication at the moment. Let us know if you feel you need more. In the meantime, I think rest is the best thing for you now."

Dr. Wynn gave another reassuring smile before leaving the room.

Rachel sighed. "We can wait outside while you try and get some sleep."

"There is no way in hell I'm resting until you tell me what is going on," Donna demanded.

"Donna, you heard Dr. Wynn. You need to rest—"

"That's just not going to happen, Mike. I'm confused as hell, getting more worried by the minute which is quite frankly, freaking me out. There's no way I could sleep...and don't think for a minute, I didn't see you two exchange a look when Harvey's name was mentioned. You have to tell me what happened. Now!"

Mike took a deep breath. "I need to know the last thing you remember, to know where to begin," he said as he took her hand once again.

Donna blinked several times as she tried to order her thoughts back to the last coherent, solid memory she had. She rapidly recalled the painful last few months. From Harvey's anger, to the wedding, to her father in hospital, to Samuel. The coffee that tasted a little funny. The Karimov's, her wrists being bound. Samuel touching her. It all started to flood back and she gasped slightly as her eyes filled with unwanted tears. The fear she'd felt, more than anything else, was what hit her with full force and she sobbed as she remembered the helplessness and desperation.

She turned her head and stared at Mike as she tried to calm herself. "You came. You and Harvey. You were both there, and … there was a poker game," she said as her eyes scanned his, seeking confirmation.

Mike nodded. "That's right. You were the one who told Maxim that Harvey would play, remember? Harvey won that game, and then he revealed to Maxim that Roman was planning on betraying him."

"Yes… only, Roman himself was being double-crossed. By Forstman." She paused again as things started to get slightly hazy then. "Roman was taken away, and Maxim untied me… I think?" she said as she looked down at her swollen and bruised wrists.

Mike was nodding at her, encouraging her to continue.

"Samuel had a gun," she gasped suddenly, her eyes wide. "He was pointing it at Harvey!" she said with alarm, but then she faltered. It was as though her mind was re-enacting a play on stage, but just before the final scene, the curtain dropped. She shook her head.

"I can't remember what happened then. Please tell me he's okay. Don't lie to me," she pleaded.

"Harvey's okay, Donna, I promise. Samuel is dead… he was shot. He can't hurt you anymore," Mike said firmly.

"How did I end up here?" Donna asked, her eyes darting from his to Rachel's.

"You went into shock, so we brought you here. You had head injuries, they did a CT scan, and they discovered the trauma to the back of your head," Mike answered carefully.

Donna lifted her hand and gingerly felt the back of her head.

_Samuel striking her, her head hitting the wall as she fell back._

"He hit me. I was so angry that my father had almost died at their hands, I shouted at him. He lost his temper and he hit me," she whispered.

Rachel leant forward then and took her other hand. "I'm so sorry, Donna," she said with tears in her eyes.

Donna shook her head then slightly, almost in an attempt to try and clear her thoughts once again. She looked up at Rachel and then back at Mike. "There's still something you are not telling me," she said slowly. "Where's Harvey now?"

Mike swallowed but he held her stare. "He's assisting the FBI with their inquiries," he said. The vagueness in his words and tone was not lost on Donna.

She cocked her head to one side and her eyebrow lifted. "You're not a police spokesman and I'm not a reporter looking for a sound byte. Cut the crap, Mike."

Mike looked away then and back toward his wife. Rachel pursed her lips and gave a tiny shake of her head.

"Rachel!" Donna almost shouted now. "For God's sake, just tell me what the hell is going on. Stop treating me like a chi—" Donna stopped herself mid-sentence. "Wait a minute. You said Samuel was shot. Who shot him?"

She was met with silence and her blood ran cold.

Mike cleared his throat. "Donna. Harvey is being questioned by the FBI at the moment, because he confessed to shooting Samuel… in self-defense."

"What?" she gasped.

Mike took a deep breath before continuing. "Samuel was going to kill all three of us, no question. Harvey had no choice. The FBI are just taking a formal statement from him, Samantha is with him, and they're both confident that no charges will be made. It's just a formality. We don't want you to worry," he said earnestly, but his eyes did a poor job of backing up the confidence in his words.

"Bullshit!" Donna said as she glared back at Mike. "You don't believe that. Which means you're still hiding something. What did he do, Mike?" Donna was breathing rapidly now, her spidey sense telling her that Harvey was in trouble. Deep trouble.

"Donna…"

"It _was_ self-defense wasn't it?" she interrupted suddenly in a panic.

"Yes, of course. I swear Donna. It was definitely self-defense." He was quick to reassure, but as he hesitated once again, another fragmented memory punctured through Donna's mind, as though her brain was endeavouring to fill in the gaps that Mike was deliberately leaving out.

_She sees it lying there, unnoticed, forgotten. They're facing off against each other, Samuel and Maxim, all eyes are on them. No one is looking at her. She slowly lowers her knees and reaches forward and picks it up, it's hard and cold in her hands...but it feels familiar._

Donna's eyes widened as she glanced between Mike and Rachel. Her stomach dropped, she felt her pulse quicken and she let out a sudden cry.

"Oh my God, it wasn't him," she exclaimed and her hand flew up to her mouth in horror. "No, no, no. I had the gun."

_Samuel is smirking at her. He'd turned on his heel and the gun is now pointing at her directly. She sees it in his expression. She knows what's coming, there's no doubt. This is it. There's no more time._

"It was me," she sobbed. The images are vivid now in her mind.

_She sees the slight twitch in his stance and she knows. It's her or him._

_It's Harvey or him._

_She pulls the trigger. The sound is deafening. His expression changes. He looks shocked, confused. He steps towards her, still frowning. She can hear Harvey, he's shouting, crying out. She remembers Samuel threatening her._

_She remembers him threatening Harvey._

_She aims more carefully this time. She has to make sure. She needs to stop him. She fires twice. No hesitation. She sees it then instantly, the shock fading only as the life leaves his eyes. There's nothing there anymore, as he drops his gun and collapses._

"I killed him. I killed Samuel didn't I? Oh my god!" She was trembling uncontrollably. She'd ended someone's life. She felt instantly sick.

"Donna! It was self-defense," Mike said fiercely. "If you hadn't done what you did, he would've killed you, and then he would have killed us. From what Samantha has told us so far, the FBI are not likely to argue with that fact."

"It's true, Donna," Rachel interjected. "I understand that this must be a real shock to you, and it's a horrendous thing for you to go through, but you really were left with no choice. What you did saved your life. Saved their lives." Rachel's voice broke on those words. The realisation that she could have lost Mike, lost all three of them, really hitting home.

Donna was shaking her head, her breathing still rapid. She knew logically that they were right. She remembered now with acute clarity the situation they had found themselves in. She couldn't argue that Samuel wouldn't have killed them if she hadn't pulled the trigger first. That realization did little to comfort her though. For as well as recalling the predicament she'd been in, she also remembered how she had felt. She had run the gamut of emotions. Fear, helplessness, panic...but the predominant feeling, at the precise moment that she had pulled the trigger, had been hate. Hate and anger. Yes, she'd wanted to stop him, but she knew deep down, from the moment he'd threatened Harvey, she'd wanted him dead. That thought now horrified her.

She looked up at her friends, her eyes full to the brim with tears. She simply nodded, not able to articulate her thoughts to them. They would undoubtedly continue to argue with her, to defend and reassure her. They wouldn't see any fault in her motivation, even if she felt differently. Her thoughts switched to Harvey again. Mike's words from earlier reverberated in her head, and she shook her head in utter confusion.

"Why? Why, Mike? Why would he say it was him?" she gasped.

Mike tilted his head as he squeezed Donna's hand. "He's protecting you," he answered with a slight shrug, as though it was the most obvious reason in the world.

Donna squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw. "You just said that the FBI are satisfied that it was self-defense. You said that Samantha is confident that they won't press charges. If that's the case, why lie and say that he did it? It makes no sense. What the hell is he thinking?" she snapped, frustration getting the better of her.

"Donna, Harvey has been racked with guilt from the moment you went missing, and since that moment he has done everything in his power to sort this mess out and keep you safe. If there was even the slightest chance you might be held accountable for what happened, he was going to do everything he could to remove that danger."

"Goddamn it, but now _he's_ the one in danger. I can't let him do this," she cried. "You need to call Samantha. Tell her that I remember what happened and I need to speak to the FBI right now."

"No!" Mike shouted back.

Donna blanched. She stared at Mike in shock. "I'm not going to let him do this, Mike. How can you—"

"You can't, Donna," he said firmly, but less severely. Donna was shaking her head incredulously, about to protest when Rachel interjected.

"Donna, we agree with you that this was not a great move by Harvey. It was really stupid, and believe you me, we're angry with him about it, too!"

Mike let out a sharp huff. "You should've seen Samantha. I thought she was going to throw him through the window when he made that confession."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Mike before she continued. "Despite how we feel, you can't tell them what really happened, Donna. The damage is done now, and by all accounts, the FBI are still satisfied that it was self-defense and therefore, there is every chance that they won't press any charges against Harvey. However, if you tell the FBI that it was you that fired the gun, they'll then know one of you is lying. That will immediately cast doubt over the claim that it was self-defense. Suddenly it's not an open and shut case anymore. You'll be putting both of you at risk," she said.

Mike was nodding. "I hate it too, Donna. I could have killed him. As far as I was concerned there was no need for him to do that. But it's done, and now we have no choice but to go along with his version of events and back him up 100%."

Donna's tears were flowing now. She was angry. Livid. The worst of it was, she wasn't surprised. She knew that the guilt would have been eating Harvey up. Her father had been attacked, she'd been kidnapped, everything that had happened to them had occurred because Forstman wanted revenge on Harvey. That reality would have hit Harvey hard, and it would have festered. He would have been desperately trying to find a way to rectify the situation, and a grand gesture, even as stupid as this one, was totally Harvey's style. He may be the best closer in NYC, an outstanding strategist and high stakes risk-taker with an impressive winning record, but when emotions get in the way, guilt in particular, Harvey could be reckless and impulsive.

"What if it's not okay, Mike? What if charges are brought against him? I will not stand by and let him take the blame for something I did," Donna said.

"Well, we'll worry about that, if and when that happens...but not before," Rachel replied as she stood and began readjusting Donna's pillow in a bid to make her more comfortable. "Right now though, you need to take Dr. Wynn's advice and get some rest."

Donna gave a humourless chuckle. "As if I could sleep now," she said through gritted teeth.

Mike stood also, and he placed his hand on Donna's shoulder as he looked at her with a sombre expression.

"We understand that, Donna. However, the last thing Harvey needs is the worry of you not making a full recovery. He was beside himself when we brought you here. I've never seen him look so frightened. I think the only thing he regretted about his confession was that it meant he was taken away for questioning. He hated that he couldn't stay here and see that you were going to be okay...so please, try and get some rest."

Donna exhaled a heavy sigh, but she knew it was pointless to argue anymore. "As soon as I hear that he's going to be okay, and that this whole saga is finally over, I am so gonna kick his ass," she said with a scowl.

At any other time in the history of Donna's and Harvey's relationship, Mike and Rachel might have found her threat amusing. However, with everything that had happened, the horror's they'd suffered, not to mention the dire state their friendship had been in, in recent months, they found there was little humour to be had.

"We love you," Rachel whispered, as she leant forward and kissed her friend gently on her bruised cheek.

"We won't be far away, and I promise we'll let you know as soon as there is any news from Samantha," Mike added with one final squeeze of her hand.

They left her then, with a hope rather than a belief that she might actually get some much-needed rest. Despite feeling relief that her memories seemed to have returned and she seemed coherent and definitely in possession of all her 'Donna' skills, they were under no illusion that she was perfectly fine. As well as the obvious physical scars that she had, there had also been a shadow behind her eyes that betrayed the mental trauma she had suffered. Not only that, but Mike and Rachel were well aware that it wasn't just the Karimov situation that was haunting Donna. They'd seen the flicker of pain across her expression every time Harvey's name was mentioned. She was still suffering the effects of a broken heart, still hurting from months of a fractured friendship that there were still no guarantees they could come back from, even after everything that had happened. This is what frustrated them both the most, for they were in no doubt that Harvey was every bit in love with Donna, as she was with him. If only he would realise that himself.

"I'm worried about her, Mike," Rachel whispered once they stepped into the corridor and were safely out of earshot.

"I know," Mike replied as he pulled his wife into his arms and placed a soft kiss to her temple.

"She might seem like she's holding it together, but—"

"I wasn't fooled, Rachel," Mike said with a shake of his head. "That's why I'm so mad at Harvey. We both know the real reason he did it, even if he doesn't see it himself. But now she's fretting over him as well as trying to cope with everything else that's happened," Mike said bitterly. "It's like they're both playing a game of 'guilt top trumps'."

"I don't think it's guilt that's driving their decision making, " Rachel added sadly.

Mike nodded and then leant down to kiss his wife tenderly, before resting his forehead against hers. "I love you, Rachel Ross."

"I love you too," she whispered back.

Mike's phone then began to ring. He quickly grabbed it from his back pocket to see who was calling.

"It's Samantha," he said with a deep breath.

* * *

Harvey had been sat drumming his fingers on the table for at least ten minutes now. He was tired. Both mentally and physically.

They were back in New York, the FBI having brought them to a precinct in Manhattan. He'd gone through his statement several times by now, recalling the details of everything that had happened at the Beaufort club with as much as detail as he could remember. With one obvious amendment, of course. He'd also spent a large chunk of time reiterating the facts that had led up to the meeting at the club, corroborating everything that Samantha had already disclosed to the FBI the previous day.

The FBI seemed to be happy with everything they'd been told, but it was never easy to tell for sure. The agents were skilled at keeping their cards close to their chest. Harvey didn't exactly feel on top of his game either, and as a consequence, he was struggling to read them. As well as being exhausted, he was also still worried sick about Donna. Despite what the doctor had said about her head injury and the optimism with which she'd conveyed the news of her prognosis, he felt anxious and racked with guilt. She'd suffered immeasurably, and as far as he was concerned, it was his fault.

If that wasn't enough to make him feel on edge, he was also well aware that the woman next to him was seething. Since the agents had left the room, she'd hardly said a word to him. Sitting rigid in her chair, her arms folded across her chest, she was staring at the door in silence.

Harvey stopped drumming his fingers, and leant back in his chair with a sigh.

"If you have something to say, Samantha. Just come out and say it," he said wearily.

"Not here!" she spat, as she quickly glanced around the room.

Harvey sighed again. "Okay," he said quietly. He looked at his watch. They'd been here nearly three hours now. "Well they need to charge me or let me go," he said under his breath.

At that, the door opened and Agent Gutierrez and Agent Wade re-entered the room. They gave a nod to the two lawyers before sitting down at the table.

"Do you need anything more from Mr Specter tonight?" Samantha asked with authority.

Agent Gutierrez lifted a hand and gave a small smile. "We do have just a few more questions," he said calmly.

Samantha shook her head. "He has cooperated with you, fully. You have his formal statement. If you have any further questions, can it not wait until tomorrow? My client is exhausted."

Agent Wade leant forward on the table and nodded at Samantha's words as he looked at Harvey. "We appreciate that this has been a harrowing experience for you, Mr. Specter. We don't wish to detain you for much longer but there are just a few details we wish to clarify with you, before you go home."

Harvey bit the inside of his cheek. He'd come here voluntarily. Well officially anyway. Everyone currently sitting in this room knew that with his confession, if he'd refused to do so, he would have been arrested on the spot. He'd answered every question, stuck to his story and he knew that Mike would do the same when it came time for his interview. However, although he was confident that the two men sat opposite were in no hurry to make life difficult for him, he sensed that they wanted something from him.

Samantha opened her mouth to protest further, but Harvey cut in before she had a chance.

"What do you want to know?" he asked as he locked eyes with Agent Wade.

Wade smiled and after a quick glance to his partner he leant back in his chair, tapping his pen on the desk.

"Is there anything you wish to change in your statement?" he asked.

"No."

Gutierrez nodded slowly at Harvey's response. "As a lawyer, Mr. Specter, I'm sure we don't need to tell you the consequences of giving a false statement to the FBI," he said. His eyes closely studied Harvey as he spoke.

Harvey didn't flinch but he didn't respond either, he returned their gaze with equal intensity.

Samantha on the other hand, did respond. "What are you inferring?" she asked sharply, her hackles raised.

Wade frowned and began shaking his head. "We're not inferring anything, Miss Wheeler. Everything that Mr. Specter has told us seems to correlate with what we found at the crime scene. Initially, anyway. We have no reason to doubt his version of events… except…" He paused and his eyes flicked back to Harvey.

"Except?" Harvey repeated, his tone devoid of any emotion.

"Well you see, both Agent Gutierrez and I can't seem to forget the moment you first confessed to shooting Samuel Lang. You seemed very confident, for sure, however Mr. Ross and Miss Wheeler here… well, let's just say their reaction to your words told a very different story. It seemed very much like this was brand new information to them."

"Shocked and confused was how you phrased it to me, Agent Wade," Gutierrez said with a wry smile.

"That's ridiculous," Samantha quickly interjected.

"No...it isn't," Wade replied, his head cocked to the side. "You see, my partner and I have a theory. We think that most of what you told us is true, except the part about you shooting Samuel Lang. We don't think you did."

Both Samantha and Harvey sat in silence then. Realising it was better to let the agents talk than to try and say anything in Harvey's defense.

"And the only reason that we think you would confess to something you didn't do, would be if you were trying to protect someone. It could be Mike Ross, but my money is on Miss Paulsen," Gutierrez said slowly.

Harvey slowly blinked and he shook his head. Samantha leant forward then, and eyeballed both agents.

"Well, that's a nice story. Do you have any proof to back it up? Because if you don't, my client is leaving right now."

Wade smiled and he placed his pen down on the desk, and crossed his hands in front of him. "Look… Harvey, is it okay if I call you Harvey?" he asked lightly.

Harvey just stared back at him, his heart beating rapidly, but he didn't panic. He was now more sure than ever that the agents wanted something from him.

"Harvey… We've been trying to nail the Karimov's for some time now. The slippery fuckers, always managed to avoid prosecution, we could never find anything concrete on them. Obviously we would've liked to have brought Maxim to justice, and with what we know about Forstman and his brother, Samuel Lang too, but we can't. We still believe that Samuel was killed in self-defense, and you're right, Miss Wheeler, without any evidence it would be difficult to disprove Harvey's statement. However, while we have no desire to prosecute Miss Paulsen, we do need to be seen to be upholding the law—"

"What do you want?" Harvey asked, interrupting Wade, eager to find out what deal they were about to offer.

"Roman Karimov is still at large," Wade answered. "It's only a matter of time, however, before he surfaces and when he does, we want to make sure he doesn't escape justice again. In order to do that, we need you to agree to testify against him."

"That sets him up as a target," Samantha said with a shake of head.

"We need his testimony. If you agree to it, Harvey, then we agree to accept your statement on the understanding that we have no other witnesses that would dispute your version of events and therefore no requirement to forensically search for contradictory evidence."

"As far as we would be concerned. Once Roman is prosecuted and behind bars, the matter is closed," Gutierrez clarified.

Harvey looked across at Samantha and nodded to her, before looking back at the agents in front of him.

"Deal," he said without any further hesitation.

Samantha didn't bother to argue with Harvey. Setting himself up as the prosecution's main witness was not ideal. Roman was now the head of a formidable organised crime gang, and Harvey would undoubtedly be a target, but she knew that if it meant that Donna was no longer in danger of being prosecuted, Harvey would take the deal without question. Besides, at least this way, Harvey would play a part in exacting some revenge on Roman Karimov.

After agreeing to the deal, Samantha insisted that the interview was now over and that Harvey would be going home to finally get some rest. The two agents seemed happy with what had been agreed and confirmed that they would be in touch the next day.

As Samantha and Harvey exited the building, they both paused for a second as they stood on the sidewalk.

"I'm going back to the hospital," Harvey said as he took out his car keys from his pocket.

"No… You're going back home to get some sleep," Samantha snapped.

"I need to see Donna," Harvey said as he went to move away.

"She's sleeping. You need to do the same! There's no way you are driving all the way back to Bridgeport now, Harvey. You haven't slept properly in two days," she snapped, losing her patience with him.

Harvey sighed heavily. He knew she was right. He also knew that Donna was resting and wasn't likely to wake until the morning what with the medication she was on. Mike and Rachel had stayed with her, so he knew she wasn't alone, he just wanted to see her with his own eyes. He needed the visual reassurance that she was okay.

However there was no doubt, he was dead on his feet. His bones ached, his head felt heavy and he knew that he was in no fit state to drive the two-hour journey back to Connecticut. He needed rest.

"Okay," he mumbled.

Samantha pursed her lips and nodded. "I'm going to head home too. My bathtub is most definitely calling to me. Don't worry about Mike, I'll call him and let him know what happened," she said with a small smile.

"Thank you, Samantha… for everything. For all your help," Harvey said sincerely.

"You won't be thanking me tomorrow when I kick your ass for blindsiding me and Mike like that. I'd beat the shit out of you right now, but I'm too tired," she said with a grimace.

Harvey quirked his eyebrow and gave her a smirk, but he didn't apologise. They both knew he didn't regret the choice he made and would do it again if he had to.

"Good night, Samantha," he said instead.

"Good night, Harvey," she reciprocated, before she turned and walked away.

Harvey decided that as tired as he was, he would walk home. It was easy enough to let the car club collect his car from the precinct in the morning. Besides, his condo was only a few blocks away and he could do with the fresh air.

As he walked, he finally allowed his mind to revisit everything that had happened that day. He felt numb to it, though. So much danger, such high stakes, such horror. He found it hard to comprehend. The worst was over for sure, but there was still so much to process. He still felt a deep sense of unease.

As he entered his building he nodded to the concierge and wearily made his way into the elevator. The silence of the metal box as it climbed the many floors to the penthouse, felt disconcerting. He needed a drink.

He unlocked his front door and rounded the corner into his living room with the intention of making a beeline for his drinks cabinet. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, when he spotted Paula sat on his couch.

"Paula!" he said in shock. It was now about two in the morning, and while he may have temporarily forgotten that she lived with him, it was the fact that she wasn't in bed that puzzled him.

She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Harvey!" she said almost nervously. "We have a visitor."

Harvey frowned. Then he turned pale when he heard the doors to his balcony slide open and Roman stepped into the living room.

He grinned as he lifted a tumbler full of single malt to his lips and took a large gulp. "Fucking great views you've got here, Harvey!"


	17. Chapter 17

* * *

Mere seconds passed while Harvey stood rooted to the spot. His heart pounded so hard he could feel it in his eardrums and the blood rushing through his veins became so cool he struggled to focus. Shock, fear, panic, nerves, anger, and confusion hit him. Weariness settled in the end. Was he ever going to catch a break?

He glanced across the room to his girlfriend, who was sitting rigidly on the couch. Her expression appeared frozen. Her wide eyes though, gave an indication of how anxious she obviously felt.

Harvey ignored Roman for a second and stepped towards Paula. "You okay?" he asked quickly, his eyes running over her form in a bid to check that she hadn't been harmed in any way. She gave a quick nod in response as Roman's voice bellowed across the room.

"She's fine, Harvey. I told her to fix herself a drink while we waited for you, but she didn't seem too keen. Is she always this uptight?" he said with a chuckle as he took another sip of his drink.

Harvey scowled as he turned his head back to Roman. "What the fuck do you want?" he snapped. He certainly wasn't in the mood for playing games.

"Easy, Harvey. What's with all the aggression? I'm just making friendly conversation," he said with amusement.

"Well, we're not friends and I'm not interested in making conversation. What do you want?"

Roman shook his head and smirked to himself as he casually sauntered over towards the other couch and flopped down onto it, winking at Paula in the process. "I just wanna have a little chat, Harvey, that's all. Why don't you pour yourself a drink and sit yourself down." He looked Harvey up and down. "I reckon you could use a drink, you look like shit!" He grinned before studying the tumbler of whiskey in his hand. "You know, I have to say this Macallan 18 is a lot smoother than the 36."

Harvey swallowed and took a steadying breath. He really had no clue what Roman's intentions were, but he was pretty sure they weren't going to be good. He was inwardly cursing himself that he hadn't anticipated that Roman would make an appearance. They knew he was at large, and he also suspected that after everything that had happened, he was unlikely to just let things lie. In addition to that, Roman could also be unpredictable, a fact that didn't help the deep sense of unease that Harvey felt.

With his heavily fatigued brain desperately working twice as hard to take stock of this new situation as well as formulate a plan to deal with whatever Roman was about to throw his way, he slowly walked over to his drinks cabinet and retrieved a glass. As he poured himself a generous measure of whiskey, he willed himself to keep calm and unruffled.

"Paula, why don't you go and stay at your apartment tonight. It's late and Roman and I clearly have some business to discuss. We wouldn't want to keep you awake," he said almost nonchalantly, as though none of this was a big deal.

Paula glanced nervously at Harvey, and she opened her mouth to respond when Roman beat her to it.

"This won't take long, Harvey. I wouldn't want to kick your girlfriend out of her home, especially at this time of night. I mean who knows how many undesirables are out there stalking the streets of Manhattan right now. No, no, she should stay. Why don't you fix her a drink too. Gin and tonic isn't it? I think that's what Samuel said she drank," he said with a wry smile. His gaze locked with Harvey's then, the mention of Samuel's name communicating more than just the words spoken.

"I'd prefer it if Paula wasn't here for this. I can have Ray collect her," Harvey said in a desperate bid to remove her from the scene.

"She stays, Harvey," Roman all but demanded, making it clear the matter wasn't up for discussion.

Harvey gritted his teeth but he knew there was no point arguing any further. He took a few steadying breaths as he placed the bottles of spirits back in the cabinet. He sat himself down next to Paula, handing her a gin and tonic. He gave her an apologetic look, and she responded with a swift nod.

"You know, you're taking one hell of a risk coming here, Roman. The FBI are looking for you," Harvey said as he crossed his legs and rested his arm on the side of the couch.

Roman shrugged. "They're not here now, are they?" he said with a smirk.

Paula cleared her throat. "If you're planning on harming us in any way, you'll—"

"I'll what?" Roman interrupted, his eyes flashing dangerously. His eyebrows lifted as he looked at Paula.

She clamped her mouth shut, instantly picking up on the aggression in Roman's tone. Roman then chuckled to himself as he placed his glass on the arm of the couch and began twisting it around with his fingers. He looked between them as he gave them a wide smile.

"Relax. I'm not armed and I come in peace," he said casually with a wave of his hand.

"I highly doubt that," Harvey scoffed.

Roman shook his head and chuckled again before taking another sip of his drink.

Harvey eyed Karimov more closely, trying to gauge what his intentions were. The last time he had seen Roman, the man had been screaming threats and profanities at him while being dragged away. After all, Harvey had ousted him to his brother and it was sheer luck that Maxim hadn't retaliated there and then. Roman had clearly felt at the time that his plan going to shit had all been Harvey's fault. It wasn't likely that he'd had a change of heart on that matter. It also occurred to Harvey that despite Roman's betrayal, Maxim had still been his brother and he was now dead. Harvey had no clue how Roman felt about that situation.

"So, what did you want to _chat_ about?" Harvey asked, his tone clipped.

Roman threw his arms out in an open gesture. "Well, first off, I came here to offer my thanks, Harvey," he said with a slight grin.

Harvey quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"There was me thinking that I'd lost everything, that my life was literally over, and now I suddenly find myself in charge of my brother's business empire. All thanks to you." He pointed his glass in Harvey's direction and gave a little nod.

Harvey swallowed his whiskey down with a gulp but still chose not to respond.

"Not only that, but you also revealed how Forstman and Samuel were planning on double crossing me. Honestly, Harvey. I'm indebted to you!" he said with a shake of his head, his other hand placed over his heart.

"You didn't seem to feel that way last time I saw you, Roman. I think your exact words were 'I'll fucking kill you'."

Harvey heard a slight gasp from Paula, but he kept his gaze trained on Roman.

Roman shrugged. "Yeah, well, circumstances have changed haven't they? You could say I'm looking at the situation in a new light."

Harvey tilted his head to the side and gave a little huff. "Really! How enlightened of you."

Roman grinned and he drained his glass. "I really do need to get myself a bottle of this stuff. I've always been a vodka man, but I could make an exception for this."

"Roman, I'm really tired. It's been quite a trying few days. If you've just come here to show your gratitude, you can consider me thanked, and you can see yourself out," Harvey said wearily, knowing full well that it wasn't the only reason Roman was there.

"I'm not going anywhere just yet, Harvey. I'll cut to the chase shall I?" Roman said, all humour gone from his voice. "You've been talking to the FBI."

Harvey caught the penetrating stare that Roman had thrown his way, and he swallowed before answering. "Of course I have," he responded. "I could hardly refuse to speak to them," he added with a shrug.

"Hmm, maybe. What did you tell them?" Roman's stare didn't waver, as both men tried to read each other intently.

"The truth of course," Harvey said without blinking.

"Really!"

"Yes...really," Harvey said confidently.

"And what truth would that be?"

Harvey grimaced slightly, and he narrowed his eyes at Roman. "If you're asking me to clarify what happened to your brother—"

"Samuel killed him. I worked that out for myself," Roman interrupted, his face impassive.

Harvey nodded. "Well, after that, Samuel was shot in self-defense. It was him or us and that's exactly what I told the FBI."

Roman leaned forward. "Who pulled the trigger, Harvey?" he asked softly, his eyes flickering momentarily to Paula.

Harvey looked down then as he picked a piece of lint from his knee. "Does it matter?"

"I wouldn't have asked, if it didn't."

Harvey sighed and looked back up, his eyes locking with Roman's. "I did!"

Paula gasped then. "Harvey! You said—"

"Paula! Stay out of this," Harvey warned. "I didn't want you to worry okay? It was self defense and the FBI are satisfied with that."

"Yes, but Harvey—"

"They've already confirmed that they're not looking to press charges," Harvey interrupted again in an attempt to placate her.

She was frowning at him, her breathing rapid, and her lips pursed. She looked decidedly pissed, but she didn't say anymore. She just shook her head slightly.

Roman leaned back into the couch again and raised his eyebrows as he observed the exchange between the couple. He smiled to himself. "Well that's very fortunate for you, isn't it, Harvey?" he said.

Harvey slammed his drink down onto the coffee table at Roman's words and he stood, rage flooding his veins. "Fortunate? Are you fucking kidding me? There's nothing fortunate about any of this. This whole mess has been a fucking nightmare, and you instigated it. Three people are dead, including your brother. Donna is in hospital with a fucking head injury and god only knows what kind of trauma she suffered at your hands, you piece of shit!"

"Harvey, if you know what's good for you and your girlfriend, you'll sit the fuck down." Roman's voice was calm but his eyes flashed with anger.

Harvey clenched his fists at his side as he glared at Karimov. He wanted to rip his head off. The stress and worry of the last couple of days had taken their toll and he was standing there staring into the face of one of the men who had brought this misery to his door. He then felt a hand on his back as Paula reached out to him. She'd no doubt sensed his anger and was attempting to remind him that he needed to stay calm. He turned to look at her. She wore a frightened expression as she shook her head slightly, pleading with him to not retaliate any further.

Harvey clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, but he sat back down on the couch. He scowled at Roman.

"What do you want, Roman?" Harvey asked through gritted teeth.

"I need some assurances from you, Harvey."

"What type of assurances?" Harvey asked carefully.

"Well, I have no intentions of hiding away for the rest of my life. I want to build the Karimov Empire back to full strength. I can't do that with The FBI breathing down my neck. I need them off my back."

Harvey huffed and he shook his head, a look of incredulous disbelief all over his face. "Well if you think I'm helping you in any way, Roman, you can think again. I hope the Feds come after you with everything they've got. With any luck, they'll lock you away in some shit hole in the back of beyond and throw away the key."

"Charming!" Roman said with a smirk, seemingly unruffled by Harvey's words. "That's not going to happen though, Harvey."

"Oh really, and why is that?" Harvey asked nonchalantly, but the deep sense of unease he'd been feeling, intensified.

"It won't happen, because when they come for me...and I'm under no illusion that they won't, you, as my lawyer, are going to tell them that I am innocent of all charges. You are going to provide evidence to show them that it was Maxim that was responsible for all the criminal elements of the Karimov business. I mean, after all, he was the man in charge. I tried to steer him away towards more legitimate enterprises but I was coerced and threatened to do his bidding. You will also get that sidekick of yours to testify that Maxim was going to have me killed yesterday when he discovered that I was going to usurp him as head of the empire in an attempt to clean up the business."

Harvey started to laugh, although his smile did not reach his eyes. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. Not gonna happen, Roman. Sorry."

"Yes… it is," Roman responded calmly.

"I don't think you understand, Roman. While Mike and I were at the Beaufort club yesterday, my colleagues were already briefing the FBI on everything that we had discovered about you. It confirmed all that they already suspected. I've also already given them a statement which basically says the exact opposite of what you've just asked me to do. So it's useless...and you can threaten all you want, Roman, but it's too late. You made your bed, and I'm gonna enjoy watching you sleep in it."

Roman raised his eyebrows and chuckled lightly. "There's the cocky risk taker I've heard so much about," he said with a grin. "But, incidentally, I don't need to threaten you, Harvey. Although I do find it interesting that you would be so flippant about that when your girlfriend is sat right next to you. It would seem that your desire to protect those that you love doesn't extend to your girlfriend."

Harvey glared at Roman, but he didn't bite. He noticed from the corner of his eye that Paula took a sip of her drink, and she fidgeted slightly in her seat.

Roman leant forward again. "I don't need to threaten you because I know for a fact that you fed the FBI a load of bullshit. They might not be charging you now, but that would soon change if they know what I know, " he said slyly.

Harvey attempted to look bored by Roman's words and he rolled his eyes and scoffed. Inside though, his heart was pounding.

Roman saw straight through his bravado. "You didn't shoot Samuel. Donna did," he said with a smirk.

"What?" Paula snapped. She looked from Roman to Harvey with shock. "Is that true, Harvey?"

"If that's your ace card, Roman. I'm afraid it will get you nothing," he said with a shrug, ignoring Paula's question and her incredulous stare. "The FBI suspect that it was Donna and not me that killed Samuel, but they don't really care because they know it was self-defense," he added.

Roman shook his head and laughed. "I'm not stupid, Harvey. I know how this works. They have a duty to uphold the law, and the only reason they would let it slide would be if they can't prove it otherwise. Not without further investigation anyway, which takes time, money and a lot of effort. No-one is gonna be questioning your statement, I'm sure they're quite happy for the whole case to be closed. But…"

"But what?" Paula asked.

"But... if they were confronted with evidence that indisputably contradicted your statement… well they would have no choice but to act. That would land you in a whole shit load of trouble, Harvey. Not to mention that the fact that you lied would cast doubt over the whole self-defense claim, it could also lead to Donna being charged. Voluntary manslaughter… Jesus, Harvey, she could even go down for second degree murder, no?" he said as he scratched his head.

Harvey held his breath, his heart was now hammering in his chest. "It was self-defense," he stuttered.

"Was it? That's what you say, Harvey. However, the video footage that I have could be interpreted differently," he said with an over dramatic sigh.

Harvey's shoulders sank and he closed his eyes.

"You see, it wasn't just the cellar that had cameras, Harvey. I have the whole thing recorded. There's no sound unfortunately, so while there's no doubt that Donna was the one who pulled the trigger, the reason why, is not so cut and dry."

"You complete bastard. She's been through enough!" Harvey bellowed.

"She certainly has Harvey, which is why you should reconsider your position regarding my request," Roman said smugly.

Harvey glared at Roman, fury once again fuelling his desire to reach over and beat the shit out of him. Instead he gripped his glass so tightly he felt it might shatter, and he slowly shook his head in response to Roman's words.

"Let me be perfectly clear, Harvey," Roman said as he leant forward, crossing his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. "If you don't do what I ask, I'll not only send a copy of that video to the FBI, I'll release it out into the world. The Press, social media… hell, I might even pay to have it play in the commercial break during the super bowl. Quite simply, everyone will know what she did, and not only that, I'll make sure that it's spun in such a way that her claim that she shot Samuel in self-defense will be seriously doubted and questioned. Her freedom will be in jeopardy, she could be charged, prosecuted, even face jail time, and even if you manage to avoid that, I'd say it's pretty much guaranteed that her life as she knows it, will be over."

Silence fell in the room as both men stared at each other. Harvey was raging inside. His jaw was clenched, he balled his fist and the need to punch something, preferably Roman, was overwhelming. He was so done with this bullshit.

Roman seemed to pick up on the animosity that was emanating off Harvey. He placed his empty glass on the coffee table, and stood up, buttoning up the jacket of his shiny armani suit. He smiled at Harvey and once again glanced between him and Paula.

"I think I'll leave you to mull over what I've said, Harvey. It's late and we wouldn't want you to miss out on your beauty sleep," he chuckled. He placed his hands into his pockets and started to walk away when he hesitated, his eyebrows lifted as though a thought had suddenly occurred to him.

"You know, I really am very grateful to you for everything that you did yesterday, Harvey. I'm not at all sorry that Samuel is a problem I don't need to take care of anymore. I'd hate to end this little get together on a sour note. So how about I do you a favour and leave you a little parting gift?"

Harvey's eyes flashed up to Roman and he cocked his head to the side and scowled. "No thanks, whatever it is, I can guarantee that I'm not interested."

"Hmm, maybe. However, I think that you need a bit of time and space to consider how you are going to do what I've asked. You certainly don't need Mary Poppins over there getting in the way, nagging and whining all the time," he said with a nod to Paula and a comical roll of the eyes.

Harvey and Paula both frowned in confusion and Roman shook his head, throwing his arms out in mock exasperation.

"It's time she went, Harvey!... I think everyone in the room knows it's not her you think of when you're boxing the one eyed champ in the shower."

"Wh..What?" Paula stuttered.

"You know, choking the chicken, making the bald man cry, spanking the—"

"I know what you're referring to, thank you very much. How dare you make assumptions about Harvey's feelings and our relationship. Of course he cares very deeply for Donna, but they're just friends, they have been close for many years—"

"You knew who I was referring to though didn't you, Dr. Agard," Roman said with a smirk. "You know I'd say that for a psychiatrist you really are clueless, but I don't actually think that you are. I think deep down you know exactly how your boyfriend feels about Donna. You just don't want to admit it to yourself," he added.

"Get out!" Harvey shouted, standing up.

"Oh, I'm going, don't worry, Harvey. But just before I do, let me say this to your girlfriend before I go. If you really believe I'm wrong and that Harvey, here, is totally committed to you, why don't you ask him about the kiss he and Donna shared...and I'm not talking about the one he gave her a couple of days ago. I'm talking about the one Samuel told me all about. A few months back wasn't it, Harvey?"

Harvey froze, open mouthed. The colour drained from his face. But, before he had a chance to form a coherent thought or response, Roman simply chuckled to himself, turned on his heel and made his exit.

"You're welcome!" His final words echoed through the condo, before the front door clicked shut.

Silence followed. A deafening, heavy and almost suffocating silence. Harvey knew he needed to turn and face the music, but he just didn't have the energy.

"Harvey?" Paula's voice finally rang out. Trepidation evident in her tone.

Harvey's shoulders slumped, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Was he lying? Was he just trying to goad you?"

Harvey turned slowly and looked at Paula with an expression that communicated both regret and complete enervation.

"Paula…" he said wearily.

"Oh my God. It's true isn't it?" Paula's hand flew up to her mouth and her eyes instantly filled with tears.

"It's not what you think, Paula. You have to understand—"

Paula lifted her hand to halt him. He paused and they both looked at each other, sorrow and pain in both of their eyes. Paula also seemed to notice that Harvey was slightly swaying on the spot. The events of the last few days, and the trauma he had endured finally taking its toll.

"I'm going to go back to my apartment, Harvey. We don't have to do this now. You need to rest, and I need some space to think too. Call me when you are ready to talk," she said, her tone clipped but failing to hide the emotion she was feeling.

"Paula, I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's fine, Harvey. Get some rest, do whatever you have to do, then come and see me."

She stepped into the bedroom and collected a few of her things and a few minutes later she had her coat on and a carry bag in her hand. She made her way to the front door, and without a further word or even a look back, she left the apartment.

Harvey remained in the same spot where she left him. He was numb. He didn't know what to feel anymore. The only sensation that he could identify was exhaustion.

He slowly made his way to his bedroom, discarding most of his clothes and not even bothering to hang them up. He collapsed on to the bed, rolling over onto his back and staring at the ceiling. In a way he was thankful that his mind had almost shut down on him, as he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise. Sure enough, within mere seconds, his eyes drifted closed and he finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

"I don't give a shit, Rachel. I'm discharging myself," Donna snapped. She didn't mean to be so aggressive, and she certainly didn't want to take her frustrations out on her friend.

However, she'd had enough of being in a hospital and Rachel had been arguing with her for the last half hour about the fact that she wasn't well enough to go home yet.

She was still sore in many places, and she still felt incredibly tired. Dr. Wynn had assured her that the fatigue was normal, the after-effects of not only her head injury but also the drugs that Samuel had continually administered to her.

"Donna, please listen to what the doctors are telling you. You need to rest," Rachel pleaded.

"And I stand a much better chance of resting at home, than I do here. Honestly Rachel, I lie here and everything flashes through my head, worry, fear, anger. It's driving me crazy. I want to go and see my Dad, I need to see how he is and I need to let him know I'm okay. Then I need to talk to Harvey—"

"You see, that's what I'm talking about, Donna. How is any of that resting?"

"Enough," Donna said, exasperated. "I know you are only looking out for me, but trust me when I say, I will feel a whole lot better once I'm out of this damn hospital bed. I promise you I will be careful and I won't overdo it, but I need to go and see my Dad and I need to go today," Donna said a little less aggressively.

"What about your mom? Mike finally managed to track her down in Florence this morning. She's making plans to fly back tomorrow. She won't be happy about you leaving hospital this soon." Rachel had changed tack, hoping the threat of Clara Paulsen's disapproval might make Donna reconsider. She knew it was a longshot though.

Donna rolled her eyes. "Mom will be fine. She'll understand," Donna said more in hope than belief. "Where _is_ Mike by the way? I haven't seen him this morning."

Rachel paused before answering, her countenance suddenly exuding apprehension.

"Mike's gone to see Harvey," she said with a small smile that did a poor job of disguising the fact that there was obviously more to Mike's visit than a simple friendly check in.

"Why?" Donna asked, her eyes narrowed.

Rachel gave a small shrug. "Harvey called and asked to see him." Rachel looked away then.

"You told me earlier that Harvey was coming here. What's changed?" Donna asked with suspicion.

Rachel gave a sigh. "Harvey called Mike and told him he needed to see him. That's all I know, Donna."

"Why, though? I thought that Samantha said the FBI had confirmed they wouldn't be pressing charges. Was that not the truth?" Donna's eyes widened with alarm. Her spidey sense once again firing warning shots across her brain.

"Of course it was the truth, Donna. We wouldn't lie to you about that. I'm sure that Harvey just wants to update Mike in private about what was said with the FBI. Please don't worry," Rachel implored.

Donna let out an irritated sigh. She was certain that there was more to Harvey's request than a simple update. She knew she wouldn't get any further information out of Rachel though, and decided there and then that she would focus her efforts on getting herself discharged.

"Fine! But I'm leaving this hospital...today! So go speak to whoever you need to talk to and tell them that I want to leave. I'll sign whatever waiver they want me to. Just get me out of here, Rach, please."

With a heavy sigh, Rachel nodded. "You are a terrible patient, you know that, don't you?" she said with a smirk.

"Excuse me, but I am not! I am Donna and I excel at everything. Including recovering from my injuries in record time. Now scoot… the clock is ticking!"

Rachel tutted loudly, but acquiesced, leaning over and placing a kiss on her friend's cheek. She exited the room, mumbling something about her friend being impossible.

* * *

"You're shitting me."

"I wish I was."

Mike stared at Harvey open mouthed. He shook his head in disbelief. Harvey had updated him on everything that had happened in the early hours of the morning with Roman. The blackmail that Roman had thrown his way, and the fact that they seemed to once again be in an impossible situation.

He paced back and forth as he wrung his fingers through his hair. He felt exasperated that shit was raining down on them once again.

"So, let me get this straight. You testify against Roman, and that asshole leaks video footage of Donna shooting Samuel, risking her being prosecuted. You'd also risk being prosecuted too for giving a false statement to the FBI, not to mention losing your license."

"Correct. Not gonna happen," Harvey responded.

"Alternatively, you do what Roman asks, and the Fed's get seriously pissed off with you and probably reopen the investigation. With more detailed forensic evidence, they'd prove what they already know, that Donna was the one firing the weapon. They may or may not choose to prosecute her. What _is_ a given is they'd no doubt report you to the bar. At best you'd still lose your license, at worst, you could be prosecuted for perjury."

"Also correct, and also pretty shit, although slightly more preferable to the first option."

Mike opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Yeah… I know," Harvey said grimly.

"So what are we gonna do?" Mike asked. His arms flapping out in despair. "Please tell me you have an idea."

Harvey moved around his kitchen as he poured them both another coffee. He passed Mike's refilled mug back to him and hesitated before answering.

"I might have an idea," he answered cautiously.

"I knew it! Batman is back, baby."

"Don't get too excited, Robin! It's more of a hail Mary than an actual plan," he mumbled as he took a sip of his coffee.

It seemed it was all Mike needed to hear as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Shoot!" he said excitedly.

Harvey paused as he contemplated his next words. "My idea is a long shot. It's more of a hope than anything else, and if it doesn't work, I'll be going for option two," he said earnestly.

"You'll do what Roman asks?" Mike questioned in shock.

"It'll fucking kill me, giving that bastard what he wants and the chance for him to walk free, but it's the best chance for Donna. So, yeah, if my idea doesn't work out, that's what I'll do."

Mike shook his head and sighed. "Jesus, Harvey. Could you be any more obvious?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harvey frowned.

"You'll risk everything, you'll let Roman get away with everything he's done, hell, you'll risk going to jail, if it means Donna has the slightest chance of walking away from this? What do you think I mean?" Mike asked, his eyebrow quirked.

"Mike... not now," Harvey grumbled through gritted teeth.

Mike shook his head and rolled his eyes in despair, but he knew better than to push it. "Just tell me your idea then, because whatever it is, we need to make it work."

Harvey nodded. "Firstly, I need to pay Sean Cahill a visit. He's not going to be too happy to see me, but we need his help."

"Okay," Mike said. "What do you need me to do?"

Harvey took a deep breath and as he placed his coffee mug down he looked up intently at Mike. "How do you feel about going back to Danbury?"

Mike swallowed. "Please tell me you want me to go as a visitor and not an inmate," he responded.

"I need you to go and be the second best closer in New York City!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really struggled with writing this week. Maybe it's everything going on, but I just couldn't seem to find the words. Thankfully there are some wonderful people in the fandom that gave me a boost, and voila, I managed to get this chapter done. So huge, mahoosive, ginormous thanks to Blue and Aimee for being perfect beta's (and amazing friends) and also to Cassie for gee'ing me up too, giving me some wonderful advice and kind words of reassurance. I love you, ladies.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has liked, followed and reviewed. Please don't stop! I get a thrill every time someone has taken the time to let me know what they think. It means so much!
> 
> Anyway - I hope you enjoy it. It's still very angsty I'm afraid!

* * *

Donna was frozen to the spot as she took in her surroundings. Her familiar hallway, the mail she hadn't yet opened on the side table, the vase of yellow tulips that were now wilting slightly.

She dropped the overnight bag that Rachel had brought to the hospital, on the floor. Her friend was just a few steps behind her, closing the front door behind them.

Everything was as she had left it, yet it all felt completely different. It really had been only a few days since she'd last been here, but it seemed like an eon ago. So much had changed. So much had happened. Her eyes pricked with tears, the enormity of the last few days momentarily taking her breath away.

She'd been fine leaving the hospital, she'd stayed calm and collected when seeing her Dad, the reassurance that he was making a full recovery and in turn, his relief at seeing that she too was okay, had helped pacify her. On the journey back to New York, she'd still managed to keep everything in check as she'd listened to Rachel babble incessantly about anything and everything. Her friend had seemed to sense that Donna needed the distraction, that she wasn't ready to talk about what had happened, so Rachel had chatted away about the clinic, a couple of cases her and Mike had been working on, how she'd managed to identify a few more amazing restaurants in Seattle and their annoying new kaftan wearing neighbour that seemed to have a penchant for yodelling at all times of the day.

But now that she was home, as she looked around, reality struck. Her life would now be inherently different from what it had been before. It was as though the Donna that had left this apartment, just under a week ago, would never return.

She felt Rachel's hand on her back. Her friend, wanting to offer her some comfort and reassurance that she wasn't alone.

"You alright?" Rachel's gentle voice soothed her slightly.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I just…" Donna's voice faltered.

"It's okay," Rachel responded knowingly. "Hey, how about you go and take that shower you said you were desperate for, and I'll make us some tea."

Donna gave her friend a thankful nod. "That sounds like a great idea. I'm not a big fan of hospitals, and I've suffered two of them today. I swear I can smell them on me," she added.

Rachel flashed a warm smile and made her way into the kitchen. Donna followed hesitantly. She draped her coat over the back of the couch and as she bent down to remove her shoes, she winced slightly, her muscles still sore from her ordeal and her head still thrumming with a dull ache. The pain had not abated all day. She slowly walked towards her bedroom, but paused before looking back at her friend.

"Rachel, you know you can just go to your parents. I'll be fine."

Rachel had been rummaging through Donna's kitchen cupboard, looking for tea bags when she paused, her head tilting back, eyebrows raised. "Not this again, Donna. You and I both know that Dr. Wynn was less than happy that you discharged yourself. I think the only reason she relented in the end was because I promised I would keep an eye on you overnight. I pride myself on my integrity Donna, so don't you think for one second that I intend on breaking that promise. Now go grab that shower," she said sternly.

Donna rolled her eyes, but acquiesced with a small smile. "Yes Ma'am," she obeyed.

She entered the bedroom and, closing the door behind her, she rested against it momentarily and expelled a deep breath.

She felt unsettled. Anxious. A sense of foreboding was creeping through her veins. She was pretty sure it wasn't her ordeal that was making her feel this way, at least not solely so. It was the sense that there were still so many unresolved issues, problems that still needed to be fixed yet she was totally out of sorts. Donna always tackled problems head on, she used her talents and skills to navigate around troublesome situations and she did it with aplomb. However, right now she felt far from confident. She felt lost. She was like a wounded animal, that sense of self-assurance that Samuel had stripped from her had not returned. She'd never been so vulnerable and ever since her incarceration and the events that had followed, she'd felt totally exposed.

Harvey had once joked many years ago, after she'd produced yet another miracle and saved the day with a particularly tough case at the D.A's office, that she was the superhero, not him. "That, or a white witch," he'd smirked. Her skills and talents often seeming otherworldly to him at the time. Well right now, it was as though she'd lost all of her powers.

She gradually began removing her clothes. They were still the ones that she'd been wearing the day Samuel had abducted her. Rachel hadn't had a chance to provide her with clean clothes at the hospital. She decided in an instant that she would throw them out, possibly burn them if she could. The process of eliminating any reminders of that abhorrent man, had to start somewhere.

She stepped into the shower and allowed the hot spray to soothe her aches and pains. She winced though, as the hot water hit the broken and sore skin on her wrists and ankles. The sensation jolted her, more as a reminder of what she'd endured rather than the physical pain itself. She felt her eyes fill with tears and her anger spiked again. She just wanted it all to go away. The memories of what he'd done to her, the fear that had paralysed her and the hate that she'd felt that had caused her to pull that trigger. She wished she could just erase it all.

She would've liked to have stayed in that shower until the water ran cold, hid away from reality for a little bit longer. However, she was mindful of her friend, no doubt waiting patiently for her in her living room, probably worrying too that she'd already taken as long as she had. She loved Rachel, and it meant the world to her that her friend hadn't hesitated one second to be there for her. But Donna wasn't used to being taken care of, to being looked after and her friend's attempts at helping her and comforting her just compounded the sense of weakness that she felt. She knew it was irrational, but she couldn't help it. It felt alien to her.

She carefully and methodically got dressed into some yoga pants and a baggy T-shirt. Something comfortable and loose. As she twisted her now washed, but still wet hair into a high bun, she heard the sounds of three loud knocks on her front door. Donna halted, and her breath hitched. Rachel had mentioned that Harvey planned on visiting her this afternoon, and she'd pushed that knowledge to the back of her mind along with all her other worried thoughts. The prospect of him being here now, panicked her. She wasn't ready to face him yet.

The months leading up to this last hellish week had been painful and torturous. Their friendship in tatters and her heart broken. However, as devastating as it had been, she'd known where she had stood with him. Now, she wasn't so sure. He'd risked so much to help her, to save her from a horrendous situation, but she surmised that he'd probably done so out of guilt. She had been used as a means to get to Harvey, and that would have torn at him. He'd kissed her, but once again, she'd convinced herself that he'd done so merely to comfort her, and that hurt like hell too.

She didn't know what he could possibly be here to say, but whatever it was, she had no clue what she would say in response.

She opened her bedroom door, and walked slowly into her living room. She could hear Rachel's voice down the hallway and she heard her front door slam. Rachel then appeared and she instantly flashed Donna an apologetic look. Before Donna could say anything, she felt her stomach drop when she realised it wasn't Harvey that had paid her a visit. It was his girlfriend.

"Paula!" Donna almost choked.

"I'm sorry, Donna," Rachel said quickly. "I did say that you had only just got back and you needed to rest, but she insisted on speaking with you. She said it was urgent," Rachel said through gritted teeth. Clearly not happy that the other woman wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Urgent?" Donna's eyes grew wide with fear. "Oh my God, is Harvey okay?" she gasped, her hand splayed across her chest.

"He's fine," Paula responded. "As well as can be expected at the moment, anyway," she added, her face stoic.

"Can this really not wait?" Rachel asked again. Her normal friendly tone carried a slight edge of irritation.

"It's fine, Rachel," Donna said with a wave of her hand. Inside though, her stomach was churning.

"I promise I won't take too much of your time, Donna. However, I would like to talk to you in private, if that's okay," Paula requested, tentatively.

Rachel raised her eyebrows and immediately looked across to her friend. She didn't want to abandon Donna and she certainly wouldn't be leaving without her assurance that she was okay.

Donna gave a little nod back. Rachel sighed and reached for her coat, she glanced quickly between the two other women. "I'm just going to quickly go out and grab a few groceries for us tonight, Donna. I won't be long. No more than twenty minutes." The last part she said as she looked directly at Paula. With that, she promptly left, leaving an awkward silence behind her.

Paula cleared her throat. "How are you, Donna?" She asked with a frown. She seemed genuinely concerned, although her tone smacked of professionalism rather than friendliness.

"I'm… Actually, I'm not really sure. I don't think any of it has really sunk in yet," Donna answered with honesty.

Paula nodded. "That's quite normal, after everything you've been through. I would suggest that you arrange some counselling as soon as possible. I can recommend some excellent therapists that specialize in PTSD counselling—"

"Thank you. It's already in hand," Donna lied, but she smiled gratefully at Paula, appreciative of the offer. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Paula hesitated. "I wanted to talk to you about Harvey," she said, not beating around the bush. Paula had lifted her chin, giving her an air of defiance, and Donna immediately sensed that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

"Okay."

Donna sat down gingerly on the couch. She felt nervous and uneasy which caused the constant thrumming of her headache to intensify. She indicated to Paula to sit down too, but with a shake of her head, Harvey's girlfriend chose to remain standing.

"I may be doing the wrong thing by telling you this, but you're an astute woman and I figured that you would want to know." Paula hesitated as she tucked her hair behind her ear with slightly trembling fingers. "Roman Karimov paid us a visit last night. Harvey and I… at _home!"_

Donna felt her blood run cold. The sound of that man's name striking fear into her heart, so much so that it somewhat overshadowed the intentional inflection that Paula had used in her words. Even though she was delivering frightening news, Harvey's girlfriend still took the opportunity to remind Donna of her place in Harvey's life.

"What?... Oh my God! What happened? Is he okay?"

Paula swallowed. "No, Donna, he isn't. Roman is blackmailing him. He knows that you were the one that killed Samuel," she said with a grimace, and Donna's eyes widened at her words. "He also knows that Harvey confessed to it, that he lied to the FBI… for _you!"_.

There was no mistaking how Paula felt about that. Her eyes had narrowed, and she was breathing rapidly, her hands now visibly shaking.

"Paula… I assure you, I never asked him to do that. I had no idea—"

"That's not all," she interrupted. "Roman has proof. He had a camera in the club that filmed everything. It has no sound, but he has footage of you pulling the trigger and he is planning on releasing that footage if Harvey doesn't ensure that Roman walks completely free from all of this."

Donna's hand flew up to her mouth. She felt sick. "No! If that footage is released, the FBI will know that Harvey lied and he could lose everything." She too was shaking now. This was exactly what she had been afraid of the moment Mike told her what Harvey had done.

Paula pursed her lips and nodded before continuing. "He has already made a deal with the FBI whereby he agreed to testify _against_ Roman. So, if he does what Roman is asking of him, he will have to perjure himself in open court. Which means he could _still_ lose everything. Again...to protect _you!_ "

Donna was mortified with what Paula was telling her, however she felt her anger spike at Paula's tone. "I repeat, Paula, I did _not_ ask Harvey to claim responsibility for Samuel's death. I woke up in the hospital and only then discovered from Mike what he'd done. I was just as angry as you are, because it was a stupid move. I wanted to set the record straight, then and there. Call the FBI and tell them the truth, but Mike reminded me that doing so would expose Harvey as a liar. The damage was already done. I'm furious with Harvey about this, but don't you dare blame me for his choices!"

Paula's eyes flashed with anger then and she took a step closer to Donna. "Don't blame you? He only did this because he's racked with guilt. It's been eating away at him—"

"I didn't ask to be kidnapped, Paula!" Donna responded defensively.

"I'm not talking about the last few days, _Donna!_ " she almost spat. "I'm talking about the last few months. Do you think I didn't notice how different he has been with you lately? I suspected that something had happened between the two of you, but I'd stupidly assumed you had argued over a work matter. Imagine my horror when I discovered it was over a kiss!"

Both women stood in silence, staring at each other. Their heavy, rapid breathing the only sounds to be heard.

Paula stepped back again and she crossed her arms in front of her as though to protect herself from the truth that she'd just released into the room.

"We both know how Harvey feels about infidelity," she said. "As soon as I discovered what had happened between the two of you, suddenly it all made sense. His behaviour over the last few months and at the wedding, not to mention how reckless and irrational he was once you went missing. He felt guilty about cheating, took his anger out on you, then felt guilty about that once you were abducted. This confession that he made to the FBI is just another way of him trying to recompense."

Donna swallowed heavily. Her knees were trembling and she really did think she might throw up. She really couldn't abide the woman standing in front of her, and she didn't really care if that was purely out of sheer jealousy. However, she couldn't argue with anything that Paula had said. It was the conclusion she had come to herself, and whilst she may not have initially regretted the kiss, only the fallout from it, now she regretted it deeply. It had led to the actions Harvey had taken, and would now probably lead to his complete downfall.

"I'm sorry, Paula. I don't know what Harvey told you, but please know that _I_ was the one that kissed _him_. He didn't ask or invite it. I blindsided him. That's why he was so angry with me," she said quietly.

Paula looked away and closed her eyes, as though to recompose herself. "Did he kiss you back?" she almost whispered, and she failed to hide the fear in her voice.

"No," Donna responded immediately. She had debated this fact with herself so many times since that night. She was initially certain that if she hadn't pulled away when she did, it could have gone further. But the months of barbed comments and spiteful remarks had chipped away at her memory as well as her resolve. He'd spewed so much anger at her that she'd almost convinced herself that she'd imagined any kind of response from Harvey. He seemed so disgusted with her that it didn't seem possible that he had felt anything other than a normal human reaction. Anything other than anger that is.

Paula nodded slowly and she looked back at Donna. "I know that you are in love with him," she said almost with pity.

Donna could protest at this claim, but there really wasn't any point. They both knew it to be true.

"I also know that you want what's best for him. But, your relationship with him is not healthy. You have to see that. He wants to move on, Donna, and you're holding him back. He can't make rational decisions when it concerns you. Now he stands to lose everything, his job, his career, maybe even his freedom, and whilst I appreciate that's not entirely your fault, you have to see that you are the catalyst for all of this." Paula looked apologetic but she spoke her words with clear intent.

Donna nodded slowly as she looked away from Paula, tears forming in her eyes. She cleared her throat. "I can fix this, Paula. The situation with Roman. I know that Mike has been with Harvey this morning, and they've no doubt come up with a plan, but regardless of what that is, I will fix this and I will protect him. I promise," she said confidently despite her voice dripping with emotion.

"And after?" Paula dared to ask, her eyes not wavering from Donna's.

Donna stared right back, and didn't answer for a few beats. She swallowed and gave Paula a sad smile. "I'll take care of that too," she said.

Paula seemed to visibly relax then, her shoulders slumped slightly, and she took a deep breath. "Thank you, Donna," she said sincerely.

She uncrossed her arms as though it was safe now for her to drop her defenses. "I'd better get going. Rachel will be back soon and I doubt she will be happy to see me taking up any more of your time."

She made her way out of the living room and Donna followed behind. As she reached the front door and opened it she turned back one last time.

"Goodbye, Donna. Take care. Please don't forget to arrange that counselling," she added with a nervous smile.

"I will," Donna said stiffly as she watched the blonde step into the hallway.

"Paula!" she called out and the other woman glanced back at her. "Promise me you'll take care of him," Donna said with as much gravitas as she could muster. Her hazel eyes glistening with tears.

Paula simply smiled and nodded in understanding. An unspoken acknowledgement between them of how much they both loved and cared for him.

Donna watched Paula disappear from view and then as she slowly closed her front door, she immediately slumped against it, a deep sob wracking her body. She allowed herself this. This moment to mourn what might have been. To experience the sorrow of what she had just agreed to. She was alone for now. She didn't need to put on a brave face. She didn't need to wear her 'Donna' mantle. There was no-one here to convince that she was okay. She could just let the sadness take her and grieve. Grieve for him. She had sunk to the floor and she wrapped her arms around herself as she rocked back and forth and just cried.

Once her tears slowly subsided, she took a deep breath and pulled herself up from the floor. Her outpour of emotions may have been cathartic but it hadn't helped her pounding head. She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed some painkillers and downed them with the aid of the now cold tea that Rachel had made for her. She caught her reflection in her living room mirror and sighed. Rachel would be back soon and she couldn't let her see her like this. So she splashed her face with cold water and after patting herself dry, she picked up a blanket, and made her way to the couch. With any luck, Rachel would be late back, by which time she'd no longer have puffy eyes and blotchy skin. Unfortunately, it was only a few seconds later that she heard the key in her door.

* * *

" _You have to be kidding me, Harvey. Which part of 'we're done' did you not understand?"_

"Sean, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important. We're talking major fraud, extortion, money laundering, not to mention kidnap and murder. The bastard is now trying to blackmail me into testifying on his behalf. He's insisting I ensure he is exonerated, and I can't let that happen. I know, you wouldn't want that to happen either. I just need you to pull a few strings, agree to a deal that will enable Mike and I to set something in motion that could see an end to this and an end to Roman Karimov," Harvey responded.

" _Well now you've mentioned Mike Ross, of course I'll do it. It's not like your sidekick didn't threaten me with a lawsuit for 'abuse of power' last time I saw him. You should have led with that, Harvey,"_ Sean responded, his familiar sarcasm oozing from his words.

"Sean," Harvey sighed. "We could do this all day, but you and I both know that despite how you feel about me and Mike, you know this is the right thing to do. Besides, Karimov's empire is extensive and his network vast. Rich pickings for someone like you. If we do this right, Roman will sing like a canary and in terms of you scoring a few wins, it'll be like all your Christmases will have come at once. Honestly, it's more me doing _you_ a favour!"

" _Ever heard the phrase 'beware of Greeks bearing gifts'?"_ Sean scoffed.

Harvey chuckled lightly. "I confess I'm not really into classic mythology, but I'm not your enemy, Sean... and I'm certainly not Greek."

Harvey gazed out the window of his Lexus as he waited for Sean to respond. He'd neglected to tell Sean that his whole plan had no guarantees, and he certainly wasn't going to disclose that should it fail, he was going to do exactly what Roman wanted, perjuring himself in the process.

After what seemed like an eternal silence on the other end of the line, Sean finally spoke up. _"I might have a few contacts in the FBI who would be willing to broker a deal. But I'm not making any promises and you need to give me a few days, I do have other work to do you know, Harvey, other than be your Mr. Beck and Call guy."_

"I always thought of you more as my Commissioner Gordon," Harvey quipped, his lips turned up slightly as he felt a wave of relief that Sean was prepared to help.

" _What, and you're Batman? Really? I have to confess, I do_ _ **not**_ _see that at all, Harv. If we're talking classic movie characters, I see you more as 'Wall-E' or 'Mr. Potato Head'."_

"Do you really have other work to do, Sean? Or are you just watching kids' films all day?"

" _Okay, we're done, Harvey. I feel my irritation levels spiking again,"_ Sean mumbled.

"Yeah, we're done. Except to tell you that I need that deal confirmed in the next few hours not days. Mike will be at Danbury this afternoon."

" _You just don't know when to quit, do you? Your arrogance knows no bounds."_ Sean groaned.

Harvey smirked. "I'll await your call, Sean."

He disconnected the call and immediately dialed Mike, updating him that the first step had been taken and had gone as anticipated. He kept the call brief and after promising to contact him again as soon as he heard back from Sean, he hung up, leaning his head back with a heavy sigh.

"Everything okay, Harvey?" Ray's voice piped up, as he glanced at his boss through the rearview mirror.

"As well as can be expected, Ray," he said quietly, as he shifted his gaze out of the window, the everyday hustle and bustle of New York life flying by in a blur.

"Do you still want me to take you to Miss Paulsen's next?" Ray asked.

"Yes!" Harvey answered a little too quickly.

They exchanged a brief look, and Ray nodded. "Traffic is light. I'll have you there in no time, Harvey," he said almost gently. A subtle but unspoken understanding that there wasn't anywhere else Harvey felt he needed to be.

"Thanks, Ray," Harvey responded with a small smile.

They spent the remainder of the short journey in comfortable silence, although Harvey felt anything but comfortable. Despite the uncertainty of what they were trying to do, it wasn't actually their current predicament that was making him anxious. He should be stressed beyond belief. After all, not only was his license to practice law at risk, but he could even face prosecution and jail time. Those worries were still there, but they were temporarily buried underneath a blanket of suspense and apprehension that had nothing to do with Roman but everything to do with Donna.

He had been desperate to see her from the moment he had left the police precinct the previous night. He had been worried about her anyway - that was the understatement of the year, but then when he had discovered from Mike that she had not only discharged herself from the hospital, but had then gone and visited Jim instead of resting at home, he had been livid. Part of him acknowledged that her actions were hardly a surprise. He knew her too well, in fact he was pretty sure he knew her better than anyone. Harvey understood all the reasons why she would choose to leave the hospital prematurely, her stubbornness being top of the list. He still felt angry and frustrated though. He needed to know that she was safe and well. He couldn't erase the image of her shocked and comatose state from his mind. It flashed behind his eyes on a constant rotation with other haunted visions. Her tied and gagged, the fear in her eyes, the tears down her face and the sounds of her sobs. Those images coupled with the guilt that consumed him, had been torturing him. He needed to see her. He needed to speak to her, although he still had no clue what he would say.

"Here we are, Harvey," Ray's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Thanks, Ray. I'm not sure how long I'll be. Are you okay to hold on for a while?" Harvey asked.

"Of course, boss," Ray answered with a reassuring nod. "You take as long as you need. Please pass on my regards to Donna," he added.

Harvey climbed out of the car and paused on the sidewalk, looking up at Donna's building. He hadn't been here since the night he'd asked for her key back. The memory jarred. He'd been so cruel that night, and he instantly added the recollection of her anguished face to the other memories that were currently scorching his mind.

He buttoned up his coat, took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Harvey?"

He turned to the sound of his name being called and spotted Rachel approaching, carrying a grocery bag full of produce. He frowned, slightly confused.

"Rachel! I thought you were meant to be with Donna at all times," he said slightly accusatively.

"I was, but her cupboards were bare and we need to eat," she replied unfazed by his tone.

"What's wrong with take-out?"

"Have you tried the food from that shitty Thai place she loves so much? That's a one-way ticket back to hospital, right there," she said with a snort.

"Goddamn it, Rachel, she's not supposed to be on her own. It's bad enough that you let her leave the hospital, but Mike assured me you'd stick to her like glue," he snapped.

"Hey, just wait a minute, Harvey. I did not _let_ her leave the hospital, she discharged herself against my better judgement. Wild horses wouldn't have kept her from visiting her father. You know how stubborn she can be, and for your information, I have stuck to her like glue!"

"Really!" he scoffed as he looked from Donna's building back to Rachel.

Rachel shook her head and began climbing the steps, retrieving Donna's keys from her pocket. "Here!" she huffed, shoving the grocery bag into Harvey's arms before turning to open the front door. She then stuffed the keys into his hand and took a step back.

"I didn't leave her alone Harvey. She had a visitor. Your girlfriend as a matter of fact."

Harvey's eyes widened. "Paula is here?"

"She wanted to speak to Donna in private so I took the opportunity to get us some supplies. She's probably left by now, I _did_ take a little longer than expected," she hesitated taking in Harvey's shocked expression that was slowly morphing into one of worry and concern. "But you know...I've just realised that I've forgotten a key ingredient. So why don't you go on up and I'll nip back to the store. I won't be long, I promise. I'll be back on guard… sorry, nursing duty in no time," she said with a wry smile.

Harvey swallowed, looking down at the keys. "Thanks, Rachel," he said.

She nodded. "Harvey… before you go up, you should know that she's unaware of all that I disclosed to you on that phone call, the night you rang asking about Samuel. Remember what you promised me. You said you'd put this right, and we both know you weren't talking about her being kidnapped. Whatever you go in there and say, don't hurt her."

Harvey opened his mouth to respond but Rachel had already stepped away, marching back towards the grocery store.

He stayed poised in the doorway of the lobby for a moment, allowing Rachel's words to sink in. Of course he hadn't forgotten his promise. The phone call he'd had with Mike and Rachel that night was burnt into his memory.

" _She was in pain. A lot of pain."_

" _I'm just gonna come out and say it, Harvey. She's in love with you."_

" _She's heartbroken… You chose someone else."_

" _She feels she's lost you as her best friend."_

Through all the fear and anguish of the last few days, Rachel's words had never left him. A constant reminder of the state their relationship had been in. How broken it was and how much damage he had done. The lump in his throat that had formed as he thought on that notion was soon replaced however, with a flash of anxiety.

Paula.

What had she come here to say? Had she challenged Donna about the kiss? If so, what had Donna told her?

These questions swirled around his head as he made his way up to Donna's floor. He paused as he stared at the all too familiar '206', taking a deep breath. He glanced down at the keys in his hand, selecting her front door key and placing it in the lock. He turned it, opening the door and stepping inside.

As he closed the door gently behind him, he immediately listened for the sound of voices. The apartment was in silence. Rachel was right, Paula must have already left.

It was just the two of them.


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

"It's almost time, Mike. What do we do if Harvey doesn't call?"

Mike checked his watch and sighed. "We bluff!" he said with a shrug.

Samantha rolled her eyes. "Wonderful!"

Mike turned his head and eyed the blonde lawyer sitting next to him, his eyebrows raised. "Is bluffing not in your skill set?"

Samantha smirked. "Please! There is nothing missing from my skill set!"

Mike eyed her with an amused expression, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Really?"

Samantha gave her own nonchalant shrug in response. "Your best asset might be that weird brain of yours, but thankfully for us, not only do I have a formidable brain… I also happen to have balls!"

Mike chuckled. "I don't doubt it!"

The door opened then and a different prison guard, not one of the ones they'd spoken to earlier, stepped into the waiting room.

"Miss Wheeler? Can I just clarify with you, that it is Vinski Murati you wish to see? Because you are not listed here as his attorney," he commented with a frown as he flipped over several pieces of paper from his clipboard.

"It is. His employer hired our firm to represent him, but I doubt he's been made aware of that fact yet," Samantha replied assuredly.

"So I'm guessing the same goes for you then, Mr. Ross?" The guard glanced across to Mike.

"Yes. Mr. Hasanov is not expecting me, but it's important I speak with him."

The guard eyed them with just a slight air of cynicism. He was an older man, probably not too far from retirement, certainly someone who had been around the block a few times and had been spun many stories during his career. Mike thought he looked vaguely familiar from his time here as an inmate, but he couldn't be sure.

"I have the paperwork here to prove our firm's representation," Samantha said. She reached for her briefcase and lifted it on to her lap, delving inside to retrieve a couple of files.

The guard waved his hand. "That won't be necessary, just make sure you confirm all your firm's details when you sign in. Hasanov and Murati are currently undertaking prison duties at the moment, so you won't be able to see them until after 4pm."

"We can wait," Mike said with a smile.

The guard nodded. "I'll be back in about half an hour, then."

As soon as he'd left the room again, Mike let out a sigh. "You have the paperwork, really?" he mumbled with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"I knew he wasn't going to insist on seeing it." Samantha smirked.

That sat in relative silence for a few minutes, watching the minutes tick away on the clock on the wall, as they waited for Harvey's call.

"So has he always been this reckless?" Samantha suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Harvey! I haven't known him for that long, but his reputation preceded him. I expected to butt heads with him, and we have, several times. However, his behaviour since I arrived at the firm has been erratic, and him confessing like that, and not discussing it with us? I never expected him to be so foolhardy."

Mike took a deep breath as he glanced across to Samantha. "The short answer? No, he's not normally that rash," he paused before continuing. "He's been out of sorts for a while," he added vaguely.

Samantha nodded slowly, realisation dawning on her face. "Hmm. Let me guess. This has been the exception to the rule because of a certain redhead!"

Mike scratched the back of his head as he tried to find the right words. It wasn't really his place to comment on the relationship between Harvey and Donna, especially to one of the new senior partners in Harvey's firm, even after everything they'd been through together over the last few days.

"Let's just say that Harvey is the best at what he does. He's calculating, ballsy and he always wins. He does that by never letting his emotions get in the way. But with Donna, it's different, or should I say, he's always been different."

Samantha took in Mike's words with a slight frown. "Hmmm. I figured as much." She chuckled to herself then as she shook her head. "Men are so stupid sometimes," she said resignedly.

"Hey!"

She looked Mike up and down and shrugged, clearly not inclined to retract her observation.

Before Mike could protest any further, his phone started ringing and he quickly retrieved it from his pocket.

"Harvey?" Samantha asked quickly.

Mike shook his head as he looked down at the screen. "Nope, Sean Cahill," he replied with surprise.

"Straight from the horse's mouth!" Samantha commented.

Mike nodded with a tight smile as he answered the call. "Sean, please tell me you are calling with good news."

* * *

Donna's heart sank at the realisation that Rachel had returned already. She knew there was no disguising the fact that she'd been crying. Her cheeks felt tight, her eyes were sore and her breathing still hadn't completely settled, the occasional sob or sigh escaping from her involuntarily.

She needed more time to compose herself. Feeling as weak as she did, the last thing she wanted was Rachel witnessing her vulnerability. As she heard the rustle of her front door keys, followed by a brief moment of silence, Donna wondered if she had time to escape to her bedroom, unnoticed. She could feign sleep for an hour while Rachel cooked dinner. It might be slightly dishonest, but she currently felt completely stripped of her Donna armour and she needed some semblance of control back. Besides, Rachel would no doubt be pleased at the thought of her finally heeding Dr. Wynn's advice and getting some rest.

Donna quickly stood from her couch, propelled by the notion that if she was quick, she'd make it to the sanctity of her bedroom in time. However, she'd only managed two steps when her breath caught in her throat and her stomach dropped to the floor. She stood frozen in place.

Harvey had rounded the corner into her living room, carrying a grocery bag full of produce in the crook of his one arm, her front door keys dangling from his other hand.

He too, froze.

Donna had heard but never fully appreciated the notion of time standing still. She'd never experienced that sense of a moment being frozen in time. She felt it keenly now though, as they stood staring at each other, neither of them apparently knowing what to say or do.

Harvey's expression then changed from shock to immediate concern as his eyes raked across her face. His shoulders slumped and his head tilted slightly to the side and he swallowed heavily.

"Donna."

He placed the grocery back on the coffee table beside him and took a tentative step toward her. Donna immediately crossed her arms across her chest and stepped back. It wasn't a conscious move, more an instinctual reaction. A means to protect herself. However, she immediately felt a pang of guilt when she observed a look of hurt flash across his features. He paused his movements and once again, they stood eyeing each other warily. Another painful silence followed which only added to the rising tension in the air.

"Where's Rachel?" Donna finally choked out. It hardly seemed the most pertinent thing to say, but Donna was finding the atmosphere unbearable.

Harvey took the lifeline she'd thrown and cleared his throat. "She forgot something. An ingredient…She'll be back soon," he replied. The awkwardness was not alleviated whatsoever by Donna's question or his response.

Harvey braved another step closer to her, and this time Donna forced herself to remain where she stood, although her arms tightened around herself.

"I'd ask you how you are, but I think I can see that for myself," he all but whispered, his eyes full of sorrow as he once again scanned her face.

"I'm okay." Donna gave a tiny nod of her head and closed her eyes as though to steady her resolve but when she opened them again, her trembling lip betrayed her true emotions.

It was enough to finally push Harvey into action, and he strode towards her and pulled her into his arms.

Donna immediately stiffened, her mind screaming to resist him, to deny what her heart was craving. However the feel of Harvey's strong arms wrapped around her combined with his unique but familiar scent overwhelming her senses, soon caused the fragile wall that she'd built up around herself to crumble. She let herself sink into his embrace, allowed his strength and warmth to envelop her as she once again let the tears fall. She sobbed without restraint and she felt Harvey's arms tighten around her as he carefully stroked her hair and gently rocked her.

Part of her hated herself for allowing this. Her mind was still warring with her heart, constantly reminding her that she couldn't have this. Couldn't have him. She'd made a promise, one that entailed letting him go and that meant that she should be pushing him away. Not just to keep her promise, but to protect her heart in the long run. For, no good could come from allowing him to hold her like this. The longer he held her, the more that she allowed herself to absorb him and the more it felt like she had come home. And she knew that this would only tear at her already broken heart and spirit later when she would inevitably have to let him go.

"I'm so sorry, Donna. For everything," he whispered into her hair.

She squeezed her eyes shut at his words. She knew that he was consumed with guilt and that he would try to apologise for all that had happened. She sensed that he needed to comfort her just as much as she coveted his affection, even if tragically for her, his reasons for doing so differed from hers. She said nothing though, not willing to risk putting an end to his embrace, just yet.

"I've hurt you, so badly. I pushed you away right at the moment you needed me most. It kills me that you felt you couldn't come to me about your father, Donna," Harvey continued, his voice cracking with emotion as he continued to hold her, his hand running up and down her back in a soothing motion.

Donna knew then that she needed to pull away. She needed to assure him somehow that she was okay, even if she felt far from it.

"It's alright, Harvey," she said with as much confidence as she could muster as she slowly withdrew from his embrace. She instantly felt the absence of him and it almost took her breath away.

"No...it's not!" Harvey almost shouted, an incredulous look in his eyes. He reached for her again, not willing to let her go just yet, but this time she took a deliberate step away from him, and she shook her head, ever so subtly as she looked to the floor.

Harvey's shoulders slumped, his head fell to one side and he eyed her with an acute sadness. Her body language communicated more than her words ever could as he noted her physically distancing herself. He dropped his outstretched arm to his side and balled his fists.

"Donna...please—"

"Why did you do it, Harvey? Confess to the FBI?" Donna asked suddenly. Her feelings of pain and anguish in the moment were threatening to get the better of her and she needed to change tack. Anger had always been a useful emotion to fall back on and she needed to divert the conversation away from their broken relationship.

Harvey clenched his jaw and swallowed heavily before answering. "You know why," he mumbled as he looked away from her.

"Don't!" Donna snapped. "Don't you dare say that to me!"

Harvey threw his arms out in a defensive gesture. "What do you want me to say, Donna? I had to protect you."

"Bullshit!" Donna raged. "It was self-defense, Harvey. Or did you think it wasn't?" she challenged him.

Harvey paled at her words. "Of course it was self-defense. I was there. I saw exactly what happened. You had no choice, no-one could ever question that!"

"Well clearly you don't actually think that, Harvey, or you wouldn't have felt the need to confess to something you didn't do," Donna bit back.

Harvey pursed his lips and he shook his head. "I couldn't take the risk. I swear there was no doubt in my mind that you were blameless in this Donna, but I also know how the law works, how these things can play out. Especially when you have an overzealous prosecutor with an axe to grind."

"That's just paranoia, Harvey. You have to see that you've risked much more by doing what you did. Your license, your freedom—"

"Better than risking you," he interrupted as he looked her squarely in the eye.

Donna felt her eyes sting with tears again. His words simultaneously bathing her in hope and despair. Hope that he felt more. Hope that he wanted more and that she meant as much to him, as he did to her. But also despair. Utter despair at the reality of their situation, the knowledge that he had chosen someone else and that the words he'd just uttered were not meant in the way her heart longed and yearned for.

"Well, it was a stupid thing to do, Harvey. I'm still at risk and now, so are you," she said bitterly as she stared right back at him.

Harvey's eyes narrowed then, as he digested her words. "You know about Roman," he said dejectedly.

Donna nodded. "I do."

"Is that why Paula was here? Was she the one who told you?" he asked, his eyes wide.

Donna crossed her arms across her chest again at the mention of Harvey's girlfriend. Her recent visit still fresh in her mind, the painful ache of that unpleasant conversation still very much present. However, she knew she had to tread carefully here.

"She's worried sick about you, Harvey. You can hardly blame her," she said carefully. She didn't dare look up, afraid of what she might see in Harvey's eyes.

"It wasn't her place to say anything to you."

"She told me because she felt I had every right to know, and she's right. I am not a child, Harvey. Stop treating me like one. Like I'm some fragile doll that might break." Donna was trembling again, and she cursed the fact that her frustration and anger might be misconstrued as weakness.

"Donna—"

"No, Harvey. You don't get to make decisions that affect my life and then think it's okay to hide them from me. Roman is blackmailing you and he's using me to do it, and as it stands, whatever you decide to do, you stand to lose everything. You're damn right she told me, and I'm glad someone did." Donna was breathing rapidly now. She realised that tears had started to fall down her cheeks again and she swiftly brushed them away with her hand, an action that did not go unnoticed by Harvey.

"What exactly did she say to you?" Harvey asked, instantly concerned.

Donna knew what he was alluding to, and there was no way she was going to open that can of worms right now. "Why? Is there something else you are hiding from me?" she asked in defiance.

Harvey faltered. He shook his head.

"Is Roman threatening anyone else?" she asked, desperately trying to veer the conversation back to the topic of Roman Karimov and away from Paula Agard.

"No, Donna. Just us," he said with a grimace.

"So what are you going to do?" Donna asked. "I know you met with Mike this morning."

Harvey took a deep breath and he ran his fingers through his hair. "We have a plan, things are already in motion," he said evasively.

"What's the plan?" she asked without skipping a beat.

Harvey clenched his jaw. "You don't need to know the details."

"Like hell I don't! What did I just say, Harvey? Stop leaving me out of the loop. Tell me what the plan is!"

"Goddamnit Donna, No!" he shouted back at her, frustration getting the better of him. "Will you just…" He paused and let out a deep sigh. He took a step toward her then, ignoring her pained expression and apparent desire to distance herself from him.

"Will you just trust that I will sort this mess out? Please?" He looked at her pleadingly.

Donna bit her lip and forced herself to look away from Harvey's deep brown eyes. "I do trust you, Harvey. You know that I do," she said softly.

Harvey's face softened at her words, and he reached for her hand, gently running his thumb across her palm. Donna's breath hitched at his touch and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to keep her composure.

"We're working on obtaining some leverage over Roman, okay? Something he can't afford to ignore, and if all goes well, he won't be a problem anymore," he said in that soft timbre of his that always struck her at her core.

"And what if it doesn't go well?" she dared to whisper as she looked down at their entwined hands.

Harvey didn't answer right away, and she looked back up at him. He too was staring at their hands and she noticed him swallow heavily.

She knew then, beyond a doubt. She knew what he was already prepared to do. He was going to throw himself on his sword for her, just as Paula had intimated. Her stomach lurched at both the prospect of his decision and also at the notion that there would be nothing that she could say that would deter him from that choice. She knew him too well, she knew that expression that he was currently wearing. That steely resolve that told her he would not be persuaded to divert from the path he had chosen, no matter what she threatened him with.

"It will," he said with a determined smile as he looked up into her eyes.

She wasn't fooled though, and to her utter despair, his eyes also betrayed the fact that he wasn't as sure of this plan as he was letting on. His countenance lacked some of his usual swagger and confidence. His plan was obviously a 'Hail Mary' and Donna wanted to scream at him.

She recalled then, her promise to Paula, and she knew that she would have to put a stop to this madness. She loved him deeply, and despite everything that had happened between them, it was her kissing him that had started this mess and had caused their relationship to break down. Harvey falling on his sword was sprung out of guilt and she could not allow him to lose any more than he already had. She owed it to him to sort this mess out once and for all. She knew what it was she had to do, and as that realisation settled on her, she felt some of her inner strength return.

She just had to make sure that Harvey didn't find out. The last thing she needed was for him to suspect that she had her own plan of action. If he knew, he would put an immediate stop to it, and she couldn't allow that to happen.

So she gave him a weak smile and nodded.

Harvey scanned her face and he frowned slightly, probably surprised that she'd let it go. He didn't question it though, and he glanced back at her hand, turning it over gently. The scars on the underside of her wrists were more prominent than on the top and Harvey's face darkened as he lightly ran his finger over the ugly markings.

"They look worse than they feel," she lied, trying to reassure him.

"Donna…" he wasn't buying it, and she cursed that he could often read her as well as she could read him.

She pulled her hand from his grasp and stepped back from him once more.

"What else did he do to you?" he blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips with abandon. He was breathing more heavily, as though desperate for her answer but dreading her response.

"Harvey," she whispered, and she shook her head, her eyes glistening with tears.

Harvey pressed his lips together as a mixture of sadness and anger clouded his features. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" he faltered, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

Harvey's phone began to ring and the sudden loud chime of his ringtone made Donna jump. Harvey held his hand up as an apology as he reached inside his coat pocket for his phone.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this," he looked at her apologetically. Donna merely nodded in response and she lowered herself onto her couch while Harvey answered the call.

"Sean! Talk to me," he said with a nervous glance across to Donna. She looked away from him. It didn't surprise her that Sean Cahill was involved in whatever Harvey was concocting. He was a useful albeit reluctant ally to Harvey and she knew he trusted him.

"That's great, Sean. Thanks. Listen, I'm with Donna at the moment. Do you think you could call Mike and let him know? He's waiting for confirmation... I know… Of course… wouldn't dream of it...okay, well we can agree to disagree on that...Thanks, Sean, I'll call you as soon as I hear anything."

Harvey hung up the phone and placed it back in his inside pocket.

"Sean Cahill?" Donna raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me whatever you are planning is above board."

"Would Sean allow it any other way?"

"I don't know, Harvey. You can be very persuasive when you want to be," Donna retorted. Whatever Harvey was planning, it wasn't going to change her mind about what she needed to do, but the last thing she needed was Harvey being even more reckless than he had already been and causing further problems that would have to be solved.

"We're not doing anything illegal. I promise, okay?" Harvey assured her.

Before she had a chance to comment three loud knocks reverberated through her apartment. Donna took a sharp intake of breath and her eyes widened momentarily.

"It's probably Rachel," he said.

"Of course it is," she said with a half-smile, somewhat embarrassed at her initial reaction.

Harvey observed her with a furrowed brow and Donna hated the look of concern and sympathy that he cast in her direction. He made his way to her front door and no sooner had Donna heard it open than she heard the familiar and comforting tones of Rachel's voice.

Neither of them re-appeared straight away, but their hushed voices told Donna that she was no doubt being discussed and rather than call them out on it, she made her way into her kitchen and set about making some more tea.

"Hey!" Rachel appeared in the living room with an overly large smile on her face and a baguette in her hand. "Sorry, I took so long," she said.

Donna pointedly glanced at the kitchen clock and then back to Rachel. "Where did you go for the baguette? Paris?" she asked with her eyebrow quirked.

Rachel had the decency to blush slightly, but she gave a nonchalant shrug. "You know me, Donna. Not just any bakery will do," she said, sucking her teeth slightly as she began unpacking the grocery bag that Harvey had left on the coffee table. "Are you staying for dinner, Harvey?" she asked lightly without looking at either him or Donna.

Donna visibly paled and she immediately hid her face behind a cupboard door as she sought out a mug for her tea.

"Thank you, but no. I have some things I need to do. I'd best be on my way," he answered, his eyes fixed on Donna as he spoke. Rachel looked between the two of them and subtly shook her head to herself.

"I take it I won't be seeing my husband anytime soon then?" she asked with a sigh, but her tone held no malice, and she gave Harvey a warm smile.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. When this is all over and done with, I promise I'll make it up to you and Mike. How does a second honeymoon sound?"

"Well if you're paying, I'd say that sounds perfect." She batted her eyelashes at him and gave a little chuckle.

Harvey graced her with a half-smile, which soon disappeared from his lips when an awkward silence befell the room once again.

Rachel cleared her throat. "Right, well I'm just gonna go wash up before I start cooking. I'll see you soon, Harvey. Keep Mike out of any trouble, won't you?" she said almost nervously.

"Well, it's Mike… I can't promise!" He smirked.

Rachel rolled her eyes and with a quick glance back to Donna, who was feverishly dipping a tea bag into her mug over and over again, she left them to it.

Harvey took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. He watched Donna for a moment as she stared intently at the mug of tea that she was still brewing. He moved tentatively so that he stood next to her and slowly reached out his hand, placing it on top of hers, halting her movements.

"I think if you make that tea any stronger, you'll be able to stand your spoon up in it," he said softly.

Donna closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath. As much as she had dreaded his visit today, the thought of him leaving was more than she could bear.

"Hey!" he reached up his other hand to cup her cheek, and turn her face toward him. His touch soothed her, and she longed to grasp his hand and hold it there, pressed against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open but they shimmered with tears.

"Donna. I have to go now. I have to go and fix this, and I will fix it, I promise," he said earnestly as his eyes bored into hers.

She gave a quick nod, but said nothing. She didn't think she could find the words, not with the possibility that this could be the last time she would see him. She felt like she should say something. Something profound. She sensed that if she didn't, she would regret it later, much later. She'd regret not telling him how much he meant to her, how thankful she was for all that he had done for her, and how sorry she was that this is how their friendship would end. But she knew if she tried to find any of those words right now, she would just break down, and she needed to be strong. She needed to get through the next few days so that she could fight for him.

"When this is done, Donna. I'll be back, and we'll talk, okay?" He pressed his forehead against hers, just like he'd done those few days before. Donna choked back a sob and she willed herself to keep it together. She longed to tilt her head slightly and capture his lips one last time, to feel his warmth and the softness of his mouth on hers, to revel in the idea of him loving her, like she loved him. But she couldn't. It would destroy her fragile resolve, not to mention the fact that she had sworn to him that she would never do that again.

Harvey pulled away, but only slightly, and they locked eyes. Donna saw a flicker of something in the depths of those deep brown orbs. His pupils were dilated and his breathing had accelerated. He scanned her face, his gaze resting on her lips. Donna held her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. His jaw tightened and he lifted his other hand so that he could cradle her face.

"Donna." He whispered her name as though he was pleading with her and she realised then that he was at war with himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and expelled a shaky breath, before lifting his head and gently pressing his lips to her forehead. He let them linger there for a while, as his thumbs caressed her cheekbones. Donna closed her eyes and savoured the moment. Committing the feel of his lips against her, to memory.

"Take care, Donna," he whispered against her skin. "Don't be a difficult patient for Rachel, okay?" he said lightly, although his voice faltered slightly.

He then withdrew from her and Donna felt the air leave her lungs, as though he'd taken all the oxygen in the room with him. She kept her eyes closed until she heard the familiar sound of her front door closing.

She stood motionless, grateful that her kitchen counter was there to prop her up. Her eyes darted around the room almost frantically as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing and keep a lid on her emotions before Rachel returned to the room. She knew her friend would understand. Rachel was well aware of their situation and the way Donna felt about Harvey, but Donna didn't want or need comfort right now. She needed strength. She had a job to do and she needed to work out how to do it without Rachel finding out. She needed to leave her apartment and if she was an emotional wreck, there wouldn't be a chance in hell that Rachel would let her leave. Regardless of what lies or excuses she spun.

Rachel had obviously heard Harvey leave the apartment, for it was less than a minute later that she reappeared in the living room. Donna spun on her heel and tipped the over stewed tea into the sink, then reached instead for the bottle of vodka that was tucked at the back of her cupboard, purposely bypassing the bottle of Macallan that was next to it. She poured herself a swift measure and knocked it back in one go, savouring the burn as she leant the glass against her lips.

"That bad huh?" Rachel said softly as she joined Donna in the kitchen.

"No...it's just been quite a day."

"More like, quite a week!" Rachel said as she grabbed a shot glass and poured herself a measure, mimicking Donna by knocking it back in one gulp.

Donna lifted her eyebrows and snatched the bottle back with a wry smile. She poured them both another measure and held out her glass for Rachel to clink, which she did dutifully.

"Let's face it. It's been a shitty few months!" she said with a dramatic sigh.

"I'm not gonna argue with that," Rachel agreed, knocking her second shot back and wincing slightly at the harshness of the neat spirit. "Although, I did get married. That was pretty cool."

"Meh!" Donna shrugged, but there was a twinkle in her eye. Rachel giggled as they both placed their empty shot glasses on the counter.

Rachel reached out and touched Donna's arm, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Honestly, though. Are you okay?" she asked carefully, not wanting to lose the lightness of their conversation but keen to get a read on how Donna had coped with Harvey's visit.

Donna lifted her chin as she met Rachel's gaze, her armour in place. "I will be, Rachel." She smiled warmly, confident her inner turmoil was safely hidden away.

"Can I ask what happened?" Rachel dared to probe.

"You can, but I'm not ready to spill the beans just yet. I need a favour from you instead," Donna said, her lips pursed.

Rachel frowned slightly. "Oh?"

"I need to go out for an hour," she said quickly, drawing in a sharp breath as she did so.

Rachel's eyes widened. "What?"

"I won't be long, I promise," Donna added.

Rachel shook her head vehemently. "No, Donna. You need to rest. I promised Mike and Harvey that I would make sure you did exactly that," she said, hand now on her hip.

"And I will, I promise. There's just something I need to do first," Donna said, biting her lip.

"What could that possibly be?" Rachel asked, her brows snapped together.

"There's someone I need to see. I promise I won't be long and I'll be totally safe, I just need you to trust me on this and not say a word to anyone about it. Particularly Harvey or Mike," Donna pleaded. She knew it was a risk doing it this way, but she didn't have time to come up with a cover story that would be convincing enough for Rachel, and she just didn't want to lie to her friend.

"Donna!" Rachel cried out, exasperated. "What the hell does that mean? Now you're really worrying me. There's no way I can—"

"I swear to god, I'll be fine. It's no-one untoward or dangerous, I promise, but I can't tell you. Not yet, anyway. Please just trust me on this. I'm begging you."

Rachel stared at her friend open-mouthed, but her shoulders slumped and she let out a huge sigh. "He'll kill me if he finds out that I let you go out alone!" she said with a grimace.

"He won't know. I'll be back before dinner's ready and then I'm all yours. I'll even let you paint my toenails and you can tell me the backstory to Mike's latest hairstyle," she quipped with a slight smirk.

"This isn't funny, Donna." Rachel scowled.

Donna sighed and took hold of Rachel's hand. "Please, Rachel. I need to do this," she said somberly.

Rachel let out a huff and shook her head. "You will be the death of me, Donna Roberta Paulsen. You have one hour! If you're not back here by 7pm, I will call Harvey, Mike, Samantha, the police… hell, I'll even call Louis. Do you understand me?"

"Loud and clear!" she said and she leant over and kissed her friend on the cheek before pulling her in for a quick hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Hmmm," Rachel grumbled.

Donna then swiftly grabbed her coat and shoes and made a quick exit before Rachel had a chance to change her mind.

* * *

Paula closed the book she was reading and removed her reading glasses, placing them both on the coffee table in front of her. She stretched her arms up and gave a deep sigh.

The book hadn't helped calm her uneasiness as much as she'd hoped it would. The last 24 hours playing over and over in her mind.

Roman Karimov and his malevolent threats. The way he'd taunted her and her relationship with Harvey. The revelation about Donna kissing him. She gasped at that last thought, her hand flying up to her mouth as she tried to swallow down the sickening feeling she felt in her gut. It was her worst fear realised, and whilst she had been slightly comforted by Donna's assurance that the kiss was instigated solely by her, she couldn't help but be reminded of her past relationship and the pain she'd suffered from Jacob's betrayal. She's not sure she could bear it happening again.

She had debated visiting Donna, whether or not it was the right thing to do. It was a risk, but she felt that desperate times had called for desperate measures. Harvey's livelihood and freedom were under threat and she felt she needed to do something before he completely threw it all away. She knew that Donna loved him, and would, therefore, do anything to protect him. There was a part of her, buried deep, that still feared that Donna's love was reciprocated by Harvey, but she smothered those niggling doubts by constantly reminding herself that Harvey had come to her. He'd chosen her, he'd asked her to move in with him and share their life together. She had every right to do what she needed to do to protect him and their relationship. If that meant separating him from Donna, then so be it.

She stood up and took a deep breath. It felt strange being back in her old apartment. She'd grown accustomed to living with Harvey, and the fact that she was here, even if by her own choice, added to the sense of uneasiness she felt. She felt distant from him, now literally as well as emotionally.

She decided a bath might be a good idea. It might ease the tension she felt in her neck and shoulders.

As she strode towards her bathroom, her doorbell rang and she paused, looking at her clock with a frown. It was too late for an urgent appointment. Her heart then skipped a beat when it dawned on her who else might be paying her a visit.

She quickly marched to the front door and taking a deep breath, she swung it open with a nervous smile.

"Paula!"

"Donna!... What are you doing here?" Paula asked, looking more than a little shell shocked.

Donna swallowed and gave a tentative smile. "Can I come in?"

Paula hesitated before biting her lip, but then she nodded and stepped back allowing Donna to enter. "Of course," she said stiffly.

Donna stepped over the threshold and as soon as she was inside, she turned back around to face the other woman.

"How did you know I'd be here?" Paula asked curiously, after all she'd taken every opportunity to remind Donna that she now lived with Harvey.

Donna shrugged. "Let's just say that following our earlier conversation, I deduced that you would be here rather than at Harvey's," she answered.

Paula bristled slightly, but she kept a polite smile on her face. "What do you want, Donna?"

Donna tightened her grip on the handles of the bag on her shoulder and she took a deep breath.

"I made you a promise, Paula. A promise I intend to keep. But in order to carry out that promise, in order to protect Harvey, I need you to do something for me… and you're not going to like it!"


	20. Chapter 20

* * *

Rachel looked at her watch and bit her lip. It was already mid-morning, but she wondered whether it was still too early to go and stir Donna from her sleep. That was assuming Donna had actually had any sleep of course.

Despite her friend complaining the night before of her aching limbs and exhausted mind, the fact that Donna had retired for an early night hadn't fooled Rachel one iota. She should be pleased that Donna had finally seemed to heed Dr. Wynn's advice and tried to rest. However, Rachel suspected that the early night had more to do with Donna's attempts to avoid talking about anything that had transpired that day, let alone the last few weeks and months. Not that Rachel had pushed Donna for information at all. She'd purposefully resisted the temptation to press her friend for details, despite the fact that she'd been itching to find out not only what Harvey had said but also what the hell Paula Agard had wanted.

Donna had been a closed book though. She was keeping her cards close to her chest, seemingly determined to convince Rachel at every moment that she was fine, "all things considered," she'd say constantly with a timid smile. Rachel, however, had known her friend long enough to realise that behind the carefully constructed facade that Donna had built around herself, she was struggling immensely. Those smiles never reached her eyes and they always faded too fast. She seemed to have acquired a slight tremble to her hands and she rarely held eye contact for more than a few seconds, even in the moments that she knew Donna was trying her best to seem assertive and confident.

It was even worse when Harvey's name was mentioned, the pain achingly evident behind Donna's eyes. So much so that after an hour of small talk over dinner, Rachel had been tempted to make her excuses and run to the bathroom, purely so that she could call Harvey and give him hell for breaking his promise and upsetting her friend. However, having also witnessed the sadness that seemed to emanate from him when she'd returned yesterday, she suspected that the situation between them was much more complicated than that. As angry as she'd been with Harvey for the way that he'd treated Donna over the last few months, she didn't doubt how deeply he cared about her. In fact, she was fairly certain that he was in love with her.

She didn't dare voice any of these thoughts to Donna though. Rachel was in the dark regarding whatever words had transpired between them, and with Paula apparently still on the scene, and Harvey's inability to identify and acknowledge his own feelings, it would be far too dangerous a subject to proffer for discussion.

So she'd let her friend retire to bed early, even though she was well aware that sleep wouldn't come easily to her. How could it? The trauma she'd suffered, the injuries she'd sustained, both physically and emotionally were easily enough to keep her awake at night on their own. But it was this constant underlying heartache that seemed to inform Donna's every word, look, and gesture, that Rachel suspected was the prominent source of her friend's pain.

She decided that she would at least check on Donna again. She'd been quietly craning her neck around Donna's bedroom door every few hours throughout the night to reassure herself that Donna was okay. Every check up had been met with a breathing but motionless Donna, her back to the door. Rachel wasn't under any illusion that her friend had been sleeping on any of those occasions. She felt uncomfortable at the notion that Donna might have spent the whole night wide awake, alone with nothing but her tortured thoughts for company. If Donna still wasn't sleeping now, she would offer breakfast and then maybe suggest a movie or some trashy daytime TV. With any luck, if she didn't push her too hard, Donna might even let her defenses down a little and start to open up. She just needed to be patient with her.

As Rachel made her way towards Donna's bedroom she heard the sound of two soft knocks at the front door. She frowned slightly, not expecting anyone and mentally ticking off all the people that it could possibly be. Still perplexed as she reached the peephole, her frown deepened when she looked through and spied a rather nervous looking Paula on the other side of the door.

With an irritated sigh and a slight shake of her head, she unchained the door and opened it.

"Paula," she said with a fixed smile. "Donna is still sleeping at the moment, so I'm afraid whatever it is you want this time, it's going to have to wait," she added a little more brusquely than her usual polite self.

"It's okay, Rachel, I don't need to see her. I just came to give her this," Paula responded cooly, picking up on Rachel's slightly frosty greeting.

She held out a sealed white envelope and Rachel eyed it suspiciously, before slowly taking it from Paula's outstretched hand.

"What's this?" she asked with a frown.

"It's something for Donna. If you could give it to her when she wakes, I'd appreciate it."

Rachel's frown deepened as she turned the blank envelope over in her hand. "Something for Donna?"

"She's expecting it," Paula added.

Rachel raised her eyebrows but she nodded. "Okay. I'll see that she gets it."

"Thank you, Rachel." She turned to leave but hesitated, tucking her hair behind her hair as she looked up at Rachel nervously. "How is she?" she asked tentatively.

Rachel leant her shoulder against the doorframe and pursed her lips as she decided how best to respond. "Honestly? I'm really worried about her. She's in pain." Rachel didn't feel like elaborating anymore than that and she didn't think she needed to.

Paula nodded. "I hope she does seek out some counselling. She shouldn't try and work through what's happened to her, alone."

"She's not alone," Rachel retorted a little too quickly.

Paula flushed slightly and looked away. "I didn't mean—"

"I know what you meant, Paula, and I can assure you, Donna will get all the help, love and support that she needs."

Paula swallowed and responded to Rachel's words with a weak smile. "Of course she will. Well, I'd better be going, I'm already late for work. Goodbye, Rachel."

"Goodbye, Paula," Rachel reciprocated, smiling politely before closing the door on Paula's retreating form.

Rachel stood in the hallway of Donna's apartment and looked down at the envelope in her hand. She doubted that Paula had ever visited Donna before yesterday, and now in the space of 24 hours, she'd been here twice. Rachel sensed that whatever she had in her hand held something of importance. Paula visiting yesterday, Donna disappearing for an hour and now this. Rachel might not have the powers of observation that Donna possessed but she was far from stupid. Donna was up to something and the flicker of unease that Rachel felt told her that whatever it was, she probably wouldn't like it.

As she made her way back into the living room, she heard the sounds of the en-suite shower running. At least Donna was up and moving.

Rachel set about making some french toast, and as she sourced the ingredients from the kitchen, she steeled herself for a difficult conversation ahead. She really didn't want to push Donna, but her gut was telling her that something was amiss. She had been charged with keeping an eye on the fiery and often stubborn redhead, and she felt like she had not been doing a great job so far. Her charge had already absconded once and she had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be the last time.

"You're spoiling me, Rachel." Donna had appeared from her bedroom. She was dressed in a simple pair of denim jeans and a deep green cashmere sweater, her hair still wrapped in a towel.

"You need to eat. Did you think I hadn't noticed that you hardly touched your food last night?" Rachel said with a disapproving look.

"That's not true." Donna huffed. "Your paprika chicken was delicious. I ate plenty!"

"Pushing food around your plate does not constitute eating plenty."

"Rachel!" Donna warned. She sat herself down at her dining table with a heavy sigh.

"I'll make you a deal, Donna. You eat this delicious french toast with summer berries that I've just rustled up and I promise to stop nagging," Rachel said with a smirk as she placed the plate of breakfast down in front of Donna.

She winced inwardly though, when she noticed her friend pale slightly at the sight of the food. Her mock chastisement was replaced with genuine concern as she sat down next to Donna and reached out to her.

"Hey. Are you feeling okay?" she asked gently.

"I'm fine, Rachel. I just don't have much of an appetite at the moment."

Rachel's frown deepened with worry at her dismissive response. "Maybe we should go back to the hospital. Dr. Wynn said—"

"No, Rachel, please stop fussing," Donna interrupted with alarm. "I promise you, I don't need to see a doctor. I just… I have a lot on my mind."

Rachel nodded slowly and chewed the inside of her lip as she toyed with her own plate of food. "Care to share?" she dared to venture.

Donna looked away and she sighed, but she didn't answer her question. Rachel decided that she might as well push a little harder.

"Where did you go last night?" she asked, swiftly following her question with a fork full of french toast.

Donna leant back in her chair and eyed her friend warily. Rachel sensed that she was deciding how much to disclose, so once she swallowed her food, she pressed a little more.

"I'm not trying to pry, Donna. Honestly. But with everything that's happened, that _is_ happening you have to see why I'm concerned. You gave me the impression that it was urgent last night, and then when you came back, you said nothing." Rachel looked at her intently, her brown eyes full of concern.

Donna pursed her lips. "I went to see Paula," she said.

Rachel frowned, then she too leant back from the table and studied her friend's face, waiting for her to elaborate.

Instead, Donna picked up her fork and stabbed a blueberry before popping it into her mouth.

"Why?" Rachel pressed.

Donna let out a deep sigh. "She came here yesterday to tell me about Roman blackmailing Harvey..."

Rachel swallowed nervously. She hadn't realised that Donna had been made aware of the current situation with Roman and from the rigid look on Donna's face, her friend clearly wasn't too happy about being kept in the dark about it.

"...She also knows about the kiss," Donna continued. "So she wanted to talk to me about that too and, well, it got a little heated between us. After seeing Harvey later, I realised that I needed to settle things with Paula. I wanted to apologise." Donna looked down at her plate and toyed with a raspberry, no doubt in an attempt to avoid making any eye contact.

"So, you had to leave urgently for an hour last night, to go to Paula's, to what, apologise?" Rachel asked, her eyebrow quirked.

"Something like that, yes." Donna looked up then and held Rachel's skeptical gaze. She blinked a few times, and both women silently acknowledged the absence of the full truth in Donna's explanation.

"Well, you should know that Paula was back here again this morning," Rachel said as she stared at Donna, trying to gauge her reaction.

Donna didn't flinch. "Really? What did she want?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes, her tongue poking her cheek as she reached behind her and retrieved the white envelope from the breakfast counter. "She asked me how you were and she wanted me to give you this," she held it out over the dining table, momentarily keeping hold of it as Donna went to take it from her.

"Rachel?"

"Donna?" she mimicked, still holding on to it.

Donna cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. Rachel surrendered the envelope with a huff.

"Thank you," Donna said with a small smile. "If you must know, Paula offered to provide me with the names of a few therapists. You know, that specialize in PTSD. That's what this must be," she added, pointing to the envelope.

Rachel shrugged and picked up her fork again. "That was kind of her," she said with a slight smirk.

Donna nodded as she pushed her plate away, having hardly eaten anything. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I just can't face anything at the moment," she said.

"Okay. But you are going to have to try and eat something soon."

"I know, and I will. I promise," Donna said softly.

Rachel leant forward and placed her hand on Donna's knee. "Do you want to talk about Paula? You said she found out about the kiss, I take it she confronted you about it. That must have been awful for you."

"She did, and it was," Donna replied.

"I shouldn't have left you with her," Rachel said with a shake of her head.

"It's fine, Rachel. I'm glad it's out in the open. Harvey isn't hiding anything from her anymore. I've apologised. Maybe things can start to get back to normal now, once this Roman situation is dealt with," Donna said wistfully. The pain in her expression betrayed her words, showing the notion of it as absurd. Both women were acutely aware how unlikely that scenario was. Neither of them believed it for a second.

Donna stood from the table then, picking up the envelope. "I'm going to go and dry my hair, then I might give one of these therapists a call."

Rachel sighed but gave her friend a warm smile and a nod as she too stood and started to clear the plates away.

Donna paused at the doorway to her bedroom, feeling a little guilty at keeping her friend in the dark when she knew she was just trying to help her. "Thanks, Rach. For everything. I really do appreciate it."

"Anytime, Donna. I'm always here for you. You know that, right?"

"I do."

As Donna closed her bedroom door, she strode across the room to her bed and slumped down onto it, staring at the envelope in her hands. She opened it carefully and cast her eyes over the contents, her heart sinking as she read the words before her.

With trembling hands, she stuffed the paper back into the envelope and fell back onto the bed.

Donna sighed as she stared at her bedroom ceiling. She was exhausted. She hadn't slept at all, despite her early night. She had spent the whole night replaying recent events, in particular the last 24 hours.

She'd thought about her father. The mixed emotions that her recent visit had generated. Donna had been relieved to see that he was out of danger, but the cuts and bruises were a stark reminder of what he had suffered, not to mention the pain that had been evident behind his eyes. Pain and a deep sense of shame that no words of assurance from herself had managed to quell.

Then having arrived back at her apartment, Paula's visit had thrown her for a loop. She hadn't anticipated it, which was just another example of how her normal sixth sense and powers of intuition were definitely off-kilter. She hadn't seen it coming and as a consequence, she'd felt the impact of Paula's words more keenly. The woman had reminded her with a crushing sense of despair that even after everything that had taken place over the last few days, Donna's relationship with Harvey was over. But as much as she disliked the woman, she felt she couldn't argue with the things she'd said.

In the wake of Paula's visit, Donna had broken down. She'd let some of those pent up feelings of heartache and misery rise to the surface and in the midst of her suffering, Harvey had arrived.

It was Harvey that had played on her mind the most throughout the night. She pictured his face vividly. The frown, the worry, the sorrow...the pity. It was unbearable. Yet, as much as she despised the idea of him feeling sorry for her, that was nothing to the deep longing and yearning she still felt. She wished with every fibre of her being that she could just switch those feelings off. She felt crippled by her emotions, just at the point that she needed to focus.

It wasn't because her plan of action was complicated that she needed to focus. She was fairly confident that she could put right Harvey's current predicament, especially now that she had some ammunition. No, she needed to focus to get through the aftermath. To deal with the inevitable fallout.

She dragged herself up from her bed and sat herself down at her dressing table. Her reflection in the mirror did little to make her feel any better. She didn't just look as tired as she felt, her appearance was frail and sickly. Scratch that, she looked hollow! Like her soul was missing. Donna chuckled darkly to herself at that thought. How poetic. She was losing the man she'd regarded as her soulmate, and looking in the mirror now, the evidence of that fact was staring right back at her.

Regardless, she needed to garner what strength she had left and go fight for him one last time. As she steadfastly set about drying her hair and donning her warpaint, she began formulating a plan for escaping her apartment and Rachel's well-meaning but currently restrictive supervision.

By the time she was finished, her hair and makeup immaculate and her armour on, she had a strategy in place.

"Rachel!" she called out, as she looked herself up and down in the mirror one last time.

"Yeah?" Rachel answered. She appeared in Donna's doorway and instantly frowned as she took in Donna's appearance, noting that the redhead was dressed to go out. "Christ… not again, Donna. No!"

Donna swivelled round and gave Rachel her best-beaming smile. Rachel groaned.

* * *

**FCI Danbury**

**Visitation Room 4 (R4)**

"That's quite a story, Miss Wheeler. But you haven't given me any reason to trust you."

"Maybe, but considering your situation, what do you have to lose?" Samantha replied with a shrug.

Vinski Murati drummed his fingers on the table between them and he shook his head slightly. "Just because I'm holed up in here for at least four more years, doesn't mean I don't have anything to lose," he said guardedly. "Anyway, why have you come to me and not Nick Hasanov?" he asked suddenly.

Samantha smiled. "My colleague is speaking to Nick Hasanov right now. A few doors down the corridor, I believe."

"So you're trying to play us off of each other? That won't work. Nick and I are loyal to each other…"

_**Visitation Room 7 (R7)** _

" _...No, We're not trying to play you off against each other, Mr. Hasanov. We are offering both you and Mr. Murati the same deal," Mike said as he looked intently at the other inmate._

" _And why would you do that?"_

" _Because of all the reasons I have already given you. Roman Karimov set you up. He betrayed you as a means to usurp his brother—"_

" _Bullshit." Nick shook his head. "Our organisation was investigated, Vinski and I were prosecuted as a result, and that's all there is to it…"_

**Visitation Room 4 (R4)**

...Samantha huffed with irritation. "Look, we only have a limited amount of time here," she said with a wave of her hand. "So I'm going to explain it to you one last time. Roman betrayed his brother. He wanted control of the Karimov empire, and to do that he fed information to the FBI through your accountant, Glen Mathison. It was all a setup, the aim being to have Maxim taken down by the feds so that Roman could seize control."

Vinski paled. "Roman wouldn't do that to Maxim," he retorted, but some of his earlier confidence was gone.

"Wouldn't he? You know what Roman was like, how much he resented his older brother. You also know how reluctant he was to let go of the more illegal activities…"

_**Visitation Room 7 (R7)** _

_...Mike leant forward, his elbows resting on the table._

" _Maxim wanted to go completely legit, and the two members of his organization that fully supported his plans to cease all illegal operations were you and Vinski Murati. So is it any surprise that Roman chose you two to be his patsies?" he said earnestly. "He needed you out of the picture. You were Maxim's right-hand men, and your loyalty to him meant that you stood in Roman's way. He knew that you were a threat to him. You would oppose any attempt he made at supplanting his older brother. So he fed your names to the FBI using Glen Mathison, and here you both are. Rotting away in federal prison. Maxim is dead, Roman is running free and in charge of the business you helped Maxim build."_

_Nick Hasanov swallowed heavily and he narrowed his gaze as he studied Mike more closely._

" _Even if what you are claiming is true, what makes you think we know anything…?"_

**Visitation Room 4 (R4)**

… "Because not only were you second in command to Maxim, you also reported to Roman. I know you have the information that we need," Samantha replied.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But if you really aren't trying to play Nick and I off of each other, why come to both of us?" Vinski questioned, clearly suspicious of the deal that Samantha was offering.

Samantha smirked. "You might have been trying to go legit, Mr. Murati, but you and Nick Hasanov were still members of an organised criminal gang. We need to make sure that any information you give is not bullshit. By seeing you both at the same time, you each get to corroborate what the other is saying, before you get a chance to talk to each other about it…"

_**Visitation Room 7 (R7)** _

" _... That means the deal that is on the table right now, is only there for.." Mike checked his watch. "Thirty more minutes. You give us the information and the location we have asked for, we sign this deal and providing it yields what the Fed's are looking for, both you and Vinski Murati get early parole. But if you don't agree to this deal now, once you leave this room, it's off the table."_

_Nick Hasanov crossed his hands and lifted them up to his chin as he pondered on Mike's words._

_Mike said nothing. His heart was pounding. This had always been a risk. They had no guarantees that Hasanov or Murati knew anything. It had been another one of Harvey's hunches, but as the hour ticked on, despite his nerves, Mike was beginning to think that Harvey had done it again. There was a flicker in Nick Hasanov's expression when Mike had presented him with the facts. He was growing more confident by the second that these two men, previously loyal to Maxim Karimov, did know something and that the information they possessed held the key that might unlock this final problem for them..._

**Visitation Room 4 (R4)**

...Vinski Murati smirked as he held Samantha's gaze. He'd resumed drumming his fingers on the table, the sound of which was the only noise in the room.

"Okay, Miss Wheeler. You've got yourself a deal…"

_**Visitation Room 7 (R7)** _

… " _Alright. I'll take your deal!"_

* * *

Donna stood on the steps of the FBI field office at Federal Plaza, in the civic center neighborhood of Manhattan. She'd been there for a few minutes now, her nerves having caught up with her, causing her to pause for a moment.

She clutched her Gucci dome satchel bag tightly and took a deep breath. She could do this. She had to do this.

Climbing the last few steps, she pushed through the swivel door and marched straight up to the reception desk.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

"Yes, I'd like to speak to Special Agents Gutierrez and Wade please," she said assertively.

"Do you have an appointment?" the officer looked her up and down.

"No, but it's imperative I speak with them."

He hesitated before looking back to his screen and tapping his keyboard. "I'll see if they're here." He picked up the phone and began punching in an extension. "What's your name and what's this about?"

"Donna Paulsen and it concerns Roman Karimov," Donna answered.

The officer nodded. "Hey, Dom. There's a lady here to see you, Donna Paulsen?... she says it's important…. Yep… Roman Karimov… okay. I'll tell her." He hung up the phone and pointed to the bench against the wall.

"Take a seat, he'll be down in a minute."

Donna nodded and did what he instructed. As she sat, nervously tapping her foot on the floor and clutching her bag to her lap, she gazed out onto the foyer of the building. She wasn't looking at anything or anyone in particular, her eyes sliding out of focus as she tried to steady her rapidly beating heart and compose herself. She'd run through everything she planned to say several times on the taxi ride here, if she thought about it anymore she ran the risk of messing it up. Practice might make perfect, but in her experience over practice often had the opposite effect.

However, when she wasn't focussing on what she was about to do, all of her other torturous thoughts pushed to the forefront of her mind. Images of Harvey, Paula, Roman, her father, Samuel… yeah, that was going to help either. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Miss Paulsen?"

Her eyes snapped open. A dark-haired man wearing a lanyard was standing over her. He wore an inexpensive suit but a warm smile.

"Yes," she answered.

"I'm Agent Dominic Gutierrez." He held out his hand, and she stood swiftly, taking his hand and shaking it. "I understand you wanted to talk to me," he added.

" _Need_ to talk to you," she corrected.

"Okay then. Shall we?" He held his arm out, indicating that she should follow him.

Within a few minutes, she found herself situated in an interview room. Agent Gutierrez placed a cup of water in front of her before pulling out a chair and sitting across from her. He had a notepad and pen which he placed on the table.

"Where's Agent Wade?" she asked.

"He's not available at the moment, but you can still talk to me." He picked up his pen and tapped it on the table as he smiled at her. "Now, what did you _need_ to talk to me about."

Donna took a deep breath, pursing her lips as she slowly exhaled in a bid to calm her nerves.

"Okay, I've come here to tell you that Harvey Specter did _not_ shoot Samuel Lang… I did."

She let the statement hang in the air for a moment. Agent Gutierrez didn't move or react, except for a slight quirk of an eyebrow. Donna swallowed as she eyed the man before her more closely, studying his reaction.

His lips then twitched slightly before he dropped the pen he'd been holding onto the table, and leant back in his chair.

"You shot Samuel Lang," he repeated.

"Yes."

"That's not what Harvey Specter claims."

"Harvey is mistaken."

"It's kind of hard to get something like that wrong," Gutierrez said with a tilt of his head.

"Yes, well, he did."

Gutierraz crossed his arms and poked his tongue between his teeth as he tried to get the measure of the woman in front him.

"You do realize that by coming here and telling me this, you are basically claiming that Harvey made a false statement, and that's a federal crime."

Donna placed her arms on the table and crossed her hands. "Not exactly," she responded cryptically.

"Oh?"

"The statement Harvey gave is incorrect, yes, but that wasn't his fault."

"Wasn't his fault?" Gutierrez looked at Donna incredulously.

"Harvey believed that he had killed Samuel, but he was mistaken. The events of that day were highly traumatic, Agent Gutierrez. My life was threatened on more than one occasion, as was Harvey's. We witnessed the murders of Maxim Karimov and his bodyguard, and then when I shot Samuel in self-defense, I believe it triggered a mental block in Harvey's memory."

Gutierrez chuckled then and shook his head as he uncrossed his arms and leant forward. "Miss Paulsen—"

"I believe the term is called associative false memory activation or something like that, triggered by PTSD," she added, not flinching at his reaction whatsoever.

Gutierrez continued to shake his head and he opened his mouth to respond, but Donna beat him to it.

"Let's cut to the chase, shall we, Agent Gutierrez. You and I both know that I did this. I read it on your face the minute I suggested Harvey wasn't the one to pull that trigger. You knew it then, and you know it now. The only reason that you haven't disputed Harvey's version of events before now, is because you want him to testify against Roman and you're using the suggestion that he knowingly made a false statement as leverage against him."

Gutierrez lifted an eyebrow. "We have cut a deal with Harvey, Miss Paulsen. A deal that will see Roman prosecuted for what he's done. Don't you want that?"

"Of course I do, but not at Harvey's expense. Roman is threatening him. He has video footage of me shooting Samuel."

Gutierrez's eyes widened and his jaw went rigid. "What?" he snapped.

"You heard me. He's demanding that when Harvey is placed on the stand, he perjures himself, by pinning the blame on Maxim so that he can get off scot-free."

"Son of a bitch!" Gutierrez moved to stand, but Donna held her hand out to pause his movements.

"Wait, I'm not finished. Harvey is currently working on an alternative to get him out of this situation, and I hope and believe that he will come through…" she hesitated then as she saw a look flash across the agent's face. "You know about it, don't you? Whatever it is that Harvey is planning?"

Gutierrez bit his lip as he contemplated how much he should reveal. "The reason Agent Wade isn't here, is because he's following up on a lead courtesy of Harvey and Sean Cahill. However, we understood that Harvey was just going out of his way to strengthen the case against Roman. We didn't know he was trying to dig himself out of a fucking hole!"

"He's doing both!" Donna argued back, her heart pounding as she realised this was it. This was the point of no return. If she couldn't convince Gutierrez now, the game was over. "Harvey will come through with this lead, I know it. But regardless, I will not let him perjure himself if it doesn't work. Harvey wants to see Roman punished just as much as we do, but he's racked with guilt over what happened to me, and if this plan of his doesn't work, I fear that he will do what Roman is asking. So I need to remove the threat that Roman has over him. I need to remove that video. If it's already on record that I pulled the trigger then Roman has nothing. I need you to take my statement and discount Harvey's on the grounds that he gave it whilst suffering from diminished responsibility."

Agent Gutierrez was also breathing rapidly as he listened to Donna's words. He shook his head though at her request. "It's not as simple as that, Miss Paulsen. We can't just disregard a written statement on your hypothesis. We can't ignore his admission on your say so!"

Donna reached for her bag then and removed the blank envelope that Paula had delivered that morning. She pushed it across the table towards Gutierrez.

"It's not just on my say so. That is a written statement from a qualified psychiatrist, confirming that Harvey Specter was diagnosed with PTSD following the attack at the Beaufort club. It clearly states that he suffered a memory displacement as a result of the PTSD, and that any statement given to the police or the FBI in the days that followed should be wholly disregarded."

Gutierrez picked up the envelope and frowned before looking back at Donna. "I am aware that Harvey's girlfriend is a psychiatrist, Miss Paulsen. A statement from her holds no merit whatsoever."

Donna smiled at Guiterrez as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sure Dr. Agard would be most offended that you would question her professional integrity like that. But rest assured that letter is not written by her, but by a colleague of hers. When she realised how deeply disturbed Harvey had been by everything that had happened, she asked her colleague if he would see Harvey as a favour to her." Donna lifted her chin and stared intently back at him.

Gutierrez opened the envelope and removed the statement, casting his eyes across the written words and the signature at the bottom.

"The fact that you have this statement, breaches all kinds of confidentiality clauses. It tells me this is a crock of shit," he said with a huff.

"Does it matter how I obtained that? This solves both of our problems, Agent Gutierrez. This enables you to accept my statement as the true version of events, disregard Harvey's admission without any further comeback, and it removes Roman's threat over him."

Gutierrez bit his lip as he once again studied the statement. He glanced up at Donna and frowned. "Harvey Specter sees himself as one of the best lawyers in New York. He's cocky and arrogant." He waved the paper at Donna. "I guarantee you, he is not going to be happy about this. In fact, I'd go as far to say, he's going to go apeshit. Questioning his mental health and his ability to make a sound judgement? He won't forgive you for this."

Donna lowered her eyes to the paper in his hand before looking up and meeting Agent Gutierrez questioning gaze. A sadness clouded her features. "I know," she said softly.

Agent Gutierrez nodded slowly. "Okay. I need to take a formal statement from you. I can't promise though, that you won't be charged. I know you maintain that you acted in self-defense, but the U.S attorney may wish to pursue this matter further."

"I know," Donna said as she closed her eyes and swallowed heavily. Relief and sadness flooding her veins, simultaneously.

* * *

The gates of Danbury prison buzzed open and Mike and Samantha strode out into the sunlight both wearing a look of self satisfaction.

"How did it go?" Harvey asked as he leant against the back door of his black Lexus.

Mike walked up to his friend and grinned. "Like a dream, they both took the deal."

"Did they both tell the same story?"

"Yep, and gave the same location. You were right, Harvey. He did it."

"Of course I was right, when am I not?" he said with a scoff.

"Such a dick!" Samantha mumbled.

Harvey smirked. "So, did you call Cahill straight away and let him know?"

"No, we spoke to Agent Wade. The FBI are already on their way. We'll know soon enough."

"Good. Let's go grab a bite to eat before we pay Karimov a visit," Harvey said as he opened the door.

Samantha paused before she climbed into the car, her phone buzzing in her pocket. She took it out and frowned when she saw the name on the screen.

"It's Agent Gutierrez," she said.

"Isn't that a bit too soon? They can't have got to the location yet," Mike commented, looking confused.

Samantha swiped the phone and held it to her ear. "Agent Gutierrez. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon." Her frown deepened as she listened to the voice on the other end. Her eyes then flew up to Harvey's face and her lips tightened in a thin line.

Harvey knew then that something was wrong. "What?" His features hardened as he took in her dismayed expression. "What, Samantha? What's happened?"

"Okay, I'll tell him. Let us know when you hear back from the field agents," she said, avoiding Harvey's penetrating stare as she hung up the call.

"Tell me what, Samantha? What the fuck has happened?"

"Harvey…" She paused as she tried to find the right words. "Donna just handed herself in to the FBI. She's confessed to killing Samuel."


	21. Chapter 21

* * *

Being a corporate lawyer in New York was not a job for the faint-hearted or weak-willed. To service some of the biggest corporations you had to deal with some of the biggest names in the world, and with that, some of the biggest egos.

Money, lots of money, meant power. It also tended to go hand in hand with an indulgence in eccentric behaviour.

In the nearly twenty years that Louis Litt had worked as a corporate lawyer, he was pretty sure he'd seen and heard everything. As well as the normal mergers and acquisitions, hostile takeovers, bankruptcies and liquidations he'd also had to handle some of the most difficult clients with the most bizarre needs. He might have a reputation within the firm for somewhat histrionic and bordering on unprofessional behaviour, but when it came to his clients, he was not only a pit bull, he was also discreet and unfazed by anything they threw at him.

Until today.

Today his client had sat in front of him and told him a tale that made his pulse race, his palms sweat and his throat run dry. He'd never felt like this before. Not when Penny Marconi called him up in a panic after her husband had been arrested for punching the incumbent mayor at a party she'd hosted, or when Lucas Hoye had listed 80% of the shares he owned in his father's winery, on eBay for $1 after losing a bet with his frat mates. Hell, he wasn't this fazed when Didi Cummings insisted he facilitate the purchase and transportation of a giraffe for her daughter's private zoo. He'd handled all of those situations unperturbed and with equanimity.

This was different. His heart was racing, not because of the situation at hand but because of the client that had brought it to him. She sat staring at him with wide eyes and a look of genuine concern.

"Louis? Are you okay?... talk to me."

Louis nodded slowly and he placed his palms on his desk, taking a deep breath before answering her question.

"So… Let me get this right. The guy that you invited to the wedding as your plus one, was actually in league with Charles Forstman and an organised criminal gang headed up by the Karimov Brothers. He kidnapped you, arranged to have your father almost killed and then threatened you, Harvey and Mike. You witnessed him murdering the elder of the Karimov brothers, you then shot him in self-defense, killing him, then Harvey confessed to that shooting, but you have now turned yourself into the FBI and have provided fabricated evidence to show that Harvey only confessed because he'd lost his mind."

"I think that pretty much covers it, yeah."

"Jesus Christ, Donna. Are you sure that's all?"

"Isn't that enough?" she replied with a timid smile.

Louis shook his head as he tried to digest her fantastical story. He knew that something serious had happened. He'd suspected as much the moment Donna left so abruptly from the wedding. Then, when she'd taken emergency leave, followed not long after by the absence of both Harvey and Samantha, he'd immediately taken to locking horns daily with Robert, trying to ascertain what the fuck was going on.

"Why did no-one fill me in on what the hell was happening?" he said, the hurt clearly evident in his features.

"Louis, there was nothing you could have done at the time. The less people involved, the safer for everyone."

"You mean you didn't think I could handle it," he said, quickly nodding, his eyes filling with unshed tears.

"Louis, that's not true. I went to Samantha because I needed someone who not only had an extensive network of investigators, but who would also be prepared to skirt around the law if required," she said gently.

"And you couldn't go to Harvey because of how things were between the two of you," he all but whispered.

Donna swallowed and nodded slowly in response. Her expression was full of sorrow.

"You still haven't told me what happened between the two of you. Apparently, you weren't able to trust me with that either," Louis added. He didn't say it with any malice, just a deep sense of sadness.

Donna pursed her lips and closed her eyes before speaking. "I kissed Harvey. He was with Paula, and I kissed him and he… he got really, really mad about it."

Louis's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "Oh my god."

Donna continued. "That's what happened, Louis. And you're right. I should have told you. You were there for me throughout that whole period and I should have talked to you about it. You are a wonderful friend to me, Louis, and I'm sorry."

Louis's bottom lip wobbled and he nodded again, looking away slightly. "I could have helped, you know. With the blackmail—"

"I promise you, there is nothing you could have done. But I _do_ need you now, Louis. It's why I'm here, asking for your help."

Louis looked back at Donna then, and he straightened in his chair, crossing his hands in front of him. "You want me to represent you?" he asked, his tone serious.

"Yes. There is every chance that I might be charged with third-degree or even second-degree murder."

Louis paled, and he swallowed nervously as he took a moment to digest that frightening possibility.

"Why me, Donna?" Once again he spoke without any petulance, but with genuine curiosity. He knew that Donna valued him as a friend and cared for him deeply, but with the exception of a financial matter, there were several attorney's he'd assumed she would have turned to before him.

Donna tilted her head slightly as she mustered the right words. "Harvey can't represent me, for obvious reasons. Samantha is already assigned as his attorney which would cause a conflict of interest. I could ask Mike, Rachel, or Robert, but honestly, I want you. I trust you, Louis. I trust that you will fight for me if needed, and that you will leave no stone unturned, and you'll do so without ever compromising the law." She paused as she took in Louis's expression. He was blinking rapidly, the emotion clearly evident on his face as he listened to her words. "I need you," she added firmly.

He nodded solemnly. "Then I am, of course, at your service… I am yours to command, M'lady" he said with a quiver to his voice.

Donna smiled warmly at him. "Thank you, Louis."

She stood up to leave, straightening down her skirt and leaning over to pick up her handbag.

"Where are you going?" Louis asked with a startled frown.

"I have a train to catch. I'm going to go and visit both my parents. My Dad is still in hospital and I've been avoiding my Mom all week. It's time to face the music," she said with a light chuckle.

"You'll do no such thing. You're not done here. I need you to run through everything with me again but this time I need all the details. So sit your ass the fuck down," Louis snapped, in that typical Louis way.

"Louis!"

"I mean it, Donna. If I'm going to represent you I need to know everything, so your parents are going to have to goddamn wait. You can skype them in an hour when we take a ten-minute prunie break. Now sit!"

"What happened to you being mine to command?" Donna said, hand on her hip.

"Lawyer talk," he retorted.

"I don't think any other lawyer talks like that, Louis." Donna quirked an eyebrow.

"Of course they don't. Other lawyers don't have the wit, power, charisma, and intelligence of Louis Litt. Now sit."

Donna bit her lip, hiding the smirk that had crept on her face. She sat herself down though, placing her bag back on the floor.

Louis watched her with a sense of relief. Throughout the whole time that Donna had been in his office, recounting the horrific events of the last week, he had been struck most by how altered she had seemed. Yes, the sequence of events that she had chronicled had been shocking, but what had disturbed him the most was her general countenance. Her spark was gone. Her usual spirit and energy was lacking. There was no essence of 'Donna'. It was as though he was looking at an imperfect copy, a mere shell of his normally bright and bold, treasured friend. Having heard her sorry tale, of course he'd acknowledged and understood that she had suffered immeasurably. He didn't doubt that her ordeal would have mentally scarred her, yet he still sensed that her current demeanor wasn't solely down to her kidnapping and the trauma she had suffered at the hands of Samuel Lang. If anything, as he took in her haunted expression and the smile that failed to reach her eyes, he was reminded instead of how she had looked in those last few weeks before Mike and Rachel's wedding.

Louis opened his desk drawer and took out his dictaphone, switching it on and placing it between them.

"Okay, Donna. Start again from the beginning."

* * *

"You know, you're gonna wear a hole in the floor, if you keep pacing like that."

Harvey halted and threw a ferocious look at Samantha, his eyes blazing with fury. She instantly threw her hands up in surrender, not wishing to poke the bear any further. The last hour had been tumultuous enough. She'd spent most of the time trying to pacify Harvey as best she could, having to actually step in between the man in question and his boy wonder on one occasion when the situation almost came to physical blows.

The moment she had relayed the news Gutierrez had given her, all hell had broken loose. Harvey had been incensed. He'd ranted and raved at her, demanding to know what the hell Donna had done exactly, and when Samantha couldn't give him any further answers, having only had a brief update from the FBI, he had turned that rage on Mike.

He'd insisted that the three of them go straight to the FBI field office in Manhattan and he'd ordered Mike to back up his story again in a bid to dismiss and counteract whatever Donna had gone in there and said.

Only this time, Mike had refused. As far as he was concerned, the damage was done. Yes, they needed to speak to Gutierrez and find out where they all stood, but there was no point trying to fight Donna's actions. The cat was out of the bag, the truth had been outed, they just needed to move on from it and come up with a plan to ensure she was exonerated from any possible charges.

That was the point that Harvey had almost swung for Mike. Samantha suspected that he'd realised with a spike of fear that the situation was likely out of his control, and his wingman had abandoned him. She'd tried to placate him, assuring him that they would speak with Gutierrez. They would deal with it, but the sense of betrayal was etched into his features. Mike sensed it too, and he'd wisely decided that it would be best if just Harvey and Samantha went to the FBI. His former mentor was bubbling with anger and hurt, and Mike determined a bit of space between them might be the best course of action. He'd feigned needing to visit Cahill, in order to disclose what they'd really done with the funds laundered for the Karimov's, and so, they'd parted ways in the grounds outside Danbury prison.

Harvey had seethed in the car, all the way to Federal Plaza. His fists had been clenched, knuckles white, his knee bouncing impatiently as Ray weaved his way through New York traffic. She'd tried to venture a few words to ease some of the tension in the car, but he'd bitten her head off both times. As tempted as she'd been to slap him back down, she'd refrained. In this circumstance, he wasn't her managing partner, he was her client, and she needed to handle him carefully.

They'd been waiting to see Gutierrez for only about ten minutes. The Special agent had been busy on a call when they'd arrived, no doubt trying to coordinate with his partner and team over the intelligence they'd obtained from Murati and Hasanov. She desperately hoped that the information they'd provided, produced the result they wanted, and watching Harvey now, she also hoped that it happened very soon. They needed it if they had any chance of solving this shit fest.

"Harvey, when he gets here, I need you to let me do the talking."

"No way," Harvey snapped.

Samantha huffed with frustration. "You know how this works. I understand that you are angry but Mike was right, the damage has been done. I need to establish exactly what she has told them to see how it implicates you, and you can scowl at me all you like, but you know I'm right."

"I don't give a fuck how it implicates me. I just need to undo whatever it is she's done."

"Well it's a good thing that I'm here then, because as your attorney, I need to protect your interests. Until we know exactly what's in her statement, anything you say could have severe consequences for you both. So, you need to keep that smart mouth of yours shut and let me handle this."

Harvey stopped pacing and his head dropped. He glared at Samantha, his jaw clenched, but he gave her a subtle nod. Samantha didn't doubt though, that while he had reluctantly agreed to her argument, she would need to keep him on a tight leash. His mood suggested that one wrong word and all reason would go straight out the window.

The door to the interview room opened and Agent Gutierrez stepped through. He glanced between the two lawyers and gave a nod of acknowledgement. He pulled out a chair to sit down, indicating that they should do the same.

"Thank you for coming in so quickly. This won't take long I promise," Agent Gutierrez flashed a brief smile before placing a manila folder on to the table.

"Is there any news from Agent Wade?" Samantha asked, eager to establish any developments before tackling the issue at hand.

"He's confirmed that they're on site. We should hear something soon," Gutierrez affirmed.

Harvey had started drumming his fingers on the table to no doubt demonstrate his impatience. Agent Gutierrez observed his body language and opened the folder in front of him, with a wry smile.

"Mr. Specter, I've no doubt that Miss Wheeler has informed you of the recent change of circumstances regarding your case."

Harvey just glared at the FBI agent as Samantha cleared her throat to speak. "I relayed your message that Donna Paulsen came in today and gave a statement that contradicted the one my client made to you, yes," she replied calmly.

Harvey's fists clenched and Samantha was aware that he was breathing more heavily. Thankfully, he still said nothing.

"Yes, she did," Gutierrez said. "She has declared to us that she was the one to kill Samuel Lang and apparently there is video evidence from the club to back this up," he added, eyeing Harvey carefully as he did so.

Harvey's eyes widened and a look of fear crossed his face.

"We haven't seen any video evidence," Samantha quickly asserted.

"No, but you were aware of its existence."

Silence fell in the room. Harvey's knuckles were now white and he grimaced as he watched Gutierrez command the room.

Gutierrez leant forward from his chair and narrowed his eyes at Harvey. "Look, Harvey, let's not waste anymore of each other's time. I know about Roman blackmailing you. I know that the current operation that my partner is overseeing in New Jersey is your strategy for getting out of that blackmail. I also know that if that plan comes to nothing, and our agents find nothing, you plan on perjuring yourself on the stand…"

Samantha opened her mouth to protest but Gutierrez lifted his hand up to halt her.

"I'm not recording this conversation, Miss Wheeler. This is just me, laying the cards on the table, as I see them." He turned back to Harvey. "You want to desperately clear Miss Paulsen and shine the light of scrutiny away from her, and back on to you. Well, I can't give you that, I'm afraid. Whatever you have come here to say or do to try and undermine the statement she gave will not work."

"Is that so?" Harvey said, his tone low and dangerously calm. Samantha sensed that he was a pressure cooker about to go off.

"We all know that she did it, Harvey," Gutierrez continued. "You know that I suspected as much, last time we sat in a room, just like this one. It's the reason that I made that deal with you. Well, we can't continue anymore under those false pretenses."

"Are you saying you are taking the deal off the table and you plan on charging my client for making a false statement?" Samantha interjected.

"No, Miss Wheeler. I am not."

Samantha frowned. "Then what are you saying?"

Gutierrez sighed as he took in the hostile and highly stressed form of Harvey Specter. He looked down at the file before him, before looking back at Samantha and then across to Harvey.

"We are satisfied that Miss Paulsen's statement is true, and correctly depicts the events at The Beaufort Club. We also expect that if any video evidence does come to light, it will support the chain of events that she described. Unfortunately, I cannot promise that Miss Paulsen will come out of this unscathed. She may be prosecuted. However, thanks to additional evidence that she supplied, we are satisfied that you did not _knowingly_ give a false statement and as such, we will not be pursuing any criminal charges against you."

The colour drained from Harvey's face. "What?" he said as he sat up straight from his chair.

"What additional evidence?" Samantha asked, also alarmed.

Gutierrez bit the inside of his cheek and seemed to consider his next words carefully. "Let's just say that she provided documentation that questioned not only the validity of your statement, but also explained the reasons why you might have been mistaken in your recollection of events."

"What the fuck? What documentation?" Harvey bellowed.

"Harvey!" Samantha warned. Harvey was now red in the face, his features had hardened and he was glaring at Gutierrez. She lay a hand on his arm, casually reminding him that she would take care of this.

"If you have documentational evidence pertaining to my client, I insist that you disclose it," Samantha said. Whatever the FBI had that had made them satisfied to overlook any illegal wrongdoings on Harvey's part, they needed to see it. Firstly, she needed to make sure that whatever this document was didn't bite them in the ass further down the line. Secondly, if it was provided by Donna, it could have serious implications in her own defense case. Finally, Samantha knew that Harvey would not leave this room until he'd seen it.

Gutierrez sighed and he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It gets you off the hook, okay? That's all you need to know."

"Bullshit! Show us the document...now!" Harvey glowered at the other man.

Gutierrez hesitated as he glanced once again between the two lawyers. Harvey clearly wasn't going to take no for an answer and Samantha merely tilted her head at him, silently communicating to him that he must surrender the document. He reached into the file and removed a white piece of paper, which he turned over and pushed across the table towards them.

Harvey snatched it up and began scanning his eyes across the words. His expression morphed from confusion, to consternation and he visibly paled. His mouth fell open and his eyes snapped back up to meet the resigned look of Gutierrez, as Samantha took the letter from him so that she too could read its contents.

"As you can see, Harvey, Dr. Beck is definitive in his diagnosis. Following your consultation with him, he makes it quite clear that he is confident in his assessment that you suffered the aftereffect of PTSD and you were therefore in no fit mental state to make that statement. We have therefore stricken it from the record."

"Who the fuck is Dr. B—"

"Can I have a moment with my client, Agent Gutierrez?" Samantha interrupted in an urgent bid to silence Harvey.

Harvey was shaking. He was glaring at Gutierrez, who in turn expelled a frustrated sigh at the lawyer's stubborn resistance. He leant forward and met Harvey's angry stare.

"Look pal, I'm being more than patient here because I know what you've all got caught up in and I accept that it's most likely through no fault of your own, but I've only got so much patience. Get your stories straight and let me go after the real bad guys, and don't let your ass spite your face. Take the out, Harvey!"

Harvey didn't budge, nor did he stop glaring at the FBI agent. Gutierrez shook his head and he looked back at Samantha.

"I'll give you a minute, Miss Wheeler. I need to check and see if there is any news from Agent Wade. Talk some sense into your client, will you?" he said as he gave her a knowing look and pushed himself out of his chair.

No sooner had he closed the door to the interview room than Harvey rounded on Samantha.

"What the fuck is this? This is utter bullshit. I don't know a Dr. Beck, and as far as I'm—"

"Of course it's bullshit, Harvey! I've no doubt Gutierrez knows it's bullshit too, but however Donna came by this document, it's on the record now so we just have to go with it," Samantha said in a hushed tone.

"Like hell we do!" Harvey flew out of his chair and began pacing the room again.

"Harvey! Just stop and think about this for one second will you?" Samantha snapped, her patience wearing thin. "Donna confessed. I know you hate it, but she's done it and you're just going to have to accept it. Gutierrez is right, you are not going to protect her by calling this document out as bullshit. You are just going to get her into even more trouble. If you state on the record that you've never even met a Dr. Beck, you immediately throw doubt on this document. Falsified evidence, Harvey! That guarantees she'll be in a whole load of shit, not to mention this Dr. Beck too, whom I can only assume is a friend of hers."

Harvey halted his movements and his eyes flashed up to meet Samantha's. She noticed a look of realisation befall his face. Instinct told her that it wasn't realisation at her words, but something else entirely that had seemingly occurred to him.

"What did you just say?" he asked, eyes wide.

She opened her mouth to respond but didn't get the chance as the door opened and Agent Gutierrez stepped back into the room. Samantha began to object at his premature return, but he held his hand up to halt her protestations.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought that you would want to know." He paused slightly and smiled. "Agent Wade has just called me. It looks like we won't need that deal with you after all, Harvey. You're off the hook. Your hunch was right and the information Murati and Hasanov came up trumps… They've just found a body."

Samantha took a deep breath. "Any I.D?"

Gutierrez nodded. "Yep. It's Glen Mathison."

* * *

Rachel had been pacing back and forth in Donna's living room for more than an hour. She was nervous. Nervous and worried.

She'd allowed herself to be cajoled again into letting Donna leave the apartment despite her conscience screaming at her to say no. She's sure if she had insisted, begged, hell, even shed tears, she could have stopped Donna from leaving.

However, she'd ignored her conscience, she'd dismissed the nagging voices of both Mike and Harvey in her ear, warning her that there would be hell to pay. She'd ignored them because her gut had told her something else. Her instincts had told her that Donna knew what she was doing. Call it fate, call it intuition, whatever it was, Rachel had a deep sense that if it was meant to be, it would be. Things would come right in the end. They had to. After everything that they'd been through and survived recently, she'd had this intrinsic belief that all would be okay.

Except, that was how she'd felt several hours ago when she'd reluctantly closed the front door on Donna's retreating form. Now, she wasn't so sure. Doubt had crept in. Donna had been gone too long. Much longer than she'd inferred she would be, although with a grimace, Rachel realised that Donna had never said, exactly how long she would be.

Rachel's previous optimism had been brushed aside by a sinking sense of apprehension and concern. Donna clearly had a plan, and whatever it was, Rachel was now sure that her friend had purposely kept her in the dark, because she expected her to put a stop to it. That didn't bode well at all. Rachel also suspected that whatever Donna was planning involved that envelope that Paula had delivered. She was sorely tempted to call Paula and demand she spill about the contents. Except she realised with frustration, that she didn't have Paula's number. She'd consciously never entered it into her phone, even when both Mike and Harvey had sent it to her, feeling in some way that it would be a betrayal to Donna if she had.

She looked up at the clock again and winced. Four hours. Donna had been gone for four hours, without any contact. Rachel had tried calling her several times, but every call had gone straight to voicemail. Donna's phone was off. Another deliberate move, no doubt.

Suddenly, two loud knocks reverberated around the apartment. Rachel jumped and then froze momentarily. Her immediate thought was that it would be Harvey, and her heart sank at the prospect of what he would say. She soon swept into action though as she marched to the front door and peeked through the spy hole. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the familiar face of her husband, and she swung the door open.

"Mike!" Rachel threw her arms about him and let out a deep sigh. "Thank God," she whispered into his neck.

Mike returned the embrace, wrapping himself around her slight frame. "Hey," he replied simply.

They held each other for a few seconds before pulling apart and then immediately indulging in a tender kiss.

"Miss me?" Mike whispered, as they rubbed noses.

"You have no idea," she chuckled.

Mike returned her smile but then a veil of seriousness fell across his features. "We need to talk. Is Donna back?" he asked.

Rachel's eyes widened. "You knew she left?"

"Err.. yeah!"

"Oh my god, what has she done?"

"I'd better come inside," he said with a pained expression.

* * *

"Harvey!...HARVEY"

Samantha called after the man in question as he advanced down the steps of the FBI field office. He didn't look back, marching directly towards his car which was dutifully waiting.

"Harvey!...Talk to me, Goddammit!"

Harvey spun on his heel and scowled at Samantha. "Talk about what? There's nothing to say."

Samantha sighed. "I need to know what you're going to do," she persevered.

Harvey threw his arms out to the side. "It's like you said, Samantha. There's nothing I _can_ do about it." He reached for the door handle.

"Where are you going?"

Harvey shrugged and cocked his head to the side. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll fly to the Bahamas, have an extended vacation. Maybe I'll take a trip to Europe, learn a new language...because after all, I'm off scot-free. Everything's worked out just fine!" he bit back, his tone caustic.

Samantha rolled her eyes. "That's not fair. My job in there was to protect you and your interests, which I did. That doesn't mean that I don't care about Donna or what might happen to her. We need to sit down and come up with a defense strategy in case they decide to charge her."

Harvey glowered at her before opening the door. "You do whatever makes you feel better, Samantha. I've got somewhere I need to be."

Without another word, he climbed into the back of the Lexus, slamming the door before the car pulled away.

* * *

"Holy shit!"

"I know."

"They could both be charged!"

"I know."

Rachel lifted her hand up to her mouth and shook her head in dismay. Mike immediately took her other hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Hey. Donna made a choice. This isn't your fault."

Rachel tilted her head, giving him a look that told him it wasn't as simple as that.

"There is some good news though," Mike said with a light smile.

"Oh?"

"The FBI followed up on the leads we provided from our visit to Danbury. I got a call from Agent Wade about ten minutes ago, telling me they found the body of Glen Mathison."

Rachel's eyebrows shot up. "The Karimov's accountant?"

"Yep. They have an arrest warrant out for Roman Karimov. According to Nick Hasanov, Roman not only killed Mathison himself, the sick bastard filmed the whole thing on his phone. For his collection, apparently. So, all going well, they have everything they need to put him away for a very, very long time, and Harvey won't need to testify at all."

Rachel nodded at Mike's words and she let out a deep breath. "Well that takes care of Roman, but what about—"

"I know. We're not out of the woods yet," Mike said with a sigh as he fell back against the couch.

They were interrupted by several loud bangs on the front door. With hardly any chance given for them to respond, the banging persisted. Mike shot up out of his seat and sprinted to the front door. His stomach sank when he spied who was on the other side. He unchained the lock, opened the door and Harvey stormed past him.

"Is she here?"

He rounded the corner into Donna's living room, Mike close to his heel.

"Well? Is she?" he practically bellowed.

Rachel stood up from the couch. "No, Harvey. She's not. I haven't seen her since this morning."

Harvey was breathing heavily. His eyes were wide, his jaw set and his fists clenched. Anger seemed to emanate from every pore. "You let her leave...again?" he roared.

Rachel held out her hand in defense. "Harvey, I—"

"I asked you to keep an eye on her. I told you to keep her safe. I might as well have asked my six-year old niece to watch over her," he snarled.

"Harvey. It wasn't—"

"Are you competent at anything?"

"That's enough!" Mike snapped. "Don't you dare talk to Rachel like that. I know you're pissed and you're frustrated, but we are _done_ being your punching bags!"

"Mike. You don't know what Donna did," Harvey rounded on his friend.

"I don't give a shit. It's not our fault! None of this is our fault. You're feeling guilty and it's making you lash out, and I've had enough of it." He glared back at Harvey.

Rachel stepped forward then and placed a hand on Mike's arm. She looked up at Harvey. "I didn't stop Donna leaving because she's a grown woman capable of making her own choices. I may have been keeping an eye on her, but she wasn't my prisoner, Harvey. I think she'd already had enough of being held against her will this week, don't you?"

Harvey blanched at that and his shoulders slumped. He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a shuddering sigh, along with some of the aggression he had been harbouring. He shook his head, more at himself than at his two friends, before looking back at Rachel with a forlorn expression.

"Can I get a drink?"

Rachel seemed to relax slightly at his request and she gave him a half-smile. "Sure. Vodka okay?"

"Macallan is preferable. She always keeps a bottle in the middle cupboard," he said dolefully.

Rachel moved to the kitchen and retrieved the bottle of Macallan along with three glasses. As she made her way back into the living room, Harvey was already slumped on the couch. His breathing had calmed, but his face was still twisted with anguish. She poured them all a healthy measure of whiskey and handed Harvey his glass, which he took almost despondently as he stared blankly ahead.

"What else did she do, Harvey?" Mike asked, breaking the silence.

Harvey sighed and closed his eyes.

"You said 'you don't know what Donna did'... what did she do?" Mike pressed further.

Harvey took a large gulp of his drink and rested the glass on his knee. He still didn't look up, his eyes slightly glazed over. "She not only confessed to shooting Samuel. She also produced a letter from a psychiatrist claiming that my statement should be disregarded because I was suffering from PTSD. Some kind of fucking memory displacement shit," he said bitterly.

"What? Paula wrote that?" Rachel gasped.

Harvey's eyes flashed darkly, but he shook his head. "Nope. Apparently, it came from my consultation with Dr. Beck, who diagnosed me with this incredibly fortunate condition."

"Dr. Beck? Who's that?" Mike asked with a frown.

"Fuck if I know," Harvey scoffed. He took another slug of whiskey before continuing. "Anyway, the FBI were more than satisfied with it. My statement is now officially null and void, and now that Glen Mathison's body has been found, I'm in the clear. Yay for me." He scowled with a wave of his whiskey glass.

Mike and Rachel exchanged a look between them. "What about Donna?" Mike dared to ask.

Harvey gripped his glass a little tighter, and he grimaced as he met Mike's inquisitive gaze. "She may be charged. We don't know yet," he said darkly.

"Fuck!" Mike exhaled.

All three of them sat for a moment not knowing what to say. In the end, Rachel gave voice to what they were all thinking.

"We need to sort out representation for her, and make sure that criminal charges don't even see the light of day."

"We need to find her first," Mike added.

Harvey placed his empty glass on the coffee table, and stood up from the couch.

"We do. So I suggest you both find out where the fuck she is, pretty damn quick," he said brusquely as he did up his coat.

"Where are you going?" Mike asked.

"Home." His face was impassive and his tone was cool, almost glacial. "Can you both meet me at the office tomorrow?" he asked.

"Of course, Harvey," Mike answered, perplexed at the sudden change in Harvey's demeanor. He was clearly still angry, but the former rage had given way to a more controlled hostility.

Harvey nodded, and without a further word uttered he took his leave.

It was mere minutes later that he was back in his black Lexus, instructing Ray to drive him home. Ray seemed to sense the dark cloud that surrounded his boss and thankfully didn't try to make any casual conversation.

Harvey gazed out of his window in silence. His eyes weren't focused on the New York streets, instead his dark mood occupied his consciousness. Anger and resentment permeated his bones. He knew Mike was right when he'd accused him of lashing out at everybody. He should feel guilty about that, but he didn't. He was too preoccupied with coming to terms with what Donna had done.

He'd asked her to trust him. To trust that he would fix the situation. His hunch about Mathison had been right, and the mere fact that Roman had crossed state lines to commit murder, and had done so to prevent an FBI informant from testifying, resulted in it being determined as a federal and capital crime. That had meant that Harvey not only provided enough evidence to the FBI to get the bastard convicted, but he would have been able to threaten Roman with the possibility of the death penalty. His plan had been that providing Roman destroyed all traces of The Beaufort Club's video footage, Harvey would make sure, using all the contacts he had at his disposal, that the death penalty would not be sought. It was a good plan, and everything was going well. They would all have been off the hook.

But Donna had lost faith in him.

She'd jumped the gun and thrown herself on the train tracks, needlessly. Harvey scrunched his eyes and pressed his lips together in a thin line. He was so close to getting everything resolved and now they had the prospect of Donna being charged with murder. He was livid.

"We're here boss," Ray's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Thanks, Ray. I'll see you in the morning."

He rode the elevator up to his condo and his skin prickled. He'd never felt so on edge, so out of sorts. He was exhausted still. He'd not had a proper night sleep for days now, and the stress and mental fatigue he had suffered were taking their toll. However, rage was driving him on. Fury and indignation at having been blindsided today were keeping him from collapsing in a bone-weary heap.

He entered his condo, noting the lights that were on low. He threw his keys on the side table as he walked out into his living room.

Paula was sitting on the couch, nursing a gin and tonic. The fire was on low, the flames casting a warm glow about the room. She looked up and smiled broadly but with a noticeable hint of nervousness.

"You're home! I know you probably weren't expecting me to be here—"

"I knew you'd be here, and I'm glad that you are," he replied.

She stood up then and walked up to him, wrapping her arms about him and reaching up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

Harvey stiffened, but he placed his hands on either side of her waist, as he pulled back slightly to look into her blue eyes.

"How did today go? Is everything sorted? Is that horrible man dealt with?" she asked, as she ran her fingers down the sides of his face.

Harvey half smiled and he nodded. "Paula… who's Dr. Beck?"

Paula halted her movements and she swallowed heavily. "What?"

"You heard me," Harvey said, his tone low and dangerous.

Paula took a step back and crossed her arms instinctively. "He's a friend," she answered, a distinct wobble to her voice.

Harvey pursed his lips as he nodded slowly, his gaze never wavering from the woman in front of him. "Does he know that the false statement he signed his name to could not only see him lose his license, but also see him prosecuted?"

Paula tucked her hair behind her ear with a trembling hand. "He does, yes."

Harvey glared at her, waiting for her to elaborate, but she didn't say anything more. She simply stared right back as though challenging him to question her further.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing?" he asked abruptly.

She lifted her chin and rolled her shoulders back. "Saving you from yourself."

"Excuse me?" Harvey's eyes widened and the vein pulsed in his neck.

"Harvey, you were in danger of losing everything. Your career, your freedom. You stopped seeing any reason and your recklessness—"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Harvey yelled.

Paula blanched and took another step away from Harvey. "I'm your girlfriend, Harvey. Or had you forgotten about that? I love you and I was just trying to protect you."

"By going to Donna behind my back, and cooking up some fucking idiotic scheme?"

"It worked didn't it?" Paula cried, her arms outstretched.

Harvey lifted his fists, clenched them, then dropped them back to his side as he screwed his face up in an attempt to keep his anger in check. "No, Paula. It didn't, because I might be okay, but Donna could be charged with second-degree murder. I had everything under control. Everything was going to be resolved, then you went behind my back, and fucking ruined everything. How could you think I would be okay with you risking her like that?"

"It was her bloody idea, okay?" Paula shouted back.

Harvey faltered then, and he frowned. "What?"

Paula sighed and she ran her fingers through her hair to calm herself before speaking. "Yes, I went to Donna. I went to tell her about Roman's blackmail—"

"You had no right to do that," Harvey thundered.

"Oh yes I did. His blackmail directly affected her. She's not a child, Harvey, her life as she knew it was under threat and you were all complicit in hiding it from her. That was not your call to make. So you're damn right I told her. She assured me straight away that she could fix it. She knew how to get Roman off your back." Paula hesitated before continuing. "She told me that in order to get you off the hook, she would need that letter from me. It couldn't be written by me, because of our relationship. It had to be someone independent, whose integrity wouldn't come into question. Dr. Beck is a very old friend that I knew I could trust with this."

Paula glanced away then, and Harvey sensed immediately that there was more that Paula wasn't disclosing.

"What else?"

Paula swallowed and she looked down at her feet.

"What else did you both talk about, Paula? Tell me the fuck now, or so help me God—"

"I told her that she needed to let you go."

Harvey's mouth fell open and he stared dumbfounded at his girlfriend. His breathing accelerated and he narrowed his eyes. "You did what?" he all but whispered.

"Like I've already told you, you were being reckless. You were making rash decisions and she was the reason that you weren't able to think straight. I told her that I was aware that she had kissed you and even though she then assured me that the kiss was all her, and that her feelings for you were not reciprocated, I told her that you were still riddled with guilt over it. I pointed out that your guilt had clouded your judgement. I suggested to her that if she loved you, that she needed to let you move on."

Harvey had reached out and grasped hold of the nearest kitchen stool to steady himself as he stared incredulously at Paula.

She then took a steadying breath before slowly walking over to the desk by Harvey's bookcase. She pulled open a drawer and took out two envelopes. She returned to Harvey and stood in front of him with them still clutched in her hand.

Harvey looked from her hands up to her face and he straightened his stance. His senses were on high alert, alarm bells ringing like crazy in his head.

"What did you get in return, Paula. What did she give you in return for that fabricated letter," he almost choked out.

Paula looked down at the envelopes and then she held out her hand. "She asked me to give you these," she said quietly.

Harvey stared at Paula's outstretched hand, afraid to take what he was being offered.

"What are they?"

"They're both addressed to you. I've not opened them."

Harvey took them and turned them over in his hand. His name was inscribed on both envelopes in Donna's distinct scrawl. He swallowed, tucking them into his jacket pocket, not ready to open them and read their contents just yet.

"I'm sorry, Harvey. I really am. Please understand that we did what we did because we both care deeply for you and we were just trying to protect you."

Harvey looked up then and he saw the sincerity in Paula's eyes. She was trembling, and he gently took her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"I know," he said softly.

She let out a sob and a tear escaped down her cheek. Harvey released a deep sigh before tenderly swiping it away with his thumb.

"Paula… Donna was wrong."

Paula nodded, the tears now flowing freely. "She did what she thought was best for you," she said as she tilted her head. She then lifted her arms so that she could cradle his face in her hands.

Harvey shook his head as he took her hands and removed them from his face. "That's not what I meant, Paula." He hesitated before looking her squarely in the eye.

"Donna was wrong...when she told you that the kiss was all _her_... and that the way she felt about me was not reciprocated."


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was the toughest chapter yet, to write. I procrastinated...lots! Could not make decisions for the life of me, but I got there in the end.
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your feedback & reviews. They inspire me every week. Please, please keep them coming, if you can.
> 
> Once again huge thanks to my support network, Blue for being my beta extraordinaire and a wonderful friend, but I also wanted to make a special shout out to my cheerleaders, who keep me going, when writers block hits - Mai, Aimee, Charline, Jen & Cassie. This chapter is for you, big hugs, ladies!
> 
> Stay safe - love to all.
> 
> Jo x

* * *

_"Donna was wrong...when she told you that the kiss was all her... and that the way she felt about me was not reciprocated."_

"What?" she choked.

Harvey tilted his head slightly and he looked intently into Paula's eyes. He didn't repeat what he'd said, though. He didn't need to. She'd heard him loud and clear, they both knew that. However, the shock of his words meant that she was failing to process their meaning.

She whipped her hands from his grasp and stepped back, as though she had been burned. As she stared back into his deep brown eyes, the words he'd just murmured to her, in that soft and gentle tone of his that always set her aflame, reverberated around her head.

_Donna was wrong._

_The kiss wasn't all her._

_The way she felt … reciprocated._

_Reciprocated!_

Paula felt nauseous. Her heart was pounding. All her worst fears had been realised, and she stumbled further back away from the man that she desperately loved. Desperately wanted.

"Paula…" Harvey began, but she lifted a shaking hand to halt him.

"Tell me you just said that to hurt me," she gasped.

Harvey immediately frowned. A look of disbelief flashed across his face. "What?... of course not."

Paula began shaking her head as fresh tears began to fill her eyes. She looked up at him almost pleadingly. "Please tell me you just said that because you are angry with me for what I did. For going behind your back. Please, Harvey," she sobbed.

"Paula. Do you think I'd be that cruel? That's not who I am," he said a little more softly.

She nodded as the tears began to fall. She knew he wouldn't be that spiteful, but she was desperately trying to cling on to the hope that he hadn't meant what he'd said. Lashing out to hurt her was preferable to the notion that his words were spoken in truth.

"I'm sorry, Paula. I really am. I haven't been honest with you, because I haven't been honest with myself." He took a tentative step towards her. She'd wrapped her arms around herself as though to shield herself from his words, from the pain.

"Donna might have instigated it, but I did kiss her back. Deep down, I knew it. Even though I convinced myself that it wasn't the case. I should have told you about the kiss the night it happened, but I felt guilty. I was a mess, Jessica had been disbarred and then Donna—"

"Oh my god, was that the night that you first asked me to move in with you?" Paula asked, a look of horror on her face.

Harvey swallowed. He nodded and then winced when he saw realisation dawn on Paula's face.

Her hand lifted to her forehead as she started to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Harvey's sudden desire to move their relationship up a gear had been a surprise to her at the time, but not unwelcome. As much as she hadn't expected it, it had thrilled her. He had become more tender, more affectionate and she'd just lapped it up.

Normally, warning bells would have rung, especially after her last painful breakup. But she had been so smitten by him, that those usually reliant peeling alarm bells had been smothered and silenced by her desire. She'd been taken by his charm, revelled in his attentiveness and passion. She knew his past. She knew how he felt about infidelity, so she'd relied on a false assumption that she was in no danger of it happening again. That knowledge gave her the freedom to fall in love with him. All her conventional reasoning and cautiousness had been brushed aside, and as a result, she'd chosen to ignore the signs. Signs that she now realised, with a crushing blow, had been there all along, staring her in the face.

"I should have known," she huffed as she shook her head. "I mean, it's always been her, hasn't it?"

"That's not fair, Paula. I really wanted this to work. More than you know."

"Did you Harvey? Or were you just using me to fill a void?" she said bitterly. She knew that was uncalled for. Not that she didn't believe it to be true, in fact, she was certain of it. If she was honest with herself, she'd always suspected it deep down, but like all her other fears, she'd pushed it aside and ignored it. No, her comment was uncalled for, because whilst it might be true, Harvey hadn't been cognizant of it. He'd been oblivious to his true feelings, and she'd chosen to ignore that too.

Harvey shook his head and he looked at the ground. A difficult silence ensued.

His reluctance to answer her question told her everything she needed to know. Paula lifted her chin and she wiped the tears from her face. She wanted to argue, to lash out at him, but with a sinking feeling, she realised there would be no point. It was over. His heart belonged to someone else, and to fight that would just prolong her pain.

"I think I'll stay at my apartment tonight. I'll come back tomorrow and collect the rest of my things. I'm assuming you will be in the office then?"

Harvey cleared his throat. "Yes, I'm meeting Mike and Rachel. We need to sort out a defense strategy for Donna in case she's charged," he said quietly.

"Well I can tell you now, that she's already sought legal counsel," Paula announced.

"What?" Harvey questioned in surprise, his forehead furrowed.

"When I last saw her, I asked her what she would do if she was charged. She told me that she was going to ask Louis to represent her. I believe she planned on going to see him as soon as she left the FBI."

"She what?" Harvey's face turned to stone and his fists balled until his knuckles were white. His face went from pallor to crimson and he looked ready to start punching if Louis had been in front of him.

Paula's eyes scanned him as a realisation set in. Her mouth dropped open. She let out a huff as she shook her head. "Of course you'd be mad at that. Louis was good enough for me though, wasn't he?" she snapped, her eyes wide with indignation.

Harvey's shoulders dropped and he pursed his lips. "That was different, Paula. Yours was a business matter, this is a criminal case!"

Paula let out a humourless chuckle and she waved a hand to stop him saying anything more. "Don't worry about it, Harvey. It doesn't matter. Donna could have hired Robert Shapiro and Johnnie Cochran, and we both know that you'd still think they wouldn't be good enough for her. Like I said, it's always been different with her," she said with a shake of her head.

Harvey closed his eyes and he expelled a deep sigh before stepping forward and closing the distance between them. "I never meant to hurt you, Paula," he said with earnest.

Paula forced a smile on her face and she nodded at Harvey. "I know," she said, a tremor to her voice clearly audible.

Harvey lifted his hand, but let it drop again, and Paula sensed that he wasn't sure what he should say or do next. The awkwardness was palpable, and she felt herself flush, humiliation now starting to seep into her veins, resting alongside a profound sense of sorrow. She reached over and picked up her handbag and stepped around him.

"Paula!" Harvey called after her. She paused and looked back at him. "I am sorry," he said again.

Paula bit her lip and looked to the ceiling. She swallowed, debating whether she should say anything more, as the desire to escape grew ever stronger.

"Harvey, if I can just leave you with one piece of advice… don't be afraid to tell her how you feel," she choked out, before stepping away and leaving without another look back.

* * *

Louis marched through the offices of the New York State's Attorney's office. A man on a mission. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and his heart was thumping wildly. He was firing on all cylinders.

He'd not long concluded his meeting with Donna, and he had been satisfied that he was as prepared as he could be for whatever might be thrown at them. That was until just a few minutes after Donna had left his office, when he'd received an alarming phone call.

The news that had been relayed to him over the phone had caused the colour to drain from his face. Plan A was immediately tossed into the trash. It was on to Plan B. He rallied his spirits, focused his mind, and bellowed for Gretchen, barking out his orders to her before grabbing his coat and making a swift exit.

As he exited the elevator and rounded the corner, the office he wanted was now in plain sight at the end of the corridor, he whipped out his phone, ignoring the many missed calls from Harvey, Mike, and Samantha, and dialled his secretary.

"Is it done, Gretchen?" he whispered into the phone.

_"The troops are rallied. They're not happy though. Harvey, in particular. It took everything I had to convince him to stay put and wait for you. He wants to know what the hell you are planning."_

"You didn't tell him where I was, did you? I can't have him railroading me."

_"What do you take me for? This is not my first rodeo, Louis."_

"What you do in your spare time with ropes and bareback horses is none of my concern, Gretchen. Anyway, I'm here now. I have to go," he said, switching his phone off and placing it in his coat pocket. He took a deep breath and tapped on the office door, before opening it.

The woman behind the desk looked up and frowned, before a smug smile crept across her face.

"Louis Litt. I wondered how long it would take for you to pay me a visit."

"Anita Gibbs. I'd say that it's a pleasure to see you again, but we both know that's bullshit!"

* * *

Harvey had been pacing up and down for what felt like several hours now.

As soon as Paula had left, and he'd heard the soft click of his front door shutting, he'd grabbed his phone and dialed Donna's number. The call went straight to voicemail. Harvey pinched the bridge of his nose, and tried Louis instead. With any luck, she was still with him, the sting of that notion still keenly felt. Louis's phone rang out and also went to voicemail. Harvey let out an exasperated groan and was tempted to throw his phone against the wall, but then it began ringing.

He looked down and saw Gretchen's caller ID.

"Gretchen," he almost shouted. "Is he there in the office? Is Donna there? I need to speak to them."

" _Simmer down, Harvey. He's asked me to call you. Louis isn't here at the moment—"_

"Is Donna there?"

" _She was, but she's not anymore—"_

"Where the hell are they?" he bellowed.

" _If you stop interrupting me for one damn second, and let me speak, I might be able to answer you… Donna left just over an hour ago. I believe she was going to meet up with her mom and visit her dad. Louis is at a meeting, but he needs to speak to you. Are you at home?"_

"I am, but I need to see Donna—"

" _Well, I'm afraid that's gonna have to wait. Louis has asked that you stay there and he'll come see you as soon as his meeting is over. I've called Mike and asked him to meet you there too."_

"What's happened, Gretchen?" Harvey grabbed the kitchen countertop and closed his eyes, his anxiety levels peaking once again.

" _Honestly, I'm not sure. All I can tell you is that he had a phone call from the FBI, he ordered me to call you and Mike, and then he left here quicker than you could say 'lickety split'."_

Harvey's head dropped and he gritted his teeth, trying to keep his frustration in check. "He didn't say anything else? Gave no indication where he was going?"

" _No. I did ask, because I knew you would ask me, but he just replied with 'someone's about to get 'Litt Up'."_

"Jesus H Christ. This is all I need. Goddamn it, Gretchen. This is Donna's life we are talking about here."

" _You think I don't know that? Harvey, you need to have a little faith in him. Louis is a kick-ass lawyer and we both know he'd do anything for Red. Just hang tight. He'll be there soon to explain everything, I promise."_

"He'd better be, Gretchen."

With that, Harvey hung up. He threw his phone down onto the couch and lifted his palms to his eyes and took a deep breath. The feelings of uneasiness he'd had earlier were back in full force. His skin prickled again, and his stomach was in knots. The letters Paula had given him were burning a hole in his pocket. He knew he needed to open them and read their contents but he already suspected what they might be, and he just wasn't ready.

He wanted to see Donna, but he was still angry. Angry and hurt that she'd colluded with Paula, and put herself in this shitty situation, especially when he'd been so close to resolving it. However, those weren't the only feelings that coursed through his body, as a result of what she'd done. Alongside his anger was something else that he couldn't properly name or place, something that he wouldn't have been able to describe if he was asked.

He heard a loud knock at his door and strode down his hallway to answer it. Pulling the door open, he was faced with an equally weary looking Mike and Rachel.

"I understand our meeting tomorrow morning has been brought forward to this afternoon instead," Mike said with a wry grin.

Harvey smirked. "Apparently so. Come on in, I'll pour us a drink, while we wait for his highness."

They followed him into the living room, as Harvey walked up to his drinks cabinet and proceeded to pour their drinks.

Mike cleared his throat. "Harvey… I take it, you haven't heard."

Harvey halted his movements and he immediately tensed at the tone of Mike's voice as well as his words. He spun around and looked between his two friends with a frown. "Heard what?" he asked.

"They've arrested Roman."

Harvey's eyes widened and a look of relief flashed across his features. "They have? When?"

"Earlier this afternoon by all accounts. He was picked up pretty quickly after Mathison's body was found. I don't think he'd even tried to go to ground."

Harvey scoffed. "Of course not. He's an arrogant bastard who thought he was untouchable. God, I wish I could have been there to see the smug look wiped off his face when they read the charges out to him."

Harvey reached out to pass their tumbler glasses to them, but faltered when he saw them exchange a worried look. "What?" he said. "Fuck, what now? What's happened?"

Rachel took her glass from him and swallowed heavily. "We don't know whether Roman was tipped off, or whether he just got one of his minions to do it but…Harvey, he's released the video footage from the Beaufort club," she said nervously, as though wary of Harvey's reaction.

Harvey paled. His stomach dropped, and he felt the bile rise up in his throat. "No," he whispered.

Mike shook his head. "Apparently, he released it onto social media and sent it to a local cable network. It's too graphic not to be taken down quickly, but it's out there Harvey, and it doesn't stop the network showing a censored version."

Harvey closed his eyes and he clenched his jaw. He felt his muscles coil and tighten, the rage and frustration bubbling up inside him and before he knew it, he let the anger and despair just take him. "Son of a bitch!" He launched his half-full whiskey glass at the wall above the fireplace, the glass shattering on impact.

Rachel gasped and Mike looked on in horror as Harvey stood there, panting, the despair rolling off of him in waves.

"I had him, Mike. I had a way to stop that bastard from ever thinking about releasing that footage. I fucking had him," Harvey said, his voice course.

"You still have him. The video might be out there, but the fact that Donna confessed already means—"

"...shit! It means shit, Mike. If the media spin it the wrong way, and they infer it was premeditated, it increases the chance of her being prosecuted," Harvey interrupted.

"The FBI won't be swayed by the media, Harvey," Rachel said, trying to reassure an obviously spiralling Harvey.

"Don't be so naive. All it takes is the wrong prosecutor with a chip on their shoulder and a point to prove and Donna is staring at second-degree murder!"

"You mean a federal prosecutor like Anita Gibbs?" Louis's voice rang through the room, and the three of them turned to see the man himself standing by the kitchen counter.

"You are shitting me!" Harvey groaned. "What the fuck, Louis. Anita Gibbs? Please tell me you are making a sick joke."

"I'm not… but I have it in hand. I promise. She's not going to prosecute."

Harvey shook his head, a mixture of confusion and disbelief fuzzing his brain. "What?"

"I've just come from her office. She _had_ taken the case, but she agreed not to take the matter any further. It's sorted Harvey, and I think I have a fix for the media issue too."

Harvey eyed Louis in bewilderment, then he frowned. "How the fuck did you get in here?"

"The way all of us get in here," he scoffed, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Now pour me a drink, sit your asses down, and let me tell you what happened and what I think we need to do next!"

* * *

The sun was dipping low beyond the horizon, and Donna gazed out of the window watching the last remnants of daylight disappear.

She had been listening to her mother chatter away for about an hour. Well, it was less chatter and more incessantly fretting over her. Clara had understandably been horrified at the circumstances that both her ex-husband and her daughter had found themselves in. She'd made it abundantly clear that she was less than happy that she'd been kept out of the loop for so long, regardless of the fact that she had been thousands of miles away at the time and powerless to do anything to help.

They'd both visited Jim together at the hospital, and had been relieved to hear that it looked likely he would be discharged the next day. Clara had already made plans to stay with Jim while he convalesced at home. He'd protested of course, but Donna didn't fail to note the sparkle in his eyes when Clara had insisted, stating emphatically on more than one occasion that she wouldn't take no for an answer. Jim had done a poor job over the years of hiding how much he was still in love with her mother, and Donna was in no doubt that he was secretly thrilled that she would be staying with him for a while.

That would be tomorrow though. Right now, Clara was focussing all her energy on her daughter. She was playing the role of good cop, bad cop all by herself, continually switching between berating Donna and then fussing over her. Donna had done her best to appease her mother's worries. She'd assured, comforted, promised, smiled. She'd even attempted to make light of everything with a few jokes. However, truth be told, she wasn't on her 'A' game. Her heart wasn't in it. She was exhausted and weary, and so for the last ten minutes or so, she'd taken to just gazing out of the window of the cosy little cafe they were situated in, allowing her mother's words to almost wash over her.

She suddenly became aware that Clara had stopped talking. Donna turned away from the window and looked back at her mother almost apologetically.

Clara had tilted her head and was studying her daughter intently. Donna felt the weight of her mother's stare, the scrutiny making her squirm a little in her seat. She smiled and gave a little shake of her head, as though to acknowledge that she hadn't really been listening.

Clara sighed heavily and she reached out and rested her hand on Donna's arm. "Talk to me, Donna," she said softly.

Donna took a deep breath and plastered another smile on her face. "I've told you all that there is to say."

Clare quirked an eyebrow, and she dipped her head slightly in order to hold her daughter's eye contact. She didn't possess Donna's empathetic skills, but she knew her daughter well enough to know that something unspoken was troubling her.

"Mom!" Donna huffed.

"You're bottling it all up. You're distressed—"

"Well, of course I'm distressed. Were you not listening when I told you everything that's happened over the last few days? Did you forget the part about me being kidnapped and drugged or the fact that there is a possibility I might be charged with murder?" she snapped, instantly aware of a few startled glances that were thrown their way from some of the other customers.

"Donna!" her mother scolded, as she looked nervously about her.

Donna huffed, and she leant back in her chair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I'm just really, really tired. I should be heading back, really. I've already left it too long to call Rachel. She must be worried sick."

"You're deflecting again," her mother said with a sigh.

"For God's sake Mom, what do you want from me?"

"I want to know why you are running away?"

Donna wrenched her arm out from her mother's grasp. "What? I'm not running away. I confessed. I'm ready to face the music."

"I'm not talking about the shooting. I'm not talking about the kidnapping, the Karimov's or Samuel, Donna! I'm talking about Harvey!"

Donna flinched. She recoiled further from her mother as though she'd been slapped by her words. "What's that supposed to mean?" she whispered.

Clara took a steadying breath and leant forward towards her daughter once more. "You're in love with him." Donna opened her mouth to protest, but her mother lifted a hand in warning. "Don't insult my intelligence by denying it, Donna. We both know it's been true for a very long time. You're in love with him and you are shutting him out. Going to Louis, resigning your job, your plan to leave New York? You are running away from your feelings."

Donna looked away and pinched her lips as she tried to stay calm and composed. "He has a girlfriend, Mom. They live together. He's in a serious and committed relationship and I don't want to stand on the sidelines anymore, and watch him love someone else." Her voice cracked on those last few words.

"Oh, Donna," Clara squeezed her daughter's hand. "Have you told him?" she asked tentatively.

"What?"

"Have you told him how you feel?" her mother pressed.

"No. I kissed him, and he wasn't too happy about it. Our friendship was fatally wounded as a result," Donna murmured as she continued to gaze out of the window, desperately trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Kissing him, is not the same as telling him you are in love with him."

"Yes, well, I'm not going there, Mom. He was so angry. He made it quite clear that it was the last thing he wanted, and he made me promise not to do it again."

"Hmm. Well, actions speak louder than words, Donna. The lengths he went to, was prepared to go to for you… let's just say those aren't the actions of someone who just cares for you, and nothing more—"

"It's called 'guilt' Mom. Harvey was the target and I was the bait—"

"There...that's what I'm talking about. You're running away from your feelings, from any possibility of some happiness, because we both know that's nonsense. He was going to throw everything away for you, Donna. His career, his freedom...everything. You're hiding from the truth, and do you know what I think? I think you're afraid. I think you're afraid he loves you as much as you love him, and even though it's something you've longed for, for too long now, the thought of him loving you like that, scares you to death."

Donna stared at her mother open-mouthed. She was visibly shaking. She stood from the table and grabbed her bag and coat. "You have no idea what you are talking about, Mom, and I am done with this conversation. I need to go." She buttoned up her coat, her bottom lip trembling. "Call me tomorrow and let me know Dad is home safely, okay?" she added with an attempt at a half-smile, not wanting to leave her mother on a sour note.

Her mother looked disappointed but resigned and she nodded at her daughter's request. Donna made to leave but her mother grabbed her arm and halted her movements.

"Donna...I'm worried sick about these potential charges you could be facing. Please let me know as soon as you hear anything," she said, her voice thick with emotion.

Donna immediately softened at her mother's words and worried expression. "I'm sure it will be okay, Mom. Louis is one of the best," she said, as much to allay her own fears as well as her mother's.

"Promise me something, Donna," her mother said, her tone serious.

"What?"

"Promise me you won't shut everyone out. You've always been there for others when they need you, but you have a habit of closing yourself off, when you are the one in need. Asking for, and accepting help is not a weakness, Donna. It's a strength. Let them be there for you. Let them in."

Clara's eyes pleaded with her to heed her advice and Donna swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She knew the truth to her mother's words. She'd always found it easier to build a wall around herself when it came to her own troubles, to hide her fears from those she loved the most.

She nodded and leant down, kissing her mom on the cheek. "I love you, Mom," she whispered.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

* * *

All four of them were now sitting in the living room, a drink in hand.

Louis was frowning as he eyed the fireplace. "Is that whiskey dripping down your wall, Harvey?"

"Yes, it's a new feature I've installed. Now, do you wanna tell us what the fuck happened with Anita Gibbs, or carry on discussing my decor?"

"Point taken," Louis mumbled with a nod. "Okay, so, I heard about Roman's arrest and the video footage being released, from Agent Gutierrez. He also called me to tell me that Anita Gibbs had been assigned the case, and she was asking a lot of questions. He suspected that now that the footage was out there, she would use it to build a case against Donna."

"Of course she would," Harvey said with a scowl.

"So I hightailed it over to her office to speak to her." Louis took a gulp of his drink, seemingly enjoying the rapturous attention he was getting from the room.

Harvey cocked his head to the side and lifted his eyebrows. "And?"

"She basically told me that she wasn't satisfied with the version of events that Donna had given, she highly suspected that it _wasn't_ a simple case of self-defense, and as federal prosecutor, she intended to press charges for second-degree murder."

Harvey pursed his lips and gripped his glass a little tighter. Louis picked up on his aggression, and hastily continued.

"I then pointed out to her, that going after Donna would be very foolish. My client had been kidnapped by an organised criminal gang at the behest of a high profile, convicted felon. She'd been physically assaulted and had her life threatened on more than one occasion. I reminded her that this gang was not only responsible for a string of serious federal offenses, but they had been on the FBI's most-wanted list for over two years. I then told her that it was a good thing that the video had been leaked to the media. It showed the physical state Donna was in, it showed Samuel murdering two men in cold blood, and it also clearly showed him turning the gun on the three of you. I then informed Miss Gibbs that the network that had obtained the video had requested an interview with Donna. They wanted an exclusive on her side of the story. 'Brave kidnap victim triumphs over vicious criminal overlord.'" Louis flurried with his hands as though the words were written on a billboard.

Harvey almost spat his whiskey out at that, and he flushed red. "What the fu—"

"Wait, Harvey. I'm not finished. I told her that Donna would be the people's hero. The beautiful COO that was kidnapped and tortured. She took on the bad guys and against all the odds she won. I asked Gibbs, if after all of that, if, against the advice of the FBI, and despite video evidence to the contrary, how would it then look, if a federal investigator even dared to suggest that what happened was anything but self-defense. The public would crucify her for attacking such a fucking goddamn hero!"

Mike shook his head, but he started smiling. "She backed down?" he asked in amazement.

"Yeah. I told her that Donna didn't want to do any interviews, that she was traumatized enough. But that we'd make it happen if Gibbs continued with this vindictive persecution, because after Mike's case, and the fact that it's common knowledge that she wanted to take Harvey down, that's exactly what it would look like."

"Oh my God, Louis," Rachel grinned. "What did she say?"

"She just smiled at me. She shook her head and she smiled at me. Then, she told me that I could consider the case closed. The bitch even asked me how Donna was doing as I made my way out."

Harvey closed his eyes and he let out a relieved sigh.

"Is that it now?" Rachel asked, her fingers pressed against her mouth as she felt her eyes start to water. "Is it really over?"

"There's still the video," Mike said. "We don't want that out there, for Donna's sake. Like you said, Louis. She's been traumatized enough without that horrible situation being aired on T.V. Even if it is censored."

"Well I think we can take care of that too," Louis said with a smile as he looked up at Harvey in particular. "I checked back with Gutierrez for the name of the cable network that Roman sent the video to. Guess who's the largest shareholder?"

"Who?" Rachel asked.

Louis grinned from ear to ear. "Only Tony fucking Giannopolous."

Harvey stared at Louis, and his lips started to curl into a smirk.

Louis nodded. "I'd say your client owes you a very big favour, don't you, Harvey? Karimov blackmailed you, threatened your life, and you still wouldn't sell Tony out. I think a quiet word, and that video will never see the light of day."

Harvey leant forward and placed his empty glass on the coffee table in front of him.

"Louis… I could kiss you," he said with a wide grin. His eyes then softened as he looked across at his old adversary. "Thank you, my friend."

Louis instantly teared up, and he swallowed multiple times as he nodded in response. "Anytime, Harvey. You know I would do anything to help you, and to help Donna."

"Where is Donna, Louis?" Harvey asked softly, his tone serious again.

Louis seemed to take a moment before answering, as though deciding whether he should say something.

"Louis?" Harvey said with a frown.

Louis crossed his hands in front of him. He was trembling. "Harvey. Donna told me that she was going to resign from the firm," he almost choked out.

Both Mike and Rachel gasped at the same time.

Harvey swallowed and nodded. "I know."

"You know?" Louis asked, shocked.

"She left two letters for me. I have them here in my pocket. I haven't opened them yet, but let's just say that I guessed what one of them would be," he said quietly.

"She can't leave, Harvey. Our firm would fall apart. I'd fall apart!" Louis cried.

"Where is she, Louis?" Harvey asked again, his tone more firm.

Louis sighed. "She knew there would be fallout from what she did. She didn't want to go home. She was worried about facing people—"

"Louis, I'm only going to ask you one more time. Where is she?"

Louis glanced at Mike and Rachel before looking back at Harvey and meeting his glare.

"She visited both her parents this afternoon. But then I offered for her to stay at my beach house in the Hamptons. That's where she'll be for the next few days. She wanted some time to herself. She's been through so much, Harvey."

"I know."

They all sat for a moment in relative silence as they finished their drinks. Then Mike stood and he reached his hand out to help Rachel from her seat.

"I think that's our cue to leave," he said.

Harvey and Louis both stood too, and Harvey stepped forward and embraced Mike with a heartfelt hug. "Thanks, Mike. For everything."

"Anytime, Batman. Hey, you do realise that we missed Thanksgiving through all of this. How about you guys all come and visit us in Seattle for Christmas?"

Louis and Harvey both agreed, and more hugs were exchanged between the four friends.

Harvey followed them to his front door and as the last goodbyes were spoken and Rachel and Louis called the elevator, Mike hung back. He grabbed Harvey into another embrace and as he pulled away he kept hold of his friend's arm.

"Go get her, Harvey," he said.

* * *

He stared at the letter of resignation in front of him. His eyes had been fixed on it for a few minutes now.

It was a completely formal letter. It could have been a template, it was that impersonal. Harvey knew why. It was the reason he was still clutching the other letter in his hand. The other envelope held the personal letter, and he still couldn't bring himself to open it.

He sighed heavily as he finally reached for his letter opener and sliced the envelope open. A single note was inside, Donna's elegant handwriting clearly visible.

He reached for his glass of water and chugged it down before resting back on his couch and lifting the note up to read. His breath hitched immediately as soon as his eyes fell on the first few words.

_Dear Harvey,_

_I'm sorry._

_I know those two words barely make up for everything that I've said and done, but please know that I mean them sincerely._

_I know that you are angry. I understand that you might feel betrayed, but I want you to understand that I never lost faith in you. I have always trusted you, Harvey. I have less faith in the system, however, and I could not allow you to risk your freedom and your future on a lie, even if you were trying to protect me. Thank you for that. Thank you for coming for me and for saving my life._

_But now, you need to live yours. You have found someone that loves you very much. Please don't be angry with her. She did what I asked of her, and she did it to protect you. Forgive her, and be happy, Harvey._

_I want to thank you for taking a chance on me, in that bar, twelve years ago. These truly have been the best years of my life and I am so grateful to have been there to watch you grow into the man you are today, and to have been able, throughout that time, to call you my friend._

_I wish things between us hadn't ended this way. I wish that after everything that we have been through, our friendship had survived, but sadly it wasn't to be._

_I will miss you, and everyone working at the firm, more than I can say._

_Take care, Harvey._

_All my love,_

_Donna_

Harvey dropped the letter to his side, his insides were burning. He realised as he stared out of his window at the New York skyline, that his face was wet with tears.

He'd done this. He'd caused this. Donna may have kissed him, but he was the one that tore them apart. She'd been brave, and he'd been the coward.

He was so sick of being angry, and he was so sick of being afraid.

He stood up from the couch, his legs shaky and he pulled his phone from his pocket, pressing his speed dial.

"Ray. I know it's getting late but...thanks. I'll see you in ten minutes."

* * *

Donna dropped her bag by her feet and looked out of the huge bi-fold doors of Louis's beach house. She couldn't see too far, darkness having fallen and with the sky full of clouds, there was little moonlight to illuminate the view.

She could hear the waves crashing on the shore though, and she immediately unlocked the folding glass doors and pulled them back so that she could breathe in the sea air.

She stepped out onto the patio. There was a biting cold wind, but it was refreshing. She wrapped her cardigan tightly around herself, to try to keep warm, not ready to go back inside just yet.

She felt numb.

She had just heard from Louis that she was in the clear, but she was struggling to register that her ordeal was finally over. Her mind had been filled with so many chaotic thoughts for what had felt like forever, that she was finding it impossible to switch off her fears and worries. She should feel elated, relieved. But instead, she felt empty.

She'd regained her freedom, but all she could focus on was everything that she had lost.

Donna looked back at the beach house that was to be her home for the next few days. It was beautiful. Extravagant, with a colonial feel. Typical Louis, she smiled to herself. The house was so still, so silent that she suddenly felt suffocated by it. As cold as she was, she didn't want to go back in there and sit on her own, in the quiet. There would be time for that later. Time for her to sit in peace and reflect. Time for her to decide what the next stage of her life might be, what adventures might await her, once she was healed. For now, she needed to breathe. She needed the freedom that a walk along the beach offered, and she quickly stepped back inside to grab her coat.

She walked for about an hour, she wasn't sure of the distance. The other houses along the beachfront were predominantly in darkness, most of the owners back in the city after Thanksgiving weekend. The wind had dropped slightly, and with her warm coat and scarf wrapped around her, she no longer felt the cold.

It was getting late though and she'd already turned back, her aching muscles reminding her that she hadn't slept properly for many days and she really did need to try and rest. She decided that a bath and bed were calling to her.

As she neared Louis's house, her legs now heavy from trudging in the softer sand that led up to his decking, she faltered slightly when she thought she saw someone standing on the open patio. She squinted her eyes, and sure enough, a figure of a man stood in the darkness.

Donna froze. Fear licking her insides as she felt the impulse to bolt. Roman had been arrested, Louis had assured her. Maybe it was one of his men. She took a shaky step back, but then the man stepped forward, and despite the clouded sky, there was enough moonlight for her to make out his face. Her breath hitched, and she began shaking her head, a sob escaping her throat.

Harvey.

He climbed down the steps of the decking and began walking towards her.

Donna continued to shake her head, tears already falling down her cheeks as she retreated further from him.

"Donna?" he said, his velvety voice cutting through the darkness, but also stabbing her in the heart. She couldn't do this. She couldn't face him. She didn't have the strength anymore. Instinct kicking in, she promptly turned on her heel and with another desperate sob, she began to run.

Run away.

Away from him.

Away from pain.

She cursed the sand that impeded her speed as she tried to increase the distance between herself and the man that had owned but broken her heart. It was futile though, as she felt his presence behind her, his own heavier footsteps gaining on her, as he continued to shout her name.

Then, he caught her. His strong arms wrapped about her as he spun her around. Her arms flailed helplessly in his grasp, as she weakly tried to pummel his chest with what little strength she had left. They both sunk to their knees in the sand. He was still calling her name, but he wasn't shouting anymore. His voice was gentle and she felt his breath on her face, as he kept hold of her. She surrendered to him, then, collapsing into his embrace, all fight drained from her. She looked up at him, her eyes telling him all he needed to know.

He kissed her.

It was soft and gentle at first, and then with a growing intensity that seemed to restore her energy and her strength. It was as though he was breathing life back into her. He held her tightly to him with one arm, as his other hand weaved into her hair to cradle the back of her neck.

Their lips parted, but she clung to him as they stared into each other's eyes for a moment, both of them panting. He tilted his head slightly as he drew his hand from her neck to her cheek, and he brushed the tears from her face.

His eyes searched hers, and he dipped his head to kiss her gently once more. His tongue gently teased her bottom lip, coaxing her mouth open and her breath quickened as he deepened the kiss. Her heart was thumping so loudly in her chest, she was sure he would feel it in the vibrations of their kiss. Her previously limp arms now weaved their way around his neck as she pulled him even closer. Harvey groaned as their tongues did battle, the kiss becoming more passionate by the second, only stopping when they were both gasping for air.

They rested their foreheads together as Harvey dropped his hand from Donna's face, and grasped her hand instead, intertwining their fingers. He then pulled back slightly as he gazed intently into her eyes.

"I love you, Donna," he whispered.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all your wonderful feedback on the last chapter. Darvey finally made it. It only took 22 chapters - sorry about that ;-)
> 
> Once again, I tortured myself over this chapter. This one meant a lot to me, and I fretted about doing it justice. Thankfully, I had the most amazing support and encouragement from my two most fabulous beta's - Blue and Aimee. They knew how much I was stressed and worried over this kind of thing, but they kept me sane, they made me laugh and they wouldn't let me give up, even when I wailed and hollered.. Thank you ladies.
> 
> Please keep the reviews coming, I'm so grateful for them, they mean the world.
> 
> Stay safe and much love to everyone.
> 
> Rated: Mature

* * *

" _I love you, Donna."_

The knot wasn't first formed when Donna had kissed Harvey in her office, on that fateful night, all those months ago. She'd originally thought that it had, but on reflection, it'd been much earlier.

She wondered if it had started the moment Harvey came to her and told her he was seeing Paula, and not as his therapist. That was probably the time that she first became conscious of it - the tightly coiled, sickening knot of heartache, loneliness, and longing that had festered inside of her. However, if she was really honest with herself, the knot had actually first been forged much, much earlier than that.

Its growth was gradual at first, with certain moments in their chequered past, causing a surge in its evolution. The other time, Coastal Motors, Scottie, Zoe, 'love me how?'. On each of these occasions, that knot had expanded, morphed, became ever stronger and present.

The kiss though, and more pointedly, its aftermath, had been the catalyst for its intensification. From that point forward, Donna had felt it keenly. She felt its constant presence, and the more it grew and consumed her, the more she tried to ignore it. Pushing it down, smothering it with scotch or wine, fake smiles and copious amounts of work.

Then her father was attacked. Samuel happened, and everything that followed resulted in that twisted knot of pain being conjoined with a thick layer of tension. It was this ball of tension and pain that had worn away at her, more so than the physical assaults and the lack of sleep. She'd kept it tightly bound inside, while she ran almost on autopilot, to make it through each day.

When Harvey kissed her on that beach, she felt that knot splinter and crack.

Then, he uttered those words.

" _I love you, Donna."_

That's when it happened. Finally. After months and years, it finally gave way. Because she knew this time, when she saw the sincerity in Harvey's eyes, the intensity in his stare. She knew this was it, this was real, and this time, she didn't have to ask him, how?

The moment that knot gave way, and the floodgates containing all that pent up tension, fear, heartache, longing and desire were opened, Donna simply broke down. She wept and wept. Uncontrollably. She was almost hysterical, but she couldn't stop. She clung to Harvey, every limb trembling as she gasped and sobbed.

Harvey just held her tightly. It was as though he sensed that it was what she needed from him in that moment. She didn't have to explain, not that she could have if she'd tried. He just seemed to get it, to understand, and he wrapped her in his embrace, his nose buried in her hair, as she literally, just let it all out.

Eventually, her sobs subsided, and as the last of the tension left her body, so did the last of her energy and she sunk further into him. Exhausted.

Harvey immediately picked up on the change in her, and without any hesitation, he released his left arm from around her waist and scooped it under her, to lift her up into his arms.

He carried her back to the beach house, much like he had carried her when they had escaped from The Beaufort club, only this time instead of her arms falling limply at her side, she tightened her hands around the back of his head, as she buried her forehead in his neck, the scent of him washing over her like a soothing balm.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be," he replied just as softly, as he pressed his lips against her forehead, before climbing the steps back up to the patio of the beach house.

Harvey placed her down onto the couch, gently, and he carefully removed her coat and scarf, replacing it with a blanket that had been folded nearby. He knelt beside her as he draped the blanket over her knees and she caught his hand in hers, halting his movements.

"Harvey?" she questioned. "What about Paula?" The fear was evident in her tone, as she scanned his eyes, nervously awaiting his response.

"It's over," he answered without any hesitation.

Donna's lip trembled, and she blinked a few times. "Are you okay?"

"That depends. Do you love me too?"

Donna took a shaky breath, but she nodded quickly. "I do," she answered.

"Then I'm okay," he said, his eyes now a deep molten brown, filled with warmth and affection.

Donna gave a little gasp as she digested his words and absorbed the way he was looking at her. A lump formed in her throat, and her heart thundered. The enormity of the moment, momentarily taking her breath away.

He leant forward then, capturing her lips once more in another tender kiss. This time the kiss was much softer, less urgent, and he cradled her face as his tongue gently probed her mouth. Her eyes closed as she savoured the taste of him, and she felt the heat of desire course through her veins. She moaned slightly and she reached forward, her hands looping around his torso as she coaxed his body towards hers.

But then she felt him stiffen slightly, and no sooner had their kiss began to intensify, he pulled away from her with a faint sigh. A slight pang of fear shot through her core, and her eyes flashed open. Her old fears and insecurities flaring up unwillingly, but she quickly dismissed them, determined not to let doubt ruin the moment.

Harvey took her hands and wrapped his own around them, bringing them up to his lips and kissing them gently.

"Your hands are freezing, Donna," he said softly. "How long were you out there?"

Donna shrugged. "I've no idea," she answered truthfully.

"Have you eaten?" he asked, as he rubbed her fingers between his palms in an effort to warm them up.

Donna shook her head. "No, but I'm not hungry. I'm just tired."

Harvey tilted his head and he frowned as he studied her intently. "Donna, Rachel said that you've hardly eaten anything for a few days now."

"I wasn't with her the whole time," Donna retorted.

"Oh, I know," Harvey said, his tone a little brusk. Donna immediately tensed. It was the first time that any reference to everything that still remained unspoken between them had been made.

Harvey closed his eyes, a look of regret flashed briefly across his face. He recovered quickly though and he tilted his head as he looked up at her.

"Are you telling me you managed to eat both times you left your apartment?" Harvey pressed, clearly not willing to address the reasons why she had escaped from Rachel's care.

Donna swallowed and looked away from his intense stare.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," he said, with a wry smile. "It's a good thing I brought some food with me then."

Donna opened her mouth to protest, but Harvey had already released her now warmed hands, and he stood up, making his way over to the kitchen counter, where a small take out bag was situated.

"Don't worry, it's not a three course gourmet meal, it's just soup. There's a place Louis recommended not far from here," he said as he unpacked two containers, and began rummaging around the kitchen looking for utensils.

"Harvey—"

"Donna!" he mimicked her in warning. He lifted one eyebrow, and although a slight smirk played at the corner of his mouth, Donna recognised that tone of voice and that look in his eye. He wasn't going to take no for an answer.

She watched him move around the kitchen as she fiddled with the corners of the blanket. She felt apprehensive. Her emotions had once again been on a chaotic journey. Stress, despair, worry, relief, sadness, shock, fear, then joy and desire. These were just a few, and all in only the last hour. Right now though, she was nervous and slightly uneasy.

She didn't doubt that Harvey wanted to be here. That he was ready. That he loved her. But there was tension, still, between them. It hung heavily in the room.

It wasn't surprising really, after everything that had happened. There was so much to say, to confess, to admit to each other, not to mention the trauma they had both suffered in this last week. But even if they spent days doing so, Donna surmised they would barely scratch the surface, and sitting down and talking deeply about their feelings, just wasn't something they did. Not easily, anyway.

She knew that they would have to address some of their issues. It was inevitable. But with so much to say, where, how, and when they would tackle that minefield was something Donna wasn't ready to face yet.

Harvey approached with a tray and she sighed. "I can eat at the table, you know."

Harvey placed the tray on her lap, and the immediate aroma of hot chicken broth wafted up her nostrils. She thought her stomach would churn, as it had done, so frequently of late. However, surprisingly, she felt a pang of hunger and her mouth even watered a little. Harvey was holding a spoon out to her and he gave her a challenging look, as though daring her to refuse him.

"I had to carry you in, Donna. You can sit and eat here," he said firmly, but once again his tone was full of warmth and affection.

They ate in relative silence, Harvey ever watchful of Donna. She would normally have been slightly irritated by his surreptitious glances, which did little to hide how intent he was on ensuring she was definitely eating. However, with each mouthful, Donna realised just how hungry she had been, and it wasn't long before her bowl was empty.

"Good?" Harvey asked.

Donna nodded and she gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you," she said.

Harvey cleared the dishes and as Donna watched him once again, move about the kitchen, the nervousness she felt earlier intensified. He finished cleaning up, before making his way back into the open plan living room. She held her breath as he sat himself down next to her. He took her hand in his, and gently rubbed his thumb across the back of her palm as an awkward silence fell between them.

"How are you feeling?" Harvey asked finally.

Donna looked across at him, her head resting on the back of the couch. His thumb was still lazily drawing circles across her hand, each motion sending an electric current through her skin.

"Honestly? I ache. From head to toe. I think I was so tense for so long, that my muscles have now seized up," she chuckled lightly, but Harvey winced, concern etched into his features.

"Why don't I run you a bath?" he suggested, his eyes flicking up to meet her stare. "It might ease some of the stress and will probably help you sleep."

Donna swallowed down her nerves and she nodded. "That would be nice, Harvey. I was originally planning on having a bath before going to bed."

"Okay, then," he smiled, lifting her hand to his lips, turning it over and placing a kiss on her palm. They held each other's gaze for a moment. A moment that felt like an eternity to Donna, before he eventually broke their eye contact and he got up and made his way to the ensuite bathroom.

As soon as Harvey had left the room, Donna expelled a heavy breath that she hadn't realised she'd been holding. The tension between them was killing her.

Harvey was being attentive, gentle, and affectionate. But she was also sure he was holding back. He seemed apprehensive, almost guarded, and that didn't help the anxiety Donna was feeling. For every warm smile, for every loving gaze there was something else there, lurking behind his eyes. She couldn't place what it was, but she could tell that he was trying to keep whatever it was in check. Trying to keep it hidden from her. It was this hidden emotion that was causing the tension between them, she was sure of it.

She heard the sound of running water, and soon the sweet scent of bubble bath drifted through into the living room.

She lifted the blanket from her knees and slowly got up from the couch. God, she really did ache. It was as though her body had finally said, enough is enough, her muscles protesting as she stiffly made her way towards the bathroom.

She pushed the door open, and stepped into a cloud of steam. The scent already began to sooth her, as well as the anticipation of the hot soapy bubbles that awaited her aching bones. The bathroom was dotted with several candles that gave the room a warm and relaxing glow. Harvey was seated on the edge of the bath as he swirled the water with his hand, the tub already three-quarters full.

"Oh my God, it's like an olympic size swimming pool," she giggled and her hand flew up to her mouth. It was a sunken bath, with steps leading up to it. It had gilded taps and a jacuzzi feature and it was about the size of Wisconsin.

Harvey turned and looked over his shoulder at the sound of her voice. His eyebrows shot up but then he grinned.

"Of course it is. It's Louis, remember," he chuckled. He leant over and turned the water off, giving it a final swirl before stepping away and towards her.

"Okay, I've not made it too hot, so it should be okay. I did use almost a whole bottle of bubble bath, because like you say, you could fit all of the New York Yankees in this tub. Fresh towels are on the side there. Is there anything else you need?" he asked as he lifted his hand, and ran his fingers through her hair, before letting them linger on her cheek.

Donna swallowed. "Just you," she breathed.

Harvey froze and Donna noticed his breath hitch. She stepped towards him, closing the distance between them, and placed her own hand over his fingers that were still frozen in place, as they rested on her cheek.

"Donna." He whispered her name as though it was a warning. Once again she saw the veiled look behind his gaze. Frustration flared up in her throat, alongside a slight but stinging sense of rejection. She dropped her hand and turned away from him, her eyes cast down to the floor.

"Looks like I have everything, thanks, Harvey," she said a little too sharply.

"Hey," Harvey reached out and grabbed her elbow, turning her back toward him. "Don't do that," he said with a shake of his head.

"Don't do what?" she all but yelled, her arms outstretched.

"Shut yourself off from me," he said in earnest.

Donna stepped back, with a look of incredulous disbelief. "Me? I'm not the one shutting myself off, Harvey."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a frown, but Donna could already sense that he knew exactly what she meant.

Donna let out a sigh and closed her eyes. "Nothing, Harvey. It means nothing," she said resignedly. She moved across the room to the bathroom cabinet and wiped the steam from the mirror. She began to gather her hair up, twisting it up and fixing it in place. "How about some tea?" she managed to muster, a wobble to her voice.

Harvey appeared behind her then, and his eyes caught her sorrowful gaze in the reflection of the glass. He placed his hands gently on her waist, and pressed his lips to the back of her neck, sending an instant shiver down her spine.

"Do you think I don't want you?" he whispered against her skin.

Donna's breath caught in her throat, and she felt her heart rate increase at his words and his touch. She didn't answer him, but her eyes widened as they once again met his, which were now unmistakably dark with desire. He slid his hands from her waist and wrapped them around her front, pulling her gently back against him, as he continued to pepper her neck with soft kisses, his eyes never leaving hers.

Her skin was on fire, heat and desire pooling at the pit of her stomach, but as much as she wanted to surrender to his ministrations, she needed to know.

"Then why?" she murmured. "Why are you holding back from me, Harvey?"

He paused and sighed, resting his forehead momentarily on her shoulder before slowly turning her around.

He tilted his head and he just looked at her. She stared back into his deep brown eyes, studying him, trying to get a read on where his resistance and hesitation were coming from.

She saw it then, hidden behind the unmistakable desire. She saw the fear, and the worry, and she understood. His eyes always communicated more than his mouth ever could, and this time they were screaming his inner turmoil. He was struggling to come to terms with what had happened. He was battling with the reality of what she might have suffered. He was just simply petrified of hurting her.

She rested her hand on his chest and she looked up at him, answering his anxious stare with an intense gaze of her own.

"You could never hurt me, Harvey," she said.

"I think we both know that's not true," Harvey said bitterly.

"Not like _that_ you couldn't," she reassured.

Harvey shook his head slowly. "We need to talk, Donna. You need to rest, properly!" he said firmly. "And then we need to talk."

"I know," Donna said with a weak smile. "But right now, I just need you, Harvey. I'm tired, and I'm sore and I'm…" she sighed as she tried to find the right words. "I just... need you. With me...here."

Harvey eyed her intently then, and he swallowed heavily before nodding. "Okay," he whispered. He tugged her hand, pulling her closer to him and he kissed her gently, his tongue coaxing her mouth open and she instantly responded. Her eyes closed and she savoured the taste of him, their noses brushing as he changed the angle of their kiss, her fingers scraped the hair at the back of his neck and she moaned softly into his mouth.

This time Donna pulled away, and her eyes lingered on his lips before she stepped back from him. He watched her intently as she hooked her fingers underneath the hem of her sweater, and lifted it up over her head, before dropping it by her side. She met his eyes again as her fingers moved to the buttons of her jeans, gradually popping each one open, before slowly sliding them down to her ankles, and carefully stepping out of them.

Harvey was breathing heavily, his eyes still locked with hers. Donna faltered slightly, hesitating as she met his intense gaze. She'd never been shy around men, never self-conscious about her body or how she looked, always owning her beauty with confidence. However, this was Harvey, and the way he was staring at her now, with a look that spoke of both desire and tenderness, she suddenly felt her skin flush. It was a heady combination, this mix of lust and need but also love.

Harvey seemed to sense her sudden nervousness and he responded by lifting his hands and unbuttoning his shirt, their held gaze still unbroken.

They continued to undress in silence, the only sound being the occasional drip of water into the bath and the soft fizzing from the abundance of foamy bubbles that floated on the surface.

As Donna placed her underwear on the chair behind her and turned back to face Harvey, they stood for a moment, just a few feet apart, naked and hesitant. Harvey slowly lowered his eyes from Donna's apprehensive gaze, and a fleeting look of anguish flashed across his face as he took in some of the mottled bruises and marks that still punctuated her skin. He swallowed and took a steadying breath and Donna closed the distance between them, once again resting her hand gently on his chest.

"They'll heal," she whispered. "I'll heal… now that I have you," she said sincerely as she searched his eyes, eager to find evidence there, that he believed what she was telling him.

He nodded, covering her hand with his own and he placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Come on," he said in that low tone of his that always stoked the fire within her belly. "Let's get in before the water gets cold. I drained half the Hudson river filling this thing," he said with a smirk.

She giggled then, her laughter breaking some of the tension in the room and Harvey's smirk broke into a wide grin that lit up his face.

He took her hand and led her to the bath, climbing in first, before turning around and helping her step in front of him.

They lowered themselves into the tub, the water deliciously warm and soothing. There really was room enough for them both to swim from one end to the other, but instead, Harvey rested against the back of the tub, facing the window, and he pulled Donna towards him so that she sat with her back leaning into him, and she was fully enveloped in his embrace.

"You okay?" he whispered into her ear.

"M-hm," she mumbled, her eyes closed as she savoured not only the feeling of the warm, soapy water as it began to soothe her weary muscles, but also the feeling of Harvey wrapped around her. His strong arms circled her waist, whilst his legs hooked over hers at the ankles, essentially pinning her in place, but she'd never felt safer. Never felt so secure.

They lay like that for a considerable amount of time. Harvey would run his fingers across her arm, or across her stomach, each touch causing a spark of pleasure to ripple over Donna's skin. She kept her eyes closed, as she laid her head back onto his chest, luxuriating in the all encompassing feel of him, the scent of him, his warmth and his tender touch. Despite the knowledge that there was still so much unsaid between them, that there would undoubtedly be difficult conversations ahead, Donna had never felt so much at peace.

Harvey reached over the side of the bath and retrieved a honeycomb bath sponge, dipping it into the water and allowing it to soak up the bubbles before tenderly smoothing it over her skin in slow, deliberate circles. He started at her collar bone, sweeping it across and up under her chin, before moving down across her breasts, applying just enough pressure to cleanse and soothe her. Donna felt like she was floating on air rather than in water. She not only physically enjoyed his attentive caresses but the awareness alone that it was Harvey that was administering those sensual touches made her heart swell.

He moved to her shoulder, gently smoothing the sponge down her arm as he simultaneously placed his lips against the side of her neck, kissing the damp hairs there that were stuck to her skin. She exhaled a heavenly sigh, and gently squeezed his thigh with her hand in appreciation. She felt him smile against her skin, and she returned his smile with a soft chuckle. He continued to work down her arm, his movements deliberate but fluid, but then he reached her wrist and not only did he pause, but Donna felt his body tense up, and her eyes flashed open.

He must have realised that she had become aware of the sudden change, for he immediately resumed his gentle strokes as though nothing had happened, switching to her other arm as he placed another kiss to her forehead.

Donna wasn't fooled though, and she lifted the arm he had not long abandoned, out of the water and reached behind her to gently touch his face. "Harvey?" she questioned softly.

He paused again, and she heard him take a shuddering breath. He said nothing, but Donna could feel the tension rolling off of him and his movements were still frozen, the sponge hovering over her other wrist. Donna cast her eyes to where his hand was suspended, and a memory of him running his finger over the scars that adorned her skin there, flashed across her mind.

"Harvey," she uttered his name again, trying to ground him and jolt him out of his frozen state. "Talk to me."

Harvey dropped the sponge in the water and picked up her hand in his, once again tracing the still ugly scars that ran across the underside of her wrist. "You never answered me before, Donna. When I asked what they did to you...what else _he_ did to you." Harvey's voice was thick with emotion and laced with fear. There was also an unmistakable undercurrent of anger in his tone.

"I'm okay, Harvey," she whispered, fear striking at her heart. She wasn't ready to revisit those dark days in captivity, but she was also afraid of Harvey's reaction to anything she might say. She knew how protective he had always been of those he loved, but combined with the guilt that she knew still burned inside him, the two made for a volatile cocktail of emotions.

"You're _not._ You are pretty fucking far from okay, and you still haven't answered my question," Harvey said, his tone low and full of tension.

Donna felt a sudden tightness in her chest as his questioning doused her in a swathe of dread.

"What's the matter, Harvey? Are you worried I might be damaged goods?" Donna snapped, and she immediately sat forward away from him. She turned slightly and looked back at Harvey and the anger instantly drained from her face, to be replaced with remorse, when she saw the look of horror and then pain that had flooded his features. He stared at her open mouthed.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, shocked at her own words, at her retaliation to his probing. She took his hand and squeezed it, her eyes shimmering with tears. The shame of her reaction burning inside of her.

"Why would you say that?" Harvey asked with a distinct croak to his voice.

She knew why she had lashed out. Fear.

She hated what Samuel had done to her, how weak he had made her feel, and although she was well aware she would have to face what had happened to her at some point, she wasn't ready to do so now.

However, her ordeal wasn't the primary factor feeding her fear.

What she was most frightened of, and cripplingly so, was that Harvey would see her differently. Not in the way she had just cruelly indicated with her rash words. She knew Harvey would never consider her as damaged goods. No, she was frightened that her experience had changed her, Samuel had changed her. He had robbed her of who she had been, and now that she was fundamentally different, Harvey might not love this version of her as much.

She shook her head and she opened her mouth to answer him, but all she could muster was another apology. "I'm sorry, Harvey. I shouldn't have said that."

He tilted his head and he frowned. "Donna...I know that you don't want to talk about it, but it's eating me up. You wanted to know why I was holding back, this is why. I've spent nearly every waking moment sick to the stomach, wondering what he might have done to you." He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers, before taking a steadying breath and meeting her fearful eyes. "I want you, Donna. I love you, and I want you with every fibre of my being, but if I thought for one minute, that my touching you might—"

"He didn't, Harvey." She shook her head but she stared at him squarely in the eye, desperate that he understand. "He hurt me, in more ways than one, but he didn't do _that_ ," she assured.

Harvey visibly relaxed and he shut his eyes, expelling a deep breath that he had been holding on to. He lifted her hand, their fingers still intertwined and he turned it over, gently placing several kisses to her wrist, as though he were attempting to heal her scars with his lips. He looked up at her then and even though the tension he'd been clinging on to had dissipated, she still saw concern behind his eyes. She knew that he was still worried about what had happened to her, what she had suffered. She was well aware that he might fixate on the fact that she had inferred that Samuel had hurt her in numerous ways.

"I'm afraid," she said, deciding that it would be better to be honest with him, regardless of the outcome.

Harvey furrowed his brow and he lifted his other hand from the water and cupped her cheek. "You have nothing to be frightened of anymore, Donna. I promise you. No-one can hurt you now," he said confidently.

Donna shook her head. "That's not what I'm afraid of." She lowered her eyes and took a deep breath.

Harvey squeezed her hand gently, waiting for her to elaborate.

"I'm afraid that I've changed. That I'm not the same person anymore because _he_ changed me." She paused as she grappled with her words and Harvey's eyes filled with tenderness. She swallowed before continuing. "It's like I've lost myself. I'm all hollowed out. Donna's gone and I'm just an empty shell in her place, and it terrifies me. I'm petrified that I'll never get 'me' back." Her bottom lip quivered as she fought back the tears.

"Donna," he said, the timbre of his voice, low and gentle. "I may be a lawyer, not a psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure what you are feeling is normal considering all that you've been through. You're still you. You could never lose that. You've just suffered something extremely traumatic and it's going to take time before you start to feel better. But I'm here. I will be here, with you, every step of the way."

She nodded at him and gave him a watery smile, his words allaying some of the fear that she felt.

Harvey studied her face and then tugged her hand gently, but with enough force that she was drawn into his lap, her legs straddling him, the momentum causing some of the water to splash over the sides of the tub.

Donna gasped at the sudden movement and they stared at one another, caught in the moment, the warm light from the flickering candles dancing in each other's eyes. As it had always been between them, they didn't need any more words, a look of understanding passed between them, and as both their breathing accelerated, Harvey's hands circled around her back and he coaxed her head down to meet his, so that he could capture her lips.

The kiss was slow, soft and reassuring, and as their tongues met, Donna savoured the moment. The feel of his bare chest against her breasts, the fire on her skin as he traced his fingers down her back, the softness of his hair as she ran her fingers across his scalp, the slight stubble on his cheek as she cradled his jaw, and the proof of his want as she felt his stiffening desire between her thighs.

She lifted herself slightly before grinding back down on his lap, and he groaned into her mouth, his arms tightening around her as he thrust against her in response. She whispered his name, almost in prayer when his lips left hers, only for them to reconnect with her cheek and then her neck as he peppered her skin with open mouthed kisses.

Her head fell back and she arched into him, biting her lip while his tongue did a sensual dance across her now highly sensitised skin. She drew her hands from his head and neck, letting them linger down his chest as Harvey turned his attention to her breasts. He ran his hand slowly down the valley between them, before gently massaging one as his mouth worshipped the other, his tongue caressing then flicking her nipple, causing goosebumps to flare up all over her body.

Her head fell forward then and she took his face in her hands, drawing his mouth back towards her own, desperate to feel his lips on hers once more. This time the kiss was more urgent, need and desire overwhelming them both as Donna rocked back and forth on his lap, seeking friction. Harvey groaned and he tugged her bottom lip between his teeth as his hands now ghosted along her thighs, his fingers spread out as though he were desperate to feel every inch of her.

Their mouths were open as they kissed, their breaths hot and frantic as the passion between them intensified. The water lapped repeatedly over the bath as their movements became more frenetic. They were all hands, teeth, lips, and tongues. Both of them desperate to quench the thirst of more than twelve years of longing and need. Wanting but never able to touch. Never allowed to caress each other's skin, or to feel the pounding of each other's heartbeat.

Donna was now burning with desire and want, heat pooled at her core and as Harvey traced his hand across her stomach and dipped his fingers down between her legs, she gasped into his mouth, halting her rocking motion momentarily. She locked eyes with him, his usual brown orbs now jet black with lust, yet still dripping with devotion and tenderness. He held her gaze as he began gently circling his thumb across her clit, her breaths now coming in short bursts as waves of pleasure coursed through her. He teased her entrance before slipping first one, and then two fingers inside of her, gently curling them just so, causing her to shudder and tremble at the sheer intensity of pleasure his ministrations were creating. She gripped his shoulders, clawing at his skin as she slowly rode his hand. She felt the heat building inside of her, the first tinglings as the familiar coil tightened in her abdomen.

Her head sunk into his neck and her muffled moans blended with the sounds of the water lapping against their bodies, as Harvey coaxed her closer to the edge.

"I've got you, Donna," Harvey whispered into her ear, and that was all it took for her to come undone, his deep soft velvety voice igniting the spark, and she cried out his name, her arms wrapped around his neck. He held her tightly as she rode out her orgasm, her breathing rapid and her limbs trembling. As she slowly came down from her high, she leant back slightly and they caught each other's gaze. Harvey brushed his nose against hers and smiled at her and the sweet action caused her to immediately crush her lips against his, her heart bursting with love for him.

He chuckled against her lips, and he brushed the hair from her damp and dewy skin. "You okay?" he asked, searching her eyes.

She answered him by peppering his face with kisses, and she shifted her body slightly, once again causing friction between them. "I most definitely am," she murmured into his mouth and she lifted her hips slightly, dropping her hand between them and then wrapping her fingers around him.

Harvey groaned, his breath stuttering as she pumped him slowly, all the while their tongues did a merry dance.

"Donna," he panted, his voice thick with desire as she stroked him up and down.

"Donna, I need you. I need you now."

She released her hold on him, and they paused for a moment, catching their breaths, before Harvey ran his hands down from her waist to her thighs, gently squeezing them as he nodded to her, and she maneuvered above him.

They stared deeply into each other's eyes, a thousand words of love and pure devotion silently spoken as Donna slowly sunk down onto him.

They both gasped, holding on to each other, savouring the moment. Donna's eyes glistened with tears as the feeling of them finally uniting, threatened to overwhelm her. They both stilled, and Harvey reached his hand up to caress her cheek, his questioning gaze searching her eyes, checking that she was okay.

She nodded and then slowly began to move, her hips rocking back and forth as waves of delicious pleasure washed over her with every motion.

Harvey sat forward, his arms circling around her body tightly, his hands stroking down her back and in her hair, cradling her neck so that he could change the angle of their kiss, deepening it with every sigh and moan. They were as close to each other as they could possibly be, skin on skin, their breaths mingled, their touches lighting fires in their wake.

Their rhythm increased, and then became more erratic as Harvey lifted his hips lightly, thrusting deeper inside her and he groaned, the sound smothered against her skin as her head tilted back and his lips rested against her throat.

Donna felt the delicious build of pure carnal pleasure once again and she sensed Harvey was close too as he slowed his thrusts. He took one of her hands, pinning it behind her back as they interlaced their fingers, before picking up the pace again.

She looked down at the man she was desperately in love with, as he filled her, surrounded her, worshipped her. It was in that moment that realisation hit. He was hers, and she was his, and her breath caught as she reached her peak. She cried out his name as the most intense wave of pleasure crashed over her. Her walls contracted around him, and Harvey soon followed suit, a loud guttural groan erupted from his throat as he spilled inside of her.

Their movements slowed, their chests rising and falling rapidly as they were both barely able to catch their breath. They clung to each other with every last ounce of energy that had left, limbs trembling.

Harvey lifted his head from her collar bone where it had been resting and as he met her post coital gaze, he cradled her face once more and placed the softest kiss against her swollen lips.

He then rested his forehead against hers as they continued to pant, their heartbeats steadily slowing as they came down from their high.

"The water's gone cold," he whispered.

Donna burst out laughing and she nodded in agreement. "Hardly surprising, we've been in here a while."

"Hmm," he mumbled. He tilted his head, gesturing to the room. "We might have made a bit of a mess too."

Donna looked over the side of the bath, and she bit her lip at the sight of the soaked floor, pools of water and soapy bubbles, everywhere. "Ooops,"she said with a coy smile.

Harvey waggled his eyebrows at her and he chuckled before pulling her closer and brushing her nose with his own. "Clean up can wait until the morning. I think that it might be time for bed."

Donna closed her eyes and she sighed. "I think this might be the most tired I have ever been in my life."

Harvey quirked an eyebrow and he flashed her a smug grin. Donna slapped his chest. "You are unbelievable." She giggled.

His eyes twinkled and he leant forward and kissed her once more, before immediately standing up, more water sloshing out of the tub. He stepped out of the bath and reached for the towels, passing her one and then helping her out too.

They both took the opportunity to dry each other off, not seeming to want to stop touching each other for more than a few seconds. Every now and then, Harvey would lean down and steal a kiss, or brush his lips against her back, or her arms and Donna felt the electric shock of his touches every time. If she hadn't been so bone wearily tired, she might have coerced him into round two.

As Harvey finished drying off her shoulders, she suddenly let out a stifling yawn and he paused his movements.

"Sorry," she said, her hand across her mouth.

Harvey smirked, and then with a devilish grin, he suddenly lifted her off her feet and into his arms. She let out a tiny squeal, not expecting the sudden action.

"Bed!" he announced as he strode towards the bedroom, but he faltered when he reached the king-sized bed that resided there.

He let out a deep groan and his face screwed up in disgust.

"What's the matter?"

"Do we really have to spend our first night together in Louis's bed?" he moaned.

Donna snorted out a laugh and she planted a kiss on his lips as she continued to giggle. "Harvey Reginald Specter, stop being ridiculous. Just goddamn take me to bed now, or lose me forever."


	24. Chapter 24

* * *

" _Are you sure about this, Harvey?"_

"Mike—"

" _I know_ _ **why**_ _you're doing it. I get it, I really do. But have you honestly thought this through?"_

"What's there to think about? It's been a long time coming."

" _I know, but Harvey, this is huge. What you're doing..."_ Mike paused as though trying to find the right words. _"You won't be able to come back from this."_

"I'm totally fine with it, Mike, and to be honest, I'm a little surprised that you're not 100% on board too." Harvey didn't attempt to hide his irritation.

" _I never said I wasn't—"_

"You didn't have to. I can hear it, loud and clear, in that judgemental tone of yours."

" _If you're totally fine with it, answer me this,"_ Mike retorted, choosing to ignore Harvey's barb, _"Does Donna know?"_

Harvey didn't answer. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, switching his phone from one ear to the next as he hesitated, taking his turn in trying to find the right words.

" _I didn't think so,"_ Mike spoke into the silence.

"I'll talk to her, once it's done. Until then, It goes without saying that I expect you to keep it to yourself." Harvey said abruptly.

" _Hiding stuff from her, hasn't gone well for you in the past, Harvey. You need to talk to her. Besides, if you're keeping this from her, that tells me you know that she wouldn't approve."_

"Yeah, well, I don't want relationship advice, Mike. I can watch Oprah, for that."

" _Oh my God...you watch Oprah?"_

"Okay, are we done here? I think Ray wants to talk to me about his hernia, and that sounds more appealing than continuing this conversation."

Mike gave a soft chuckle. _"Point taken. Just promise me you'll think about it Harvey, okay? You were the one that told me that Donna has always been your moral compass. She's always steered you in the right direction. You should discuss this with her before you pull the trigger."_

"I need to do this, Mike. There's nothing to discuss." Harvey had switched back into business mode, sending Mike the message that their chat was over.

Mike sighed heavily. _"Okay, Harvey. Let me know how it goes."_

"Will do."

Harvey hung up and he dropped his head back against the seat. He lifted his hand up and rubbed his forehead, conscious of the headache that had started to build there.

"We're only about fifteen minutes away, Harvey," Ray called from the front of the car.

"Thanks, Ray."

Harvey wound the window down slightly, the fresh air instantly helping to sharpen his tired mind.

It had been two weeks since he turned up at Louis's beach house in search of Donna, with a determination in his step, and hope in his heart. There had been a million and one things he wanted to say to her, and even though they had hardly spent any time apart since that night, they'd still hardly managed to talk about the events of the last few months.

He thought back to that night, which had been both exhilarating and emotionally draining for him. He'd told her he loved her. That fact was undeniable. He wasn't sure the precise moment that he had become aware that she owned his heart. The realisation had been gradual, but once he had faced what he truly wanted, he was well aware that the love he felt for her, had been there for a very long time.

The sight of her on that beach, worn down and broken had cut him to his core. He knew how hurt she was, he'd seen the pain behind her eyes and the fragile wall she built around herself the day he'd come to her apartment. But on that beach, she was completely broken. Then when she'd turned and tried to run from him, desperation consumed him. He needed her to know, he needed her to see and he needed her whole again.

That evening had been a revelation to him. From fear, worry, and anguish he'd found ecstasy and a joy that he never thought genuinely existed, let alone were possible for him. Finding real love was not something he'd ever seen in his future. From his screwed up childhood to his propensity to screw lots of women, instant gratification and the pleasure he'd always taken from making a woman feel good was the nearest thing to happiness he ever thought he'd have.

Once he'd reconciled with his mother, he allowed himself to believe that maybe something less superficial was possible for him. Maybe a relationship could have its perks and its value, and Paula had been his attempt at that. However, Paula had been nothing more than safe and comfortable. He'd convinced himself that that was all he needed. That safe and comfortable would be enough for him. All that he was capable of.

The night at the beach house with Donna had flipped all of that on its head. He knew that he was in love with her, he already realised that he'd never had feelings like that for anyone else before, not even close, but even so, that night was like an epiphany. The intensity of feeling, the all-encompassing need for her, to be with her in every possible way, had floored him.

He'd always had the impulse to protect Donna, and he realised now, that his protectiveness had been born out of his unconscious, but deep-seated love for her. However, as he'd laid in bed, watching her sleep that night, he'd been overwhelmed by how fiercely he felt the need to keep her safe. Not just from harm and pain, but the desire to comfort her and hold her, to just simply love her was so all consuming that it had startled him.

She had slept well that night. He suspected that it was the first proper night's rest she'd had in a very long time. He hadn't. Torn between his desire to watch her sleep, to check that she was okay and also troubled still, by thoughts of her ordeal and the ramifications of everything that had happened, he'd lain awake most of the night.

Donna's words had reverberated around his head. Her fears that she had changed, that she was lost. He truly believed that she was wrong, she was just suffering the aftereffects of her trauma, but still, it had made his heart ache to see the anguish behind her eyes, and all he wanted to do was reassure and comfort her.

He'd hoped that they would begin to talk things through the next day. They were both fully committed to each other but in order to move forward with their new relationship, they needed to address the past. He knew it was daunting. Her kidnapping alone was enough ammunition for a year's worth of therapy, but he suspected that it was the months prior to the whole Karimov ordeal that were really going to be the toughest to deal with.

But, the talk never came.

They'd made love the following morning. She'd woken and they'd kissed, they'd touched, whispered, moaned, and sighed. Their passion for each other was indisputable. It was powerful, almost heart stoppingly so. Harvey had never forgotten the other time, the bittersweet memory had always been there, even if forcibly buried under a mountain of regret and what if's. He'd known, deep down, all along that what they experienced that night, all those years ago, was special. The connection between them, intensely different from anything he'd experienced before or after. That passion had been rekindled between them at the beach house, only this time there was no denying it. There was no pretending that what they had was just amazing sex and nothing more. Part of Harvey's epiphany had been recognizing that soul mates truly did exist and he had found his. The thought filled him with joy every day. He knew he was a lucky bastard, especially considering all that he'd done to not only almost ruin the best friendship he'd ever had, but also hurt the person that meant the most to him.

Yet there she had been, lying beneath him, the most beautiful creature he'd ever set eyes on, a fact he'd always known but never been able to admit to himself. Her red hair fanned across the pillow like flames, her soft alabaster skin sprinkled with freckles that he absolutely adored, her swollen kissed lips and sparkling hazel eyes that spoke of love and desire, her long limbs wrapped around him, anchoring him to her, bringing him home with every thrust. He really was the luckiest bastard alive.

And still... the talk never came.

They relished in each other. They went from barely touching to barely being able to stop. Making breakfast, watching a movie, walking on the beach, talking in the car, getting showered and changed. Every moment was accompanied by a hand-hold, a brush of fingers, a caress of the cheek, a peck on the lips. They orbited each other and it was seamless.

But they didn't talk.

They left Louis's beach house after three days and decamped back to Donna's apartment. Harvey called Robert and they agreed he would take a week's leave. They visited her parents, Clara understandably elated that her daughter was out of danger, and shamelessly gushing that Donna and Harvey had finally found each other. Jim was less ecstatic with the situation, although the two men reached an understanding. Donna's father forever indebted to Harvey for saving his daughter's life, Harvey still feeling regretful and responsible for her being in danger in the first place. After Harvey had embraced both her parents and apologised once again for the situation they had found themselves in, he thought, on their drive back from Connecticut, that his parting words to Clara and Jim might finally instigate the talk. It had started to become the elephant in the room, but every time Harvey tried to steer their conversation that way, Donna would find a way to shut him down.

A week had passed and Harvey could feel the tension building between them again. The unaddressed aftermath of the kiss, Paula, and the cruel way he'd treated her was just one part of it. Then, Donna's nightmares had started the second night they spent together. This hadn't come as much of a shock, the kidnapping was a horrific experience to have endured, and he was almost expecting it. However, her garbled shouts and cries had caused Harvey to suspect that it was shooting Samuel that was the primary cause of her night terrors.

She always claimed not to remember, the next morning, and seemed more concerned that she was waking Harvey from his sleep. Harvey had used the opportunity a few times to mention some of the things she had screamed out, hoping it would instigate a conversation, but she would react with agitation and something akin to panic and he would quickly drop the subject.

Samantha had asked him outright whether Donna was suffering nightmares. She had called Harvey up regarding a case at the firm, and after asking Harvey how Donna was doing, she just came out and asked outright. He'd been surprised at how perceptive she was, until Samantha had mentioned that she'd seen it on more than one occasion, when on active duty in Iraq.

" _Killing another human being, no matter how justified, can eat away at you, Harvey. It takes a piece of you, and I've seen many trained soldiers struggle to come to terms with it, let alone a civilian. You need to get her to seek professional help, otherwise it's only going to get worse."_

This had jolted Harvey. So entrenched in the knowledge that it was simply self-defense, he hadn't properly considered the mental after-effects of such an act. After a further night of listening to her screams, trying to hold and pacify her as she thrashed about in terror, and now becoming ever more frightened that these unaddressed issues might potentially damage their fledgling relationship, he decided that something had to give.

He had no intention of running away from their issues and he was equally determined that he wouldn't let Donna do so, either. So one evening, as they were curled up together on her couch, watching the Mets whip the Yankees, he swallowed his nerves and dared to broach the idea of therapy to her.

Donna had paled, her body turning rigid and she was quick to dismiss his suggestion, citing 'not being ready' as her reasons.

" _Donna. If you won't talk to me, you need to at least talk to someone."_

" _I'm not ready, Harvey. It's too painful."_

" _The pain won't go away if you don't open up about it. Please, Donna."_

She'd then tried to deflect by claiming that she couldn't open up to a stranger, so Harvey had suggested Lipschitz. Donna might not have actually met the man herself, but she knew how much he had helped Louis and Harvey, and that knowledge could help her feel more comfortable talking to him. She had hesitated at his suggestion, and Harvey took the opportunity to flash her his best puppy dog eyes. He practically begged her. She eventually acquiesced.

Donna kept her promise and had seen Lipschitz twice in the following week. She didn't discuss their sessions, which Harvey understood and respected, but he did notice a slight ease in the tension that had built between them. Harvey had also resumed his own therapy sessions and after an intense appointment, where he'd run through all his worries and fears concerning his new relationship with Donna, Stan had tentatively suggested that when the time was right, a joint appointment might be prudent, providing they were both happy with the idea.

Harvey hadn't suggested it to Donna yet, just like he hadn't mentioned what he was planning on doing today. He knew Mike was right when he'd called him out on the fact that the reason he hadn't mentioned it was because he knew Donna would disapprove. However, rather than dwell on that notion, he decided he'd just add it to the long list of things they hadn't discussed yet. It was weak reasoning, but it worked for him. He had no intention of second-guessing himself. This was too important.

The car had come to a stop, and Ray turned in his seat and nodded to Harvey.

"Okay, Boss?"

Harvey gave his faithful driver a tight smile. "Thanks, Ray. I don't think I'll be too long."

"What about Miss Paulsen, Harvey? Does she still need picking up?"

"She's having lunch with Louis. If we're not done here in time, he'll make sure she gets back home safely. But I really don't think this will take long."

With a final nod to Ray, he stepped out of the car and into the bright sunlight. He buttoned up his coat, the cold December air biting his skin.

He strode with purpose towards the huge metal gates before him, and as they buzzed open, he felt a quiver of anticipation, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

After passing through security, and providing all the necessary paperwork, he collected his visitors' accreditation and was soon seated at a metal table, drumming his fingers as he patiently waited. He wasn't nervous, but he was on edge. A promise needed to be kept and the prospect of realising it in the next few minutes had him anxious and a little wired.

A door opened at the end of the long, open atrium he was sitting in, and he looked up, his face impassive save for the slightest smirk at the corner of his mouth. Harvey said nothing as the prisoner strolled casually towards him before taking a seat at the table. He was wearing a more obvious sneer, and he leaned back nonchalantly in his chair as he eyed Harvey up and down before speaking.

"Harvey Specter," he said with a curl of his lip. "Long time no see."

"How's it going, Charles?"

"Oh, I'm just dandy, Harvey. To what do I owe this pleasure? Change your mind about that pool game I offered you? The stakes have been raised since I last saw you. We're going for $20,000 a game now. "

"I think I'll still pass," Harvey said, his tone cool, but his eyes were lit with fire.

"What the hell do you want?"

Harvey gave a shrug. "I came here to tell you that you're done, Charles. You've reached the end of the road. It's over."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Forstman replied, still smirking, his cold blue eyes not wavering from Harvey's.

"Oh, we both know that's not true. Word must have reached you by now that your little plan to destroy me failed spectacularly. I have to admit, I'm surprised you're not wearing a black armband, you know... in memory of your brother." Harvey tilted his head, and he clicked his fingers as though a thought had just occurred to him. "Of course, how stupid of me. I keep forgetting that you don't give a shit about anybody but yourself."

"Is that all? I'm kinda busy right now." Charles smirked.

"It's over. You played your last hand in a dangerous game and you lost."

"You think this is over? I'm never gonna stop coming for you, Harvey. It's my favourite hobby."

"You don't get it do you, Charles? There's no coming back from this. You've brought about your own ruin. You really couldn't stomach the fact that I beat you, and your obsession with seeking revenge has monumentally backfired."

"I have just a few months of my sentence left, unlimited resources at my disposal, and a determination to see you completely destroyed."

Harvey shook his head and his own smirk mirrored Forstman's. "That's where you're wrong, Charles. Your sentence has been extended, by quite a considerable amount—"

"Bullshit."

Harvey felt his excitement build, and his smile widened. "You committed a federal crime, Charles. You instigated and arranged the attempted murder of Jim Paulsen—"

"Bullshit again. All I did was finance a business deal."

"A business deal with an organised criminal gang. A criminal gang that also kidnapped, assaulted, and threatened the life of Donna Paulsen."

Forstman's own smile had long faded and his eyes flashed with something akin to regret. "I had nothing to do with that, and you damn well know it. You can't pin that on me."

"Can't I? It was your brother that abducted her, Charles. Your brother, Samuel Lang, who was working for you, answering to you. Your brother, that was promised the Karimov empire once the deal was done. Blackmail, Coercion, money laundering, fraud, kidnapping, and attempted murder. It all leads back to you. You instigated this and now you have blood on your hands."

Charles continued to stare Harvey down. "That's a great story, but you have no proof. Like you said, Samuel is dead. Maxim is dead. So it's my word against Roman's and with his infamously violent criminal background, and my extensive army of the best criminal lawyers money can buy, I'll take my chances."

"Oh, you'll take your chances alright. Because while you await trial with your expensive lawyers and your endless pot of money, you'll be doing it from somewhere other than here." Harvey leant across the table and his voice dropped menacingly low. "You not only crossed me for the last time, you also made the fatal move of endangering the life of Donna. And there is no way in hell, I'm ever gonna let you get away with that. So, in three days' time, you're being transferred from this little cushy number here. You're going to Rikers, and we both know that's a hell hole reserved for only the worst scum of society."

Forstman's eyes widened and for the first time in their long and troubled history, Harvey saw a crack in Charles's steely resolve. Harvey leant in even further and his eyes narrowed.

"Don't worry though, Charles. You won't be alone. Roman Karimov will also be at Rikers, awaiting his trial and I'm sure he can't wait to discuss your respective cases with you. I reckon he's especially eager to tell you what he thinks about the fact that you planned to double-cross him by replacing him with your brother."

"You can't do that," Charles retorted, his breathing already rapid as the implications of what Harvey was saying, began to sink in. "A transfer can only be authorised by the Bureau of—"

"Prisons...yeah, I know. Well guess what, Charles? You're not the only one with connections. It's happening. You once told me that you always hold the power because..what was it? 'Nobody _doesn't_ give a shit about money'. Well, I can tell you now, that _Roman_ doesn't give a shit about money. He's facing the death penalty, or at best, life without parole. All he cares about is revenge," Harvey said, his voice soft and sinister. "So, you might have the money and connections to build the best goddamn defense team this country has ever seen, but I'm betting you won't survive a week in there, let alone ever get to see one day in court."

Forstman paled.

Harvey got up then, his chair scraping behind him. The adrenaline was pumping through his veins, mixed with an acute sense of euphoria. The tables had finally been turned and he realised there was little more satisfying in the world than delivering this type of heavy justice to such a vindictive bastard.

"Goodbye Charles. I won't wish you the best. I think we both know that I hope you rot in hell."

Harvey turned then and began to walk away, his fingers twitching and his heart racing.

"You do this, Harvey, and it will be _you_ with blood on your hands."

Harvey hesitated and he looked over his shoulder at his old adversary one last time. "As long as it's your blood, Charles."

* * *

Donna twiddled the pasta around her fork, taking her time over the action. More time than she needed to, but the process disguised the fact that she hadn't eaten very much of her food.

She'd struggled with her appetite of late. It wasn't consciously done, and she was trying to make sure she ate something every day, especially as the concerned looks from Harvey whenever they sat down to a meal were starting to rankle.

Fortunately, Louis had hardly stopped to draw breath the whole time they had been sat in Per Se, his favourite New York restaurant. So visibly happy that she had agreed to meet him for lunch and eager to hear all about her budding relationship with Harvey, he'd been excitable and effusive, and she was therefore pretty sure he hadn't noticed her disinclination to eat.

"So what did you think of the beach house?" Louis asked as he stabbed a piece of avocado with his fork.

"It was beautiful, Louis, thank you. Very stylish and incredibly calm and relaxing."

"Of course it is. I feng shuied the shit out of it after Tara and I split up."

Donna smiled and gave a little chuckle. "Well, it worked. Although I have to ask, what is up with that bath of yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"The size of it, Louis. It's not much smaller than my whole apartment."

Louis frowned as he considered Donna's words. "Your point?"

"I _mean_ , it's an unfeasibly large bath."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's perfectly sized for a man of my stature and specific needs. Particularly when you consider that Sheila and I like to—"

"Okay, I don't think you need to elaborate any further. How about we change the subject." Donna interrupted, alarm bells ringing.

Louis merely shrugged before selecting another piece of food from his plate. "Whatever you say. We could talk about when you're coming back to work," he said, popping the fork into his mouth.

Donna felt her stomach flip and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she dropped her eyes to her own plate.

Louis stopped mid chew and his frown deepened. "Wait. You _are_ coming back to work, Donna. That's not in question."

"I don't know, Louis. I resigned, remember?"

Louis's fork clattered on the plate. "That was bullshit. Tell me Harvey didn't tear that resignation letter up the minute he saw you."

This time it was Donna's turn to shrug. "I don't know, Louis. We haven't discussed it."

"What do you mean, you haven't discussed it? Why the fuck not?"

Donna felt her anxiety levels begin to rise, the now, all too familiar, uneasy feeling in her stomach flare up. It happened whenever she was pushed to discuss anything that involved recent, painful events.

"It just hasn't come up. We haven't found the right time." She resumed twisting her pasta, deliberately avoiding Louis's bewildered stare.

"It's been two weeks, Donna. How could you have avoided it for this long?"

"We haven't really talked about anything, yet. We've just enjoyed being together, and that's what I've needed. The rest is… complicated."

Louis squinted at Donna, pursing his lips in anticipation of challenging her further, but he seemed to think better of it, and nodded instead.

"Harvey tells me that you've started to see Stan."

Donna smiled, grateful for the change in conversation. "I have. I was a bit reticent at first, but I'm happy to say that he's been a great help already. He really is a wonderful therapist, Louis. I understand now, why he means so much to you. It was good of you to recommend him to both Harvey and I."

Louis grimaced slightly. "Yeah, he's really great. The amount of work I've sent his way, I should charge the shyster a referral fee," he said with a scowl.

"Louis!" Donna gasped but she followed it with a giggle.

"I'm serious…Oh Hey!" Louis was looking over her shoulder, and Donna turned to see Harvey approaching their table.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He was in his navy blue, three-piece, Tom Ford suit, and his long black cashmere coat. The same outfit that he wore the night he came asking for her key, and the memory of that night immediately caused the butterflies in her stomach to be replaced with a heavy dose of anxiety. Not only was that still a painful memory, but just as she had noted that night, she recognised that it was the suit he always chose to wear when he was readying himself for battle.

"Hey," he said with a smile, leaning down and placing a tender kiss to her lips. She momentarily pushed her anxiety aside and revelled in the feel of his lips on hers. Her eyes sparkled and she smiled warmly into the kiss. She's sure she will never tire of him greeting her that way.

"I thought you'd be finished by now," he said, eyeing their plates. "I can ask Ray to drive me once more around the block, if you like," he added with a grin, but Donna didn't fail to notice the way his eyes had lingered on her almost full plate of food.

"It's okay, Harvey," Louis answered. "I'm done and I don't think Donna is going to eat any more anyway. She's done nothing but play with her food since it arrived. I told you not to order the fettucini, it's nowhere near as good as it used to be. Ever since Matteo left to open his own restaurant, the pasta here tastes like my Aunt Freida's feet."

"Louis, it's your favourite restaurant!" Donna said with a chuckle, trying to ignore the fact that Harvey had visibly tensed at Louis's observation that she hadn't eaten anything.

"And Freida is my favourite Aunt, but that doesn't mean she has great feet."

"Okay, I think we're done here," Harvey said with a roll of his eyes. "You ready to go?" He turned to Donna, his voice gentle and warm, but already, Donna could see the concern behind his eyes.

She nodded to him before reaching over the table to grasp Louis's hand.

"Thank you, Louis. Not just for lunch today, but for everything you've done for us."

Louis nodded, his eyes glistening with emotion and he lifted her hand and placed a kiss to the back of her palm. "I'm always here for you, Donna."

She squeezed his hand and nodded, before standing to join Harvey.

"Hey, Harvey," Louis said as they turned to leave. "Robert tells me that you are back at the firm on Monday. Maybe we should finally have that partner's meeting. We still have a vote to decide."

"I know, Louis. I'll schedule it for the end of the week," he acknowledged with a thin smile.

"Great. Will our COO be there too?"

Donna's parting smile faded, and she glared at Louis. Silently communicating that she was far from happy that he would bring the matter up so blatantly.

Louis looked unapologetic as he glanced between his two friends, waiting for one of them to answer.

Harvey's expression hardened, and Donna wasn't sure whether it was at the prospect of her possibly returning to work, or Louis asking the awkward question.

"We'll let you know," he answered, then took Donna's hand and led her from the restaurant.

They sat in the back of the Lexus in relative silence, their hands intertwined, Harvey casually running his thumb across her palm. The physical action had become the norm for them, and it always helped to soothe her, calm her fears and worries. Unfortunately, the silence between them had also become routine, and that wasn't as comforting. She knew that it was predominantly her fault that they had yet to talk about any of their issues, but every time she thought that it might be the right time to broach one of the many subjects they needed to discuss, fear gripped her throat and she found that she would just clam up.

She'd mentioned it briefly to Stan, and while he had assured her that it was totally normal to feel that way, he'd also told her that despite it being challenging, talking through everything that they needed to, was necessary. He confirmed what she already believed, that the longer she left it, the more difficult it would become and the more strain it would put on their relationship.

"We're not going back to mine?" she abruptly asked, as she suddenly became aware of the direction Ray was driving.

Harvey squeezed her hand and tilted his head, catching her questioning gaze. "I thought we could go back to my place today. For a change."

He held her gaze, a look of apprehension in his eyes. Donna sensed he was trying to gauge her response.

"But I… I don't have any of my things."

"Don't worry. I picked up that emergency overnight bag that you keep under your bed," he said with a slight twitch of his lips.

"Oh."

"Donna," he said, using that tone that always made her weak at the knees. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered too quickly.

"Then why do I get the feeling that coming back to my place is the last thing that you want to do?"

Donna bit her lip and she turned and looked out of the window. Her stomach was doing somersaults and she was finding it difficult to process the reasons why the thought of going to Harvey's condo was making her anxious, so how the hell could she explain it to him?

"It's fine, Harvey, really. I guess I've just got used to us being at my apartment, and this just feels a little...different."

It wasn't a lie. With Harvey on a sabbatical from work, they'd almost been in a bubble cooped up in her apartment. It had become a kind of sanctuary to her. Staying at his place was a reminder that there was still a world outside of that bubble. A world that needed to be faced.

However, as she leant closer into him and rested her head on his shoulder, she knew it wasn't the main reason she felt uneasy. The main reason was Paula.

Until very recently, Harvey's condo had been transformed from the ultimate bachelor pad into a home that he had shared with his girlfriend. It had been Paula's home too, and even though she didn't doubt that Paula had removed all traces of herself from his apartment, Donna still felt uncomfortable at the notion of walking into the home that they had shared together.

At her own apartment, she had forced herself to not think about Paula, even though his ex-girlfriend was one of the subjects she knew they still had to talk about. The memory of that time when he was with her, still caused her pain. In her own place, she could avoid thinking about it. At his condo, she would be confronted with it, and the thought of recalling all those painful emotions made her feel nauseous.

Harvey kissed her forehead and then placed a finger under her chin, tilting it up so that he could meet her eyes. "Hey, it'll be great. We're gonna spend the rest of the afternoon watching Survivor, since you wouldn't let me catch up with it all week. You can tell me all about your lunch with Louis and whether he's realized yet that we wrecked his bathroom, and then tonight, I'm going to cook you dinner." He gave her his widest smile and Donna couldn't help but let the warmth and charm of it quash some of those fears. Just being with him, just being held by him always made her feel better.

She held onto that, just as she held on to his hand as they made their way into his apartment building. Her other hand reached around and gripped his arm too, as they rode the elevator. She guessed that Harvey had picked up on her nervousness, but he didn't say anything. It wasn't until they walked through his front door, and rounded the corner into his living room, that her step faltered and she took a steadying breath.

Harvey felt the pull from her hand where she'd halted and he turned back to face her.

"There's something more, isn't there?" he deduced as he studied her face. "There's something else that's bothering you."

Donna felt a sense of dread at where this conversation might be heading. She still wasn't ready to talk to him about Paula, so she decided on the spot to tackle a different issue, something that had been bugging her since he had arrived at Per Se to collect her.

"Where did you go today, Harvey?"

"What?"

"When we left my apartment earlier today, you weren't wearing that suit. It also isn't one of the ones you've been keeping at my apartment, which means you came back here, specifically to change into it. Why? Where did you go?"

Harvey didn't flinch at her line of questioning, but he didn't answer her straight away either, he merely tilted his head as he looked back at her.

"That's your battle suit," she continued. "It's always the one you choose to wear when you're readying for combat, or you're going in for the kill. So, tell me, where did you go today?"

"Donna!" Harvey said her name in warning, his lips in a thin line and his jaw rigid.

"Harvey!"

He stepped away from her, removing his coat and jacket and averting his eyes from her probing gaze. "I had to take care of something. It's nothing you need to worry about."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Harvey. Have you forgotten that I can read you like a book? What are you hiding from me? You need to talk to me."

He whipped around then and looked at her with wide, indignant eyes. " _I_ need to talk to _you_? That's pretty rich coming from you, Donna."

She took a step back from him then, the whiplash from his words temporarily silencing her.

Harvey immediately cringed at her reaction and he strode over to her, wrapping his arms around her, and dipping his head so that his nose was buried in her hair and his lips were close to her ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whispered to her. "That wasn't fair. I'm so sorry."

She lifted her arms and returned his embrace, running her fingers down the soft silk of the back of his waistcoat. His words had stung, but she felt the truth of them. She was asking him to open up to her when she'd done nothing but spend the last two weeks shutting him down when he had tried to do the same. Each time he had attempted to coax her to open up and talk, she had deflected, diverted, or just plain refused, and he hadn't argued or pushed her.

She reached up and kissed him, holding his face in her hands as she did so. Reassuring him that she was okay. "You're right, and I'm sorry. I'm the one not being fair," she whispered back as her lips left his. "If you say that it's nothing for me to worry about, then that's fine."

He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, as he continued to hold her. She moved to kiss him again, but he pulled back, causing her to frown.

"I went to see Forstman."

Donna felt a spike of fear at the mention of that name. "What?... Why?"

"I needed to see him, Donna. I wanted to look that bastard in the eye and tell him that he'd failed." Harvey swallowed, and Donna noticed his fists clench at his sides.

"What else?" she asked cautiously, the uneasy feeling that had flared up, now building as she took in Harvey's countenance.

Harvey stepped back from her and he hesitated.

"I told him that his sentence was going to be extended."

Donna nodded slowly, but the look that flashed across Harvey's face told her that there was still more to come.

"What did you do, Harvey?"

Harvey took her hands in his and gazed at them before looking up into her eyes with a look of determination. "I've arranged it, so that in three days time, he's going to be transferred to Rikers Island jail, where Roman is also currently presiding, awaiting trial."

Donna's mouth fell open and she looked at him in horror. "What? _No_... There's no way the Bureau of Prisons would allow that transfer, it puts Forstman in immediate danger."

"Normally, that would be true. But like I told Forstman, I know people too, and I can get this done." His expression had hardened, but he held her horrified gaze.

"Harvey! You can't. Roman will kill him."

"That's the idea, yeah."

She recoiled from him then, taking several steps back as she shook her head in horror. Harvey grimaced at her reaction.

"Donna, he deserves this for what he did to you."

"What, and you're now judge, jury, and executioner?"

"I'm just getting him transferred. What happens next is between him and Roman."

"Bullshit! That's just semantics. You're doing this deliberately, Harvey, with one goal in mind."

"So what if I am?" he yelled then, his arms outstretched. "Don't you get it?...You almost fucking died!" His voice cracked on the last word and his face screwed up in anguish.

Her heart immediately ached for him. The pain, stress and turmoil that he'd been suffering was there, plain to see. "Harvey—"

"No, Donna. You don't understand. I can't get that image of you, bound and gagged, frightened and in pain out of my goddamn head. It's always there. That feeling that there was nothing I could do, I couldn't save you, I had to leave you there like that, with that evil monster! It killed me. It still kills me. Charles is responsible for that. He started all of this and so help me God if I can't kill the fucker myself, I'm gonna let someone else do it!"

Harvey was shaking, the veins standing out on his neck. His body rigid as he stared at her, consumed with fury and pain.

"Harvey?" Donna said carefully. "You did save me. I'm here now, and I'm here with you. But if you do this, it won't change what happened to us, and it's not going to make you feel better. You think it will, but I promise you, it won't."

"Donna—"

"No, you need to listen to me now. This isn't who you are, Harvey. Guilt and pain are what's driving you at the moment, and if you act on those feelings and you do this, it will take a piece of your soul and it will fester inside of you. Believe me, I know...I know what it's like to take someone's life, and I never want you to feel that burden."

"You didn't have a choice," he choked out.

"No... I didn't. But you do."

Harvey dropped his head and he closed his eyes, her words stopping him in his tracks. Donna took a tentative step towards him.

"Harvey. Please don't do this." She lifted her hand and cupped his face so that he met her pleading gaze. "Orchestrating something like this for revenge? It's not the man I want you to be...and I _know_ it's not the man you want to be."

His shoulders slumped then as he surrendered to her, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. His tears fell willingly, and Donna held onto him, as he began to let go of some of the tension and guilt that he had been harbouring for weeks.

They stayed like that for a while, until both of their tears had run dry and their sobs had subsided. Donna then looked up into his brown, but red-rimmed eyes and once again, an acknowledgement passed between them.

There was still a long way to go, and there was still a lot for them to admit and share with each other.

But finally, they had begun to talk.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I wrote a list of things I still wanted to cover in this story and I filled a page. Hmmm. Suffice to say, this isn't the last chapter, yet ;-)
> 
> Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I'm sorry, I can't reply to them individually at the moment. FF is really having a bit of a meltdown lately, and reviews just aren't showing on the site. I can see them through my email alerts though, so please, please keep them coming. If you are enjoying the story still, even though it is nearing the end, I still very much want to hear from you. They fuel me and really are the best for inspiration. I promise I will respond, once the glitch is fixed.
> 
> Love and thanks to Blue again, for casting her eyes and her wisdom across this latest chapter.
> 
> As ever, love to all. Stay safe xx
> 
> Rated: Mature

* * *

Donna Paulsen was _not_ a morning person. She never had been.

Even as a small child, when most youngsters rise at the crack of dawn, full of boundless energy, Donna would be out for the count, dead to the world, and any attempt to rouse her would be met with moans and groans.

Her mother had claimed that as well as an ability to understand and empathise way beyond her young years, her sleep behaviour also mirrored that of someone significantly older than her pre-school years. More like those of a teenager - except, she never really progressed from her teenage like sleep pattern as she grew older.

It wasn't so bad that she needed to seek medical attention, but she did feel the need, throughout all of her adult years, to set not one, but three alarm clocks to ensure that she was up and ready to face the day.

This little known fact had come as a bit of a surprise to Harvey.

The first morning they'd spent back at her apartment, he'd been woken by her phone alarm, which he ended up having to switch off himself, as it hadn't even caused the slightest of twitches, or eyelid flutters. Less than thirty seconds later, a chiming sound akin to a harp being plucked, sounded around Donna's bedroom, getting progressively louder. Confused, it had taken Harvey a minute to locate the source of the melodic peals. He spotted the culprit. A modern monstrosity of a mantelpiece clock that was situated on her dressing table. It was neither chic nor stylish, but it was adorned with Shakespeare quotes, carved around the dial. A birthday gift from Louis, he would later find out. It took him a further minute to work out how to turn the damn thing off, but his frustration was replaced with bewilderment when he noticed, as he climbed back into bed, that Donna still hadn't stirred a muscle. On the contrary, she was actually snoring, albeit gently. Harvey had grinned to himself, noting how adorable she was.

His grin vanished though, when the third, more obtrusive alarm began blasting the most deafening clanging of bells. A retro style, twin bell alarm clock was violently shuddering across her bedside table, and this, finally, seemed to stir her from the land of the dead.

Harvey didn't waste any time later that day, raising the subject with her. He was partly intrigued, mostly amused at the idea that she needed such excessive means to wake in the morning.

" _I'm a heavy sleeper, Harvey," she'd said with a shrug._

" _Yeah, but three alarms? Can you really not wake at all without them?" he asked, trying to suppress a smile._

_Donna scowled. "It's not that big of a deal. Plenty of people struggle to get up in the morning."_

_Harvey broke out into a wide grin and he waggled his eyebrows at her unintentional double entendre. "Not me!"_

" _You're an idiot," she said, her own lips twitching._

" _I'm just surprised you need them at all. I would never have thought that simply waking up in the morning could be such a problem for you. I mean, especially someone who is practically perfect in every way." He chuckled._

" _How many times do I have to tell you that I'm awesome... I'm not perfect. There's a difference. I am not frickin Mary Poppins."_

_Harvey immediately tensed at that. The reference, a jolt. A reminder of words spoken to him not that long ago, by an asshole that still made him sick to his stomach and about an ex-girlfriend that was still a taboo subject between them._

_Donna noticed the change in his expression and frowned. But he was quick to smooth over his reaction, stepping forward with a grin plastered back on his face, as he pulled her into his arms._

" _Well, as much as I think it's adorable, I think those alarms need to go." His tone had dropped several octaves and his eyes sparkled with desire. "We need to come up with a much better way to wake you up in the morning," he murmured into her lips, before slowly and languidly kissing her, his tongue gently coaxing her mouth open, causing her to instantly moan._

And so it was, that the morning after their emotional breakthrough regarding Forstman, after ending up in Harvey's bed for the first time, where they had actually done nothing but hold each other and fall asleep in each other's arms, both exhausted from the many tears they'd shed, Donna was awoken. Not by three irritating alarm calls, but by something else, much, much more pleasantly intrusive.

At first, she thought the sensations that seemed to be stirring within her were just part of her dreams. Half conscious, she felt the heat and delicious sparks of pleasure build between her legs, but as the feeling intensified, her body became more alert and responsive, and sleepy confusion gave way to a heavenly realisation.

The wetness that had pooled at her core was not there, solely as a result of her own desire, but also from Harvey Specter's tongue.

She gasped, her back arching off the bed and she rapidly pulled the bedsheet away that had been covering them. She looked down and Harvey temporarily ceased his ministrations, glancing up at her from his position, firmly placed between her thighs. He gave her a devilish grin, his eyes black with desire, and he winked at her causing her to instantly giggle.

Her laughter was soon replaced with a deep moan, as his hands moved around her hips and underneath her, caressing her backside whilst simultaneously lifting her to his mouth. His tongue resumed its most excellent work, lapping and swirling at her and a hot, intense, but glorious ache pulsated from her core and up through the rest of her now writhing body.

Harvey removed one hand and placed it on her stomach to gently still her movements, while he used the other to assist in bringing her to the edge, his fingers joining his mouth as they gently pumped in and out of her. Donna was now sweating, and she dragged her bottom lip between her teeth as her back once again, arched off the bed.

She had never forgotten how skilled he was at this, but Christ, she had forgotten how skilled he was at this. The sensations and constant waves of pleasure were bordering on overwhelming and she began moaning his name, repeatedly, which only seemed to spur him on.

He would pull back briefly for just mere seconds, placing kisses along her thigh or to her mound before diving back in, flicking and teasing her bundle of nerves. Donna felt the delicious build of her pending orgasm, the feeling almost too much to bear, but yet, she also never wanted it to stop. She reached down and her fingers found his scalp, scratching through his soft hair as she bucked and moaned. When she finally came undone, she cried out incoherently, as her body was racked with the most exquisite spasms. Harvey slowed his movements, but kept his lips against her as he helped her ride out her pleasure.

Trembling from head to toe, her breathing began to slow. Harvey placed tender kisses to her thighs, her stomach and her breasts as he slowly climbed up her body. As he reached her mouth, she kissed him hungrily, her hands clutching the sides of his face. She could have kissed him like that till dusk, but she was still breathless. She pulled away from him slightly to gasp for air, and she knew her smile matched his. He rubbed his nose against hers, something she had discovered, he liked to do frequently, as his hand gently stroked her damp hair away from her flushed cheeks.

"Morning," he said, the deep timbre of his voice immediately sparking another jolt of pleasure through her core.

"Morning," she answered breathlessly.

"So what do you think of your new alarm clock?"

She pursed her lips as she seemed to ponder his question. "Hmm, I'm not sure. In many ways it's a vast improvement, but it does have one major flaw."

"Oh?"

"Well, my usual method doesn't normally cause my legs to turn to jelly. If I get up now, I don't think I could walk."

Harvey tilted his head and smirked. "That _is_ a slight problem," he said in mock seriousness. "We can't risk you falling back to sleep while you wait for the strength to return to your legs. I'll have to think of something to help keep you awake, in the meantime."

He ran his hands up her side, slightly tickling her, causing her to giggle helplessly. He was grinning at her mercilessly as she huffed out his name in weak protest. But then his fingers continued up her arms, pinning them firmly above her head, and before she had a chance to retaliate, he entered her in one swift, fluid motion.

She gasped at the welcome intrusion and he stilled his movements, allowing her time to adjust. His eyes locked with hers, all humour now gone. He was staring at her with such intensity, with such a look of pure love and devotion that Donna felt her eyes prick with tears as the same reciprocal feelings overwhelmed her.

She gave him a tiny nod, their eyes never wavering from each other and he began to move.

Harvey set the pace, and it was slow and steady. He removed one hand from her wrists and began running it down her naked form, whilst the other switched to her hands, intertwining their fingers. He continued to kiss her as his rhythm began building momentum, but the kisses remained soft, teasing. His tongue toyed with hers, as he interspersed kissing her lips with kissing behind her ear, her cheeks, her throat.

Donna's skin was on fire. Every touch, every flick of the tongue sending sparks across her body, and all the while Harvey's rhythm continued to build both in speed and intensity. He hooked his hand behind her knee and hoisted her leg so that it wrapped around his waist, enabling him to thrust even deeper and the immediate sensation was exquisite. She could already feel her walls contracting around him as he filled her, and Donna knew she wouldn't last long before reaching her second peak of the morning. Her hands scratched down his back and she moaned his name into his ear, her desire for him almost desperate as she relished in the feel of him all around her and inside of her, but yet still not able to ever get enough of him.

Harvey's forehead fell into the crook of her neck and Donna sensed that he too was close. "Donna," he gasped almost as though in worship as well as a plea.

She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts and Harvey raised his upper body, his eyes casting down to where they were joined, the sight of their connection, him entering her, filling her, was mesmerising and profound. He was squeezing her hand now, their fingers tightly interlocked, and she used her other hand to grip his arm, her nails digging into his taut muscles, as he continued to pound away, their lovemaking now frenzied, all their senses heightened as they both neared release.

He lifted his gaze and their eyes locked once again.

Harvey had always had the ability to take her breath away, but in that moment, the way his eyes smouldered, the way he silently communicated nothing but love, need, want and desire, she not only lost the ability to breathe, but her body began to quiver and she immediately unravelled, her orgasm taking her by such force that she was overcome with dizziness. She cried out his name, along with a string of profanities, and she fisted the bedsheets as she allowed wave after wave of ecstasy to wash over her.

Her cries competed with Harvey's own, as he too tumbled over the edge. Groaning her name, his muscles tensed, and then his body shuddered as he emptied himself inside of her.

They lay entangled with each other for several minutes, still joined, heavily panting, thoroughly and blissfully spent.

Eventually Harvey carefully slipped out from her and Donna instantly missed their connection. He reached up to cradle her face, placing a gentle kiss at the corner of her mouth, a smile already creeping across his face, before he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side so that her face was nestled into his neck.

"How are the legs?" he mumbled, and Donna could hear the grin in his voice.

"Totally screwed." She giggled.

He chuckled deeply, his fingers caressing up and down her arm, as they just lay wrapped together, enjoying each other.

"You seem different this morning," she whispered as their breathing calmed, her fingers lacing through his hair.

"Do I?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Good different, or bad different?"

"Good… You seem lighter somehow."

She thought back on the events of the night before. Harvey breaking down when she had challenged him over his desire for revenge over Forstman. She knew though, as she had held him, his sobs wracking his body, that it wasn't just the realisation of what he was prepared to do, of how far he was willing to go that had caused his outpouring of emotion. The tears had also come from all the pent up fear, aggression, rage, and hurt that he had been bottling up. She lifted her chin and dropped her head back and gazed at him, his body relaxed, his features soft and warm, and she deduced it wasn't just a post-coital haze that he was emanating, but also a sense of peace since he had let his walls down. Since he had let go of some of his anger.

Harvey met her loving gaze and he seemed to sense her thoughts, as he laced his fingers in hers, bringing them up to his mouth, and kissing them gently.

"I am...feeling better, but it wasn't just last night that's made me feel this way."

Donna frowned and she shifted her head slightly so that she could study him better. Harvey gave a little sigh, and he lifted his hand to run it through her auburn hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"Last night was the first night in weeks that you didn't have a nightmare," he said softly as he looked cautiously into her eyes. Her eyes widened at his words and he gave a little shrug. "I know recovery takes time, and I've always trusted that things will get better, but seeing you finally sleep so peacefully… I don't know, it's like I actually _feel_ that everything is going to be okay."

"You never told me that I was having them _every_ night," she whispered, her frown still in place.

Harvey nodded.

"There's a lot I haven't told you, Donna. A lot I've been afraid to say," he said carefully.

Donna's breath hitched, but for the first time she didn't allow the shutters to completely crash down. She swallowed down the hesitation and worry, that she could feel bubbling up from her stomach. Harvey had opened up to her, disclosed some of his deepest fears and torments, allowed her in, to witness his vulnerability. She needed to be brave, too.

One of her own deepest fears had been that Samuel had ripped away her confidence, and in doing so, she'd lost a piece of herself. If she had any chance of finding it again, she had to stop hiding from her pain. Lying there in his arms, she'd never felt so safe, so protected, so loved. And as she met his nervous gaze, his eyes that spoke of worry, concern but also tenderness and love, she realised it was time that she started chipping away at her own protective walls.

"You can tell me now," she said breathlessly. "If you want to."

Harvey's eyes flashed with a combination of nerves and hope and he pursed his lips as he considered what he wanted to say.

"Okay, well… we could start with the fact that I'm worried sick that you are hardly eating," he said, staring at their interlaced fingers.

Donna felt her heart flutter, the desire to run and bolt from this topic already creeping through her veins. But she bit back her natural instinct to be defensive and instead took a steadying breath.

"I know. I am trying, I just don't have an appetite. I don't know why."

Harvey glanced up then with a look of relief, probably at the fact that she hadn't deflected again. He seemed to ponder her words, as he continued to toy with her fingers. Donna could tell he wanted to say something but was hesitant.

"What?" she gently probed.

He bit the inside of his cheek and expelled a small sigh. "I spoke to Stan about it," he murmured. "I was so concerned, and I wanted his advice. I'd assumed it might be a residual effect of the shock you'd suffered, but he suggested something else."

"He did?"

Harvey nodded. "He suggested that it might be your way of taking back some control?"

"What?" Donna inhaled sharply. "No!...it's not...I'm not deliberately choosing to starve myself, Harvey," she said indignantly, her voice wavering with emotion.

"I'm not suggesting that, and neither is he." Harvey was quick to assure. "He just indicated that this wasn't uncommon. That he's seen it before. Victims that have suffered a similar trauma as you, where all power and control is taken from them, they struggle afterwards to adjust. He said that the desire to reclaim that control is strong, and that this can be one way to do it, even if it's not consciously done."

Donna was shaking her head. "Well, I think he's wrong."

Harvey took a deep breath. "It was only a suggestion, it wasn't a diagnosis. Have _you_ talked to him about it?"

"Not specifically, no," she bristled, despite her best efforts to stay calm. Her curtness, an act of self-preservation.

"Donna, I'm not accusing or attacking you. I'm worried and I just want to help."

Donna closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated too. I'll talk to him about it, okay? And I promise I will try to eat more, even if I don't feel that hungry," she added with a small smile.

Harvey returned her smile, and then lifted her chin so that he could capture her lips in his. The kiss was sweet and tender, and he took his time, pulling gently on her bottom lip before sweeping his tongue across and gently probing her mouth.

Donna instantly responded, and she sighed against his lips, savouring the taste of him, any anxiety or tension that she had felt, instantly swept away with the feel of his mouth on hers.

Harvey cupped her cheek and slowly pulled away, causing her to whine in protest. He chuckled at her response. "As much as that pout on your face is adorable and makes me want to kiss you again, how about, we take a shower, then you can inspect my cupboards and see if there's anything you might like me to make you for breakfast?"

"I thought the idea was to tempt me with edible food?"

"Hey… My cooking is almost as irresistible as me!"

"That's just not possible." She laughed, before launching herself at him with a blistering kiss, her legs straddling him as she rolled him over, pinning him to the bed, their giggles soon replaced with sighs and moans.

They eventually made it to Harvey's ensuite bathroom, only to take longer than was needed in there too, so much so that by the time they were finally showered and dressed it was already mid morning.

They both settled in his kitchen. Donna was feeling a determination to take up Harvey's offer to cook, and make an effort to eat breakfast. Contrary to her jibe, she'd been nothing but impressed by Harvey's culinary skills so far. He downplayed it of course, professing that Marcus was the real genius with food, and he'd just simply picked up a few hints and tips along the way. However, despite only managing a few forkfuls, his Spanish Romesco chicken had been delicious and his Moroccan lamb tagine, a revelation. Both had indicated that a flare for cooking was definitely a family trait.

He sat on the kitchen stool, sipping his coffee as he watched her rifle through his fridge.

"So, do you see anything that might whet your appetite?"

She'd abandoned his fridge and moved on to his cupboards, opening them one at a time to inspect their contents. "Not really no. Harvey, your cupboards are shockingly bare. There's hardly anything here, and what _is_ here reminds me of food I'd find in a frat house."

"Look, I know I'm overdue a grocery shop, but it's not _that_ bad."

"Oh really," she scoffed. "Explain this then." She pulled out a box from one of his cupboards and waved it in front of him. "I mean, I know you like anything strawberry flavoured, but poptarts? Really? When did you start eating shit like this?"

Harvey paled. He stared at the box in her hand and his mouth fell open. Donna instantly frowned as she took in his expression. He was glancing between the box and her eyes with a look of sheer panic on his face.

Her breath faltered as realisation dawned on her.

"Oh!" she simply said, quietly turning from him before he had a chance to respond. He was either going to come up with some lame reason that they would both know to be false, or tell her the truth, which she also had an immediate aversion to. She already knew the answer and she felt herself flush with embarrassment, which was ridiculous, as she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about. But the stark reminder that he used to share his home with someone, and who that someone was, caused her stomach to drop.

She placed the box back into the cupboard, and composed herself. "How about eggs? I reckon you are a master omelette maker," she said, a deliberate lightness to her tone, but there was a waiver to her voice that she failed to disguise.

He was behind her then, circling his arms around her waist as he placed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Hey, talk to me," he said softly.

Donna rested her hand on his arms and she closed her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "Honestly? I don't even know where to start."

He turned her around, so that she faced him, his arms still wrapped around her. She stared at his chest, not wanting to look into his eyes.

"How about you start by telling me how you feel?"

She felt her bottom lip tremble and she cast her eyes down further. Why was this so difficult? Paula was gone. She was just an ex-girlfriend, now part of his relationship past. Donna didn't feel threatened by the woman at all. She didn't even feel guilty and she certainly didn't doubt for one second that Harvey had moved on, that he loved _her_ , that he was committed to her now, one hundred percent. Yet every time they ventured near the subject of Paula, she would feel nauseous. She would feel the sting of pain, and her stomach would churn.

"Look at me, Donna."

He raised her chin with his thumb and forefinger. She never could resist that deep tone of his, so she acquiesced, lifting her gaze so that she met his dark brown eyes.

"I don't know what to say," she answered him honestly. "I know we need to talk about her and what happened, but every time I try to work out how I feel about it all, I just… I can't. It just hurts."

Harvey tilted his head and he furrowed his brow, his expression filled with sorrow and regret. He lifted his hand and stroked it through her hair a few times before speaking.

"I might have a suggestion," he said cautiously.

She felt a slight sense of apprehension, but she gave him a quick nod to continue.

"Stan suggested that when the time was right, it might be an idea if we both went to see him together." He fixed his gaze on her, his eyes darting between hers, as though anxious to gauge her reaction.

She inhaled sharply, but she held his stare. "I don't know, Harvey. That might—"

"Hear me out." He dropped his hands and picked up hers, holding them close to his chest. "You say you can't talk about it because you don't know what it is you're feeling. But you know you're feeling pain, and I think he can help you articulate it. He can help us both. I think in this instance, with this particularly painful episode in our lives, we both might find it easier to talk about it, with him there."

"You mean like a mediator?"

"Kind of. He's a therapist, so he can help us work through it, but he's also impartial."

She rolled her lips between her teeth as she considered his words. She wasn't sure this was a good idea, but she also knew that she couldn't carry on like this. She loved Harvey. With every fibre of her being. But she was starting to worry that those painful months following the night she kissed him, were hanging over their new relationship like a dark cloud. A thunderous cloud that was threatening to downpour at any moment, drenching them with pain, regret and bitterness. Maybe the cloud needed to break, but they just needed to shelter from it. Maybe Stan was the answer.

"Okay," she breathed out.

Harvey visibly relaxed and he too let out a relieved sigh before flashing her a cautious smile. "Come here." He pulled her into his arms and nestled his head in her neck. "I love you," he mumbled as he nuzzled behind her ear.

"And I love you."

He pulled back and smiled more widely, before placing a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Well, now that we've established _that_. I think we need to get back to the important matter of breakfast. I clearly need to go out and get some groceries, so what can I get you? Whatever you want, it's yours."

"Oh don't worry, Harvey. I'll be fine with a bit of toast."

"Donna, I need to go out and get ingredients for dinner tonight anyway, so it's no bother. What can I tempt you with?"

Her lips quirked as she considered his offer. "Well, if you're going out, I do quite like the idea of a danish pastry," she said, biting her lip.

Harvey lifted his eyebrows. "Really," he said more as a statement than a question. "Okay then, danish pastries it is."

He moved to walk past her in the direction of his wallet and keys, when she halted him. "A lemon and cardamom swirl from Ole and Steen on Broadway. They are the absolute best."

"Okay…"

"Oh and pick up a slice of their Gateau Marcel chocolate mousse cake, it is literally to die for."

"Lemon swirl, chocolate mousse cake… got it!"

"And while you're there. It might be an idea to pick up a slice or two of their strawberry and almond chocolate shell tart," she added with a coy smile. "It comes with vanilla cream."

Harvey poked his cheek with his tongue. "I bet it does," he smirked. "Is that all?"

"I think that covers it, yeah."

He chuckled to himself before leaning forward and kissing her again. "I won't be long," he muttered against her lips.

He picked up his keys and wallet, but as he prepared himself to leave, he paused at the kitchen cupboard. Without saying a word, he retrieved the box of poptarts and promptly threw them in the garbage can before picking up his coat, and walking towards his front door.

Thirty minutes later, Harvey was holding a full grocery bag while standing in line at Ole and Steen.

He felt physically tired, having still not managed to get any proper sleep. Donna may have had her first peaceful night, but he had been on edge for most of it, waiting for her night terrors to start. He had felt such a sense of relief when dawn came and she hadn't stirred. But as a consequence, he was now dog tired.

He didn't really care though, for Donna was, as usual, spot-on in her observation that he felt lighter, more bouyant. He was happy, and he now had hope too. Hope that with help from Stan, they could finally address all of their issues and start planning for their future.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and retrieving it, he saw that Mike was calling him.

"Hey, Mike."

" _Harvey! How's things?"_

"They're good thanks. We're good," he answered.

" _How did it go with Forstman?"_

Harvey paused for a moment. "It went well...as expected," he said finally. "But you were right. I should have discussed it with Donna."

" _She found out?"_

"She did, and we talked about it last night." He paused. "I'm calling Sean Cahill later today and putting a stop to it."

Mike let out a deep sigh. _"I have to say, Harvey. It's a relief to hear you say that. It's the right thing to do."_

"I know it is, but it still feels like the bastard has got away lightly, considering all that he did."

" _Yeah, well, I'm sure you and I can put our heads together and find another way to make him pay,"_ Mike responded.

"That sounds like a great idea."

" _Have you spoken to Donna yet about Christmas?"_

"I mentioned it, yeah. She was really excited at the idea. As you know, I have this major work situation that needs sorting out, and a shit load of cases to catch up on, so I can't make any promises, but I reckon we could make it work."

" _That's great, Harvey. I'll get Rachel to talk to Donna about it, they'll sort everything out. Speaking of work and Donna, have you talked to her yet about her position at the firm."_

"No… I haven't" Harvey swallowed as he felt his stomach flip at the prospect.

" _You need to tell her, Harvey."_

"Not this again."

" _Hey, I was right last time. You just said so,"_ Mike retorted.

"I know. I just don't know how she's going to take it."

" _You won't know until you talk to her about it. Have a little faith in her, Harvey."_

"I do. I'm just worried that after everything that she's been through—"

" _Stop overthinking it. You've made a decision, and I know it was a tough one, but it's time you talked to her about it. It's that simple."_

Harvey found himself at the front of the line, the server behind the counter looking at him expectantly.

"Mike, I gotta go. I'll call you later, okay?"

" _Okay, we'll speak later. Bye, Harvey."_

Harvey disconnected the call, placing his phone in his pocket. A feeling of nervousness now settling in his stomach at the prospect of the difficult conversation he faced ahead.

"What can I get you, sir?"

* * *

Donna could still feel the tingling on her lips from his parting kiss, and she sighed contentedly to herself, as she stood out on his bedroom balcony, taking in the glorious New York vista.

It was seasonably cold. It was December after all, but Donna had her coat wrapped around her so she felt warm enough, and she enjoyed the fresh feel of the biting cool air.

December. That meant Christmas would soon be upon them. She'd normally have everything organised by now. Presents would be bought, wrapped and ready for gifting. Her apartment would be decorated to the nines, party invitations would have been rsvp'd, new dresses would have been purchased for those said parties, and the ZSL Christmas party would have been organised and in its final preparations.

None of these things had happened. Christ, she'd even missed Thanksgiving. Not that she had planned to go anywhere. Louis had been hosting a Thanksgiving party this year, and with Harvey and Paula accepting their invitation, she had promptly declined hers.

She felt a sharp stab of pain again at that memory, and of that time. How lonely she had felt, how isolated. She'd thought then, that she would be facing a similar fate at Christmas. Doomed to spend it on her own, no doubt drinking too much wine while binge-watching festive Hallmark movies.

She now faced a happier prospect. Christmas with Harvey. She didn't know yet, what that would exactly look like, but Harvey had mentioned that Mike and Rachel had suggested they visit Seattle and spend Christmas with them, and while nothing had been confirmed yet, the idea of it filled her with warmth.

Thinking back to her immediate future though, she also felt anxious. It wasn't the prospect of her and Harvey seeing Stan that was making her uneasy. It was the fact that with regards to ZSL, she had no idea where she stood. Harvey still hadn't said anything about her resignation letter. He'd not referred to it, mentioned it, nothing.

He was due to return to work on Monday, and officially, she was supposed to have been already back at the firm, for more than a week. She's sure, with all that had happened, if she'd asked, she would have been granted leave too. But she hadn't asked, because she technically didn't work there anymore, and aside from Louis at the restaurant yesterday, no-one had questioned her absence.

Harvey had brushed over that conversation all too quickly. She knew him too well, and she knew when he was deliberately avoiding a subject. Why? Didn't he want her to return? Now that they were together romantically, did he feel that it might be better if they no longer worked together? Could this possibly be because of her damn rule?

Whatever the reason, it hurt. The resignation still stood, and Harvey seemed reluctant to change that situation. She knew she should just ask him, but her decision to leave the firm was born out of the post kiss nightmare, and so, it hadn't been a topic that she'd been comfortable bringing up.

She heard his front door slam shut, heralding his return.

"I have pastries," he called out, and she made her way back into his apartment, with a fresh smile back on her face. She would push those worries aside for the time being.

"Sorry I took a bit longer. That bakery is popular, I had to wait in line for a while." He was unloading the groceries as she approached. He looked up and frowned.

"Why are you wearing your coat? Are you going somewhere?"

"No," she chuckled. I was getting some fresh air out on your balcony. It's a little cold."

She took off her coat and reached around him, to retrieve plates for their pastries. They moved about each other seamlessly, and within a few minutes, they were both sitting at his kitchen counter, munching on lemon cardamom swirls.

They ate in relative silence, and Donna could tell that Harvey was relieved to see that she was tucking in, her pastry all but finished. She also couldn't help but notice that there was a slight air of tension between them.

"They're good aren't they?" she asked.

"They are indeed."

She eyed him warily. There was something guarded behind his eyes that hadn't been there before he left.

"Is everything okay, Harvey?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

Donna shook her head as she took a sip of coffee. "No reason."

Harvey narrowed his eyes, seemingly unconvinced by her words, but he chose not to question it, picking up their plates before moving towards the sink. "I spoke to Mike while I was out."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he asked again about us going to them for Christmas. He said he'd probably get Rachel to call you about it."

"That sounds like a plan," she said with a smile.

Harvey nodded. "I just need to make sure I'm up to date with work. I'm a little behind at the moment, and there's still the managing partner vote to sort out, so…"

He busied himself around the kitchen as he cleaned up, but Donna wasn't paying attention. Her vision blurred. Her heart was thumping in her chest, his words causing the worries she'd pushed aside earlier, to come rushing to the fore.

"Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I still have a vote?" she all but whispered, shocking herself that she'd dared to finally bring it up.

Harvey had been drying his hands on a dishcloth and he halted his movements at her sudden question. He looked across at her, with wide eyes.

Then his shoulders slumped, and his head dropped, and with a sinking sensation, Donna knew instinctively what his answer was.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Firstly, apologies that this last chapter took so much longer. I had a bad case of writer's block and with everything that's happening in the world, I just wasn't in the right headspace to tackle it. There were more important matters that people were dealing with.
> 
> But I managed to get it done, although, be warned, it is a bit of a long one! This is the final chapter - although there will be an epilogue to tie up any loose ends, so to speak.
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to thank every person that has joined me on this journey, to everyone that has taken the time to leave a review or tweet me their thoughts. Every single one has been greatly appreciated and I am so very, very grateful. Without your feedback, I doubt I would have been brave enough to see it through to the end.
> 
> Massive thanks have to go to the three ladies that have beta'd for me over the duration of this story. Blue, Aimee and Kate. I cannot thank you enough. Without your kind words of encouragement, your endless support, your critical eye and your occasional kick up the backside, I would never have got to this point. I love you so much and thank you.
> 
> Finally, I know these are frightening times, but I also believe it is a time of hope. Hope that maybe this time, things may change. Much love to you all.
> 
> #staysafe
> 
> #staystrong
> 
> #blm
> 
> Jo xx
> 
> Rated: Mature

* * *

It's natural to think that most therapists would use everything in their skillset to encourage their patients to talk. After all, it's difficult to guide and treat, if your patients won't tell you what they are feeling or thinking.

However, Stan Lipschitz had realised quite early in his career that silence could be a powerful thing, and it certainly didn't indicate that nothing was happening or that no progress was being made.

A silent patient could be processing. They could be coming to terms with something profound, realising a truth that had previously been hidden. Time, coupled with silence was often all that was needed to coax understanding and recognition, and his office was a safe place for that to happen.

Silence also communicated much more than its lack of sound might indicate. It often told Stan a great deal about his patients, for there were different types of silence.

Awkward silence. Frustrated silence. Angry, nervous, embarrassed silence, and not forgetting cocky, arrogant, 'I don't want to be here and you'll get nothing from me' silence. He'd seen them all.

The silence in the room at the moment, though, was something a bit new to him.

There were two patients sitting in front of him. A couple. This wasn't a first for him by any means, but the atmosphere in the room, the vibes he was getting from these two patients, that was something new.

They were sharing a couch, but sitting apart. Both of them were looking anywhere but at each other, and despite their body language screaming anxiety and disquietude, there was also a discernible sexual tension in the air. It buzzed between them like electricity, and it was so palpable that Stan found himself both fascinated and distracted by it.

Harvey was the nervous and frustrated one. Stan observed the rigid posture, the set jaw, the clenched fists. Anger wasn't what he was emanating though, it was fear and worry but with a sense of indomitability. He seemed resolute and determined, as though he had absolutely no intention of leaving the room until whatever needed to be resolved had been thrashed out and settled.

Donna on the other hand, appeared to be harbouring a lot of anger and a lot of pain and hurt. There was a nervous energy about her, indicating that she was agitated. She seemed uncomfortable, but resigned to being there. Her brow was furrowed, a troubled frown had been fixed in place from the moment they had arrived.

They had been sitting like this for about ten minutes. Harvey, reluctant to speak, Donna refusing to speak.

Stan had patiently waited as he observed the simmering hostility, the stubbornness but also this rippling, sizzling energy between them. If he left the room now, Stan wasn't sure if they would descend into a screaming match or rip each other's clothes off. Probably both, he surmised.

He placed his pencil in his notebook and closed it, dropping it on the coffee table between them. Having observed them for some time, it was clear neither of them was going to make the first move. It was time to bring this silent impasse to an end.

"So...how have things been since I last saw you?"

Harvey's eyes flashed up to meet Stan's. Donna turned her head away and looked at the floor.

Stan looked expectantly between them. There was a beat and then Harvey bit the inside of his cheek as he let out an audible sigh.

"Strained," he said.

"I'm sensing that." Stan nodded. "Do you know why?"

Harvey shuffled in his seat and he shrugged. "I fucked up as usual. Like I always do."

Donna whipped her head around and glared at Harvey. "That's not…" She paused, pursing her lips.

Harvey tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow. "Not what? The truth?" he questioned with an air of exasperation.

"Why do you say that, Harvey?" Stan pressed.

Harvey shook his head and huffed. "I'm no good at this. It was just a matter of time, before I screwed everything up. Screwed us up." His voice cracked and he rested his elbow on the side of the couch as he brought the back of his fingers up to his mouth as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

Donna seemed to thaw at that. Harvey losing his composure tapped into her automatic and inherent desire to protect him from hurt or pain. She reached across to him, taking his other hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You haven't screwed everything up, Harvey. I'm here. I'm just …" she faltered again, finding it hard to find the words to describe exactly how she was feeling.

"You're just what, Donna?" Stan questioned.

She looked up to the ceiling then before expelling a steadying breath. "There's so much that we haven't talked about and it all still hurts. I know that's more on me, that I have been avoiding conversations, but that's because Harvey isn't the only one who's afraid of fucking everything up. We're both constantly walking on eggshells around each other. We are both trying to open up but I'm… I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I don't know. Afraid that when we talk it will burst this bubble that we've been in."

"That bubble was burst yesterday," Harvey mutters.

They both fell back into silence then and Stan leant back in his chair. "What happened yesterday?"

Harvey clenched his jaw. "Like I said, I fucked up… twice."

Stan removed his glasses and placed the tip of the arm in his mouth as he contemplated Harvey's words. "Why don't you talk me through it."

Harvey closed his eyes and he grimaced again as he thought back to the previous afternoon. The day had started so well. They'd made love, their intense connection and the depth of feelings between them still took his breath away. They'd revelled in each other. The morning had been so perfect, so freeing, so right in every way. He'd braved the subject of Donna's appetite and she had managed to eat the pastries he had brought, which had been a relief. He'd even managed to get her to agree to this session with Stan, although they both hadn't envisaged it happening this soon.

Then she'd asked about her job, and despite the reminder from Mike that he needed to talk to her about it, he still hadn't been prepared for her sudden question. It had thrown him. His original plan to work out what he would say to her, whilst he cooked her dinner, before bringing the subject up over dessert had gone straight out of the window.

The look of pain on her face when he didn't immediately answer her question just fueled his panic, and it had just gone downhill from there.

xxx

" _Do I still have a vote?" she all but whispered._

_Harvey had been drying his hands on a dishcloth and he halted his movements at her sudden question._

_Shit!_

_He looked across at her. She was staring at him, eyes full of nervous expectation. Her chest rising and falling rapidly as she waited for his response._

_Shit, Shit, Shit!_

_He hadn't worked out what he was going to say yet, but he knew he couldn't lie to her._

_His shoulders slumped, and his head dropped._

_She took in his posture and her face crumpled slightly. She nodded, tears filling her eyes._

" _Donna—"_

" _It's okay, I get it."_

" _No, you don't. It's not that simple."_

" _Have you rescinded my resignation?"_

" _No, but —"_

" _Do you plan on rescinding it?"_

" _No, but —"_

" _Then I think it_ _ **is**_ _that simple."_

_She got down from the breakfast stool, her face flushed, her lip trembling and Harvey rounded the kitchen island in two short strides, grabbing her arm and pulling her back from her attempted escape._

" _Donna, don't walk away. Will you just hear me out, please? It's not what you think."_

_She hesitated. Harvey knew that her instinct was to bolt, but she met his pleading gaze with a look of apprehension. He gently turned her so that she was facing him and he took her hands in his._

" _I'm leaving the firm."_

_Donna's eyes widened in shock at his words. "What?"_

_Harvey took a deep breath and he dipped his head to meet her line of sight, ensuring that she could read the sincerity in his eyes._

" _As you know, we have the managing partner vote on Monday, I plan on announcing that I am stepping away from the firm."_

" _What? Why?" she demanded, looking totally perplexed._

" _A number of reasons. Mike has asked me to join his firm as a joint and equal partner, work in Seattle for a year, before coming back to New York to set up a clinic here. I think—"_

" _You're leaving New York?" She looked horrified._

" _ **We're**_ _leaving New York," he corrected._

_Donna took a step back and she held her hand out to halt him. "Wait, What?"_

" _I agreed with Mike that I would wrap up any outstanding casework here by Christmas, before handing over my clients to the remaining partners. We could be in Seattle by February. I think this could be perfect for us, Donna. After everything we've been through, I think a change of scenery and a fresh start is just what we need. I also think we would be safer in Seattle while Roman awaits trial, not that I think we're in any immediate danger, but I'd just feel better knowing you're nowhere near him or his cronies—"_

" _So you've already decided, then?"_

_Harvey cautiously nodded._

" _And you didn't think to discuss any of this with me before making that decision?"_

_Harvey opened his mouth and then shut it again. He could feel the waves of indignation rolling off of her as she crossed her arms and stared him down. He attempted to close the distance between them as he reached out to touch her. "I thought you would be happy with the idea of being near Rachel—"_

" _You thought, but you didn't ask," she snapped. Her eyes narrowed then. "When did Mike speak to you about becoming partners?"_

_Harvey bit the inside of his cheek, hesitating at her question._

" _When, Harvey?"_

" _He first suggested the idea a few days after we got back from Connecticut." He watched her eyes widen even further and she shook her head as she took another step back from him. "Donna, I'm sorry. I was going to talk to you about it tonight."_

" _Bullshit!"_

" _It's not, I swear to God."_

" _It's been two weeks, Harvey. Two weeks of me wondering why you hadn't mentioned my resignation letter. Two weeks thinking that you didn't want me back at the firm and wondering why?" Her voice broke, betraying just how much the issue had been needling at her._

_Harvey squeezed his eyes shut. He felt his heart pound incessantly. This wasn't going well at all and the sight of her distressed again was adding to his anxiety._

_Donna furiously wiped a stray tear from her cheek, her sadness swiftly replaced with anger. "How could you not talk to me about this?"_

_Harvey's head snapped up, his dismay at the turn this conversation had taken, quickly morphing into frustration. "I don't know, Donna, maybe because every time I tried to talk to you about anything, you goddamn shut me down."_

" _Oh, so it's my fault that you made a major decision about my life without discussing it with me?"_

" _I didn't say that."_

" _This isn't something inconsequential, Harvey. This is a major life decision you have made on behalf of the both of us and you just assumed I would be okay with it. Well, do you know what? I'm not!"_

_She grabbed her coat and snatched up her purse and marched towards his front door._

" _Where are you going?" Harvey asked, panic striking him in the chest as he watched her wrestle her shoes on._

" _Home!"_

" _Are you coming back?" He failed to hide the fear in his voice._

_Donna wavered then, and she looked back at him. Her demeanor still exuded fury but there was a flash of concern too, as she acknowledged his panic-stricken tone._

" _I need some time, Harvey."_

_He pursed his lips and swallowed. "I'm sorry, Donna. Please don't go."_

_She softened a little at that and she sighed. "I'm not leaving you, Harvey. I just need some space, okay?"_

_His shoulders slumped, but he nodded his reply. "Okay," he mumbled. She buttoned up her coat and turned to leave._

" _Donna, wait…"_

_She paused as Harvey strode over to his bookcase, and pulled open a drawer. The same drawer Paula had retrieved Donna's resignation letters from. He reached inside and took something before walking back over to her._

" _Here," he said. "Just in case I'm not here when you come back." He added with a shrug._

_She looked down at his outstretched hand and she inhaled sharply. There, poised between his fingers, was her key. The leather fob inscribed 'Debbie, NY's Best Secretary' was right-side up, staring her in the face, as though mocking her. Her mouth dropped open and she looked up from his hand and into his eyes. He was now frowning, clearly confused as he observed her shocked and pained expression._

" _Are you fucking kidding me?" she choked, her anger and pain back in full force._

" _What?" Harvey looked alarmed, but then he glanced down at the key, and even though he had never forgotten the terrible night he had asked for it back, nor the way she had thrown it at him the next day, he recognised the significance of this moment and how flippantly he had treated it._

_He squeezed his eyes in despair, realising how he had just fucked up again, monumentally._

_The worst of it was, his actions did not reflect how he felt, one iota. He had actually been desperate to give her back the key for weeks, but just like everything else, the memory of that time was a painful one for both of them, and he just hadn't found the right moment, or decided on what he would or should say. Their argument and her desire to leave his condo had driven him without thinking. He was so anxious that there be no obstacles to her returning to him as soon as possible, that he'd grabbed it in a panic._

" _Donna—"_

" _Don't!"_

_She left him standing there, the key still in his hand as his front door slammed shut, the sound masking an anguished "Fuck!" from Harvey._

_xxx_

"Why did you leave, Donna?" Stan asked.

"I was angry."

"I understand that, but why did you leave?"

Donna shuffled in her seat and she fidgeted her hands, casting her eyes away from Stan's gentle but probing gaze.

"I…" She lifted her fingers and rubbed her forehead. Stan waited patiently for her to answer. Harvey on the other hand was looking more and more uncomfortable, his desire to protect her from further pain kicking in.

"Isn't that obvious? Like I said, I fucked up twice. First about leaving the firm, and then the fucking key. She wanted to get away from me because she was angry—"

"Harvey, I asked Donna the question. Please, let her answer it," Stan calmly cut him off.

Harvey huffed but he didn't argue. He sat further back into the couch and ran his hands down his thighs in an attempt to calm himself.

Donna cleared her throat, finding her voice. "I think I left because as angry as I was, as much as I wanted to have it out with him, yell at him for disregarding me like that, I was afraid."

"What were you afraid of?"

She twisted her fingers together, and squeezed her eyes shut, as though summoning the courage to admit the truth. "That if our argument escalated, it could jeopardize what we have. That I might say something I didn't really mean... or...or that _he_ might." Her voice cracked on those last few words.

"People do often say things they don't mean when they're angry, Donna. I'm sure you know that. So why would this make you afraid?" Stan probed.

Donna expelled a deep breath and lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. "I don't know."

"I think you do."

She looked up at Stan sharply, clearly thrown that he was calling her out. She shook her head at him, almost as though pleading with him, not to push her any further.

"Donna, do you trust Harvey?"

"Yes, of course. With my life," she answered without any hesitation.

"And what about with your heart?"

Donna blanched. Harvey paled.

"I know that he would never willingly hurt me, if that's what you're asking me." There was a definite tremble to her voice.

"That's not what I'm asking you, Donna."

"I…" She shook her head more vehemently. "Please don't!" she choked, a tear escaping down her cheek. She sobbed then, the desperate sound slipping from her mouth, unwillingly.

Harvey was looking panicked. He opened his mouth to speak, to protest, but Stan held up his hand and gave him a warning look. A look that didn't just tell him to remain quiet, but also conveyed that he had this, he knew what he was doing and Harvey could trust him.

Harvey's breathing had accelerated, but he resisted the temptation to put a stop to what Stan was doing, despite desperately wanting to.

"Donna… do you trust Harvey with your heart?"

"Yes… No… I don't know," she gasped. "I want to. I know he loves me, I really do. I know he wants this, he wants us."

"But?"

Donna's tears were flowing freely now, and Harvey wasn't far behind. He was afraid to hear what she might confess but also desperate for her to let her walls down and confide her fears.

"What are you afraid of, Donna?" Stan pressed once more.

"That he'll break my heart again!" she blurted out.

She grabbed a tissue from the strategically placed box in front of her and pressed it against her eyes, in a bid to not only dry them, but also to hide from the truth she had just disclosed to the room.

Harvey held his breath, his heart aching at her words.

"If you know that he loves you, and you don't doubt that he wants to be with you, why are you still afraid that he might break your heart?"

Donna's bottom lip was quivering, and she was trembling all over, but then she looked up at Stan with a sorrowful expression.

"Because until now, loving him has only brought me pain," she whispered.

She then turned slowly to face Harvey. She gripped his hand even tighter, and she took a deep breath. "I've loved you, Harvey, for so long. But every time that I thought you might want me too, every time I dared to hope that you felt the same way, you would take two steps further away from me. So, I convinced myself that you needed me, but you didn't want me—"

"Donna—"

"Let me finish, please."

Harvey swallowed but he nodded.

"You told me once that you loved me, but then you tried to take it back. I told you I wanted more and you saw that as me abandoning you again, so your knee jerk reaction was to run to Paula and it felt… it felt like you were abandoning _me_ instead. Like you were trying to beat me to the punch. As I watched you get closer and closer to her, you were slipping further and further from me and it hurt like hell." Donna pursed her lips and let out a steadying breath before continuing.

"That's why I kissed you, Harvey. I know it was impulsive and reckless, but both Mike and Louis got into my head, talking about soulmates. I realised, that's how I saw you. As my soulmate. You were the only man I ever wanted and I was losing you. I didn't regret that kiss at first, because I realised that not ever knowing, would be far worse… but then those last few months…"

Harvey was struggling to keep his own emotions in check, and he lifted her hand to his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut as he placed a kiss there. "The way I treated you…" he choked out.

"You were angry, and rightly so. I knew the position I'd put you in with Paula. I expected you to be pissed, but then you wouldn't accept my apologies. Every attempt I made to reach out, to try to heal what I had broken was rebuffed, and it only got worse, not better. The fights we had…" She paused, wincing at the memory. "You were so cold, so brutal. You weren't just angry, you dismissed me. You cut me from your life and it broke my heart."

Harvey let out his own anguished sob, then. His lips were pulled tight as he desperately fought back his own tears. "I'm so sorry, Donna."

"I know, Harvey. But yesterday was our first real fight as a couple, and as angry as I felt, I was scared more than anything. To answer your question, Stan, I ran because all I could see in that moment was every argument we had had following that kiss. Every vindictive word, every glacial look, every time he dismissed me. I remembered the night he asked for the key, and it wasn't so much that he asked for it, but the way he looked at me when he did. Like I was dead to him and I…" She swallowed another sob and slowly exhaled. "After everything that has happened, I just wasn't strong enough to go through that again."

Harvey covered his face with his left hand, and he let out a shuddering breath. His other hand squeezing hers tightly. "Donna, I wish I could turn back time and take back everything that I said and did over those few months. It makes me feel sick to my stomach."

"Have you explained to Donna why you acted that way?" Stan asked.

"We haven't talked about those few months at all," Harvey answered with a shake of his head.

"Why is that, Harvey?"

Harvey lifted his hands and flashed Stan a baffled look. "Donna has already explained, why."

"No, Donna said that you have both been walking on eggshells around each other and that she has been avoiding conversations with you out of fear."

"Exactly!"

"Forgive me, Harvey, but that still doesn't explain _your_ reasons for avoiding the subject." Stan raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I tried several times to talk to her about things, but she would change the subject or just clam up."

"What things specifically?"

"What do you mean?" Harvey asked.

"What specifically did you try to talk to her about?"

Harvey shrugged. "Her father, The Karimov's, Samuel, the kidnapping, her eating, her nightmares—"

"The way you behaved after she kissed you?" Stan interrupted, stopping Harvey dead in his tracks.

Harvey stared at Stan. He knew that there was no point in denying that he'd purposely evaded that topic. Despite knowing that they needed to talk, the thought of addressing those few months had filled him with dread. However, he had discussed it with Stan in his own therapy sessions, and even though he knew Stan would never disclose anything he had told him in confidence, he also knew that denial now was not an option.

"You accused Donna of avoidance, Harvey. It was your response to her when she got angry about you not discussing your decision to leave the firm. But would it be fair to say, that you have _also_ sidestepped this particular topic?"

Harvey sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. "It would," he conceded.

"And why is that?"

He thought for a moment before glancing across to Donna, who was looking at him with fear in her eyes, no doubt worried about what he might say.

He looked down at their hands, which were still intertwined. "Shame," he said. "I'm ashamed. The way I behaved, the way I treated Donna, I feel so godddamn ashamed."

"Why do you think you reacted the way you did, Harvey?" Stan probed.

Harvey bit the inside of his cheek as he summoned the words. "At first, I was confused. The kiss blindsided me and I didn't understand what the fuck I felt." He paused and turned to face Donna, turning her hand over and rubbing his thumb across her palm in circles.

"You're right, Donna. I panicked when you said you wanted more. You asked to be made a partner, and although I knew that you deserved it, I still saw it as you leaving me. No-one has ever understood me as well as you, I never had to explain anything, you just got me… and there you were, telling me you wanted something more, something else…"

"... I thought I'd solved it when I went to Paula. For a while, I had the best of both worlds. You were still there at work, by my side, albeit in a different way, and I had Paula there for everything else. It felt good, I enjoyed being in a grown-up relationship for once." He expelled a sigh and lifted his eyes to hers. "But then you kissed me, and it was like a bolt out of the blue."

Donna inhaled sharply, but she nodded at him to continue.

Harvey's eyes softened. "I never forgot how I felt, all those years ago, when we spent the night together. I've never admitted it to you before now, Donna, but that night scared the shit out of me. It was the first time I'd ever felt like that about a woman, the first time I'd ever felt that kind of connection. I knew I could fall in love with you easily. If I'm honest, I probably already had, but that night, you made me feel vulnerable and I was petrified..." Harvey paused, taking another deep breath.

"...So, when you said you wanted us to put that night out of our minds, part of me was relieved. And I did exactly that. All those feelings I'd had, they never went away, but I buried them. Until you kissed me."

He tilted his head as his eyes locked with hers. "That kiss reignited those buried feelings, and it confused the fuck out of me. Yes, of course I was mad that you'd done it knowing I was in a relationship, you know how I feel about infidelity, but truthfully, that wasn't the reason I was so cruel to you."

Donna's eyes widened and she held her breath, afraid to hear what he might say next.

Harvey squeezed her hands again before continuing. "I felt so goddamn guilty. I was betraying Paula, not because of the kiss, but because I suddenly wanted you more than I wanted her. Maybe I didn't see it clearly at the time, but Christ, I know now, that's what it was. I didn't want to have those feelings, I was with Paula. But, there I was thinking about you, in ways that I shouldn't have been. Thinking about you instead of my girlfriend."

Donna opened her mouth to respond but Harvey shook his head, indicating he wasn't finished.

"Donna, I turned that guilt into anger and rage toward you, because I blamed you. You'd turned my world upside down and I was a complete, fucked up mess. I was punishing you, punishing us both. I knew I was destroying our friendship, I knew that I was hurting you every fucking day. I can still see the look on your face every time I said or did something spiteful, every time I cut you down at work and belittled you, and it hurts me now as much as it did at the time. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop feeling guilty, frustrated, and so fucking angry."

Donna was trembling now, and Harvey lifted her palm and placed a kiss there before continuing.

"Donna. I would do anything to erase the damage I inflicted, as though it had never happened. But I can't. What I can do is tell you that I am so, so sorry. I was such an asshole, and that's a fucking understatement." He grimaced, taking both of her hands in his and cradling them in his own. "I love you. I'm in love with you, and I'm not going anywhere, Donna. You're stuck with me now." There was just a hint of a smile on his face, but only a hint as his eyes were still full of sorrow and guilt. "Can you forgive me?"

Donna gazed at him through tear-filled eyes, and she nodded. "Of course I forgive you, Harvey."

That hint of a smile grew wider on his face. A sense of relief flooding through his veins. Relief, hope and love.

"I never intended to be so nonchalant about your key. It had been on my mind for weeks. I wanted to give it back to you with some grand gesture, but I was afraid to. Afraid that however I did it, it would bring back those memories and we just weren't ready to face those demons." He hesitated, lacing his fingers with hers as he sought the right words. "...and regarding the firm? I should have told you about Mike's offer. I shouldn't have made any decisions without asking you first. I am sorry about that too. If you don't want to go to Seattle, we won't go. If you want to stay at the firm, of course, I will rescind your resignation—"

"What do _you_ want to do, Harvey? Do you really want to leave the firm?"

Harvey met her inquisitorial gaze. She was scrutinizing him, his facial expressions and his body language, ready to challenge him, if she didn't believe his answer.

So he firmly held her gaze, determined that she would trust the truth of his reply.

"I think it's time. If these last few months have taught me anything, they've taught me what's important in life. I love the firm, I love the people there and I will always love corporate law. I'm good at it, and it will always be part of me. But it's not enough for me anymore. You're what's important. My friends and family, too. I'm ready for a change, a new challenge, and I want us to do it together, side by side."

"What about the firm, though Harvey? You've worked so hard to get where you are today. Do you really want to throw it all away?"

"I wouldn't be. The plan is that my name would stay on the wall. I remain as an absentee named partner of the firm, while we're in Seattle. If it doesn't work out with the clinic, then I can always return, if that's what I want to do...and we both agree of course," he quickly added with a nervous smile. "However, if it goes well, and we come back here to open a New York office of Zane Specter Ross, then I can go about the process of leaving the firm more permanently. Mike and Rachel want you to work at the clinic too, managing the office, but only if that's what you want to do." He paused, still not able to get a read on Donna's thoughts. "But, like I said. If you don't want to go to Seattle, we won't go. As long as I have you, I'm good anywhere."

Donna didn't answer, her eyes searched his, seeking honesty in his words. He never dropped his gaze and she slowly started to nod, a smile spreading across her face, to mirror his own.

"Harvey, I've told you before, I'll follow you anywhere."

Harvey cocked his head to the side and he stared at her more seriously. "Donna, I need you to want this too. I don't want you to agree with me, just to make me happy. This has to be a joint decision."

"It is," she assured him with a light chuckle. "I would love to be nearer to Mike and Rachel, and you're right about a change being good for us. If it doesn't work out, it's only a year, and at least we would have tried and we'd know."

"Are you sure? You were so angry yesterday—"

"I'm sure, Harvey. I was angry because it felt like you were taking control away from me, making decisions for me. But now that we've discussed it, I think we should do it. I'm not sure yet if I want to work at the clinic though, I'd need to think about that."

"Okay, then," Harvey said with a widening grin, and he leant forward and captured her lips with his own. Donna sighed into the kiss, and it lingered, them both savouring the moment, until they were interrupted when they heard Stan clear his throat. They pulled apart, both wearing a shy smile, clearly forgetting for a moment where they were.

"This is excellent." Stan clasped his hands together in his lap. "You have both made some wonderful progress, and in a timely manner too," he said with a warm smile and a nod to the clock on the wall. "Our time is up, I'm afraid. I think another joint appointment would be a good idea, if that is agreeable with you?"

Harvey looked to Donna and she smiled in agreement. "Thank you, Stan. I think that would be a great idea."

They left Stan's office hand in hand, starkly different to how they'd arrived. Ray was dutifully waiting for them and as he drove them back to Harvey's condo, they fell into another silence. This one was a little easier than the one they'd sustained just an hour ago.

But only a little easier.

The anxiety, pain, and anger had dissipated, but there was still a tension in the air between them. A highly charged, anticipatory tension full of need and want. As they neared Harvey's home, the air thickened further with desire, their breaths more laboured, their muscles tight and poised.

Ray glanced back at them through the rearview mirror, more than once. The intensity of the atmosphere, the almost electric vibes sparking between them, clearly hard to ignore. Always discreet and ever the gentleman he said nothing, choosing instead to dim the screen between them in an attempt to give them some privacy.

If they had been further from home, Harvey would have pulled her onto his lap and ravished her right there. His pulsating need was so uncomfortable it was almost painful. However he had no intention of starting something he couldn't finish, and gazing out of the window of the Lexus, he was well aware they were only minutes from his building.

Those minutes felt like hours, but finally, Ray pulled up and Harvey was out of the car like a flash, striding around to open the door for Donna, his hand held out to help her step out onto the sidewalk.

The elevator ride up to his penthouse was supercharged. He held on to her hand, their fingers interlocked, and they stood side by side, staring straight ahead, still saying nothing.

The instant Harvey shut the front door behind them, he had her pinned against the wall. Their lips fused, their tongues doing battle, their hands everywhere, simultaneously trying to touch every inch of each other as well as frantically trying to remove coats, scarves and gloves. Damn the winter and the extra layers of clothing the season required.

They stumbled down the hallway, turning and bumping into surfaces on their journey into his apartment, both refusing to relinquish their hold on each other.

They were all roaming hands, scratching nails down backs, fingers tugging at hair.

Teeth clashing, nipping at pulse points, pulling on lips, tasting each other.

Moans and sighs and gasps.

Too impatient to make it to his bedroom, Harvey lifted Donna onto his kitchen counter and she immediately wrapped her legs around his waist. He tugged her cashmere sweater over her head, throwing it to the floor where it was soon joined by the bra he'd deftly removed with a flick of his forefinger and thumb.

Donna's hands flew to his belt, her fingers making light work of his buckle while she niftily popped open the buttons of his jeans. Harvey wasted no time palming her left breast as his head dipped to taste the other, he grazed her nipple with his teeth and then his tongue while Donna gasped, the sensation lighting a fire in her belly. She pulled his head up roughly from her chest so that she could crash her lips against his, their mouths open, their breaths hot and panting.

Harvey hoisted her skirt up past her thighs, so that it bunched at her waist, his fingers hooking into the edges of her thong. She lifted her ass from the counter and he removed her underwear in one swift motion.

Their mouths hungrily met again, both their tongues fighting for dominance, as Donna reached between them, slipping her hand inside his jeans and around his rock hard erection. She rubbed him firmly back and forth and Harvey groaned into her mouth, the sensation simultaneously causing him to stutter as well as spurring him on. With her legs still wrapped around him, she roughly pushed his jeans and boxers down to his hips with her foot in a bid to free him from his constraints.

He then withdrew his lips from hers, and for a moment the only sound was their heavy breathing. He stared at her intensely, almost possessively. His eyes were black as coal save for the fire that was burning behind them. Then he splayed his hands across her backside, and he lifted her hips, pulling her to the edge of the counter and towards him, in one swift motion. Her breath hitched. He placed one hand behind her neck, his fingers weaving into her hair as his other palm pressed against the small of her back. She gripped his cock firmly and guided him to her. He could already feel her wetness, her own desire and need more than evident and it was all the invitation he needed. He thrust forward, sinking into her.

Donna whimpered at the delicious intrusion and Harvey stilled, as they both revelled in the moment. She was hot and slick and tight as she enveloped him, and Harvey had never wanted or needed to be anywhere other than this, right here, inside her, stretching her, feeling her heat all around him. His desire for her was almost overwhelming. He wrapped her hair around his knuckles, and tugged her head back to expose her neck, sweeping his tongue across her throat causing her to groan even louder.

"Fuck...Harvey," she moaned. "I need you now."

He smirked into her neck, nipping her skin there once more before removing his hand from her back and running it up and over her shoulders, across her clavicle, and in between the valley of her breasts. He gently but firmly pushed her down, so that she lay back on her elbows, totally exposed to him. His tongue flicked out and he licked his lips.

He then began to fuck her, slowly at first, his rhythm deliberate and steady. Donna's head fell back, her long auburn hair splayed across the counter as she reached out her hands to grab his forearms, her nails digging into his skin. Her moans and whimpers increased in volume matching the gradual increase in his pace.

It felt exquisite. The passion they shared amplified by their synchronicity. Nothing had ever felt so right, so perfect. Every nerve, every touch, every thrust causing wave after wave of intense pleasure that was only strengthened by their depth of love for one another.

Harvey's hands clutched at her hips and he changed the angle of his thrusts. Donna's response was immediate, she arched her back and cried out his name, screaming that she was close. Harvey, too, felt the familiar tightening in his groin, and as much as he never wanted this feeling to end, especially as he looked down at the sheer beauty of her, her flushed skin, her bouncing breasts, her mouth open, her eyes hooded, he knew he wouldn't last much longer. He picked up the pace once more, as he pounded into her, rough and hard, and when he felt her muscles spasm and clench around him, and he heard her cry a string of expletives, he followed suit, his whole body exploding in pleasure as his orgasm hit, spilling inside of her as he grunted and gasped her name like a mantra.

As their breathing began to slow, Harvey looped his arm underneath her back and lifted her to him, so she was flush against his chest. He kissed her softly and slowly, teasing her mouth open with his tongue before tilting his head and deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands curling over his head as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" he whispered into her mouth as he rubbed his nose against hers, his eyes sparkling with love and a wide smile spreading across his face.

She traced her fingers down his cheek and she shook her head slowly. "I don't think you have, Harvey, no."

Harvey met her loving gaze and he frowned slightly. "There's a lot I never said to you, that I should have."

Donna cupped his face in her hands. "We're both guilty of that."

They breathed each other in, their eyes locked as they acknowledged the truth of her words. Then after one further, languid and sensual kiss, Harvey carefully withdrew from her, eliciting a slight gasp and a tiny pout from Donna at the loss of their connection.

"Come on," Harvey grinned. "Let's go take a shower...and then what do you say, we go out for dinner? We haven't been to Del Posto for a while. I miss you stealing my dessert."

She chuckled at that, but she dutifully followed him to his bathroom, as he led her by the hand, her body still tingling with desire.

It was ten days later, the night before they were due to travel to Seattle for Christmas with the Ross's, that the final hurdle, the final difficult piece of their emotional puzzle, was eventually confronted and put into place.

The previous ten days had been eventful. They had weathered the storm of the aftermath of Harvey's decision to leave Zane Specter Litt remarkably well. The firm had agreed to Harvey's proposal that his position remain open for him for twelve months, his name and reputation carried a lot of weight in the corporate world, and removing it from the wall would have done more harm than good.

Robert was more than happy to take over as Managing Partner, a move that clearly went down well with Samantha. She was fighting with Alex for named partner, and whilst Harvey didn't doubt the abilities of his friend - Alex was after all, a fucking kick-ass lawyer, seeing how formidable Samantha had been in their battle with the Karimov's, Harvey surmised that the battle would not be an easy one for Alex to win. He was therefore relieved that he would not have to get involved with that particular fight.

The most difficult and painful consequence of the decision they made, had been its effect on Louis.

He was devastated. His initial reaction had been shock and disbelief. That had quickly led to anger and accusations of betrayal. He lashed out at them, saying terrible things which they brushed aside, knowing his words came from a place of pain and sorrow.

They knew he loved them both, deeply. His relationship with Harvey may have been tumultuous, but like squabbling siblings, they had both shared a bond and a respect for one another that went way beyond their many, many fights and bitter falling outs. Louis had both admired and resented Harvey, but he'd always seen him as his friend. They'd come through the ranks together, survived every attack on the firm, and been the last two standing from their original beginnings at Gordon, Schmitt, Van Dyke. The loss he felt at losing Harvey was felt keenly and it was then compounded by the fact that Donna was leaving too.

Louis adored Donna. For all the teasing, the fighting and the drama over the years, she had always been there for him. Their shared love of the arts had given them a special bond, something that Harvey had never been a part of, and it had meant everything to him. She had truly been his friend, from comforting him when his heart had been broken more than once, helping him overcome some of his fears and worries and always understanding and accepting his many quirks, foibles, and eccentricities. He trusted her, he loved her and she was leaving him.

After a week of angry outbursts and temper tantrums, Harvey and Donna had paid Louis a visit at his home, at Sheila's behest. They spent the evening with him, reminding him that this wasn't the end of their friendship, that they would always be there for him, and that at the very least, even if they never came back to the firm, they would still be returning to New York in a years time.

" _But how am I going to handle Robert and Samantha on my own?" he mumbled._

" _You won't be on your own, Louis. You'll have Alex and Katrina, not to mention Gretchen fighting in your corner. She will always have your back," Harvey reassured._

_Donna leant forward and placed her hand on Louis's arm. "Besides, with Harvey gone, you'll probably all get on like a house on fire."_

" _Hey!... I'm right here."_

" _Jesus Christ, you're right," Louis murmured. "Without Harvey there, it's bound to become a peaceful and tranquil Zen space of high productivity."_

" _Still here…" Harvey huffed._

_Donna rolled her lips, trying to hide her smirk._

" _You will be fine, Louis. You have Sheila, wonderful friends and colleagues around you. You've got this!" she tilted her head and smiled warmly at him. His eyes were still red rimmed from crying, but he nodded and returned her smile._

_His face then lit up and he looked excitedly between his two friends, before turning to Harvey._

" _Hey, when you come back, if you're no longer working at the firm, and we'll be just friends, not colleagues, do you think you'll finally go mudding with me?"_

" _No, Louis. That's never gonna happen."_

" _Goddamn it," he grumbled._

With Louis somewhat placated and having finally obtained his blessing, they set to work, planning their move.

Donna had given notice on her apartment, broke the news to her parents that they would be leaving New York and then busied herself with final Christmas preparations and packing for their week-long trip to Seattle. As well as spending the holidays with their best friends, they were going to visit the clinic, get a feel for the place and begin looking at apartments.

Harvey threw himself into work, closing off cases and systematically handing over every one of his clients to his partners. Some required more hand holding than others, but overall, the transition went smoothly.

And so, the night before they were due to fly out to Seattle, Donna, being ultra organised, had everything in order, all their presents wrapped, and their bags packed and ready. They had nothing left to do but relax and have some downtime before turning in for an early night, their flight leaving early in the morning. They were curled up together on his couch, watching Survivor, Harvey with a cold beer, Donna with a glass of Rioja.

She rested her head against his chest, smiling to herself every time he shouted at the TV, which was frequent. His investment in the show was an endless source of amusement to her.

He ran gentle circles on her arm absentmindedly, occasionally dipping his head so that he could place a featherlight kiss to her forehead, his eyes though, never leaving the screen.

And it was as she sat sipping her wine, basking in the joy of just being there, with him, in his arms, that the desire to have that one final conversation about their turbulent history, suddenly gripped her. Whether it was because in that moment, she felt such a sense of contentment and happiness that she just knew they were forever, that she no longer had a reason to be afraid, she wasn't sure. She didn't plan on it, the words tumbling from her mouth with abandon.

"Did you love her?"

Harvey froze. His fingers ceased their playful pattern on her arm, and she noted that he gripped his beer bottle a little more tightly.

"What?"

"Paula… Did you love her?" There was nothing accusatory in her tone, no malice, no tension. Just simple curiosity.

Harvey shifted in his seat then, so that he could see her face and ascertain where this sudden question might be coming from. He frowned, scanning her features, but when he saw no pain or hurt there, he visibly relaxed. His frown disappeared, to be replaced with a resigned look that communicated his slight discomfort, but also a sense of relief that they were finally going to talk about a topic they had still predominantly avoided.

"Yes, I did." He paused, searching her eyes for her reaction. She winced slightly but she nodded at his response.

"I wasn't _in_ love with her though. Believe me, I now know the difference," he added with a tilt of his head, his chocolatey brown eyes meeting hers in understanding.

Donna bit her lip and she rested her hand on his chest. "Were you happy with her, though? Do you think you could have had a life with her?"

Despite her calm demeanor, there was a nervousness to her now. Donna didn't doubt her future with Harvey, or his love, but this question had plagued her ever since he had told her he was seeing Paula...and not as his therapist. If she hadn't meddled in their relationship, would he still be with Paula? Would he be settled now and happy?

Harvey reached over to the coffee table and picked up the remote control. He switched off the TV and then twisted in his seat so that he was fully facing her. He took her wine glass, placing it on the table and he gathered her hands and held them in his before lifting his gaze to meet her anxious stare.

"Donna… My relationship with Paula was, for the most part, really easy. She understood me, she could read me. I mean you know how I hate to explain my feelings, right?" He gave a wry smile. "Well, I never had to with her." Harvey's expression grew more serious and he inched a little closer to her.

"Our relationship was safe and comfortable, and I was happy because I had nothing to be afraid of. I had no fear because I knew I wasn't in any danger of getting hurt. She could never have broken my heart...and do you know why?"

Donna shook her head, her eyes wide as she absorbed his words.

"Because she never had my heart... You did."

Donna's bottom lip started to tremble and she smiled at him through watery eyes.

Harvey reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, letting his finger linger down her cheek. "If my relationship with her had naturally come to an end, I knew that I would've been fine. I enjoyed being with her, I was relaxed and happy because it was low risk…"

"...Donna, you said that you were afraid of me breaking your heart. Well, I totally get that, because you _own_ my heart, and you are the only person who has ever had the power to destroy me. I think, deep down, I always knew that, and that's why I kept you close but also kept you at arms length. Then, when you went missing…" He hesitated, swallowing down the still painful memory of those few days. "When you went missing, that's when I realised. I knew you were the love of my life and I almost lost you. From that point on, everything changed. I knew you were the one."

Donna exhaled a deep sigh, all nervousness gone and she smiled widely at him, wiping her cheek to remove the stray tears that had escaped her.

Harvey returned her smile tenfold before drawing his bottom lip between his teeth and giving her hands a gentle squeeze. "I have something for you."

"Oh?" she said with a curious frown.

"Wait here." He stood and walked away, disappearing into his bedroom. He was only gone a few minutes when he returned, holding a small rectangular gift box.

He flopped down next to her and looked at her shyly. "Here...open it," he said softly, holding the box out to her.

With an amused grin on her face, she took it from him and slowly pulled on the bow that was tied around the lid of the box. Lifting the lid, she pulled aside a layer of tissue paper to reveal a key. Harvey's key. The spare key to his condo.

Her eyes flashed up to him and he was staring at her nervously. He cleared his throat. "I know we are moving to Seattle in a few months, but we agreed to keep this condo and I want you to have your own key."

Donna rolled her lips between her teeth and she took a deep breath. "Thank you, Harvey," she whispered.

"I also got you a new fob. It's long overdue. I mean, especially now that I've finally remembered that your name isn't Debbie …"

She giggled at that and batted him away with her hand. She reached for the new keyfob, it was quite heavy, a plain silver pendant in the shape of an arch. She turned it over in her hand.

Her face froze.

There inscribed on the back of the fob were the words "Donna Roberta Paulsen, will you marry me?"

Donna gasped, her heart pounding, and her head lifted, her eyes flashing up to meet his. Her hand then immediately flew up to her mouth in shock to find that he had slipped off of the couch and down onto one knee, the most exquisite emerald and diamond engagement ring clutched between his thumb and forefinger. The only thing more breathtaking than the ring was the expression on his face. Love, adoration, and a definite note of nervousness. He'd never looked more adorable and she didn't think she'd ever loved him more.

"Oh my God!"

Harvey took her hand and swallowed heavily. "So...What do you say?" The timbre of his voice was deep and filled with emotion.

Donna was crying hard now, but her face was filled with joy. "I say yes, Harvey." She lunged forward and planted her lips on his. "Yes!"

His face broke out into the widest grin and he lifted her hand, gently sliding the ring on to her finger. He then circled his arms around her waist and pulled her into his embrace, kissing her softly and tenderly, both their faces wet with tears. As they broke for air, they rested their foreheads together and just gazed at one another. "I love you Donna, more than you could ever know."

"Oh, Harvey. I'm Donna, of course I know." She batted her eyelids at him and he chuckled. Then in one swift motion, he lifted her to her feet and then into his arms, causing her to yelp in surprise.

"What are you doing, Harvey?" she squealed.

"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm taking my fiance to bed."

She giggled at that, and as he carried her to his bedroom, she whispered in his ear, "I love you too, Harvey Reginald Specter. With all my heart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That's it. I hope you enjoyed it and it was a satisfactory ending. Epilogue to follow soon xxx


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, apologies that it took over a month, but this is it...the last ever installment of a story that was only ever intended to be a few chapters long when I started, and became a bit of a monster!
> 
> In true 'me' style, the epilogue kind of ran away with me. They're supposed to be a short tag on, this one is over 10k, my longest one yet - so yeah, I know it's not really an epilogue, more like a final final chapter.
> 
> Thank you to my incredible, amazing beta's that have supported me throughout this journey - Blue, Aimee & Kate. Special mention to Cassie too, who has also gee'd me up & gave me fab advice.
> 
> Finally, thank you to everyone that took a chance on this story and stuck with it, and particularly all those that have taken the time to leave a review. I cannot thank you enough. The comments and feedback kept me going and boosted my confidence when I needed it most. Please, please leave a final review if you can, it would mean the world.
> 
> Love to all
> 
> Jo xx

* * *

**Battling Fate**

Epilogue

Both men stood side by side, looking out of the 40th floor window onto a familiar vista of concrete, glass and steel. The bustling streets below, a vibrant metropolis at their feet just like old times.

"So what do you think?"

"I think it's exclusive, expensive looking and it screams 'Harvey Specter'"

"But?"

Mike contemplated his words as he side-eyed his friend. "But… it doesn't scream 'legal clinic'"

"Good."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "But it _is_ a legal clinic, Harvey."

The older man smirked. "Our clients first point of call will still be the more modest satellite office in The East Village. This, however, will be where opposing counsel and their unscrupulous, evil, money-grabbing corporate clients will be invited to. This is where we'll hold depositions, where we'll negotiate settlements, and they need to know that when we file a class action lawsuit, we mean goddamn business and we can pack one hell of a punch."

Mike gave a tiny smirk. "I never called them unscrupulously evil and money-grabbing."

"No, but you thought it."

The two men glanced at each other and grinned before looking back out at the impressive city skyline.

"Seriously though, Harvey, are you sure? The rent here must be extortionate, and with the money you've already invested in Zane Specter Ross—"

"Mike, I'm sure. We may be friends, but trust me, I wouldn't have invested a dime if I thought it didn't make good business sense. Look at the Seattle office, we've more than tripled the revenue there and it's just going from strength to strength."

"Yes, but that was all out of a modest office space, nothing as swanky as this. Are you sure it's needed?"

"I am." Harvey placed his hands in his pockets and cast his eyes across the many office buildings before him. "This is New York. This is where the corporate big guns are, and like I told you when you first started working at Pearson Hardman, these people always respond to first impressions, to how we look. I want them to come here and have no doubt that not only can we go toe to toe with them, but we're also more than likely to kick their ass."

Mike slowly nodded. He didn't doubt Harvey's conviction or his reasoning. His old mentor and now business partner of two years was not only the best lawyer he'd ever met, but he'd turned out to be an astute businessman too. However, it wasn't the cost of the investment needed to get their New York project fully off the ground that concerned him. It was the timing of it. This last year, and in particular, the last few months had been turbulent, to say the least.

"Is now the right time, Harvey?"

Harvey sighed. "It's not ideal, no. But you know we've been looking for the right location for some time now, and this place is perfect. I've pulled in a few favours and we have first refusal on the lease, but it's a small window of opportunity. It's now or never."

Mike continued to stare straight ahead as he listened to Harvey's reasoning. He didn't answer, and Harvey seemed to sense his apprehension.

"Mike, it will be okay. The lease won't start until March anyway, that's still six weeks away and then it's going to take a couple of months before the office is fully operational. I don't need to be here before then. With the new staff we've already got on board, I probably won't need to be here full time until early summer."

Mike looked down to his feet then. "Okay… But I have to ask, Harvey. What will you do if the verdict tomorrow doesn't go the right way?"

Harvey immediately tensed his jaw. "It will."

"But what if it doesn't?" Mike pressed. He wouldn't normally push the issue, Harvey's tone leaving no doubt that he wasn't interested in entertaining the idea of the alternative, but they were business partners now and even though it was primarily Harvey's money that had bankrolled their venture, Mike was equally invested in it. The results of the trial tomorrow not only weighed heavily on them both, but the outcome could change everything.

Harvey closed his eyes, and Mike could sense the waves of tension rolling off of him. He reached out a hand and clasped his friend's shoulder. "I agree with you, Harvey. I really do. I'm sure that everything will go fine tomorrow, but before we fully commit to this, I need to know what you plan on doing, just in case it doesn't."

Harvey glanced across to his friend and he met his concerned frown with a determined stare. "We move ahead regardless. The rest, we'll deal with one day at a time." He took a deep breath. "Life has to go on, Mike."

They held each other's gaze as a wordless acknowledgement passed between them, the silence only broken when Harvey's phone began to ring. He retrieved it from his jacket pocket and noting the caller ID, immediately answered the call.

"Hey." His voice noticeably softened, but then to Mike's concern, he visibly paled and his eyes widened as he looked up to Mike almost in panic. "I'll be right there."

"What's happened?" Mike asked, his heart sinking. He sensed it wasn't great news and he held his breath, waiting for Harvey to answer.

"It's Donna… I need to get to the hospital." His voice wobbled and Mike nodded immediately whilst simultaneously praying that just for once, after these last few months, his best friend could catch a break.

"Okay, Harvey. Let's go."

* * *

They sat in silence in the back of the limo, the chauffeur, although professional and friendly, wasn't Ray. Harvey's old trusted driver had long since found alternative employment when Harvey had left for Seattle, and Harvey wasn't interested in making small talk with the new guy.

He wouldn't have wanted to talk anyway. His mind was racing at a million miles per hour and his heart was pounding at a similar pace. He was staring out of the window, trying not to freak out as wave after wave of fear and nausea washed over him. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to stay calm.

Everything would be okay. It had to be. After all they'd been through, everything they had suffered, he refused to accept anything less.

He thought back over the last two years of his life and the incredible roller-coaster of a journey they had been on.

It had started with their first Christmas together as a couple in Seattle with Mike and Rachel, the Ross newly weds beyond excited that their friends were not only happy and obviously in love, but also now engaged. The change in scenery and time spent with their friends had been exactly what they'd both needed. They'd taken the week to sample what Seattle had to offer, whilst enjoying the company of their closest friends. It had been an escape from all the trauma and pain they had recently suffered, and for those few days, they managed to relax, as they laughed, loved and happily lost themselves in each other.

Just as Harvey had predicted, they managed to wrap up their lives in New York and they found themselves back out in Seattle by February of the following year. Harvey threw himself into his new partnership at the clinic with Mike and Rachel, as Donna set about searching for a new home. She did consider their offer of managing the office of Zane Specter Ross, but it soon became apparent that the recovery from her ordeal was going to be a slow process. Every day she got a little better, a little stronger and closer to the Donna she'd been before, but she was tentative and nervous, often second guessing herself. Then, there would be occasions where someone would say something, or there would be a sudden trigger like a sound or smell and she would freeze, or worse, have a panic attack and it took several months before the nightmares completely stopped.

It was March of that year, a month into their move, that their relationship shifted once again.

The catalyst for change had been a conversation Donna had with Rachel about a recent visit from Robert and Laura. Rachel had mentioned that her parents had been hinting at the prospect of grandchildren and she confided in Donna that her and Mike had discussed starting a family and had decided to wait a couple of years. The clinic was their priority and they also wanted to just enjoy newly married life before adding children into the mix. The conversation had apparently hit a nerve with Donna and it lingered in her mind. She said nothing to Harvey at first, but the idea took hold and with a growing sense of awareness, she realised that a child, Harvey's child, was something that she desperately wanted.

However, she was afraid that he wouldn't feel the same, or worse, that he would, but she would be unable to make him a father. Unlike Rachel, Donna realised she didn't have the luxury of time. She was in her mid forties and despite being fit and healthy, she was well aware of the statistics. As she wrestled with that notion, her fears began to fester. Like a suppurating boil, her doubts spewed a whole myriad of worries and anxieties.

It only took a week of watching his fiancee spiral about whatever it was that was troubling her, before Harvey snapped. A few terse words followed by an argument over something ridiculous and forgettable, Harvey had had enough and he demanded she tell him what was going on.

He'd be lying if he tried to claim that the thought of children hadn't occurred to him, especially since he'd decided on forever with Donna. Forever meant family, and the possibility of having one with the love of his life had not only crossed his mind but had featured frequently in his dreams. However, he'd not dwelt on the thought as his primary concern had simply been her well being, and wanting to see her better and back to her old self.

What he hadn't been prepared for, was how much Donna seemed to want it. Her confession shocked him, but he wasted no time reassuring her of her first fear, that even though just being with her was enough to make him the happiest man alive, starting a family with her would be the icing on the cake.

Her other fear, that having decided it was something they wanted, to possibly then discover that it might not happen for them, he approached more pragmatically.

He sourced the best fertility doctor in Seattle and booked an appointment for them the next day. He supported her as best he could, telling her that worrying about it would not help, and reassuring her that whatever lay ahead for them, they would always have each other and he loved her.

They did their research, they made changes to their lifestyle, they kept a positive attitude and they had lots, and lots of sex. The latter being the easiest part of their plan, as they found it difficult to keep their hands off each other anyway.

Then in June of that first year they met with their fertility specialist and were faced with a harsh reality check. Donna's fears were realised when she was told that whilst certainly not impossible, her chances of conceiving naturally were slim. Her age was indeed a factor. As the doctor reeled off all possible alternatives they might want to also consider, egg donors, IVF, even adoption, Harvey watched in dismay as she seemed to shut down. She looked defeated and he felt helpless.

He tried on their journey home that day to offer her words of comfort. He tried to tell her that they could still keep trying anyway, that if they went for the egg donor option, she could still carry their child, that this was a setback but it wasn't the end of their dream to have children. But he already knew that his words were redundant. Deep down, he sensed that even time to digest and process the news they'd received that day would make no difference. As they stepped over the threshold of their home, it was mere seconds and she broke down, sobbing in his arms. She cried all her fears, frustrations and pain out that night. He held her, he comforted her as best he could. He loved her.

They talked the next day. Donna confessed what he already suspected, that she didn't want to pursue more treatments, she didn't want to consider IVF and egg donors. She confided in him that she had hated how much the idea of conceiving had consumed her, how she felt it had already taken over her life, when all she truly wanted was to love him and be loved by him. Her only worry was that Harvey would be disappointed, that he would want them to try different avenues.

Even though he was quick to reassure her that she would always be all that he ever wanted or needed, he saw the sadness behind her eyes. Despite her words to the contrary, he knew that the longing remained and he also suspected that she harboured guilt too, and he hated that he couldn't eradicate that pain and guilt for her. That no matter what he said, or no matter the many ways he showed her how much he loved her, he would never be able to convince her that she would always be enough for him.

He decided that same week that Donna needed something positive to focus on. He needed to see her smile again. At least, a smile that properly reached her eyes.

With a few phone calls to some old friends, and a bit of surreptitious scheming with Mike and Rachel, his co-conspirators, he had a plan of action.

He waited for their weekly date night, choosing to cook Spanish Romesco chicken, her favourite of his dishes. They ate by candlelight, drinking fine wine, laughing together and sharing stories, both old and new. It was later that evening, as they swayed to his father's music, their arms wrapped around each other, Donna's head resting on his chest, his cheek against her forehead that he revealed his surprise.

" _I have something for you," he whispered against her brow._

" _Oh?"_

_She pulled back slightly and eyed him curiously._

_He reluctantly released his hold on her and reached down to the coffee table, lifting the lid on the rectangular textured silver box that was placed there. He retrieved a white envelope and handed it to her, his expression a little nervous, but his eyes failing to disguise the excitement he felt._

_Donna instinctively realized that this was something he had been planning for some time, and she frowned. It wasn't that Harvey was averse to giving her gifts, on the contrary, she'd discovered that he frequently liked to shower her with tokens of his affection. He just rarely managed to surprise her, and she hadn't seen this coming at all._

" _Open it then," he said with a nudge, his mouth turning up at the corners as he watched her puzzlement with amusement._

_She dutifully obeyed, her finger sliding under the envelope and her frown morphed into a look of genuine surprise when she revealed the contents._

" _We're going to New York?" she asked, as her eyes scanned over the first class flight tickets._

_He nodded. "That's not all," he said biting his lip as he pointed to her hands, still clutching the envelope._

_She looked inside and found an embossed card detailing an appointment for her and Rachel at Mark Ingram's Atelier. She inhaled sharply and her eyes flashed up to his._

" _Oh my god—"_

" _Rachel assures me that it's the best. She's beyond excited at helping you choose 'the' dress."_

_Her mouth fell open as she digested what he was trying to tell her. He stepped forward and placed his hands at her waist._

" _Donna. I don't want to wait anymore. I want you to be my wife."_

" _Harvey—"_

" _I know that we agreed to always discuss everything, but I kinda wanted to surprise you for a change. So, I've arranged everything." He was looking at her nervously now, worrying slightly that he'd called it wrong, and she might be mad at him. "We fly out to New York on Tuesday, Rachel and Mike too. She's going to help you choose your dress and get whatever else you need, and then on Saturday, we're getting married."_

_Donna continued to stare at him open mouthed, so Harvey took her silence as an opportunity to continue. "I know you said that you didn't want a huge wedding, and it won't be, I promise. But I have put a lot of thought into it. Everyone that we care about will be there, and I'm confident that it will be—"_

_He didn't get to finish his sentence as she launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck and crushing his lips with hers. He immediately responded by pulling her into his embrace and returning her kiss with equal passion before breaking out into the widest grin. Relief and joy flooding his veins as he once again saw the sparkle in her eyes._

" _I love you, Harvey Specter," she gasped before continuing to kiss him senseless._

Harvey closed his eyes and his heart leapt as he recalled that night. How happy they'd been.

And their wedding was indeed perfect.

They exchanged their vows on a warm balmy evening at the end of June before their closest friends and family. The service was held at Louis's beach house, Harvey having decided that there was nowhere better, the venue holding such a special place in their hearts.

He could still picture her now, so vividly. A vision of beauty and grace in a simple but exquisitely embroidered Dana Harel gown, her hair in waves with a delicate crown of lilies and peonies woven into her auburn locks. She looked ethereal and she had quite simply taken his breath away as they'd stood there in the sand and promised themselves to each other. For a man that once claimed that he was against having emotions, that caring made you weak, he let the tears fall freely that day, and he didn't give a damn what anyone thought of him.

They honeymooned in Paris and London. The former satisfying his desire to take her to the city she had dreamed of visiting when she was younger. Of course it didn't hurt that the city was regarded as the lovers capital of the world, and they took every opportunity to fulfil all the romantic cliches whilst they were there.

In London, Harvey indulged Donna in her love of theatre, having secured tickets to all the finest shows, from the big productions on Shaftesbury Avenue and Drury Lane to some of the smaller fringe shows of the West End. He even managed to surprise her on the penultimate day of their honeymoon with a trip to Stratford-Upon-Avon for a front row performance of Hamlet at the RSC. Donna had been in her element. She'd been giddy with excitement all day, right up until the lights dimmed and the actors took to the stage, when she'd become totally transfixed and mesmerised by the production.

Harvey couldn't have told anyone a thing about the play, or any of the shows they went to see during that second week of their honeymoon. For as spellbound as Donna was as she sat staring at the stage, Harvey paid no attention, for he was equally spellbound by her. Completely enraptured, and his heart bursting with love, he observed all her reactions, her micro expressions as she followed the actors every word, the way her eyes would sparkle, or tear up, the odd gasp in shock, the way she'd bite her lip and frown or suddenly belly laugh with abandon. Watching her was better than any show could ever be, and he revelled in every second.

They returned from their honeymoon and settled happily into married life in Seattle. Harvey helped grow the clinic with Mike and Rachel, Donna continued her therapy and having been inspired by their trip to London, she also joined a local theatre group, eager to dust off the cobwebs and flex her acting muscles once more.

Then just before Christmas of that first year, life threw them another curveball. Two in fact.

The first was a phone call from Sean Cahill with troubling news.

Before their move in February, one of the last things Harvey had done, with help from Mike, was to work with Sean one more time to get all of Forstman's assets frozen. Harvey may have given Charles a reprieve by not having him transferred to within arms reach of Roman, but he was damned if he was going to let the bastard off scot free. It wasn't enough that Forstman's sentence was to be extended significantly. Harvey had observed just how cushy Charles's stay in prison had been, and it had only been comfortable because he'd never lost access to his money. Harvey was determined to put an end to his gravy train. No more paying off guards, other inmates or whoever else he'd been bribing to ensure his prison stay resembled that of a four star hotel.

So, with Sean's help, they liaised with the FBI and saw to it that Forstman's assets were seized under the process of criminal forfeiture. It went some way to appeasing Harvey, who's hatred for the man was deep seated. As far as Harvey was concerned, Charles's fate was sealed the second he'd put Donna in danger.

However, Sean's phone call changed all of that.

Forstman didn't have friends, Harvey had no doubt of that fact. However, what he did have was plenty of people in his pocket. Powerful people whom he had leverage on. People that he had influence over. From his now considerably less than comfortable prison cell, he was still the puppet master, pulling the strings, and just mere months after having his assets seized, Forstman had been granted an appeal hearing.

Donna took the news in stride. It was only an appeal after all, and the man was still in jail, and would be for many, many years to come. Harvey, however, was livid. He knew his adversary well enough to suspect that Charles had more than a few aces up his sleeve, and he just didn't trust that the son of a bitch wasn't planning some new scheme to come after him. Again. In fact, his gut told him that that was exactly what Forstman was doing and it riled him. He found himself dwelling on the realisation that had he stuck to his original plan, and had Charles transferred to Rikers, it was unlikely that the asshole would still be a problem.

He tried to push that thought away. He knew deep down that heeding Donna's plea's and not going through with the plan had been the right thing to do, but he couldn't help but feel bitter about it.

Then, just as he tried to reconcile that notion, the second curve ball hit.

Roman's trial.

What should have been a slam dunk case for the fed's, suddenly wasn't. Karimov had an impressive team of defense attorneys and they were systematically picking apart every element of the federal prosecutors case. As each month passed, and the case dragged on, the chances of a successful conviction of all the charges brought against Roman, looked less and less certain.

This _did_ affect Donna. With every passing day, as the case against Roman weakened, she became more anxious and agitated and by late spring of the following year, her nightmares had returned.

Harvey, already furious about Forstman, was now beside himself with rage. He tried to keep his temper in check, he tried to remain positive and calm, but as he watched his wife begin to spiral again, he couldn't help but vent his frustration. Everyone bore the brunt of his anger. Mike, Rachel, his mother and brother, even Donna herself.

He knew he wasn't handling it well, that he was lashing out at those that meant the most to him, but his anger was born out of fear. Fear that they would never truly escape the nightmare from their past. Fear that they would never be free of it, never be safe.

Then in June, just shy of their first wedding anniversary, Donna was served with a subpoena. She'd been called by Roman's defense team to testify in his case. She took one look at the written notice in her hand and immediately threw up.

It was the tipping point for them. Harvey was incandescent with rage and was spoiling for a fight, furious that Donna could be made to suffer such an ordeal, and frightened of the physical toll it was taking on her.

Then Donna made a confession that was a wake up call for Harvey. She revealed to him that her visceral reaction to the subpoena was less about Roman, and more about him.

" _You are already angry and stressed, Harvey. Your mood is sour all the time, and I fear what this latest development might do to you. I'm frightened of losing you to this."_

That stopped Harvey in his tracks. His fear was almost self-perpetuating. He was allowing it to drive a wedge between them, and her worry that she was losing him to his fury and frustration was making her ill.

So he swallowed down all his fears, parked his inherent desire to be in control and fix the situation himself, and he placed a call to Louis and Samantha. He stepped back, allowing them to take the reins and trusting them to take care of the situation.

The case continued to drag on, but his friends did manage to prevent Donna from having to testify. Donna's sickness, however, did not abate. The trial still took its toll on her, the nightmares so vivid that she got little sleep, the knock-on effect meaning she struggled to function during the day. She took comfort in Harvey and the attention and love he lavished on her, but she once again seemed a mere shadow of her former self, her appetite lost, her energy reserves low. It was like she was running on empty.

Little did they know at the time, that there was more going on with Donna than just her stress and anxiety over the case.

"Harvey, we're here."

Mike's voice interrupted his thoughts, his recollections immediately pushed to the back of his mind as his heart leapt into his throat once more.

He raced into the hospital, Mike hot on his heel. He strode out like a man on a mission, his destination his only focus. When he reached the door to the now all too familiar private room, Mike touched his shoulder.

"I'm gonna call Rachel, let her know. I'll be out here if you need me, okay Harvey?"

He gave a quick nod in response, his face ashen, before entering the room.

"Harvey!"

Donna looked up at him as he made his way over to her, her eyes wide and worried, her lip quivering. She reached out to him as he swiftly crossed the room so that he was by her side, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips.

"Hey," he said softly, running his fingers through her hair before leaning in and pressing a kiss against her forehead. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"You're here now." She tried to smile but he could see the fear in her eyes and hear the tremble in her voice.

"What happened?... Everything was fine when I left this morning."

She swallowed. "My blood pressure spiked again, despite the medication. I could tell they were worried, Harvey. Then the pain...Shit!" She suddenly gasped, her face contorting in pain and Harvey felt her grip on his hand tighten.

"Donna!" Harvey blanched, panic licking up his insides.

"It's happening, Harvey," she managed to sputter out through gritted teeth.

Harvey's eyes widened as he absorbed her words. "But…"

"I know, it's early. But the pains started and with my blood pressure being so high again, they said they would have induced me anyway," she gasped, and then whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "Harvey...I'm scared."

Harvey swallowed heavily. "Hey, hey...it's okay. I'm here. It's going to be okay." He cupped her cheek with his other hand and searched her eyes, trying to reassure her.

"You don't know that, Harvey. They're saying it's pre-eclampsia. You know how much that puts us at risk."

"I know, but you're here, they're monitoring you, and if it is pre-eclampsia, it's actually a good thing if you're in labour."

"That's what I've been trying to tell her for the last hour." The door had swung open and their obstetrician, Dr. Benesch entered the room. She smiled at them both as she made her way over to all the machines that were hooked up to Donna, monitoring her closely. "You were only grumbling this morning, Donna, about how you'd had enough of being here."

Donna tried to smile but the worry she felt was clearly evident on her face.

"So she is definitely in labour?" Harvey asked.

"She is," Dr. Benesch confirmed. "And you are right, Mr Specter, with her high blood pressure, that's a good thing."

Harvey gulped, his heart racing. "What happens now? Will you have to do a cesarean?"

Dr. Benesch shook her head. "With pre-eclampsia, a natural birth is preferable, so for now that's what we're aiming for. I need to examine you, Donna, and see how far along you are, is that okay?"

Donna nodded and Harvey stood, leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on his wife's lips, he lingered there, savouring the feel of her, allowing it to placate him, like their kisses always did, his heart beating wildly. He knew he had to remain calm for both their sakes. She needed him now, more than ever. "I'm just going to step outside and let Mike know what's happening and I'll call your parents too. Then I'll be right back here, okay?"

Donna frowned, clearly not wanting Harvey to leave, but she nodded at him, reaching up to kiss his lips once more before he left.

Harvey stepped outside and Mike looked up, his phone to his ear. He mumbled a few words and ended the call before standing to greet his friend. "How is she?"

"Her blood pressure spiked, they think it's pre-eclampsia...They were going to induce her but she's in labour already." Harvey was breathing heavily as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Shit, Harvey. Are they going to be okay?"

Harvey didn't answer. He was almost afraid to. Despite Dr. Benesch's optimism, he was petrified. There was excitement and hope too, no doubt about that. The prospect of his impending fatherhood never far from his mind, but nothing had been easy so far, they had been faced with one hurdle after another, and the last year had been an emotional struggle to say the least.

Consequently, he was too scared to embrace that excitement, so worried about Donna and all the possible things that could go wrong. Despite the possibility of this being one of the happiest days of his life, he was scared shitless at the prospect that it could turn out to be the complete opposite. He could literally lose everything. That wouldn't just be the worst day of his life, it would end him.

"They _have_ to be, Mike." He looked back at his friend, his gaze conveying both his apparent fear but also his stubborn refusal of any other possible outcome. " _She_ has to be," he added, his voice breaking on the words.

Mike stepped forward and embraced his friend, as though to bolster him as well as comfort him. "It's gonna be fine, Harvey, I'm sure of it. Now...You go back in there and be with your wife... your family," he corrected with a small smile. "I'll take care of everyone else okay?"

Harvey pursed his lips and nodded his gratitude.

When he made his way back into Donna's room and to her side, Dr. Benesch was finishing up her examination and she gave him an encouraging smile.

"Mr Specter, you'll be pleased to hear your wife is at 5cm dilated. That's really good progress. I've just explained to Donna that considering the circumstances, an epidural would be advisable. It will help with the pain and is also precautionary in case we do need to intervene with a C-Section."

Harvey opened his mouth to respond when Donna suddenly gasped.

"Fuck!" she cried out as another contraction hit. "Jesus... Mother of...! Fucking hell!" She had grabbed hold of Harvey's arm and was squeezing it with all her might, her face contorted.

Harvey's eyes widened, both from the surge of pain in his arm and also her sudden outburst. However his instinct to protect and soothe her kicked in, and pushing his panic aside, he scooted closer to her. "You're doing great, Donna. Breathe...remember the exercises—"

His words faltered when Donna's eyes flew open and she flashed him a killer glare. "Harvey, I swear to god, don't you dare...Christ!" Her chin fell to her chest as her muscles tensed and she gritted her teeth through the pain. Harvey looked on helplessly, his desire to help her now thwarted by a sense that whatever he said or did would most likely be derided.

Eventually the contraction subsided and Donna's head fell back against the pillow. She was panting and her lip started to tremble as her eyes filled with tears. She turned her head to her husband. "Sorry," she whispered. "That one was a bitch!"

"Hey, don't be. I deserve it. I'm the one who got you in this state," he said with a slight smirk, feeling relieved.

"Don't remind me," she scoffed, but for the first time since he'd arrived back at the hospital, there was a hint of a smile behind her words.

Harvey pulled up his chair and clasped her hand between his own. "I love you, Donna. So much," he said so earnestly that the sentiment immediately softened her expression. "I wish I could take the pain away for you."

"I know you do."

Donna's labour continued like this for several hours. Her contractions became more frequent and intense, but with her epidural the pain had subsided.

Not their fear though. Her blood pressure continued to be a problem, and then, not long after her water finally broke, it was action stations. Donna looked panicked as monitors bleeped, medical staff surrounded her and reality dawned on her that this indeed was happening.

"Harvey?" Donna gasped, as final preparations were made for her to start pushing.

He had his lips pressed against her forehead, as he stroked her hair and her cheek, and he desperately fought to keep his own emotions at bay. The simultaneous feelings of excitement and worry overwhelming him. "I'm here. You can do this, Donna."

She took a deep breath and stared at him, the fear in her eyes mirroring how he felt. "Harvey, I'm so scared."

Harvey gulped but he cupped her cheeks and met her stare with so much love.

"I have faith in you. You've always been the strong one, and this is no different."

"But it is different, Harvey. This isn't just me. It's not just my life that's at risk. So much has gone wrong for us—"

"Hey, you can't think like that." Harvey searched her eyes, desperate to convey to her how much he loved her and how much he believed in her. "I want you to listen to me now, okay?"

Donna nodded through her tears as she clung to him.

"There have been so many times you've blown me away with your strength and your courage. You always claim that I'm the one that gets the job done, that always wins, well that's only because I've always had you. I've had your strength and your belief in me. You were my secret weapon. That hasn't changed. Things haven't been easy for us, but look where we are now? Yeah, we've had some knock backs but we've survived and we've beaten the odds. So, I have complete faith in you. You are incredible, and you _can_ do this."

"Okay, Donna, honey. Are you ready to push?" Dr. Benesch's voice interrupted them. "On the next contraction, okay? I need you to bear down really hard."

Donna pursed her lips and nodded her response. She glanced at her husband.

"I love you, Harvey," she said with a slight gasp. "Whatever happens, I need you to keep talking to me, okay?" she pleaded.

Harvey squeezed her hand. "Okay." He kissed her then, his tongue sweeping across her lip, and he brushed her nose with his as he summoned his warmest and most confident smile.

The machines signalled her next contraction and Donna obeyed the instructions she was given. With her hand clasped tightly in Harvey's she focused all her energy and pushed with all her might.

"That's great Donna, keep going, keep going. Fantastic…that's it. Okay, and relax. That was really good." Dr. Benesch patted her on the knee and smiled.

Harvey let out a steadying breath and remembering Donna's plea, he leant even closer to her so that he could whisper in her ear as her own breathing began to slow a little.

"Do you remember when we found out you were pregnant? We were still reeling from the whole trial mess, and you were so sick, I was so worried about you. I knew that it was more than just stress… and we went to see Dr. Fang..."

"Dr. Feng"

"Feng, Fang… you can't blame me, he looked like he slept in a crypt."

Donna snorted and Harvey winked at her. The machine's bleeped and the doctor nodded at them.

"Okay, Donna. Ready?"

Donna took a deep breath and began to push, her chin close to her chest, her eyes squeezed shut, her hand shaking in Harvey's with her expended effort.

"That's fantastic Donna. Keep going. You're doing so well!"

Donna cried out with her last ounce of breath and her head fell back. Harvey rested his forehead against hers, as he brushed her hair from her damp skin. "You're amazing," he whispered.

"I don't think I can do this, Harvey," she whimpered.

"Yes you can. You know how I know? They told us this would never happen, we never thought it could happen for us and then it did. It's meant to be. Just like us." He kissed her again. "Remember when we went back for the test results. I was so frightened, Donna. Then when he told us you were pregnant...We were so stunned."

"You were speechless for five minutes."

Harvey grinned. "I was so overwhelmed with joy."

"Okay Donna, here comes another one. I want you to give everything you've got, okay?"

They continued like this for another twenty minutes, Donna giving her all on every contraction, Harvey calming and soothing her after each one, although he had less time to talk to her about those early days of their pregnancy, as her contractions were coming much quicker now, with little time for rest in between.

She was beginning to severely tire, he could sense that, and he didn't fail to notice the exchange of concerned looks between Dr. Benesch and the nursing staff.

Her breathing was more labored, and he noticed her blood pressure was rising again. He could feel his own pulse began to race and he glanced across to the doctor as Donna's eyes briefly closed. She gave him a nod which confirmed his thoughts. One more push and if there was still no change, they would likely have to intervene.

"Donna, sweetheart?" he whispered softly. "I know you're really, really tired, but I also know that you can do this. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I need you to channel all that awesomeness into this next push, okay?"

Donna moaned but she nodded at him as he wiped her brow, looking down at her with complete adoration.

"Okay, here we go. Come on Donna, you can do this."

Donna lifted her head off the pillow, she leant forward and poured every ounce of energy she had into her push.

"That's it, that's it, the head is through Donna…. Okay, I need you to pant, take a breath, and then one more push for the shoulders okay?"

Donna was gripping Harvey's hand so tightly, he'd lost feeling in his fingers. He was desperate to see, but was determined not to leave his wife's side, sensing she needed him now, more than ever.

Donna took a deep breath and began bearing down once more. She threw everything into it, every muscle shaking, her eyes squeezed shut. Then, with cries of encouragement from her doctor, the nurses, and Harvey, she practically roared her last ounce of energy and the sound of her scream was suddenly replaced with the distinct cries of a newborn baby.

Donna collapsed back into the pillow as Harvey gasped. He looked from his wife to Dr. Benesch as she lifted a wrinkled, pink, white and red bundle of flailing limbs.

"Well done, Donna!" Dr. Benesch exclaimed with the widest grin. "Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby boy."

Donna was sobbing, they both were, as they watched the doctor whip their son across to the nurses where they immediately began their checks.

"Is he okay?" Donna panted, her eyes half closed from sheer exhaustion.

"Well he certainly has a strong pair of lungs. He looks healthy, but I need to check him over, alright?"

Harvey was crying freely now, he tore his eyes away from his newborn son as he looked back to his wife, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "We have a son," he whispered to her as he dropped his forehead against hers. They stared into each other's eyes, not needing to say anything, every feeling communicated so effortlessly between them.

"He looks well, Mr and Mrs Specter. He'll need to go up to NICU as a precaution, because he's premature, but would Dad like to hold him first, while I check Mom?"

Harvey swallowed hard as he looked back at Donna, who was fighting to stay awake. "What about—"

"That's what I'm going to check now, okay? Everything looks okay for the moment, but I need to check."

Harvey nodded as a nurse approached him with a warm smile before placing the tiny bundle in his arms. He could feel himself shaking, but then he looked down at the tiny pink baby cradled against him and his heart swelled. He sucked in a whoosh of air as he gazed at his son.

"Hey there, little fella," he chuckled through his tears. "I'm your dad." His little boy's eyes were tightly closed, but the little snuffles he made melted Harvey's heart.

"Donna?" Dr. Benesch's voice caught his attention, and he instantly picked up on her cautionary tone.

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked, his heart leaping up into his throat.

"Nothing's wrong. Donna's contractions have stopped, which is not unusual. So we're going to need to give her some hormones to start them again. The good news is, baby number two is in a good position, so once I break her waters, it shouldn't be too long before we find out if this handsome little chap has a brother or a sister."

"But she's exhausted," Harvey said, as his gaze fell on her limp form. Her eyes were closed, and she looked totally drained and spent. His feelings of helplessness returned. How could she possibly go through all of that again?

Dr. Benesch appeared to read his thoughts, for she reached over to him and touched his arm. "The second baby often comes much quicker. Your son here has already paved the way for his twin."

"When?"

"Most likely within the next half hour. She can rest briefly whilst we administer her drip. The nurses will need to take this handsome boy now though, okay?"

Harvey nodded and placed a gentle kiss on his son's cheek before standing up and handing him to one of the two nurses assigned to him. He watched with both a full and heavy heart as his baby boy was taken from the room, before his attention switched back to Donna who was still sleeping, albeit briefly.

He reached up and took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. Every day he was sure he couldn't possibly love her any more than he already did, yet every day his heart swelled further with complete devotion.

He had nothing but admiration for the way she'd handled the last year. From Forstman, to Roman's trial, to her unexpected pregnancy.

After their initial euphoria at the news that she was pregnant, she'd faced a multitude of problems. She bled very early on, having to be admitted to the ER on more than one occasion, her bleeding so severe. She made it to her twelve week scan, only for them to be blindsided once again, when the sonographer detected more than one heartbeat.

Twins. Not unusual for a woman of her age, apparently, but it completely floored them.

It certainly explained the severe nausea and fatigue, and unfortunately neither of these symptoms improved for Donna throughout her pregnancy.

Then in the middle of her second trimester, they received news that her father had suffered a massive stroke. He beat the odds and survived it, but he was left severely debilitated as a result. With Jim now partially paralysed and barely able to speak, Donna was devastated.

They made the decision to move back to New York. Not only did Donna want to be nearer to her parents, but Harvey secretly felt better knowing his wife would be in New York for the later stages of her pregnancy. He had no problem with the excellent medical care they had received in Seattle, but New York was familiar to him, he knew people. People that he could help them with whatever they might need moving forward. Besides, they'd already been in Seattle for more than the initially planned twelve months, the clinic there was thriving and it was time that he began planning the opening of their New York office.

So they moved back to Manhattan.

Donna tried to spend as much time with her parents as possible. Thankfully, Clara and Jim had already reconciled their marriage not long after Jim's attack, so the pressure on Donna was alleviated knowing her mother was there for him, 24/7. She, herself, was struggling though, the nausea and fatigue taking its toll along with the worry for her father and also Roman's trial that was still dragging on. Harvey saw to it that Jim's development project was finished which offered some comfort to them and also meant her parents were more than financially secure.

That comfort did little to pacify Harvey though, when they heard the news that Forstman had won his appeal and not only had access to his money again, but the bastard was now seeking to appeal his extended sentence.

Harvey didn't have the luxury of dwelling on that new development though, for Donna, now in her third trimester, began suffering severe headaches, her nausea worsened and most alarmingly, her blood pressure began to rise. She ended up being hospitalized, so that her and the twins could be closely monitored.

She never complained. He knew she was scared. Christ, _he_ was petrified, but she rarely voiced her fears and she never vented her frustrations out on Harvey. She took every day, one day at a time, determined to stay positive and he suspected she did this for him. She understood his inherent need to protect her and keep her safe. If she stayed calm, then maybe so could he.

The only thing that betrayed her deep fear was her insistence that they not discover the sex of the babies. Harvey was puzzled at first, especially knowing Donna's natural predilection for planning. However, after confiding in his mother, Lily suggested that it was one way Donna could hold back from the twins. Confused, he'd asked her to elaborate.

" _She loves those babies, Harvey. Of course, she does. She's carrying them and growing them. But without knowing their gender, it helps to not see them yet as sons or daughters. She's trying to protect herself a little, in case anything goes wrong."_

So they chose not to discover the gender of their babies, which was no easy feat considering the number of scans Donna was required to have. She would often joke with the sonographer that if he or she let it slip, she'd get Harvey to sue their ass.

Harvey continued to watch her sleep now, his heart bursting with love for her, so thankful for all that she had done for him. He was now a father. He has a son. He pursed his lips in a vain attempt to stop his tears from falling. His mind then automatically drifted to the other baby still to make an appearance. His breath hitched as he wondered whether they would be blessed with another son, or maybe a daughter. He shook his head slightly. He honestly had no preference as long as both they and their mother were okay. He closed his eyes and despite not being a religious man, he offered a silent prayer to keep his precious family safe.

Dr. Benesch's predictions were right. Donna didn't sleep for much longer, her contractions starting up once more. And, despite a worrying few minutes when their baby's heart rate suddenly dropped, the second birth did indeed proceed much more smoothly than the first.

So it was that at 3.27am, Ivy Evelyn Specter was born. Her wails even louder than those of her older brother, and as she was placed in his arms, Harvey broke down in tears. He was completely overwhelmed with emotion.

"Thank you," he whispered to Donna as he met her exhausted but loving gaze.

* * *

Two days later, he was standing next to Donna's bed, two incubators beside him, with both babies sound asleep. The room was full of flowers, balloons and toys, having been visited by family and many of their friends already.

Mike and Rachel had just arrived, they'd just about managed to squeeze through the door, having had difficulty due to a ridiculous number of helium balloons and two of the largest teddy bears Harvey had ever seen.

"You have got to be kidding me. There's no way in hell they will fit in the car." Harvey scoffed.

Mike grinned. "I know, but I thought it would be fun to see you try."

Harvey narrowed his eyes at Mike. "Are you going to come and visit every day? We had enough of you yesterday."

"Hey, I take my godfather duties seriously," Mike grinned.

"I never asked you to be Godfather. Did you ask him to be godfather?" Harvey turned to Donna.

"I may have, but in my defense, I was on some seriously heavy medication." Donna pouted, batting her eyelashes.

Mike placed the giant teddies in the corner of the room and shrugged at Harvey. "I can understand why you might have reservations about choosing me as Godfather. I mean we all know how awkward it will be when these two realise how much cooler I am than you."

"That's only because you're a convicted felon."

"...and therefore, much cooler than you."

"Okay Fonzie, I think it's time for you to leave." Harvey smirked.

"No way Batman. We've got a sweepstake going, and I'm here to collect."

Harvey tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow.

"What sweepstake is that?" Donna asked.

"The only one that matters. What name you're going to give to Specter Jr. here. I mean come on guys, it's been two days now. Poor little guy is going to get jealous that his sister has a name and he doesn't!"

"He's two days old!" Donna chuckled.

"Exactly, it's well overdue!" Rachel chimed in.

"Do I really want to know what names are in the sweepstake?" Harvey asked with a grimace.

Rachel giggled. "Oh you really, really do..."

"Don't tell me," Harvey groaned. "Louis wants us to call him Romeo or Hamlet."

"Even better, he debated for a while between Prospero and Oberon but finally staked $500 on Banquo…"

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"Samantha is adamant it's going to be Harvey Jr...cause you know, what with your ego and all, and Alex reckons you'll just stick with baby number one because you like a challenge." Mike was grinning from ear to ear.

"I see, and what's your money on?" Harvey asked, his tongue in his cheek as he tried to keep a straight face.

"I've always thought Hector Specter has a nice ring to it." Mike looked away wistfully.

"Hilarious!"

At that a wail sounded from one of the incubators and Harvey moved swiftly over, identifying the sound as coming from his daughter. He picked her up gently, and cradled her in his arm, swaying her gently back and forth.

"See?" Mike said, his tone automatically softening as he watched his friend. "Ivy likes it. Hector Specter it is!"

"If you must know," Donna said with an amused grin, as Rachel swatted at Mike's chest. "We _have_ chosen a name." At that, Ivy's brother decided to make his presence known and a couple of snufflings suddenly turned into another wail to rival that of his sister's.

Donna reached over and picked up their son. She placed a kiss on his forehead, instantly calming the little boy, before offering him over for Rachel to hold. Her friend gave a little squeal of excitement and carefully accepted the precious bundle from Donna.

Donna smiled. "Meet Jacob Gordon Michael Specter."

Mike's smirk faded with surprise and his eyes instantly lit up. "Really?"

Harvey grinned as he carefully placed Ivy back in her crib, now that she was soundly back to sleep. "Yeah. Donna's grandpa was named Michael, so…"

"Sure he was!" Mike mumbled, but he was grinning from ear to ear. "Thanks guys. That means a lot. Although I'm a bit pissed that I'm down a few hundred bucks on the sweepstake."

Donna giggled but her smile soon faded when she noticed a quick glance between Mike and Rachel, and scrutinizing him further, she quickly deduced that something was amiss.

"Mike?" Donna said suddenly, and he looked over and met her frown. "There's something else, isn't there?"

Mike swallowed and he fidgeted nervously as he looked between the others in the room.

"What is it?" Harvey picked up on the sudden tension.

Mike opened his mouth and then hesitated as he ran his fingers through his hair. Harvey's shoulders sunk, guessing what was coming next. "It's the trial isn't it?" Harvey felt his insides churn. Louis had mentioned when out of earshot from Donna the previous day, that the jury were taking longer than originally expected. They'd been out for a few days.

Mike nodded.

Harvey shook his head. "Goddamn it. What happened? They came back didn't they? What was the verdict?... Don't tell me he got away with it."

Mike held his hand out, palm up, as if to calm the coming storm. "It's not what we wanted, but he is going down."

Harvey's jaw tensed and he glared at Mike. "What happened?"

"Not guilty for murder. Not guilty for most, but not all of the fraud, embezzlement, money laundering charges—"

"Jesus Christ. What about kidnapping?"

Mike simply stared back at his friend, his lips rolled between his teeth and Harvey spun away from him "Mother fucker!" he spat out angrily.

Mike continued. "Not enough evidence that he was the kingpin apparently. His defense team must have done an outstanding job of convincing the jury that it was all Maxim."

Harvey moved to the window, his hands spread out on the ledge, his head hung down, eyes closed as he digested what Mike was telling him.

"So what _did_ he go down for?" he asked dejectedly.

"Aggravated assault and some of the fraud charges."

"How long?"

"Harvey—"

"How long, Mike?"

"Eight years."

Harvey's knuckles whitened as he gripped the window ledge. "You're fucking kidding me? He'll be out in four!" Harvey bellowed.

Donna had remained silent as she listened to their exchange, but as she observed how tormented her husband was at the news, she cleared her throat.

"Harvey?"

Harvey looked back over his shoulder at his wife, his expression so dejected, so dispirited and he shook his head at her. "I'm so sorry, Donna. I'm so, so, sorry."

"Hey, enough!" she said firmly. "It's done. There's no point dwelling on it now."

"But I promised I would make him pay!"

"And you did! His plan failed, he lost his business empire, he's now in jail. None of that would have happened without you. You did that. So, enough, Harvey. We have each other, and we now have our two beautiful babies. They're strong and healthy, despite all the odds. We have a lot to be thankful for."

Harvey stepped away from the window and over to his wife, taking the hand that she was reaching out to him. He gave it a squeeze as he leaned down and placed a kiss to her temple. "I am more than thankful, Donna. You have no idea. I'm just…" his words faltered.

"I know," she whispered to him.

"...and with Forstman too," he murmured.

"I know," she repeated softly as she placed her hand on his cheek.

"Actually, that's the other news I have," Mike interrupted.

Harvey and Donna both looked up at him with a frown.

"Forstman won't be a problem to you anymore." Mike said with a careful smile.

Harvey lifted an eyebrow. "His appeal got turned down?"

"No… he's dead."

Harvey's eyes widened and he glanced to Rachel for confirmation, who nodded, before fixing his stare back on his friend. "What? When?... How?"

"Last night. They still have to do a post mortem, but they think it was a brain aneurysm."

"Holy shit!" Donna gasped.

Harvey expelled a heavy sigh and closed his eyes temporarily as he let Mike's words sink in. When he opened them again, he turned back to Donna and lifted his hands to the sides of her neck, and gently pulled her forward so that he could kiss her softly.

"I didn't make him suffer the way I wanted… but I'll take it," he whispered against her lips. He gave her a soft smile and she reciprocated it. Their shared relief that Harvey's nemesis was no longer a thorn in their side.

"We should leave you guys to it," Rachel announced, interrupting their moment. "I've no doubt these little ones will want feeding soon, and I'm sure you still need to get some rest." She carefully passed Jacob back into his mother's arms and stepped back, wiping a happy tear from her cheek.

Mike nodded, taking her hand. "We'll see you guys in a few days. Let me know how you cope with getting Rufus and Jemima into the car."

"Who?" Harvey frowned.

"The teddies," Mike grinned and Harvey rolled his eyes. "Donna… I want pictures!"

Donna chuckled but her attention soon shifted back to her son in her arms, as she gazed lovingly down at him.

As Mike and Rachel bid their final farewells and made their way to the door, Harvey suddenly stood and strode over to his friend, pulling him into a bear hug.

"Thanks Mike… for everything."

The two men held their embrace before pulling away and swiftly nodding at one another, both choking back tears.

"Anytime Batman."

* * *

A week later, it was time for Harvey to take his family home.

He felt a buzz of excitement, as he acknowledged that this really was the start of the rest of their lives, and although he was well aware that life would be very different, he couldn't have been happier about it. He couldn't wait.

The babies were both dressed and ready to go. Harvey had checked three times already that their hats, booties and blankets were all in place, much to Donna's amusement. Harvey's affection and attentiveness did not come as a surprise to her. She'd always known that this was the real him. Now she got to see him extend his love to their children, and watching him, being totally besotted with them, filled her heart with joy.

"You ready?" he said with a smile, as they each clutched a bassinet.

"We're ready."

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Benesch poked her head around. She was clutching two pink and blue helium balloons and wearing a big grin. "Oh I'm glad I caught you before you left. I wanted to say goodbye and wish you best of luck," she said with a wink.

Harvey chuckled. "Did you not see the obscene number of balloons we've already received this week?" he quipped as he pointed to the two balloons.

Dr. Benesch shook her head and laughed. "I did see, yes. I think you broke the hospital record for the most balloons and flowers. Which is why, these aren't from me. They were left at the desk for you and I wanted to make sure you got them before you left."

"Thank you Doctor," Donna said as she took the balloons and tied them round the handles of Ivy's bassinet. "And thank you for everything that you did for us. We are so grateful."

"Just doing my job. You take care now."

They followed her out of the room and made their way to the car. Donna gingerly settled herself into the front passenger seat, Harvey insisting that she still take it easy. She suspected it was also so that he could be the one to strap the babies into the back. There is no way he'd be satisfied unless he was the one to secure them, yet wouldn't dare suggest that she wouldn't be just as careful.

Harvey double checked Jacob's car seat, placing a kiss on his son's tiny nose once he was satisfied, before switching around the other side of the car to do the same with Ivy. He untangled the balloons from the handles of her bassinet, to place them in the trunk of the car, and that's when he saw it. A white card hanging from the ribbon of the pink balloon. He turned it over and his breath hitched as he read the words.

_Many congratulations Mr and Mrs Specter._

_I hope you liked my gift, Charles never saw it coming._

_I'll be seeing you soon. R K xx_

Harvey swallowed, his heart racing _._

"I think we're good to go, Harvey. Fifteen checks is more than enough," Donna giggled, her voice breaking through his shocked reaction.

"Harvey?"

"Yeah, I know," he said quickly and flashed her his signature smile as he scrunched the card up in his hand and threw it on the ground. He shut the trunk and with a flick of his wrist, released the balloons, and they whipped away in the breeze.

He climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine, reaching across and grabbing Donna's hand.

"Let's go home."

THE END.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn't be me if I didn't end the whole story with some kind of cliffhanger.
> 
> Sorry... not sorry ;-)
> 
> Jo xxx


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